Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that the government should provide free healthcare services to all citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and examples to support your viewpoint.
Community demands from the government of the state to facilitate them with healthcare service free of cost. They claim for health facility because people think that this is the main right of the people in their state.
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state . When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health. Because they dont have to pay for their checkups.
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment. State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country . They dont get ill and the ratio of the bed ridden illness is less because of free medical facility . People try to reach the hospital on time for treatment because they dont have to pay a single peny from their pocket.
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population. That will help in their development.
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state . When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health. Because they dont have to pay for their checkups.
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment. State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country . They dont get ill and the ratio of the bed ridden illness is less because of free medical facility . People try to reach the hospital on time for treatment because they dont have to pay a single peny from their pocket.
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population. That will help in their development.
Submitted on February 7, 2024 at 5:05 PM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic of free healthcare provided by the government and presents a clear stance in favor of it. You've effectively used examples like Canada and the UK to support your argument, which strengthens your position. However, your essay could benefit from a more structured approach, including an introduction, body paragraphs with distinct points, and a conclusion. Additionally, paying attention to spelling ('penadamics' should be 'pandemics', 'beside' should be 'besides', 'yo' should be 'to'), grammar, and punctuation will improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider expanding on the counterarguments to free healthcare and providing rebuttals to create a more balanced discussion. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic but needs refinement in structure and language accuracy.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5 Bands
Your essay shows a clear stance on the importance of free healthcare, which aids in coherence. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from a clearer structure with distinct introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs. Addressing counterpoints and providing more varied examples could also improve cohesion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear stance on the issue, but the flow of ideas could be more logically structured. The progression from one point to the next sometimes feels abrupt, lacking smooth transitions.
Good Sentence(s)
For example in Canada and UK the health facility is free that's why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country.
This sentence effectively uses specific examples to support your argument, enhancing the logical flow.
Bad Sentence(s)
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
Corrected Sentence:
Besides, the state can easily manage viruses and pandemics that spread across the country because healthcare is free, encouraging individuals to seek vaccination and treatment.
Besides, the state can easily manage viruses and pandemics that spread across the country because healthcare is free, encouraging individuals to seek vaccination and treatment.
Clarify the idea and correct spelling errors to improve readability.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by outlining the main points you intend to discuss. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and employ transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are generally clear but sometimes lack a focused topic sentence. Ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence will improve structure.
Bad Sentence(s)
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state.
Corrected Sentence:
People have many different viewpoints about this facility. However, in my opinion, it is a fundamental right for individuals to receive free healthcare in their state.
People have many different viewpoints about this facility. However, in my opinion, it is a fundamental right for individuals to receive free healthcare in their state.
Split this into two sentences to clarify the distinction between general opinions and your viewpoint.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs with a single, clear idea. Start with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes or transitions to the next idea.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. Some sentences feel isolated due to a lack of linking words or phrases.
Bad Sentence(s)
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population.
Corrected Sentence:
In addition to this, developed countries provide free medical facilities to their population.
In addition to this, developed countries provide free medical facilities to their population.
Improve cohesion by correcting the typo and using a clearer linking phrase.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, familiarize yourself with a variety of linking words and phrases. Practice using them to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally establish the subject well by stating the importance of free healthcare. However, they could be more varied and specific to guide the reader through each paragraph's unique focus.
Good Sentence(s)
As people have many different point of views about this facility but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state.
This sentence effectively introduces your personal stance on the issue, making it clear that you support free healthcare as a fundamental right.
Bad Sentence(s)
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population.
Corrected Sentence:
Moreover, the provision of free healthcare in developed countries significantly contributes to their overall development.
Moreover, the provision of free healthcare in developed countries significantly contributes to their overall development.
Clarify and directly relate the topic sentence to the paragraph's argument, focusing on how free healthcare contributes to a country's development.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start each paragraph with a statement that not only introduces the topic but also shows how it connects to your thesis. Make sure each topic sentence is distinct and progresses the argument.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints, which is crucial for a balanced argument. Including and refuting counterarguments can strengthen your position.
Suggestions
To better integrate counterarguments, identify common objections to free healthcare, such as the potential for increased taxes or longer wait times. Then, provide evidence or reasoning to refute these points, showing how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
Overall, you have a clear stance supporting free healthcare, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from more careful proofreading to correct grammatical errors and clearer organization of your ideas. Including counterarguments and addressing them could also strengthen your position. Your argument is passionate but needs more precision and depth to achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question by affirming the importance of free healthcare as a right, which aligns with the task. However, more diverse viewpoints could have been explored to fully answer the question.
Good example(s)
When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health.
This sentence effectively highlights the positive impact of free healthcare on public health awareness.
Bad Example(s)
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state.
This sentence is confusing and grammatically incorrect, making it hard to understand your viewpoint.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and leans strongly towards supporting free healthcare. However, it lacks depth in exploring counterarguments or challenges associated with implementing such a system.
Good example(s)
State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
This sentence provides a clear stance on how free healthcare could lead to voluntary health compliance.
Bad Example(s)
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population.
This sentence is vague and contains a typo ('yo' instead of 'to'), weakening your argument.
Supporting Details
Your examples, such as the reference to Canada and the UK, are relevant but lack specific data or sources to strengthen your argument. More detailed examples or statistics could improve your essay.
Good example(s)
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country.
This provides a real-world example of your argument, showing the positive effects of free healthcare.
Bad Example(s)
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
This sentence is filled with spelling errors and lacks clarity, making it a weak supporting detail.
Conclusion
Your conclusion seems to be missing or not clearly defined. A strong conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position on the issue.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a strong argument for free healthcare. However, there are areas where lexical resources could be improved to enhance clarity and effectiveness. Attention to varied vocabulary, correct usage, and avoiding repetition will strengthen your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| penadamics | pandemics | Spelling error. |
| soo | so | Spelling error. |
| inforce | enforce | Incorrect word choice. |
| peny | penny | Spelling error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
free 5 times | complimentary, no-cost, gratis |
health facility 4 times | medical center, hospital, clinic |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| universal healthcare A health care system that provides health care and financial protection to all citizens of a particular country. | A health care system that provides health care and financial protection to all citizens of a particular country. |
| preventative care Medical services that are aimed at preventing health problems before they occur. | Medical services that are aimed at preventing health problems before they occur. |
| public health The science and art of preventing disease, prolonging life, and promoting health through organized efforts and informed choices of society, organizations, public and private, communities, and individuals. | The science and art of preventing disease, prolonging life, and promoting health through organized efforts and informed choices of society, organizations, public and private, communities, and individuals. |
| healthcare accessibility The ability to obtain needed, affordable, convenient, acceptable, and effective healthcare services in a timely manner. | The ability to obtain needed, affordable, convenient, acceptable, and effective healthcare services in a timely manner. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a need for improvement in grammar, including spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure. There are multiple instances of misspelled words ('penadamics', 'beause', 'soo', 'approch') and incorrect use of punctuation and capitalization. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity. Most sentences are structured simply and similarly, which can make the essay feel monotonous.
Bad Example(s)
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
This sentence is overly long and combines multiple ideas without clear separation, making it hard to follow.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on present simple to discuss current situations. However, there are instances where tense usage could be improved for clarity.
Bad Example(s)
State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
The tense usage here is awkward. 'State has no need to enforce' would be more appropriate, and 'enforce' is the correct spelling.
Grammatical Errors
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
Correction:
Besides, the state can easily deal with viruses and pandemics that spread in the country because the health facility is free, so people themselves try to approach the hospital for vaccines and treatment.
Besides, the state can easily deal with viruses and pandemics that spread in the country because the health facility is free, so people themselves try to approach the hospital for vaccines and treatment.
Corrected for spelling ('penadamics' to 'pandemics', 'beause' to 'because', 'soo' to 'so', 'approch' to 'approach'), punctuation, and clarity.
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country .
Correction:
For example, in Canada and the UK, the health facility is free; that's why their citizens remain healthy and help in the welfare of the country.
For example, in Canada and the UK, the health facility is free; that's why their citizens remain healthy and help in the welfare of the country.
Corrected for capitalization ('canada' to 'Canada'), punctuation, and subject-verb agreement ('helps' to 'help').