Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Two-part Question Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: In your view, should governments provide subsidies to renewable energy industries as a means of promoting sustainable development and addressing climate change?
in this day and age the government has become more suffasticated and has started promoting more sustainable development into renewable energy industries as such they have given more funding to the research of nature friendly energy resources.
More countries are switching to eco-friendly energy sources from nuclear power or coal-powered energy resources furthermore I believe it is a fantastic Idea for the preservation of our planet and our world in a result more countries are using windmill power solar panels and water dams these are somewhat a natural alternative to harmful alternatives of power such as nuclear however water dams are what dangerous for the fact that water dams break crack and fall apart it is risky way of producing power but it is better than the alternative.
As a result climate change and global warming may lessen due to the effects of lessened production of toxic vapers and or fluids in the air or water.
In conclusion i believe that every nation will eventually turn to more renewable energy sources.
More countries are switching to eco-friendly energy sources from nuclear power or coal-powered energy resources furthermore I believe it is a fantastic Idea for the preservation of our planet and our world in a result more countries are using windmill power solar panels and water dams these are somewhat a natural alternative to harmful alternatives of power such as nuclear however water dams are what dangerous for the fact that water dams break crack and fall apart it is risky way of producing power but it is better than the alternative.
As a result climate change and global warming may lessen due to the effects of lessened production of toxic vapers and or fluids in the air or water.
In conclusion i believe that every nation will eventually turn to more renewable energy sources.
Submitted on April 7, 2024 at 10:41 AM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the question by expressing a clear viewpoint on the importance of government subsidies for renewable energy industries to promote sustainable development and address climate change. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your essay would benefit from a more structured approach, including an introduction that outlines your main argument, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific point, and a conclusion that summarizes your stance. Secondly, attention to detail in terms of spelling, punctuation (e.g., 'suffasticated' should be 'sophisticated', and proper use of capital letters), and grammar will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Thirdly, providing specific examples or evidence to support your claims could strengthen your argument. Lastly, consider exploring counterarguments to provide a more balanced perspective. Overall, your enthusiasm for renewable energy as a solution to climate change is evident, but refining your essay structure, accuracy, and argument depth could improve your score. Based on the IELTS scoring criteria, your essay might currently fall within the range of 5.0 to 6.0, with potential for a higher score with the suggested improvements.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic, but the flow of ideas could be improved for better clarity and impact. The structure is somewhat linear but lacks clear transitions between points. Overall, I would rate the logical organization a 5.5.
Good Sentence(s)
More countries are switching to eco-friendly energy sources from nuclear power or coal-powered energy resources.
This sentence effectively highlights a global shift towards renewable energy, providing a clear example of the essay's main argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
in this day and age the government has become more suffasticated and has started promoting more sustainable development into renewable energy industries as such they have given more funding to the research of nature friendly energy resources.
Corrected Sentence:
In this day and age, the government has become more sophisticated and has started promoting sustainable development in renewable energy industries. As such, they have increased funding for the research of nature-friendly energy resources.
In this day and age, the government has become more sophisticated and has started promoting sustainable development in renewable energy industries. As such, they have increased funding for the research of nature-friendly energy resources.
Split the sentence for clarity and correct the spelling error.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Follow this with supporting sentences and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main point or links to the next paragraph.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are not clearly defined, making it difficult to distinguish between different sections and points. This affects the overall clarity and structure of your essay. Paragraphing needs significant improvement for better readability. I would rate it a 4.0.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your entire essay appears as a single block of text.
Corrected Sentence:
Introduce clear paragraph breaks, especially between the introduction, body sections, and conclusion, to enhance readability and organization.
Introduce clear paragraph breaks, especially between the introduction, body sections, and conclusion, to enhance readability and organization.
Divide your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
Suggestions
Start by clearly separating your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should deal with a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. Use blank lines to visually separate paragraphs.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is minimal, making the essay feel somewhat disjointed. Including more linking words or phrases could significantly improve the flow of your essay. I would rate it a 4.5.
Bad Sentence(s)
As a result climate change and global warming may lessen due to the effects of lessened production of toxic vapers and or fluids in the air or water.
Corrected Sentence:
As a result, climate change and global warming may lessen due to the reduced production of toxic vapors and fluids in the air or water.
As a result, climate change and global warming may lessen due to the reduced production of toxic vapors and fluids in the air or water.
Clarify the connection between ideas and correct the spelling error ('vapers' to 'vapors').
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of linking words and phrases that clearly show the relationship between ideas, such as 'furthermore', 'however', 'in addition', and 'consequently'. Practice using these in sentences to ensure smoother transitions between points.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences somewhat introduce the main ideas but lack clarity and specificity to effectively guide the reader through the essay.
Good Sentence(s)
More countries are switching to eco-friendly energy sources from nuclear power or coal-powered energy resources
This sentence effectively introduces the idea of a global shift towards renewable energy, which is central to your essay's argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
in this day and age the government has become more suffasticated and has started promoting more sustainable development into renewable energy industries as such they have given more funding to the research of nature friendly energy resources.
Corrected Sentence:
Governments worldwide are increasingly funding renewable energy research to promote sustainable development.
Governments worldwide are increasingly funding renewable energy research to promote sustainable development.
Clarify and simplify the sentence to directly state the main idea.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the main idea. Follow this with a brief explanation or introduction to what will be discussed in the paragraph. Avoid overly complex or vague statements.
Counter Points
Your essay does not effectively handle contrasting viewpoints. While you mention the potential dangers of water dams, this is not developed as a counterpoint to your main argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
water dams are what dangerous for the fact that water dams break crack and fall apart it is risky way of producing power but it is better than the alternative.
Corrected Sentence:
Although water dams pose risks due to structural failures, their benefits in generating clean energy far outweigh the dangers when compared to fossil fuels.
Although water dams pose risks due to structural failures, their benefits in generating clean energy far outweigh the dangers when compared to fossil fuels.
Introduce a clear counterpoint by acknowledging the risks of renewable energy sources, then refute or weigh these against the benefits.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, clearly state potential criticisms or opposing views on your topic. Then, provide evidence or reasoning to refute these points or demonstrate why your argument still stands. This approach not only strengthens your position but also shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
5.5 Bands
Overall, you've made a reasonable attempt to answer the question, but your essay would benefit from clearer arguments, more precise examples, and a stronger focus on the role of government subsidies in promoting renewable energy. Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You've addressed the question by stating your view that governments should support renewable energy industries. However, your argument could be strengthened with more direct references to the role of government subsidies.
Good example(s)
More countries are switching to eco-friendly energy sources from nuclear power or coal-powered energy resources
This sentence effectively highlights the global trend towards renewable energy, supporting the argument for government subsidies.
Bad Example(s)
in this day and age the government has become more suffasticated
This sentence is vague and contains a spelling error ('suffasticated' should be 'sophisticated'). It does not contribute effectively to the argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat clear but lacks depth. You've mentioned the importance of renewable energy but haven't fully developed how subsidies specifically aid in this transition.
Good example(s)
I believe it is a fantastic Idea for the preservation of our planet and our world
Shows your positive stance towards renewable energy, indicating an understanding of its importance.
Bad Example(s)
water dams are what dangerous for the fact that water dams break crack and fall apart
This sentence undermines your argument by highlighting a negative aspect of renewable energy without discussing how subsidies might mitigate such risks.
Supporting Details
Your examples of renewable energy sources are relevant, but you need to provide more detailed evidence on how government subsidies can support these technologies.
Good example(s)
more countries are using windmill power solar panels and water dams
This provides a clear example of renewable energy sources that could benefit from government subsidies.
Bad Example(s)
it is risky way of producing power but it is better than the alternative.
This sentence is too vague and does not offer a strong argument or detailed support for the benefits of subsidies.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your stance but lacks a strong call to action or summary of how subsidies contribute to sustainable development and climate change mitigation.
Bad Example(s)
In conclusion i believe that every nation will eventually turn to more renewable energy sources.
This sentence is too general and does not specifically address the role of government subsidies in the transition to renewable energy.
Lexical Resources
5.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic with a clear stance on the importance of government subsidies for renewable energy industries. However, the lexical resource usage needs improvement for a higher band score. There are instances of informal language, spelling errors, and some words are used inappropriately or repetitively, which affects the overall coherence and sophistication of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| suffasticated | sophisticated | Spelling error and incorrect word usage. |
| fantastic Idea | fantastic idea | Unnecessary capitalization. |
| vapers | vapors | Spelling error. |
| in conclusion i | In conclusion, I | Capitalization and punctuation error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
energy 8 times | power sources, electricity, renewables |
more 5 times | additional, further, increased |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sustainable development Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. | Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. |
| renewable energy Energy from a source that is not depleted when used, such as wind or solar power. | Energy from a source that is not depleted when used, such as wind or solar power. |
| subsidies Financial support extended by the government to an economic sector. | Financial support extended by the government to an economic sector. |
| climate change A change in global or regional climate patterns. | A change in global or regional climate patterns. |
| eco-friendly Not harmful to the environment. | Not harmful to the environment. |
Out of Context
what dangerous
Corrected Sentence:
somewhat dangerous
somewhat dangerous
Describing the risk associated with water dams.
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Your grammar shows a foundational level of competence, but there are several areas for improvement. Attention to detail in spelling ('suffasticated' should be 'sophisticated'), punctuation (missing commas and capitalization at the beginning of sentences), and word choice ('vapers' should be 'vapors') are key areas to focus on. Additionally, varying your sentence structure more will not only make your essay more engaging but also demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. Consider revising sentences that are overly long or improperly structured for clarity and impact.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of sentence structure, but it lacks variety and complexity. Most sentences are simple or compound, with limited use of complex or compound-complex sentences that could enhance the depth of your analysis and the flow of your argument.
Bad Example(s)
in this day and age the government has become more suffasticated and has started promoting more sustainable development into renewable energy industries as such they have given more funding to the research of nature friendly energy resources.
This sentence is overly long and lacks proper punctuation, making it difficult to follow. It should be broken down into shorter, clearer sentences.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss current actions and beliefs. However, there are moments where tense consistency could be improved to better align with the context of your statements.
Grammatical Errors
suffasticated
Correction:
sophisticated
sophisticated
The original word is a misspelling and does not convey the intended meaning.
in this day and age the government
Correction:
In this day and age, the government
In this day and age, the government
The sentence should start with a capital letter and include a comma after the introductory phrase for proper punctuation.
i believe
Correction:
I believe
I believe
The pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.
vapers
Correction:
vapors
vapors
The correct spelling for the context is 'vapors', referring to gaseous substances.