Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Comparison/Contrast Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: Some people argue that the movement of rural populations to urban areas is beneficial for economic growth and personal opportunities, while others worry about the negative effects on rural communities and traditions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration.

Moving from rural regions to urban regions has become a common practice over the past decade. While a group of people believe that this activity brings economic as well as personal good with it, others think that it has negative repercussions on certain socities. This essay will shed light on both negative and positive aspects of increasing migrations from villages to cities.

To begin with, there are some undeniable benefits of inter-city moves. One of those advantages is the career growth opportunities available in big cities, which are not present in rural areas. To be specific, all the companies and industries are located in metropolitan regions, pooling all the lucrative job opportunites in the said areas. That being said, if a well-educated and qualified person wishes to build his career, his best bet is to migrate from his hometown to an urban city. Not only that, but there are also much more networking options present in a city, which is crucial for professional grooming. Other than that, the second pro of shifting to a large city is the personal growth. With inhabitants belonging to different cultures and backgrounds, large cities provide much more exposure for an individual to learn, adapt, and grow. This is something that the countryside lacks, forcing individuals to leave their towns.

As far as the disadvantages are concerned, those are also accociated with rapidly increasing urbanization. The most dominant con of this activity appears to be overcrowding cities, resulting from boosting population in those places. Because of the number of city-dwellers going off the chart, the resources are depleting, which is rendering lives difficult in cities. To be particular, shortages of water, electricity, resedential spaces are spiking day-by-day. Another negative impact is the loss of traditions that adorn small town lives, which can only stay alive if there are people who follow them. However, more and more families are shifting from their homes in the outskirts to build their lives in modern towns; therefore, the age-old norms and cultures are not just being left behind, but also forgotten. This is another concerning loss of village-to-city movements.

To sum up, there are both positive and negative impacts linked with fastly spreading urbanization. It is an important step, especially for the youth, in order to level up in their lives, both professional and personal, on the other hand, it has resulted in scarcity of basic facilites in the cosmopolitans, along with lost values and weakened beliefs. Nonetheless, biding goodbyes to hometowns and moving to an urban area has become a necessary act to advance in life.
Submitted on August 9, 2024 at 10:22 PM

Overall Evaluation

7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively discusses the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration, providing a balanced view on the topic. You have structured your essay well, with clear paragraphs for introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, which is crucial for coherence and cohesion in IELTS Writing Task 2. Your use of examples to illustrate points about career growth, personal development, overcrowding, and loss of traditions strengthens your argument. However, to improve your band score, consider enhancing the range and accuracy of your vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your points more compelling. Also, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure your sentences are varied in structure to demonstrate linguistic capability. Including a more detailed analysis or comparison could further enrich your discussion. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with room for linguistic and analytical improvement.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Bands

In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are well-organized, each focusing on either the benefits or drawbacks. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. Overall, the logical flow of ideas is strong. Band: 8.0

Good Sentence(s)

Not only that, but there are also much more networking options present in a city, which is crucial for professional grooming.
This sentence effectively highlights a specific advantage of urban migration, contributing to the logical flow by providing a concrete example.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression, consider introducing counterarguments within the same paragraph to directly contrast the advantages and disadvantages. This could provide a more nuanced perspective and strengthen the argumentative structure of your essay.

Paragraphing

Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each dedicated to a specific aspect of the topic. The use of topic sentences is effective in guiding the reader through your argument. Band: 8.5

Good Sentence(s)

To begin with, there are some undeniable benefits of inter-city moves.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph topic, signaling to the reader that the focus will be on the benefits of migration.

Suggestions

For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, try to link each advantage or disadvantage more explicitly to its impact on individuals and communities. This can help in reinforcing the relevance of each point to the overall argument.

Cohesive Devices

Your essay makes good use of cohesive devices, effectively linking ideas and paragraphs. However, there is room for more sophisticated use of these devices to enhance the overall coherence. Band: 7.5

Good Sentence(s)

To be specific, all the companies and industries are located in metropolitan regions, pooling all the lucrative job opportunities in the said areas.
This sentence effectively uses specification ('To be specific') to narrow down the discussion, enhancing the coherence of the argument about job opportunities.

Suggestions

To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transitions that show cause and effect, contrast, and comparison. This can make the relationships between your ideas even clearer to the reader.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, guiding the reader through the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration clearly.

Good Sentence(s)

One of those advantages is the career growth opportunities available in big cities, which are not present in rural areas.
This sentence effectively introduces the discussion on career opportunities in urban areas, a key advantage of rural-to-urban migration.
As far as the disadvantages are concerned, those are also associated with rapidly increasing urbanization.
This sentence smoothly transitions the essay to discuss the disadvantages, clearly indicating a shift in focus.

Suggestions

To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey the idea you will discuss. Avoid vague statements to ensure the reader knows exactly what to expect in each paragraph.

Counter Points

You have handled contrasting viewpoints well by dedicating separate paragraphs to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration. This structure allows for a balanced discussion.

Good Sentence(s)

Not only that, but there are also much more networking options present in a city, which is crucial for professional grooming.
This sentence effectively highlights a specific advantage of urban life, addressing potential counterpoints by emphasizing the unique opportunities cities offer.

Suggestions

To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, consider directly acknowledging potential criticisms of each viewpoint before offering evidence or reasoning to counter these criticisms. This approach can make your argument more persuasive and nuanced.

Task Achievement

7.5 Bands
Overall, you've done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-balanced, presenting both sides of the argument effectively. The main area for improvement is in providing more specific examples or data to support your claims. Additionally, your conclusion could be enhanced by offering a more decisive viewpoint or suggesting potential solutions to the issues raised.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You effectively addressed the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration. Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic.

Good example(s)

One of those advantages is the career growth opportunities available in big cities, which are not present in rural areas.
This sentence clearly outlines a major advantage of urban migration, directly responding to the essay question.
The most dominant con of this activity appears to be overcrowding cities, resulting from boosting population in those places.
It effectively highlights a significant disadvantage, providing a balanced view.

Development of Position

Your argument is clear and well-structured. You've managed to maintain a balanced discussion throughout the essay, which strengthens your position.

Good example(s)

Not only that, but there are also much more networking options present in a city, which is crucial for professional grooming.
This sentence adds depth to your argument about career opportunities, showing good development of your position.

Supporting Details

Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. However, incorporating more specific examples or data could enhance your argument's credibility.

Good example(s)

With inhabitants belonging to different cultures and backgrounds, large cities provide much more exposure for an individual to learn, adapt, and grow.
This detail effectively supports the advantage of personal growth in urban areas.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points but could be strengthened by suggesting a resolution or future outlook on the issue.

Good example(s)

Nonetheless, biding goodbyes to hometowns and moving to an urban area has become a necessary act to advance in life.
It wraps up the essay by reiterating the necessity of urban migration for advancement, which is a strong stance.

Lexical Resources

7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, effectively conveying arguments for both sides of rural-to-urban migration. You've managed to use technical terms and idiomatic language that enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your arguments. However, there's room for diversification in your word choice to avoid repetition and to further enrich your lexical resource.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
cities 5 times
metropolitan areas, urban centers, towns
opportunities 3 times
prospects, possibilities, openings
negative 3 times
detrimental, adverse, unfavorable

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
Urbanization The process of making an area more urban.
Metropolitan Relating to a large city and its surrounding areas.
Demographic shift A change in the characteristics of a population over time.
Cultural assimilation The process by which a person or a group's language and/or culture come to resemble those of another group.
Infrastructure The basic physical and organizational structures and facilities (e.g., buildings, roads, power supplies) needed for the operation of a society or enterprise.
Socioeconomic Relating to or concerned with the interaction of social and economic factors.

Grammatical Range

7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with only minor errors mostly related to spelling. Your sentence structure is varied and complex, contributing to an engaging and well-articulated argument. Paying attention to spelling and the correct use of adverbs will further enhance your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences that enhance the readability and coherence of your arguments.

Good example(s)

Not only that, but there are also much more networking options present in a city, which is crucial for professional grooming.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to link two related ideas, enhancing the flow and depth of your argument.

Tense Usage

Your use of tenses throughout the essay was consistent and correct, effectively matching the context and time frames of the actions described.

Good example(s)

That being said, if a well-educated and qualified person wishes to build his career, his best bet is to migrate from his hometown to an urban city.
This sentence correctly uses the present tense to discuss a general, ongoing situation, which is appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Errors

accociated
Correction:
associated
Spelling mistake.
resedential spaces
Correction:
residential spaces
Spelling mistake.
fastly spreading urbanization
Correction:
rapidly spreading urbanization
'Fastly' is not a standard adverb, 'rapidly' is the correct form.