Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Comparison/Contrast Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you think mass media has more of a positive impact on society by keeping people informed and connected, or a negative impact by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction? Discuss both viewpoints and share your perspective.
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion. These venues not only provide a platform for various forms of entertainment but also contribute to the economic and social fabric of a community in several ways.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Submitted on March 19, 2024 at 2:58 PM
Overall Evaluation
5 Bands
Your essay provides a well-structured argument on the benefits of entertainment venues on local economies and communities. However, it does not address the IELTS Task 2 question regarding the impact of mass media on society. To improve, ensure your essay directly responds to the question asked, discussing both the positive and negative impacts of mass media and providing your perspective. Focus on developing relevant examples and analyses related to mass media's role in keeping people informed, connected, and the potential for spreading misinformation and affecting social interactions. This alignment with the task requirement is crucial for a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
Learn more about overall evaluation
Learn more about overall evaluation
5
Coherence & Cohesion
4 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, focusing on the economic and social benefits of entertainment venues. However, it does not directly address the question about the impact of mass media on society. Band: 5.0
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively introduces a key point about economic benefits, setting a clear direction for the argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media plays a significant role in both positively impacting society by keeping people informed and connected, and negatively by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction.
Mass media plays a significant role in both positively impacting society by keeping people informed and connected, and negatively by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction.
Refocus the essay to directly address the question about mass media's impact.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question posed. Begin with a clear thesis statement that reflects the question's focus and structure your paragraphs to discuss each viewpoint before presenting your perspective.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the content does not align with the question's focus on mass media. Band: 5.0
Good Sentence(s)
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration.
This sentence effectively transitions to a new point, maintaining clear paragraph structure.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure each one directly contributes to answering the essay question. Start paragraphs with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the question's focus.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay uses some cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within paragraphs. However, the overall cohesion is weakened by the essay's failure to directly address the question. Band: 5.5
Good Sentence(s)
For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
This sentence effectively uses an example to support the point made, enhancing cohesion within the paragraph.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating more varied structures, such as comparison and contrast, especially when discussing different viewpoints on the impact of mass media. This will help clarify the relationship between ideas and viewpoints.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, focusing on the positive impacts of entertainment venues on local economies and communities.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence clearly outlines the economic benefits and serves as a strong lead into the supporting details that follow.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration.
It introduces a new aspect of the argument effectively, indicating a shift from economic to urban development impacts.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the paragraph’s main idea. Use active voice and specific language. Ensure each topic sentence connects to your thesis statement.
Counter Points
Your essay did not address the counterpoints related to the impacts of mass media on society, as required by the question. It focused solely on the benefits of entertainment venues without discussing the positive or negative impacts of mass media.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay does not contain sentences addressing counterpoints regarding mass media's impact.
Corrected Sentence:
While mass media can sometimes spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction, it also plays a crucial role in keeping people globally informed and connected, especially in times of crisis.
While mass media can sometimes spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction, it also plays a crucial role in keeping people globally informed and connected, especially in times of crisis.
Consider incorporating a paragraph that discusses potential downsides of mass media, such as misinformation or reduced face-to-face interaction, and then counter these with positive aspects or solutions.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge potential criticisms or opposing views on your topic early in your essay. Then, provide evidence or reasoning to counter these points, which strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
2 Bands
Your essay did not address the given question about mass media's impact on society. Instead, it focused on a completely different topic related to entertainment venues. To improve, ensure that your essay directly responds to the question asked, developing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Response to Question
Your essay does not directly address the question about the impact of mass media on society. Instead, it focuses on the role of entertainment venues in local economies and communities.
Bad Example(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
This sentence, while informative, does not relate to the question about mass media's impact on society.
Development of Position
You did not develop a clear position regarding the impact of mass media, as the essay topic was not addressed.
Bad Example(s)
These venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence fails to develop a position on the mass media's impact, focusing instead on entertainment venues.
Supporting Details
The examples and details provided are relevant to the economic and social benefits of entertainment venues but do not pertain to the discussion on mass media.
Bad Example(s)
For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
This detail, while illustrative for economic impact, is unrelated to the mass media's influence on society.
Conclusion
Your conclusion was not on point as it did not summarize or conclude thoughts on the impact of mass media on society.
Bad Example(s)
Lexical Resources
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of entertainment venues and their impact on local economies and communities. However, it does not address the IELTS task question regarding the impact of mass media on society, which significantly affects the relevance of your lexical resources to the given task.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
local 5 times | community, municipal, regional, domestic |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Mass media Forms of communication that reach large numbers of people, such as television, newspapers, and the internet. | Forms of communication that reach large numbers of people, such as television, newspapers, and the internet. |
| Misinformation False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. | False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. |
| Social cohesion The willingness of members of a society to cooperate with each other in order to survive and prosper. | The willingness of members of a society to cooperate with each other in order to survive and prosper. |
| Urban regeneration The revitalization of urban areas that have experienced decline. | The revitalization of urban areas that have experienced decline. |
Out of Context
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media platforms like social networks, news outlets
Mass media platforms like social networks, news outlets
The essay topic about the impact of mass media on society.
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with a clear command of complex sentence structures and appropriate tense usage throughout the essay. There are no significant grammatical errors to detract from the clarity or professionalism of your writing. Your ability to articulate ideas clearly and coherently is commendable.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences that enhance the readability and sophistication of your argument.
Good example(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to introduce a point, making your argument clear and engaging.
The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties.
It's a long, complex sentence that maintains clarity and coherence, demonstrating your ability to handle advanced sentence structures.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and correct, effectively supporting the clarity and coherence of your argument.
Good example(s)
This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs.
The present tense is used appropriately here to describe ongoing or habitual actions, which is suitable for the context.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay