Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you agree or disagree that governments should provide financial incentives to encourage businesses to develop and adopt renewable energy technologies?
An issue as massive as climate change demands collective efforts. While the work on renewable energy sources is ongoing, we still have a long way to go. An impactful way of mitigating environmental threats is if businesses get funding by the governments to create renewable energy technologies, and to utilize those technologies.
The first major step towards the goal is to research and develop more and more alternative energy technologies. For that, financial aid in form of incentives from the governments can help businesses conduct the research and create machinery that can utilize renewable energy sources for our energy needs. There are many sources of alternative energy, that have huge potential, but have not been researched enough, or that do not have the right machinery to be utilized, because of the lack of funding. These issues can be resolved with help from the governments. If more and more companies start working on the development of the required technology, it can prove to be an effective way to slow down global warming.
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines. This step will motivate more and more businesses to prefer utilizing alternative energy sources over conventional sources of energy. Furthermore, it will also positively impact the manufacturing industry of alternative energy technology, fulfilling their financial requirements, thereby creating knock-on effects.
To weaken the looming danger of environmental catastrophe, strong initiatives and thoughtful plannings are required. TO encourage the companies to invent and adopt the means of alternative resources for energy, governments should step up and provide them with the financial boost they need.
The first major step towards the goal is to research and develop more and more alternative energy technologies. For that, financial aid in form of incentives from the governments can help businesses conduct the research and create machinery that can utilize renewable energy sources for our energy needs. There are many sources of alternative energy, that have huge potential, but have not been researched enough, or that do not have the right machinery to be utilized, because of the lack of funding. These issues can be resolved with help from the governments. If more and more companies start working on the development of the required technology, it can prove to be an effective way to slow down global warming.
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines. This step will motivate more and more businesses to prefer utilizing alternative energy sources over conventional sources of energy. Furthermore, it will also positively impact the manufacturing industry of alternative energy technology, fulfilling their financial requirements, thereby creating knock-on effects.
To weaken the looming danger of environmental catastrophe, strong initiatives and thoughtful plannings are required. TO encourage the companies to invent and adopt the means of alternative resources for energy, governments should step up and provide them with the financial boost they need.
Submitted on July 25, 2024 at 10:13 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the question by presenting a clear argument in favor of government financial incentives for businesses to develop and adopt renewable energy technologies. Your structure is coherent, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, and each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. You provide relevant examples and reasons to support your viewpoint, which strengthens your essay. However, to further improve, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement. Additionally, including counterarguments and refuting them could make your argument more robust. Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure clarity in your expression. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a persuasive argument. With refinement in language and argumentation, your essay could achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with each paragraph logically flowing into the next. The use of transition words like 'Another efficient way' helps guide the reader through your argument. However, to improve, consider explicitly linking back to your thesis at the end of each paragraph to reinforce the overall argument and ensure that all parts of your essay are clearly connected to your main point.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively arguing the case for government incentives in renewable energy development. The progression from the importance of research and development to the encouragement of adoption through incentives is well articulated. Overall, your essay maintains a coherent argument throughout, meriting a band score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines.
This sentence effectively transitions from the need for development to the importance of adoption, showing a logical progression in your argument.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider explicitly stating your main argument in the introduction and summarizing key points in the conclusion. This will reinforce your argument's structure and make your stance clearer to the reader.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, followed by paragraphs on research and development, adoption incentives, and a conclusive statement on the necessity of government action. This structure is effective and would likely score around 8.0.
Suggestions
For more focused paragraphs, ensure each one starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph's main idea. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, linking ideas smoothly and contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. Phrases like 'Another efficient way' and 'Furthermore' help guide the reader through your argument, supporting a score of around 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Furthermore, it will also positively impact the manufacturing industry of alternative energy technology, fulfilling their financial requirements, thereby creating knock-on effects.
This use of 'Furthermore' effectively introduces additional benefits of government incentives, reinforcing the argument's strength.
Suggestions
To further improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying them more and using synonyms to avoid repetition. Additionally, devices that contrast or compare ideas can help highlight the nuances in your argument.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively outline the main ideas of each paragraph, guiding the reader through your argument in favor of government incentives for renewable energy technologies.
Good Sentence(s)
An impactful way of mitigating environmental threats is if businesses get funding by the governments to create renewable energy technologies, and to utilize those technologies.
This sentence clearly introduces the essay's main argument, setting a strong foundation for the discussion.
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines.
It effectively transitions to discussing the benefits of government incentives for businesses that adopt renewable energy, reinforcing the essay's argument.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main argument. Ensure it aligns with your overall thesis and provides a logical progression of ideas.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing solely on supporting the argument for government incentives.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay lacks a direct engagement with potential counterarguments.
Corrected Sentence:
While some may argue that government funding could be better spent elsewhere, the long-term benefits of investing in renewable energy technologies far outweigh the initial costs.
While some may argue that government funding could be better spent elsewhere, the long-term benefits of investing in renewable energy technologies far outweigh the initial costs.
Consider including a paragraph that acknowledges and refutes common counterpoints to strengthen your argument.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common opposing viewpoints and directly refute them with evidence and logical reasoning. This will strengthen your argument by showing you have considered various perspectives.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you've done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-structured, with a clear argument that is relevant to the question. To improve, consider incorporating more specific examples and data to back up your claims. Additionally, a more compelling conclusion could enhance the overall impact of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You effectively addressed the question, clearly agreeing that governments should provide financial incentives for renewable energy development. Your stance is consistent and well-expressed throughout the essay.
Good example(s)
An impactful way of mitigating environmental threats is if businesses get funding by the governments to create renewable energy technologies, and to utilize those technologies.
This sentence directly answers the question, showcasing your agreement with the statement and setting the tone for your argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is coherent and persuasive. You've made your point clear by outlining how financial incentives can aid in both the development and adoption of renewable energy technologies.
Good example(s)
If more and more companies start working on the development of the required technology, it can prove to be an effective way to slow down global warming.
This sentence effectively develops your position by linking financial incentives to a broader environmental goal.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant, but you could strengthen your essay by including specific examples of successful incentives or data to support your claims.
Good example(s)
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines.
This detail supports your argument by providing a clear example of how incentives could work.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your stance effectively, but adding a call to action or emphasizing the urgency of the issue could provide more punch.
Good example(s)
To weaken the looming danger of environmental catastrophe, strong initiatives and thoughtful plannings are required.
This sentence effectively summarizes the necessity of government action, aligning with your essay's thesis.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of renewable energy and government incentives. You effectively communicate your ideas and arguments, making a persuasive case for government funding to support renewable energy technologies. However, there's room for diversification in your word choice to avoid repetition and to enrich your lexical resource further.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
financial incentives 3 times | monetary rewards, fiscal incentives, economic encouragements |
governments 5 times | authorities, state bodies, public sector entities |
renewable energy technologies 3 times | alternative energy solutions, sustainable energy systems |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| mitigate make less severe, serious, or painful | make less severe, serious, or painful |
| collective efforts actions taken together by a group | actions taken together by a group |
| environmental catastrophe a severe and sudden natural disaster causing great damage to the environment | a severe and sudden natural disaster causing great damage to the environment |
| knock-on effects secondary, indirect, or cumulative effects | secondary, indirect, or cumulative effects |
| sustainable able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without exhausting natural resources or causing severe ecological damage | able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without exhausting natural resources or causing severe ecological damage |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, showing a solid understanding of sentence structure, tense usage, and the mechanics of writing. You've managed to convey complex ideas with clarity and precision, which is crucial for a high-scoring IELTS essay. There are no significant grammatical errors to detract from the readability or professionalism of your work. Keep focusing on maintaining this level of grammatical accuracy in your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences demonstrate a good variety and complexity, effectively contributing to a clear and structured argument. You've managed to use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to convey your points, which enhances the readability and effectiveness of your essay.
Good example(s)
Another efficient way the environmental issues can be dealt with, is if governments provide financial incentives to industries which use those renewable energy technologies, like installing solar panels or wind turbines.
This sentence is a good example because it effectively combines a conditional clause with a descriptive statement, showcasing your ability to construct complex sentences that add depth to your argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and correct. You've appropriately used the present tense to discuss current issues and general truths, which is suitable for this type of analytical and argumentative writing.
Good example(s)
An impactful way of mitigating environmental threats is if businesses get funding by the governments to create renewable energy technologies, and to utilize those technologies.
This example illustrates your consistent use of the present tense to discuss a general action or policy, aligning well with the essay's focus on current and ongoing issues.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay