Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of building more dams and reservoirs to manage water resources and provide hydroelectric power.
The construction of more dams and reservoirs is a serious issue. Although building dams is quite benificial to manage water resurces and also provide hydroelectricity which is a renewable source of energy, it also has potential drawbacks including social and environmental impacts. This essay will examine the significant advantages and disadvantages.
One of the primary benefits of dams is to manage water resouces. During the periods of heavy rainfall, the water resources are well managed, thus preventing floods. Also, in the dry season, water is stored in reservoirs which is used for irrigation, drinking and other purposes. Hydroelectric power which is a renewable and clean source of energy is produced which replaces the use of fossil fuels which can be exhausted.
The major drawback of building dam is the environmental impact. When dams are built, there are high chances of species extinction due to the submersion of extensive areas. This not only affects the wildlife but also the plant species. Their habitat is destroyed and animals are forced to either leave or to die, thus resulting in their extinction. Additionally, due to the construction of dams, there is displacement of local communities to other places. Whenever the topic of large dam projects is discussed, thousands of people are compelled to leave their homes and lands and resettlement is very traumatic and stressful. The cost of constructing a dam is very high thus affecting the economy of the country.
In conclusion, while dams and reservoirs have huge benefits in terms of managing water resources and renewable source of power, the social and economical costs cannot be overlooked. Hence, a thorough examination should be done before building a dam and the necessary assessments must be conducted before proceeding keeping in mind the social and environmental effects.
One of the primary benefits of dams is to manage water resouces. During the periods of heavy rainfall, the water resources are well managed, thus preventing floods. Also, in the dry season, water is stored in reservoirs which is used for irrigation, drinking and other purposes. Hydroelectric power which is a renewable and clean source of energy is produced which replaces the use of fossil fuels which can be exhausted.
The major drawback of building dam is the environmental impact. When dams are built, there are high chances of species extinction due to the submersion of extensive areas. This not only affects the wildlife but also the plant species. Their habitat is destroyed and animals are forced to either leave or to die, thus resulting in their extinction. Additionally, due to the construction of dams, there is displacement of local communities to other places. Whenever the topic of large dam projects is discussed, thousands of people are compelled to leave their homes and lands and resettlement is very traumatic and stressful. The cost of constructing a dam is very high thus affecting the economy of the country.
In conclusion, while dams and reservoirs have huge benefits in terms of managing water resources and renewable source of power, the social and economical costs cannot be overlooked. Hence, a thorough examination should be done before building a dam and the necessary assessments must be conducted before proceeding keeping in mind the social and environmental effects.
Submitted on June 30, 2024 at 2:23 PM
Overall Evaluation
7 Bands
Your essay effectively discusses the advantages and disadvantages of building more dams and reservoirs, presenting a balanced view. You have structured your essay well, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and you have successfully elaborated on both the benefits and drawbacks in separate paragraphs, which enhances the coherence of your argument. Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and suggests the need for careful consideration before proceeding with dam construction, which reflects critical thinking. To improve, consider incorporating specific examples or case studies to support your arguments, which would add depth to your analysis. Also, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and aim to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses the task with a well-reasoned argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with each paragraph focusing on a clear main idea as introduced by your topic sentences. The structure of your essay logically progresses from discussing benefits to addressing drawbacks. However, to improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the advantages and disadvantages. Additionally, directly comparing the impacts of dams on both the environment and society within the same sections could enhance the cohesion of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively balancing the discussion of advantages and disadvantages of building dams. Overall, the organization is coherent, leading to a well-rounded argument. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
Hydroelectric power which is a renewable and clean source of energy is produced which replaces the use of fossil fuels which can be exhausted.
This sentence effectively highlights a major advantage of dam construction, linking it to broader environmental benefits and energy sustainability.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to be discussed. This will prepare the reader for what is to come and ensure a smoother transition between points.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all distinct, facilitating an easy-to-follow argument. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
The major drawback of building dam is the environmental impact.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph discussing the disadvantages of dam construction, clearly signaling a shift in focus from advantages to disadvantages.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph elaborates on the point introduced by its topic sentence without diverging into unrelated details. This will help maintain clarity and coherence throughout.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively links ideas and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is room for more varied use of these devices to enhance the flow. Band: 7.0
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, due to the construction of dams, there is displacement of local communities to other places.
The use of 'Additionally' smoothly transitions the reader from one disadvantage to another, maintaining the flow of the argument.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases, such as 'Furthermore' for adding information, 'On the other hand' for contrasting points, and 'As a result' for showing consequences. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the direction of your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
One of the primary benefits of dams is to manage water resources.
This sentence clearly introduces the advantage of dams in managing water resources, setting a focused topic for the paragraph.
The major drawback of building dam is the environmental impact.
It effectively signals a shift to discussing the disadvantages, specifically focusing on environmental impacts.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey the argument or perspective you will detail in the paragraph.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints by presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of building more dams and reservoirs. However, the integration of these viewpoints could be enhanced by directly comparing or contrasting them within the same paragraph to strengthen the argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
The cost of constructing a dam is very high thus affecting the economy of the country.
Corrected Sentence:
Although the initial cost of constructing a dam is high, potentially affecting the country's economy, the long-term benefits of renewable hydroelectric power can offset these costs and contribute to economic stability.
Although the initial cost of constructing a dam is high, potentially affecting the country's economy, the long-term benefits of renewable hydroelectric power can offset these costs and contribute to economic stability.
To improve, you could directly contrast this economic disadvantage with the long-term economic benefits of hydroelectric power, providing a more nuanced view.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the opposing viewpoint directly and provide evidence or reasoning to contrast or refute it. This can be done by using transitional phrases like 'however,' 'on the other hand,' or 'despite this,' to smoothly integrate contrasting views into your argument.
Task Achievement
7 Bands
Overall, you have done a good job of addressing the task by presenting a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of building more dams and reservoirs. To improve, consider incorporating more detailed examples or evidence to support your points and make your argument more compelling. Additionally, enhancing the conclusion with a stronger call to action or solution could leave a more lasting impression on the reader.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question directly by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of building more dams and reservoirs. Your essay provided a balanced view on the topic.
Good example(s)
During the periods of heavy rainfall, the water resources are well managed, thus preventing floods.
This sentence clearly highlights a significant advantage of building dams, directly responding to the essay question.
The cost of constructing a dam is very high thus affecting the economy of the country.
This sentence effectively introduces a critical disadvantage, showing your ability to discuss both sides of the argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and presents a balanced view, but it could be strengthened with more detailed analysis or examples to support each point.
Good example(s)
Hydroelectric power which is a renewable and clean source of energy is produced which replaces the use of fossil fuels which can be exhausted.
This sentence shows good development of position by linking the advantage of hydroelectric power to broader environmental benefits.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. However, adding more specific examples or data could enhance the essay's persuasiveness.
Good example(s)
Whenever the topic of large dam projects is discussed, thousands of people are compelled to leave their homes and lands and resettlement is very traumatic and stressful.
This detail effectively supports the disadvantage concerning the social impact of dam construction.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well but could be more impactful by suggesting a way forward or a solution to the outlined problems.
Good example(s)
Hence, a thorough examination should be done before building a dam and the necessary assessments must be conducted before proceeding keeping in mind the social and environmental effects.
This sentence effectively concludes the essay by suggesting a balanced and cautious approach to dam construction.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate usage of technical terms related to dam construction and its impacts. However, to enhance your lexical resource score, consider varying your language more to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
dam 5 times | barrage, hydroelectric facility, water barrier |
environmental 3 times | ecological, natural |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| hydroelectric facility A complex that uses water to generate electricity. | A complex that uses water to generate electricity. |
| ecological impact The effect of human activities and structures on the environment. | The effect of human activities and structures on the environment. |
| biodiversity The variety of life in a particular habitat or ecosystem. | The variety of life in a particular habitat or ecosystem. |
| sustainable development Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. | Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. |
| resettlement The process of relocating people to a new area and providing them with new housing. | The process of relocating people to a new area and providing them with new housing. |
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is quite strong with only minor errors, primarily in spelling and article use. Paying attention to these details can further enhance the quality of your writing. Your sentence structures are varied and effectively contribute to the coherence of your essay, and your consistent use of tense supports a clear and professional tone.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences, which contributes to the clarity and coherence of your argument.
Good example(s)
During the periods of heavy rainfall, the water resources are well managed, thus preventing floods.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to link cause and effect, enhancing the readability of your argument.
Additionally, due to the construction of dams, there is displacement of local communities to other places.
The use of 'Additionally' at the beginning and the overall structure provide a clear, logical progression of ideas.
Tense Usage
The use of tenses in your essay is consistent and correct, maintaining a formal and academic tone throughout the piece.
Good example(s)
Hydroelectric power which is a renewable and clean source of energy is produced which replaces the use of fossil fuels which can be exhausted.
This sentence correctly uses the present simple tense to describe general truths and ongoing situations, which is appropriate for academic writing.
Grammatical Errors
Although building dams is quite benificial to manage water resurces
Correction:
Although building dams is quite beneficial to manage water resources
Although building dams is quite beneficial to manage water resources
Spelling errors: 'beneficial' and 'resources' were misspelled.
The major drawback of building dam is the environmental impact.
Correction:
The major drawback of building a dam is the environmental impact.
The major drawback of building a dam is the environmental impact.
Missing article: 'a' before 'dam' is necessary as it refers to any dam in general.