Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Cause/Effect Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: In recent years, the rise of budget airlines has made international travel more accessible to the masses. Discuss the effects this has had on the countries that have seen a significant increase in tourists. Consider both the positive and negative impacts.
Now a days,the increase in amount of budget airline has made the tower intrenationally more appproachible for passengers.In this essay i will discuss both impacts positive as well as negative on the countries by significient increase in the amount of tourist.
The first impact is that by increase in amount of budget for airplanes system it is more convient for passenger for travelling from one country to other country for tour.
When a tourist have to not fase the problem in travelling from one country to other country.then the amount of tourist increase .because they have no problem in travelling from one place to other and they reach to his desire safely.
When the amount of tourist increase in one country it also affect its economy and also shows his beauty to other countries and also shows his hospitality .for example if a tourist go to the country and there they seen his beauty parks local cousins snow capped mountain and his hospitality .they show to other countries and from this their to other countries showing.it is also bad effect on the country some time tourist enter to one country and shows his bad pictures to other world .for example if a person enter to one country and they experienced and meet with those people who are ethically bad manner or seen those area at which a lot of dirts for example plastic bags etc.and they show to other countries by social media .
Another impact is that some time people go to one country and the people of this country have one religion and the tourist that come to his country has other religion both the religion does not matches with each other so from this some ethical issues occure which have bad effect on society and also there some wars had occure .
Over view,if there are no issues in travelling for tourist mean there have excellent budget for air services then tourist amount will be increase simultaneously and will have good effect on the country economy and also in holis showment to other countries.
The first impact is that by increase in amount of budget for airplanes system it is more convient for passenger for travelling from one country to other country for tour.
When a tourist have to not fase the problem in travelling from one country to other country.then the amount of tourist increase .because they have no problem in travelling from one place to other and they reach to his desire safely.
When the amount of tourist increase in one country it also affect its economy and also shows his beauty to other countries and also shows his hospitality .for example if a tourist go to the country and there they seen his beauty parks local cousins snow capped mountain and his hospitality .they show to other countries and from this their to other countries showing.it is also bad effect on the country some time tourist enter to one country and shows his bad pictures to other world .for example if a person enter to one country and they experienced and meet with those people who are ethically bad manner or seen those area at which a lot of dirts for example plastic bags etc.and they show to other countries by social media .
Another impact is that some time people go to one country and the people of this country have one religion and the tourist that come to his country has other religion both the religion does not matches with each other so from this some ethical issues occure which have bad effect on society and also there some wars had occure .
Over view,if there are no issues in travelling for tourist mean there have excellent budget for air services then tourist amount will be increase simultaneously and will have good effect on the country economy and also in holis showment to other countries.
Submitted on April 1, 2024 at 6:21 PM
Overall Evaluation
3.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic of the impact of budget airlines on international travel and its effects on countries with increased tourism. However, there are several areas that need improvement for a higher IELTS band score. Firstly, your essay lacks clear structure and coherence; it's important to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Secondly, there are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder comprehension. Working on sentence structure and grammar is crucial. Additionally, your argument would benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the positive and negative effects of increased tourism. Consider discussing economic benefits, cultural exchange, environmental impact, and social issues in more detail. Lastly, ensure your essay directly addresses the task by discussing the effects on countries rather than focusing too broadly or veering off-topic. Improving these areas could significantly enhance the clarity and quality of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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3.5
Coherence & Cohesion
3 Bands
Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to grammatical errors, unclear sentence structures, and a lack of logical flow between ideas. Strengthening topic sentences and clearly separating paragraphs by ideas (positive and negative impacts) could improve coherence. Additionally, using transitional phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs will enhance the essay's readability.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay lacks a clear structure and idea flow, making it challenging to follow your arguments. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are not distinctly separated, and the ideas within paragraphs are not logically connected. This significantly impacts the readability and coherence of your essay. Band: 3.0
Bad Sentence(s)
Now a days,the increase in amount of budget airline has made the tower intrenationally more appproachible for passengers.
Corrected Sentence:
Nowadays, the increase in the number of budget airlines has made international travel more accessible for passengers.
Nowadays, the increase in the number of budget airlines has made international travel more accessible for passengers.
Clarify and correct grammatical errors for a stronger introduction.
When a tourist have to not fase the problem in travelling from one country to other country.then the amount of tourist increase .because they have no problem in travelling from one place to other and they reach to his desire safely.
Corrected Sentence:
When tourists do not face problems in travelling from one country to another, the number of tourists increases because they can travel easily and reach their desired destinations safely.
When tourists do not face problems in travelling from one country to another, the number of tourists increases because they can travel easily and reach their desired destinations safely.
Revise for clarity and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by planning your essay with a clear structure in mind: an introduction that outlines the essay, body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your points. Use transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are not clearly defined, and the ideas within them are jumbled rather than being presented in a logical sequence. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Band: 3.0
Bad Sentence(s)
When the amount of tourist increase in one country it also affect its economy and also shows his beauty to other countries and also shows his hospitality .for example if a tourist go to the country and there they seen his beauty parks local cousins snow capped mountain and his hospitality .they show to other countries and from this their to other countries showing.
Corrected Sentence:
An increase in tourists positively affects a country's economy by showcasing its beauty and hospitality. For example, tourists who visit and experience the beautiful parks, local cuisine, and snow-capped mountains often share their experiences with others, promoting the country further.
An increase in tourists positively affects a country's economy by showcasing its beauty and hospitality. For example, tourists who visit and experience the beautiful parks, local cuisine, and snow-capped mountains often share their experiences with others, promoting the country further.
Break down into clearer, more focused sentences and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
Focus on creating distinct paragraphs for each main idea. Start a paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and use a concluding sentence to summarize the paragraph's main point. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is limited and often incorrect, which disrupts the flow of your essay. There's a noticeable lack of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. Band: 2.5
Bad Sentence(s)
When the amount of tourist increase in one country it also affect its economy and also shows his beauty to other countries and also shows his hospitality .for example if a tourist go to the country and there they seen his beauty parks local cousins snow capped mountain and his hospitality .they show to other countries and from this their to other countries showing.
Corrected Sentence:
An increase in tourists not only positively affects a country's economy but also showcases its natural beauty and hospitality. For instance, tourists are likely to share their positive experiences, such as visiting beautiful parks and tasting local cuisine, with others, thereby promoting the country further.
An increase in tourists not only positively affects a country's economy but also showcases its natural beauty and hospitality. For instance, tourists are likely to share their positive experiences, such as visiting beautiful parks and tasting local cuisine, with others, thereby promoting the country further.
Use cohesive devices to better connect ideas.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating transition words and phrases such as 'firstly', 'in addition', 'however', and 'consequently'. These will help to connect your ideas more clearly and improve the flow of your essay.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences need improvement for clarity and directness. They do not effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Bad Sentence(s)
Now a days,the increase in amount of budget airline has made the tower intrenationally more appproachible for passengers.
Corrected Sentence:
Nowadays, the rise of budget airlines has made international travel more accessible to passengers.
Nowadays, the rise of budget airlines has made international travel more accessible to passengers.
Clarify and correct grammatical errors to improve readability.
When a tourist have to not fase the problem in travelling from one country to other country.then the amount of tourist increase .
Corrected Sentence:
The convenience of budget airlines increases tourist numbers as they face fewer travel issues.
The convenience of budget airlines increases tourist numbers as they face fewer travel issues.
Rewrite for clarity and correct grammatical mistakes.
Suggestions
Start each paragraph with a clear, concise sentence that introduces the main idea. Use active voice and check for grammatical accuracy. Avoid overly complex or run-on sentences.
Counter Points
Your essay struggles to effectively handle contrasting viewpoints. The discussion of positive and negative impacts lacks depth and clarity.
Bad Sentence(s)
it is also bad effect on the country some time tourist enter to one country and shows his bad pictures to other world .
Corrected Sentence:
However, the influx of tourists can also negatively impact a country's image when visitors share unfavorable experiences or environmental issues online.
However, the influx of tourists can also negatively impact a country's image when visitors share unfavorable experiences or environmental issues online.
Clarify the sentence and directly address how it contrasts with previous points.
Suggestions
To better integrate counterarguments, clearly distinguish between positive and negative impacts in separate paragraphs. Use transitional phrases like 'However,' 'On the other hand,' or 'Conversely' to introduce contrasting viewpoints.
Task Achievement
3.5 Bands
Overall, your essay attempts to address the task but is significantly hindered by issues with clarity, coherence, grammar, and spelling. Focusing on clear argument development, providing specific examples, and improving language accuracy would enhance your essay significantly.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
Your essay attempts to address the question by discussing both positive and negative impacts of budget airlines on countries. However, the clarity and depth of your argument could be improved to fully hit the mark.
Bad Example(s)
Now a days,the increase in amount of budget airline has made the tower intrenationally more appproachible for passengers.
This sentence is confusing due to spelling and grammatical errors, making it hard to understand.
Development of Position
Your argument's development is hindered by a lack of clear structure and coherence. It's challenging to follow your line of reasoning.
Bad Example(s)
Another impact is that some time people go to one country and the people of this country have one religion and the tourist that come to his country has other religion both the religion does not matches with each other so from this some ethical issues occure which have bad effect on society and also there some wars had occure .
This sentence is convoluted and lacks clarity, making it difficult to understand the point being made.
Supporting Details
The examples provided are somewhat relevant but lack specificity and depth. More detailed and concrete examples would strengthen your argument.
Bad Example(s)
for example if a tourist go to the country and there they seen his beauty parks local cousins snow capped mountain and his hospitality .they show to other countries and from this their to other countries showing.
This example is vague and grammatically incorrect, making it difficult to understand the point being conveyed.
Conclusion
Your conclusion attempts to summarize the essay's main points but lacks the impact and clarity needed to be compelling.
Bad Example(s)
Over view,if there are no issues in travelling for tourist mean there have excellent budget for air services then tourist amount will be increase simultaneously and will have good effect on the country economy and also in holis showment to other countries.
The conclusion is confusing and contains several grammatical errors, weakening its overall impact.
Lexical Resources
4.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks variety and sophistication in lexical resources. There are numerous spelling and grammatical errors that hinder comprehension. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and focusing on accuracy would significantly improve your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| Now a days | Nowadays | Correct spelling. |
| intrenationally | internationally | Spelling error. |
| approachible | approachable | Spelling error. |
| convient | convenient | Spelling error. |
| fase | face | Spelling error. |
| significient | significant | Spelling error. |
| cousins | cuisine | Incorrect word usage. |
| holis showment | cultural showcase | Clarifies meaning and corrects phrase. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
country 14 times | nation, state, territory |
tourist 11 times | traveler, visitor |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Economically beneficial Providing financial gain. | Providing financial gain. |
| Cultural exchange The sharing of ideas, customs, and social behavior between different cultures. | The sharing of ideas, customs, and social behavior between different cultures. |
| Sustainable tourism Tourism that takes full account of its current and future economic, social, and environmental impacts. | Tourism that takes full account of its current and future economic, social, and environmental impacts. |
| Infrastructure development The construction and improvement of foundational services with the aim of sparking economic growth and improvements in quality of life. | The construction and improvement of foundational services with the aim of sparking economic growth and improvements in quality of life. |
| Environmental degradation The deterioration of the environment through depletion of resources such as air, water, and soil; the destruction of ecosystems; habitat destruction; the extinction of wildlife; and pollution. | The deterioration of the environment through depletion of resources such as air, water, and soil; the destruction of ecosystems; habitat destruction; the extinction of wildlife; and pollution. |
Out of Context
shows his bad pictures
Corrected Sentence:
portrays a negative image
portrays a negative image
Describing the impact of tourism on a country's image.
ethically bad manner
Corrected Sentence:
unethical behavior or poor manners
unethical behavior or poor manners
Describing the interaction between tourists and local culture.
Grammatical Range
3.5 Bands
Your essay suffers from numerous grammatical issues, including spelling mistakes ('intrenationally', 'approachible'), incorrect word choice ('tower' instead of 'travel'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('a tourist have' instead of 'a tourist has'). Additionally, your sentences often lack punctuation, leading to run-on sentences or fragments that make the essay difficult to follow. Focusing on these areas can significantly improve the clarity and readability of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity, often repeating similar patterns without clear progression or structure. This makes the essay feel monotonous and can hinder the reader's understanding.
Bad Example(s)
Now a days,the increase in amount of budget airline has made the tower intrenationally more appproachible for passengers.
This sentence is a run-on and lacks clarity due to missing punctuation and incorrect word usage.
When a tourist have to not fase the problem in travelling from one country to other country.then the amount of tourist increase .
This sentence is fragmented and confusing, with incorrect verb agreement ('have' instead of 'has') and spelling errors.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is inconsistent, which can confuse the reader about when events are happening. It's crucial to maintain the same tense when discussing specific time frames.
Bad Example(s)
When the amount of tourist increase in one country it also affect its economy and also shows his beauty to other countries and also shows his hospitality .
This sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly ('increase' should be 'increases', 'affect' should be 'affects').
Grammatical Errors
Now a days
Correction:
Nowadays
Nowadays
Incorrect spelling and spacing.
intrenationally
Correction:
internationally
internationally
Spelling mistake.
approachible
Correction:
approachable
approachable
Incorrect word choice and spelling.
When a tourist have
Correction:
When a tourist has
When a tourist has
Subject-verb agreement error.
fase
Correction:
face
face
Spelling mistake.
his beauty parks local cousins
Correction:
its beautiful parks, local cuisine
its beautiful parks, local cuisine
Incorrect pronoun usage and spelling. 'Cousins' should be 'cuisine', and 'his' should refer to 'its' for countries.