Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Comparison/Contrast Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you think mass media has more of a positive impact on society by keeping people informed and connected, or a negative impact by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction? Discuss both viewpoints and share your perspective.
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion. These venues not only provide a platform for various forms of entertainment but also contribute to the economic and social fabric of a community in several ways.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion. These venues not only provide a platform for various forms of entertainment but also contribute to the economic and social fabric of a community in several ways.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion. These venues not only provide a platform for various forms of entertainment but also contribute to the economic and social fabric of a community in several ways.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Submitted on March 19, 2024 at 2:58 PM
Overall Evaluation
4.5 Bands
Your essay provides a detailed analysis of the economic and social benefits of entertainment venues such as theaters and stadiums. However, it does not address the IELTS task question regarding the impact of mass media on society. To improve, ensure your essay directly responds to the question asked, discussing both the positive and negative impacts of mass media and providing your perspective. Focus on structuring your essay to include an introduction that paraphrases the question, body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarizes your perspective. This will help increase your relevance and coherence scores. Additionally, incorporating examples specific to mass media would strengthen your argument and provide a more focused analysis.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
Learn more about overall evaluation
Learn more about overall evaluation
4.5
Coherence & Cohesion
2 Bands
Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion in relation to the essay question. The content focuses on the impact of entertainment venues on local economies and communities, which is not relevant to the impacts of mass media. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the question, and use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay lacks direct relevance to the question asked about mass media's impact on society. Instead, it focuses on the role of entertainment venues in local economies and community cohesion. This deviation from the topic suggests a misunderstanding of the task or a misinterpretation of the question.
Bad Sentence(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media plays a significant role in both positively impacting society by keeping people informed and connected, and negatively by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction.
Mass media plays a significant role in both positively impacting society by keeping people informed and connected, and negatively by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction.
Refocus your essay to directly address the impact of mass media on society.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in your future essays, closely read and understand the question to ensure your essay directly addresses the topic. Use an outline to plan your essay, ensuring each paragraph contributes to your argument or discussion of the topic.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured in terms of discussing the impact of entertainment venues. However, this clarity is overshadowed by the irrelevance of the content to the essay question.
Suggestions
For creating more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure each paragraph directly contributes to answering the essay question. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the question, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that point.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay demonstrates a basic use of cohesive devices appropriate for linking ideas within paragraphs about entertainment venues. However, the effectiveness of these devices is diminished by the essay's lack of relevance to the question about mass media.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, focus on using them to build arguments or discussions that are directly relevant to the essay question. Practice using a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas, contrast viewpoints, and add information that supports your perspective on the topic.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences do not directly address the essay question regarding the impact of mass media on society. They focus on the role of entertainment venues, which is not relevant to the given question.
Bad Sentence(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media plays a crucial role in shaping public opinion and connecting people worldwide, though it also has its drawbacks.
Mass media plays a crucial role in shaping public opinion and connecting people worldwide, though it also has its drawbacks.
Rewrite the topic sentence to directly address the positive or negative impacts of mass media on society.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start by directly addressing the essay question. Make sure your topic sentence introduces the main idea of the paragraph and relates back to the overall argument of the essay.
Counter Points
You did not address contrasting viewpoints regarding the impact of mass media on society. The essay focuses solely on the benefits of entertainment venues, which does not align with the question's requirement to discuss both positive and negative impacts.
Suggestions
To effectively address and integrate counterarguments, first acknowledge the opposing viewpoint, then provide evidence or reasoning to contrast or refute it. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
2 Bands
Overall, your essay did not address the given question about mass media's impact on society. It is essential to stay on topic and directly respond to the question asked. Refocusing your essay to discuss the positive and negative impacts of mass media, including examples and a clear position, would significantly improve your task achievement.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Response to Question
Your essay does not address the question about the impact of mass media on society. Instead, it focuses on the role of entertainment venues in local economies and communities.
Bad Example(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
This sentence, while informative about entertainment venues, does not relate to the question about mass media's impact on society.
Development of Position
You did not develop a clear position regarding the impact of mass media, as the essay topic was not addressed.
Bad Example(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence shows an attempt to develop a point that is unrelated to the essay question.
Supporting Details
The examples and details provided are relevant to a discussion on entertainment venues but do not support any argument about the impact of mass media.
Bad Example(s)
For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
This detail is irrelevant to the question about mass media's impact.
Conclusion
Your conclusion was missing, as the essay did not address the required topic.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of entertainment venues and their impact on local economies and communities. However, it does not address the given question about the impact of mass media on society. To improve, focus on directly answering the question and incorporating relevant vocabulary related to mass media, its positive and negative impacts.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
entertainment venues 4 times | cultural centers, recreational facilities, amusement complexes |
local economy 3 times | regional economic health, community financial system |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| mass media Means of communication that reach large numbers of people, such as television, newspapers, and radio. | Means of communication that reach large numbers of people, such as television, newspapers, and radio. |
| misinformation False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. | False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. |
| social cohesion The willingness of members of a society to cooperate with each other in order to survive and prosper. | The willingness of members of a society to cooperate with each other in order to survive and prosper. |
| urban regeneration The revitalization of urban areas that have experienced decline, through means such as redevelopment or economic investment. | The revitalization of urban areas that have experienced decline, through means such as redevelopment or economic investment. |
| community fabric The complex interconnections and relationships that make up a community or society. | The complex interconnections and relationships that make up a community or society. |
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is solid with a good grasp of complex sentence structures and appropriate tense usage. However, to elevate your writing, consider varying your sentence openings and structures more frequently to avoid repetition and enhance the dynamism of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. However, the repetition of certain phrases and structures suggests a need for greater variety to enhance readability and engagement.
Good example(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively combines multiple elements to provide a comprehensive view, showcasing a complex structure.
Bad Example(s)
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, maintaining a clear narrative flow throughout the essay.
Good example(s)
This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs.
The present tense is used appropriately to describe ongoing or habitual actions, which is suitable for the context.
Bad Example(s)
Grammatical Errors
Correction: