Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Problem/Solution Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Discuss the potential impact of busy work schedules on the quality of family relationships and suggest possible solutions.
It is necessary to keep work life balance for happy and satisfied life. Work schedules higly impact the quality of family relationships. If a person wants to keep his personal life peaceful then he should have to make balance between work and family life.
I am going to suggest some effectable solution by which person can stop the sufferings of relationships because of his overloaded work.
Firstly, a mental health of a person is very important for the survival in the work place as well as at home. so it is compulsory to finish an office work in the working hours and before signing the job contract person should clearify the timmings and work load with the high athourities. beside all this employ should make awear his office collegues about his family values. nevertheless man is very busy in the office and in true words he had no time for relations then he should take his beloved ones in his confidence by doing that they understand the situation of the individual and his relationships not suffered.
secondly, weekends are the best time to entertain the relations. whether u have to manage and planned holidays in proper way by doing that you can spend a luxurious time with your family. however it is really hard to give your holidays to the realtions but for the healthy realtionships this is very necessary. However strong and refreshing minds are good in managment so, spend a quality time with your buddies and family give a positive impact on your body.
conclusion of all the conversation is where there is a will there is a way. busy scedules are not really a hurdle in balancing between work and family life. so by proper managment of time we stop the sufferings of family relations.
I am going to suggest some effectable solution by which person can stop the sufferings of relationships because of his overloaded work.
Firstly, a mental health of a person is very important for the survival in the work place as well as at home. so it is compulsory to finish an office work in the working hours and before signing the job contract person should clearify the timmings and work load with the high athourities. beside all this employ should make awear his office collegues about his family values. nevertheless man is very busy in the office and in true words he had no time for relations then he should take his beloved ones in his confidence by doing that they understand the situation of the individual and his relationships not suffered.
secondly, weekends are the best time to entertain the relations. whether u have to manage and planned holidays in proper way by doing that you can spend a luxurious time with your family. however it is really hard to give your holidays to the realtions but for the healthy realtionships this is very necessary. However strong and refreshing minds are good in managment so, spend a quality time with your buddies and family give a positive impact on your body.
conclusion of all the conversation is where there is a will there is a way. busy scedules are not really a hurdle in balancing between work and family life. so by proper managment of time we stop the sufferings of family relations.
Submitted on March 14, 2024 at 7:01 AM
Overall Evaluation
5 Bands
Your essay addresses the question by highlighting the impact of work schedules on family relationships and suggesting solutions. However, there are several areas that need improvement. First, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure, including an introduction that directly addresses the question, followed by separate paragraphs for each main point, and a concise conclusion that summarizes your argument. Second, pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance clarity and professionalism (e.g., 'higly' should be 'highly', 'effectable' should be 'effective', 'awear' should be 'aware'). Third, your arguments could be strengthened by providing specific examples or evidence. Finally, consider expanding on your solutions by explaining how they can be implemented in practical terms. Overall, your essay has a good foundation but needs refinement in structure, language accuracy, and argument development.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved for better coherence. Band: 6.0
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, a mental health of a person is very important for the survival in the work place as well as at home.
This sentence effectively introduces a new paragraph and topic clearly.
Bad Sentence(s)
beside all this employ should make awear his office collegues about his family values.
Corrected Sentence:
Besides, the employee should make his office colleagues aware of his family values.
Besides, the employee should make his office colleagues aware of his family values.
Clarify the idea and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure each sentence supports the main idea of the paragraph.
Paragraphing
Paragraphs are identifiable but lack clear separation of ideas. Band: 5.5
Bad Sentence(s)
so it is compulsory to finish an office work in the working hours and before signing the job contract person should clearify the timmings and work load with the high athourities.
Corrected Sentence:
It is compulsory to finish office work within working hours. Before signing the job contract, a person should clarify the timings and workload with the higher authorities.
It is compulsory to finish office work within working hours. Before signing the job contract, a person should clarify the timings and workload with the higher authorities.
Split complex ideas into simpler, separate sentences for clarity.
Suggestions
Create more focused and coherent paragraphs by dedicating each one to a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to connect paragraphs logically.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes incorrect, affecting the clarity of your essay. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
nevertheless man is very busy in the office and in true words he had no time for relations then he should take his beloved ones in his confidence by doing that they understand the situation of the individual and his relationships not suffered.
Corrected Sentence:
Nevertheless, if a man is very busy in the office and truly has no time for relationships, he should communicate openly with his loved ones. By doing so, they can understand his situation and the relationships will not suffer.
Nevertheless, if a man is very busy in the office and truly has no time for relationships, he should communicate openly with his loved ones. By doing so, they can understand his situation and the relationships will not suffer.
Revise the sentence for clarity and correct use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by practicing with a variety of linking words and phrases. Ensure they are correctly used to connect ideas within and between sentences.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally set up the discussion well, but they could be more specific to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Good Sentence(s)
It is necessary to keep work life balance for happy and satisfied life.
This sentence effectively introduces the importance of balancing work and family life.
Bad Sentence(s)
I am going to suggest some effectable solution by which person can stop the sufferings of relationships because of his overloaded work.
Corrected Sentence:
I will suggest practical solutions to mitigate the impact of heavy workloads on family relationships.
I will suggest practical solutions to mitigate the impact of heavy workloads on family relationships.
Clarify and specify the solutions early on to guide the reader.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the main idea you will discuss in the paragraph. Use specific language and avoid vague terms.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, which could strengthen your argument by showing a broader understanding of the issue.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge potential objections to your points and address them with evidence or reasoning. This will make your argument more robust.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
Overall, you have made an effort to address the question, but your essay suffers from issues with clarity, development, and detail. Focusing on clearer expression, providing more specific examples, and avoiding grammatical errors would improve your score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the topic and provided suggestions, but your response could be more directly focused on the impacts and solutions.
Good example(s)
Firstly, a mental health of a person is very important for the survival in the work place as well as at home.
This sentence directly relates to the impact of work schedules on personal life and suggests the importance of mental health.
Bad Example(s)
beside all this employ should make awear his office collegues about his family values.
This sentence is unclear and contains several spelling and grammatical errors, reducing its effectiveness.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat developed but lacks depth and clarity in places. More detailed examples and clearer argumentation would strengthen it.
Good example(s)
weekends are the best time to entertain the relations.
This provides a clear suggestion for balancing work and family life.
Bad Example(s)
nevertheless man is very busy in the office and in true words he had no time for relations then he should take his beloved ones in his confidence by doing that they understand the situation of the individual and his relationships not suffered.
This sentence is convoluted and difficult to understand, weakening your argument.
Supporting Details
Your essay includes some supporting details, but they often lack specificity and concrete examples. More detailed evidence would enhance your argument.
Bad Example(s)
however it is really hard to give your holidays to the realtions but for the healthy realtionships this is very necessary.
This detail is vague and does not provide a compelling argument or example.
Conclusion
Your conclusion restates your position but could be stronger with a more definitive statement or summary of solutions.
Good example(s)
conclusion of all the conversation is where there is a will there is a way.
This sentence effectively summarizes the essay's optimistic viewpoint.
Lexical Resources
5.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair understanding of the topic but is hindered by numerous lexical inaccuracies and informal language that detracts from the overall professionalism and coherence expected in an IELTS Task 2 essay. There is a need for a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language to clearly express your ideas. Additionally, attention to spelling and grammatical structure will enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| higly | highly | Spelling error. |
| effectable | effective | Incorrect word usage; 'effectable' is not a standard word. |
| awear | aware | Spelling error. |
| athourities | authorities | Spelling error. |
| realtions | relations | Spelling error. |
| scedules | schedules | Spelling error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
relations 9 times | family ties, relationships, familial bonds |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| work-life balance The equilibrium between personal life and career work. | The equilibrium between personal life and career work. |
| prioritize Designate or treat (something) as more important than other things. | Designate or treat (something) as more important than other things. |
| time management The ability to use one's time effectively or productively. | The ability to use one's time effectively or productively. |
| mental well-being A state of comfort, health, or happiness. | A state of comfort, health, or happiness. |
| familial bonds The connections and relationships among family members. | The connections and relationships among family members. |
Out of Context
effectable solution
Corrected Sentence:
effective solution
effective solution
Discussing solutions for work-life balance.
Grammatical Range
4.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors, including misspellings, run-on sentences, and incorrect verb forms. These issues make it difficult to follow your argument at times. Focusing on sentence structure, proper verb tense usage, and proofreading for spelling errors could significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lacked variety and complexity, often following a simple structure that made the essay feel repetitive and less engaging.
Bad Example(s)
It is necessary to keep work life balance for happy and satisfied life.
This sentence is overly simplistic and could be made more complex by providing specific reasons or examples.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses was generally consistent, but there were instances where the incorrect tense made the meaning unclear.
Bad Example(s)
beside all this employ should make awear his office collegues about his family values.
The phrase 'should make awear' is a tense error and grammatically incorrect. It should be 'should make aware'.
Grammatical Errors
Work schedules higly impact the quality of family relationships.
Correction:
Work schedules highly impact the quality of family relationships.
Work schedules highly impact the quality of family relationships.
Misspelled word 'higly' should be 'highly'.
so it is compulsory to finish an office work in the working hours and before signing the job contract person should clearify the timmings and work load with the high athourities.
Correction:
So, it is compulsory to finish office work within working hours, and before signing the job contract, a person should clarify the timings and workload with the higher authorities.
So, it is compulsory to finish office work within working hours, and before signing the job contract, a person should clarify the timings and workload with the higher authorities.
Run-on sentence with multiple grammatical errors including misspellings ('clearify', 'timmings', 'athourities') and lack of punctuation.
nevertheless man is very busy in the office and in true words he had no time for relations then he should take his beloved ones in his confidence by doing that they understand the situation of the individual and his relationships not suffered.
Correction:
Nevertheless, if a man is very busy in the office and truly has no time for relationships, then he should confide in his loved ones so that they understand his situation and his relationships do not suffer.
Nevertheless, if a man is very busy in the office and truly has no time for relationships, then he should confide in his loved ones so that they understand his situation and his relationships do not suffer.
The original sentence is a run-on with unclear meaning due to lack of proper punctuation and awkward phrasing.