Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Problem/Solution Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Indoor air pollution is often underestimated but can have serious health consequences. Examine the sources of indoor air pollution and suggest ways to improve indoor air quality.
The relentless nature of humans has pushed the planet to the brink of environmental collapse. One of the often ignored causes of the environmental issues is indoor air pollution, which is capable of inflicting serious health hazards. This essay will explore the sources leading to indoor air pollution and some measures to tackle it and improve air quality.
While developed countries are often attributed as the culprits behind climate challenges, the chief propagaters of indoor air pollution are the developing and underdeveloped nations. In the poorer regions of the world, burning coal, wood, and solid fuels indoors is a common practice for cooking and heating as the people cannot afford stoves or other heating appliances. This activity releases toxins in the air, polluting it as a consequence and rendering the underdeveloped areas of the world a dominant source of toxifying air.
The second reason behind this problem is the lack of knowledge and education about the gravity of climate change dilemma in the public of those unprivileged nations. The inhabitants of those countries are oblivious to the outputs of their methods and how they are going to impact them in the long run. Therefore, they continue to inflict the damage on the environment without being aware of it.
The first potential solution to this issue is to provide heating and cooking appliances to the public who cannot manage to buy them. This initiative should be taken by the respective governments of those developing nations, however, if their weak economies do not allow them, then the responsibility lies on the shoulders of the developed nations. Another possible step to address this challenge is to spread awareness and to educate the illiterate and unaware public of the world about the severity of climate change and why they need to be responsible and careful about how their actions can fuel this imminent catastrophe.
To conclude, while indoor air pollution is an overlooked cause of air pollution, there are ways we can deal with it. By means of collective efforts, individual efforts, and creating awareness on a global level, we can mitigate the looming danger that indoor air pollution poses.
While developed countries are often attributed as the culprits behind climate challenges, the chief propagaters of indoor air pollution are the developing and underdeveloped nations. In the poorer regions of the world, burning coal, wood, and solid fuels indoors is a common practice for cooking and heating as the people cannot afford stoves or other heating appliances. This activity releases toxins in the air, polluting it as a consequence and rendering the underdeveloped areas of the world a dominant source of toxifying air.
The second reason behind this problem is the lack of knowledge and education about the gravity of climate change dilemma in the public of those unprivileged nations. The inhabitants of those countries are oblivious to the outputs of their methods and how they are going to impact them in the long run. Therefore, they continue to inflict the damage on the environment without being aware of it.
The first potential solution to this issue is to provide heating and cooking appliances to the public who cannot manage to buy them. This initiative should be taken by the respective governments of those developing nations, however, if their weak economies do not allow them, then the responsibility lies on the shoulders of the developed nations. Another possible step to address this challenge is to spread awareness and to educate the illiterate and unaware public of the world about the severity of climate change and why they need to be responsible and careful about how their actions can fuel this imminent catastrophe.
To conclude, while indoor air pollution is an overlooked cause of air pollution, there are ways we can deal with it. By means of collective efforts, individual efforts, and creating awareness on a global level, we can mitigate the looming danger that indoor air pollution poses.
Submitted on July 21, 2024 at 10:25 PM
Overall Evaluation
7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic of indoor air pollution, highlighting its sources and proposing solutions to improve air quality. Your introduction sets a strong foundation for the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly wraps up the essay, reinforcing the need for collective and individual efforts to mitigate this issue. However, your essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by including examples from developed countries, as indoor air pollution is not exclusive to developing and underdeveloped nations. Additionally, incorporating more specific examples of indoor pollutants (e.g., volatile organic compounds, mold, etc.) and their health impacts could strengthen your argument. Your solution section is constructive, but including more innovative or technological solutions could provide a broader perspective on how to tackle the issue. Overall, your essay is well-structured and coherent, with a clear progression of ideas. Improving on the diversity of examples and solutions could enhance the depth of your analysis.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7.5
Coherence & Cohesion
7 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively exploring the sources of indoor air pollution and suggesting solutions. The progression from identifying the problem to discussing solutions is smooth, earning a score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
This essay will explore the sources leading to indoor air pollution and some measures to tackle it and improve air quality.
It effectively sets the stage for the essay, clearly outlining what the reader can expect.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider integrating more transitional phrases that connect your ideas more explicitly from one paragraph to the next. This will help in reinforcing the flow of arguments.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the issue. The structure facilitates an easy follow-through of ideas, deserving a score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
The first potential solution to this issue is to provide heating and cooking appliances to the public who cannot manage to buy them.
This sentence begins a solution-focused paragraph effectively, directly addressing the problem identified earlier.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and ends with a sentence that summarizes or reflects on the paragraph’s main idea. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, facilitating a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay. However, there's room for improvement in varying your cohesive devices for a more sophisticated writing style, earning a score of 7.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Another possible step to address this challenge is to spread awareness and to educate the illiterate and unaware public of the world about the severity of climate change and why they need to be responsible and careful about how their actions can fuel this imminent catastrophe.
This sentence effectively uses cohesive devices ('Another', 'to address this challenge') to introduce a new solution while maintaining the flow of the essay.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider variety of expressions, such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Moreover' for adding information, and 'Consequently', 'As a result' for showing cause and effect. This will add sophistication to your writing.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, guiding the reader through the sources and solutions of indoor air pollution.
Good Sentence(s)
The relentless nature of humans has pushed the planet to the brink of environmental collapse.
This sentence effectively sets the tone for the essay, highlighting the gravity of environmental issues including indoor air pollution.
The first potential solution to this issue is to provide heating and cooking appliances to the public who cannot manage to buy them.
This sentence clearly introduces a solution, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's structure.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and ensure each topic sentence links back to the essay question or thesis statement.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing instead on outlining the problem and suggesting solutions.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay lacks sentences that directly address counterpoints.
Corrected Sentence:
While providing appliances and education are viable solutions, critics might argue that the implementation could be challenging due to economic constraints. Recognizing these challenges is crucial for a balanced discussion.
While providing appliances and education are viable solutions, critics might argue that the implementation could be challenging due to economic constraints. Recognizing these challenges is crucial for a balanced discussion.
Consider including a paragraph that acknowledges potential criticisms or alternative views on the solutions you propose.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common objections to your arguments or potential limitations of your proposed solutions. Acknowledge these points and then refute or mitigate them with evidence or further reasoning.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-structured, with a clear argument, relevant examples, and logical solutions. To improve, consider incorporating more specific data or case studies to support your points. Additionally, a more impactful conclusion could further enhance your essay's effectiveness.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question effectively by identifying sources of indoor air pollution and suggesting measures to improve air quality. Your essay directly tackles the task.
Good example(s)
In the poorer regions of the world, burning coal, wood, and solid fuels indoors is a common practice for cooking and heating.
This sentence effectively highlights a major source of indoor air pollution, directly answering the question.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and progresses logically through the essay. You've made your point strong by illustrating the severity of indoor air pollution and proposing viable solutions.
Good example(s)
Another possible step to address this challenge is to spread awareness and to educate the illiterate and unaware public of the world about the severity of climate change.
This sentence not only proposes a solution but also strengthens your position by addressing the root cause of the problem.
Supporting Details
Your examples and explanations are relevant and support your argument well. However, including more specific studies or statistics could further strengthen your essay.
Good example(s)
This activity releases toxins in the air, polluting it as a consequence and rendering the underdeveloped areas of the world a dominant source of toxifying air.
This detail supports your argument by explaining how the practice of burning solid fuels contributes to indoor air pollution.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reiterates the importance of collective and individual efforts. It could be enhanced by a stronger call to action or by highlighting the potential benefits of improving indoor air quality.
Good example(s)
By means of collective efforts, individual efforts, and creating awareness on a global level, we can mitigate the looming danger that indoor air pollution poses.
This sentence effectively wraps up your essay, emphasizing the solution and the collective responsibility.
Lexical Resources
7 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of indoor air pollution, effectively conveying the seriousness of the issue and potential solutions. However, there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision to achieve a more impactful expression.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
nations 5 times | countries, states, territories, regions |
pollution 4 times | contamination, impurity, defilement |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| environmental degradation The deterioration of the environment through depletion of resources such as air, water, and soil; the destruction of ecosystems and the extinction of wildlife. | The deterioration of the environment through depletion of resources such as air, water, and soil; the destruction of ecosystems and the extinction of wildlife. |
| sustainable energy solutions Energy sources and systems that are renewable, reliable, and capable of supplying ongoing energy needs without causing environmental harm. | Energy sources and systems that are renewable, reliable, and capable of supplying ongoing energy needs without causing environmental harm. |
| awareness campaigns Organized efforts to inform and educate the public on specific issues to bring about behavioral change and support for initiatives. | Organized efforts to inform and educate the public on specific issues to bring about behavioral change and support for initiatives. |
| toxic emissions Harmful substances released into the air, water, or soil, which can cause health problems for humans and damage to the environment. | Harmful substances released into the air, water, or soil, which can cause health problems for humans and damage to the environment. |
| mitigate To make less severe, serious, or painful; to lessen the impact or intensity of something. | To make less severe, serious, or painful; to lessen the impact or intensity of something. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, contributing to a clear and professional presentation of your ideas. You maintain subject-verb agreement, use articles correctly, and your sentence boundaries are clear, avoiding run-on sentences or fragments.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which enhances the readability and sophistication of your argument.
Good example(s)
This activity releases toxins in the air, polluting it as a consequence and rendering the underdeveloped areas of the world a dominant source of toxifying air.
This sentence effectively combines multiple clauses in a complex structure, clearly conveying the cause and effect relationship.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is consistent and appropriate throughout the essay, maintaining a formal and academic tone.
Good example(s)
This essay will explore the sources leading to indoor air pollution and some measures to tackle it and improve air quality.
The future tense is correctly used here to outline the structure and purpose of your essay.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay