Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that governments should invest more in healthcare rather than defense. What is your opinion?
The question of wheter goverments should put more mony into healthcare instead of defense is a widely discused topic. From my perspective, I totaly agree that a bigger slice of the budget should be dedicatd to healthcare.
Firstly, a strong healthcare system is crucial for a nations well-being. By investin more in healthcare, goverments can assure a healtier and more productive society. This can lead to increased economic growth and stablity, creating a positive cycle.
Secondly, investin in healthcare can help address the root causes of various diseases, lessening the burden on the healthcare system over time. Preventon measures, like public health campains and vaccinatons, can significatly decrease illness rates, saving lives and valuable resources.
On the flip side, defense is undeniably importnt for national securty. However, excessive spending on defense might result in neglegence in other vital areas, like education and infrastrcture. A balaced approach is necessary to ensure overall national developement.
In concluson, while defense is undoubtly importnt, goverments should prioritize healthcare to foster a helthier and more prosprous society. A well-fnded healthcare system not only contributs to the well-being of citizens but also establishes a solid foundtion for national progress. It is imperatve for goverments to reconsider their budget allocatons and prioritize the health and welfar of their people.
Firstly, a strong healthcare system is crucial for a nations well-being. By investin more in healthcare, goverments can assure a healtier and more productive society. This can lead to increased economic growth and stablity, creating a positive cycle.
Secondly, investin in healthcare can help address the root causes of various diseases, lessening the burden on the healthcare system over time. Preventon measures, like public health campains and vaccinatons, can significatly decrease illness rates, saving lives and valuable resources.
On the flip side, defense is undeniably importnt for national securty. However, excessive spending on defense might result in neglegence in other vital areas, like education and infrastrcture. A balaced approach is necessary to ensure overall national developement.
In concluson, while defense is undoubtly importnt, goverments should prioritize healthcare to foster a helthier and more prosprous society. A well-fnded healthcare system not only contributs to the well-being of citizens but also establishes a solid foundtion for national progress. It is imperatve for goverments to reconsider their budget allocatons and prioritize the health and welfar of their people.
Submitted on March 9, 2024 at 4:43 AM
Overall Evaluation
6.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, arguing convincingly for prioritizing healthcare over defense spending. Your introduction sets a clear stance, and your body paragraphs provide strong reasons supporting your opinion. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the essay that could distract readers and undermine the professionalism of your writing. It's crucial to proofread your essay to correct these mistakes. Additionally, while your argument is well-structured, incorporating more specific examples and data could strengthen your points further. Finally, your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing the importance of healthcare. Overall, with some revisions for spelling and the addition of more detailed examples, your essay would be even more compelling.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6.5
Coherence & Cohesion
7 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively arguing for prioritizing healthcare over defense.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, a strong healthcare system is crucial for a nation's well-being.
This sentence effectively introduces a key argument supporting the thesis.
Bad Sentence(s)
The question of wheter goverments should put more mony into healthcare instead of defense is a widely discused topic.
Corrected Sentence:
The question of whether governments should allocate more money to healthcare instead of defense is a widely discussed topic.
The question of whether governments should allocate more money to healthcare instead of defense is a widely discussed topic.
Correct spelling errors and clarify the statement.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, make sure each paragraph introduces a new idea that builds on the previous one. Use transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
Good Sentence(s)
On the flip side, defense is undeniably important for national security.
This sentence effectively transitions to discussing the counterargument, maintaining paragraph clarity.
Suggestions
For more focused paragraphs, start with a topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that ties back to your overall argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay makes good use of cohesive devices, linking ideas smoothly across and within paragraphs.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, a strong healthcare system is crucial for a nation's well-being.
The use of 'Firstly' effectively signals the start of a new, structured argument.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying your transitional phrases to avoid repetition and ensure the text flows naturally. Examples include 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'As a result.'
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main ideas of each paragraph, guiding the reader through your argument in favor of prioritizing healthcare over defense.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, a strong healthcare system is crucial for a nation's well-being.
This sentence clearly introduces the paragraph's focus on the importance of a strong healthcare system for a nation's well-being.
On the flip side, defense is undeniably important for national security.
This sentence effectively transitions to discussing the necessity of defense, acknowledging its importance while maintaining your stance.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main argument. Use active voice and ensure the sentence provides a clear direction for the paragraph's content.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints by acknowledging the importance of defense, which strengthens your argument by showing that you have considered multiple perspectives.
Good Sentence(s)
However, excessive spending on defense might result in negligence in other vital areas, like education and infrastructure.
This sentence effectively addresses a potential counterpoint by highlighting the consequences of prioritizing defense over healthcare and other areas.
Suggestions
To more effectively address and integrate counterarguments, consider directly refuting common counterpoints with evidence or examples. This will strengthen your position and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
6 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay presents a clear opinion and supports it with relevant arguments. However, to achieve a higher band, consider adding more detailed examples, specific evidence, and possibly a more persuasive conclusion. Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from your overall score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You effectively addressed the question, presenting a clear opinion that governments should prioritize healthcare over defense.
Good example(s)
From my perspective, I totally agree that a bigger slice of the budget should be dedicated to healthcare.
This sentence clearly states your position, directly answering the question.
Development of Position
Your argument is coherent and progresses logically, but it could be strengthened with more specific examples or data.
Good example(s)
By investing more in healthcare, governments can assure a healthier and more productive society.
This sentence effectively links healthcare investment to societal benefits, reinforcing your position.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant, but they lack depth. Including statistics or case studies could enhance your argument.
Good example(s)
Prevention measures, like public health campaigns and vaccinations, can significantly decrease illness rates, saving lives and valuable resources.
This detail supports your argument by showing how investment in healthcare can lead to tangible benefits.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your position well but could be more impactful with a stronger call to action or a summary of the key benefits discussed.
Good example(s)
A well-funded healthcare system not only contributes to the well-being of citizens but also establishes a solid foundation for national progress.
This sentence effectively summarizes the benefits of prioritizing healthcare, reinforcing your argument.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with a clear stance. However, there are several spelling errors and instances of informal language that detract from the overall professionalism and coherence of your argument. Focusing on spelling and the use of formal vocabulary can significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| wheter | whether | Spelling error. |
| goverments | governments | Spelling error. |
| mony | money | Spelling error. |
| totaly | totally | Spelling error. |
| dedicatd | dedicated | Spelling error. |
| investin | investing | Spelling error. |
| healtier | healthier | Spelling error. |
| stablity | stability | Spelling error. |
| Preventon | Prevention | Spelling error. |
| campains | campaigns | Spelling error. |
| vaccinatons | vaccinations | Spelling error. |
| importnt | important | Spelling error. |
| neglegence | negligence | Spelling error. |
| infrastrcture | infrastructure | Spelling error. |
| balaced | balanced | Spelling error. |
| undoubtly | undoubtedly | Spelling error. |
| prosprous | prosperous | Spelling error. |
| well-fnded | well-funded | Spelling error. |
| contributs | contributes | Spelling error. |
| imperatve | imperative | Spelling error. |
| welfar | welfare | Spelling error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
healthcare 5 times | medical services, health system, medical care |
defense 4 times | security measures, military spending |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Allocate To distribute (resources or duties) for a particular purpose. | To distribute (resources or duties) for a particular purpose. |
| Sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level. | Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level. |
| Efficacy The ability to produce a desired or intended result. | The ability to produce a desired or intended result. |
| Preventative measures Actions taken to prevent something undesirable, such as illness. | Actions taken to prevent something undesirable, such as illness. |
| Public health initiatives Programs and projects undertaken by governments or organizations to improve the health of the public. | Programs and projects undertaken by governments or organizations to improve the health of the public. |
Grammatical Range
6 Bands
Your essay contains several spelling mistakes that detract from its overall quality. Paying closer attention to spelling would significantly improve the readability and professionalism of your writing. Additionally, consider using a wider range of sentence structures to make your argument more dynamic and engaging.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at varying sentence structures, but there is room for improvement in complexity and variation to enhance readability and engagement.
Good example(s)
By investing more in healthcare, governments can assure a healthier and more productive society.
This sentence effectively combines cause and effect in a complex structure that flows well.
Bad Example(s)
The question of whether governments should put more money into healthcare instead of defense is a widely discussed topic.
This opening sentence is a bit lengthy and could be more engaging with a more complex structure.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, aligning well with the argumentative nature of the essay.
Grammatical Errors
wheter
Correction:
whether
whether
Spelling mistake.
goverments
Correction:
governments
governments
Spelling mistake.
mony
Correction:
money
money
Spelling mistake.
totaly
Correction:
totally
totally
Spelling mistake.
dedicatd
Correction:
dedicated
dedicated
Spelling mistake.
investin
Correction:
investing
investing
Spelling mistake.
healtier
Correction:
healthier
healthier
Spelling mistake.
Preventon
Correction:
Prevention
Prevention
Spelling mistake.
campains
Correction:
campaigns
campaigns
Spelling mistake.
vaccinatons
Correction:
vaccinations
vaccinations
Spelling mistake.
importnt
Correction:
important
important
Spelling mistake.
neglegence
Correction:
negligence
negligence
Spelling mistake.
infrastrcture
Correction:
infrastructure
infrastructure
Spelling mistake.
undoubtly
Correction:
undoubtedly
undoubtedly
Spelling mistake.
prosprous
Correction:
prosperous
prosperous
Spelling mistake.
contributs
Correction:
contributes
contributes
Spelling mistake.
foundtion
Correction:
foundation
foundation
Spelling mistake.
imperatve
Correction:
imperative
imperative
Spelling mistake.
welfar
Correction:
welfare
welfare
Spelling mistake.