Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Natural disasters can have long-lasting effects on both the environment and public health. Explore the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being.
Over the past couple of decades, owing to the rapid climate change, the world has encountered many natural disasters. These catastrophes can have long-term impacts on our environment as well as public safety. This essay will explore how disaster control can affect environmental preservation and public well-being.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resilience, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resilience, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
Submitted on July 26, 2024 at 1:12 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. You have provided clear examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument. However, to improve your essay and potentially increase your score, consider the following: 1. Introduce a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic to demonstrate language proficiency. 2. Include more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments, which could make your essay more convincing. 3. Work on the structure of your essay to ensure there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically flow into the next. 4. Consider discussing potential solutions or strategies for disaster resilience and environmental conservation in more detail. This could add depth to your essay. Overall, your essay is well-organized and addresses the task prompt effectively, but there is room for enhancement in terms of depth and detail.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively exploring the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. The introduction sets a solid foundation for the discussion, and each paragraph builds upon the last to deepen the analysis. Overall, the organization is coherent and purposeful, deserving a score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the multifaceted impact of natural disasters on communities, demonstrating a clear and comprehensive understanding of the essay topic.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in future essays, consider incorporating more explicit transitional phrases that connect each paragraph's main idea to the overall thesis. Additionally, integrating counterarguments and their refutations could further strengthen the logical flow.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all distinct, facilitating an easy and logical progression of ideas. This aspect of your essay merits a score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph topic, clearly signaling the focus on environmental impacts, which enhances the overall clarity and structure of the paragraph.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, try to ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is explicitly stated in the topic sentence. Then, use the following sentences to develop this idea with examples, evidence, and analysis. Concluding sentences can also help to reinforce the paragraph’s main point and link it to the essay’s overall argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively links ideas and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there's room for improvement in varying your cohesive devices to avoid repetition and enhance readability. Your current use of cohesive devices would likely score around 7.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
The use of 'Therefore' effectively signals a conclusion drawn from the preceding argument, clearly linking cause and effect which enhances the coherence of your argument.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transitions, such as 'Moreover' for adding information, 'However' for contrasting points, and 'For instance' for providing examples. This will not only avoid repetition but also make the connections between your ideas more dynamic and clear.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, outlining the key areas of focus regarding the impact of natural disasters on the environment and public health.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate.
This sentence clearly introduces the paragraph's focus on the environmental impact of natural disasters, setting a strong foundation for the argument.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too.
It effectively transitions the essay's focus to the human aspect, highlighting the multifaceted impact of natural disasters on communities.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main argument. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey the point you will discuss. Ensure each topic sentence links back to your thesis statement, creating a cohesive narrative throughout your essay.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing instead on supporting your initial assertion about the importance of disaster resilience and environmental conservation.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay lacks a section on counterpoints.
Corrected Sentence:
While disaster resilience and environmental conservation are crucial, it is also important to acknowledge the challenges and limitations of these approaches in ensuring the well-being of communities affected by natural disasters.
While disaster resilience and environmental conservation are crucial, it is also important to acknowledge the challenges and limitations of these approaches in ensuring the well-being of communities affected by natural disasters.
Consider including a paragraph that explores potential criticisms or alternative viewpoints regarding disaster resilience and environmental conservation. This could involve discussing the challenges of implementing effective disaster management strategies or the limitations of current approaches to environmental conservation.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common criticisms or alternative perspectives related to your topic. Acknowledge these viewpoints within your essay, then provide reasoned arguments to address these points. This approach not only demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the issue but also strengthens your position by preemptively addressing potential objections.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-organized, with clear arguments and relevant examples. To further improve, consider adding more specific evidence and a stronger concluding statement to reinforce your argument. Additionally, a deeper exploration of the mechanisms linking disaster resilience to environmental conservation could provide a more comprehensive analysis.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have effectively addressed the question by exploring the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
Good example(s)
Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This sentence effectively illustrates the broad impact of natural disasters on communities, highlighting the connection between community well-being and disaster resilience.
Development of Position
Your argument is coherent and logically structured, making your point clear. However, further elaboration on how disaster resilience specifically contributes to environmental conservation could strengthen your position.
Good example(s)
Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
This sentence effectively links disaster control with environmental preservation, reinforcing your argument.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and support your argument well. To enhance your essay, consider incorporating specific studies or statistics to provide stronger evidence for your claims.
Good example(s)
For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna.
This detail effectively uses examples of different disasters to illustrate the environmental impact, supporting your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points but could be strengthened by a more decisive statement on the importance of integrating disaster resilience with environmental and community well-being strategies.
Good example(s)
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the essay's argument, tying disaster control to both environmental and public health outcomes.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of natural disasters and their impacts on the environment and public health. You effectively use technical terms and phrases that are specific to the subject matter, such as 'disaster resilience', 'environmental preservation', and 'community well-being', which enhances the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. However, there's room for diversification in your choice of words to avoid repetition and to make your essay more engaging.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
natural disasters 4 times | natural catastrophes, environmental disasters, natural calamities |
environment 3 times | ecosystem, natural world, surroundings |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| ecological resilience The capacity of an ecosystem to respond to a perturbation or disturbance by resisting damage and recovering quickly. | The capacity of an ecosystem to respond to a perturbation or disturbance by resisting damage and recovering quickly. |
| sustainable practices Methods of using resources in a way that does not deplete them, ensuring long-term environmental health. | Methods of using resources in a way that does not deplete them, ensuring long-term environmental health. |
| mitigation strategies Plans or actions implemented to reduce the severity, seriousness, or painfulness of something, especially in the context of disasters. | Plans or actions implemented to reduce the severity, seriousness, or painfulness of something, especially in the context of disasters. |
| infrastructural integrity The state of being whole and undivided in infrastructure, ensuring its capability to withstand environmental stresses or disasters. | The state of being whole and undivided in infrastructure, ensuring its capability to withstand environmental stresses or disasters. |
| psychosocial support Support provided to individuals and communities to help them cope with psychological and social impacts of disasters or traumatic events. | Support provided to individuals and communities to help them cope with psychological and social impacts of disasters or traumatic events. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with sentences that are well-constructed and free of errors. Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of grammatical rules, which contributes to the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. However, ensure to maintain parallel structure in your lists and when using conjunctions for a smoother flow.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, with a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences that enhance readability and provide a clear argument.
Good example(s)
For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna.
This sentence effectively uses a semicolon to join related independent clauses, showcasing a complex structure that adds depth to your argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is mostly consistent and correct, maintaining a balance between present and future implications of natural disasters which is suitable for this essay topic.
Good example(s)
Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This use of the modal verb 'can' effectively indicates possibility and future impact, which is appropriate for discussing potential consequences of natural disasters.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay