Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a hot debate revolving around the government's investmen on space exploration is not profitable, instead this budget should be dedicated to the other subjects. I would argue that other concerns should be prioritized. In this,essay I shall discuss perspective and I will bring reasons for my disagreement.
Firstly, these days we are faced with countless environmental problems. For instance the contamined water is a serious issue specially in developing countries. Individuals lives are endangered in the light of this phenomenon. The contaminated water is a home to the thousands of pathogenic microorganisims which can make terrible diseases. Hence, the governments ought to dedicate the national taxation to solve this deleterious concern by improving the water filtration systems instead of spend money on space exploration. In my standpoint, the governments have responsibility to ensure that people lives are preserved.
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being. In the case of the contaminated water, some scientists have a hypothesis that some specific microscopic creatures which live in another planets , can purifying contaminated water and it can be cost-effective way for solving this problem versus water filteration systems which need high initial investment and new infrastuctures.
Taking everything into account, preseve and protect people should be prioritized by the governments, subsequently they ought to dedicate they earned wages on these crucial concerns such as, air pollution, free health care, contaminated water, among others. Although it is necessary to search in outer space areas for new things that can have massive effects on our progress.
Firstly, these days we are faced with countless environmental problems. For instance the contamined water is a serious issue specially in developing countries. Individuals lives are endangered in the light of this phenomenon. The contaminated water is a home to the thousands of pathogenic microorganisims which can make terrible diseases. Hence, the governments ought to dedicate the national taxation to solve this deleterious concern by improving the water filtration systems instead of spend money on space exploration. In my standpoint, the governments have responsibility to ensure that people lives are preserved.
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being. In the case of the contaminated water, some scientists have a hypothesis that some specific microscopic creatures which live in another planets , can purifying contaminated water and it can be cost-effective way for solving this problem versus water filteration systems which need high initial investment and new infrastuctures.
Taking everything into account, preseve and protect people should be prioritized by the governments, subsequently they ought to dedicate they earned wages on these crucial concerns such as, air pollution, free health care, contaminated water, among others. Although it is necessary to search in outer space areas for new things that can have massive effects on our progress.
Submitted on August 10, 2024 at 3:03 PM
Overall Evaluation
6 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic and provides arguments for both sides, which is good for a balanced discussion. However, there are several areas that could be improved for a higher IELTS score. Firstly, your introduction could be stronger by directly stating your opinion on the issue. It's important to make your stance clear from the beginning. Your essay has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing ('investmen on space exploration is not profitable', 'contamined water', 'water filteration systems') that could hinder clarity and coherence. Working on sentence structure and proofreading for spelling and grammar will enhance your essay's readability. Additionally, your argumentation would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. While you mention the potential benefits of space exploration in addressing water contamination, expanding on how these technologies could be applied and comparing their effectiveness and cost with current methods would strengthen your argument. Lastly, your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint well, but it could be more impactful by succinctly restating the main reasons for your stance. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good attempt at addressing the question but needs refinement in clarity, grammar, and argumentation to achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay has a clear stance and attempts to present arguments for both sides, which is good for balance. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother to enhance the logical flow. Overall, your essay's structure is adequate but can benefit from clearer connections between points. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
Hence, the governments ought to dedicate the national taxation to solve this deleterious concern by improving the water filtration systems instead of spend money on space exploration.
This sentence effectively presents a solution-oriented argument, showing a clear stance and reasoning.
Bad Sentence(s)
In this,essay I shall discuss perspective and I will bring reasons for my disagreement.
Corrected Sentence:
In this essay, I will discuss why I believe government spending should prioritize environmental and public health issues over space exploration.
In this essay, I will discuss why I believe government spending should prioritize environmental and public health issues over space exploration.
Clarify your introduction by directly stating your main arguments to improve coherence.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by outlining your main points in the introduction, then develop each point in its own paragraph, and use transition words to link ideas. Conclude by summarizing your arguments and restating your stance.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are structured around central ideas, which is good. However, some paragraphs could be more focused, and the connection between them can be strengthened. Band: 6.0
Bad Sentence(s)
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being.
Corrected Sentence:
However, it is also worth considering that space exploration projects have the potential to be profitable for humanity.
However, it is also worth considering that space exploration projects have the potential to be profitable for humanity.
Introduce this paragraph more clearly to indicate a shift in perspective or introduce a counterargument.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph focus by dedicating each paragraph to a single idea, introduced by a clear topic sentence. Use concluding sentences to link back to the essay's main argument and provide transitions to the next idea.
Cohesive Devices
You have made some attempts to use cohesive devices, but their use is not always effective in linking ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Band: 5.5
Bad Sentence(s)
In the case of the contaminated water, some scientists have a hypothesis that some specific microscopic creatures which live in another planets , can purifying contaminated water and it can be cost-effective way for solving this problem versus water filteration systems which need high initial investment and new infrastuctures.
Corrected Sentence:
In the case of contaminated water, some scientists hypothesize that specific microscopic creatures from other planets could purify it. This method might be more cost-effective compared to water filtration systems, which require high initial investments and new infrastructure.
In the case of contaminated water, some scientists hypothesize that specific microscopic creatures from other planets could purify it. This method might be more cost-effective compared to water filtration systems, which require high initial investments and new infrastructure.
Break down complex ideas into simpler sentences and use cohesive devices to link them.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, practice using a variety of linking words to show contrast, addition, cause and effect, and sequence. Ensure each device is used appropriately to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear direction for each paragraph, indicating the main idea effectively.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, these days we are faced with countless environmental problems.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph's focus on environmental issues, setting a clear context for the argument.
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being.
It introduces a contrasting viewpoint effectively, signaling a balanced discussion.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main argument or point. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey your stance or the aspect of the topic you will discuss.
Counter Points
You have attempted to address a contrasting viewpoint in your essay, which is good for a balanced argument. However, the integration of this counterpoint could be improved for clarity and impact.
Bad Sentence(s)
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being.
Corrected Sentence:
However, space exploration projects can be profitable for humanity by potentially solving issues like water contamination through the discovery of new technologies.
However, space exploration projects can be profitable for humanity by potentially solving issues like water contamination through the discovery of new technologies.
Clarify the sentence structure and directly state how space exploration can be profitable, making the counterpoint stronger.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, clearly state the counterpoint and then directly refute or support it with specific evidence or reasoning. Use transitional phrases to smoothly integrate these viewpoints into your argument.
Task Achievement
5.5 Bands
Overall, you have a clear stance and relevant examples, but your essay would benefit from more detailed development of your arguments and counter-arguments, better evidence, and more careful proofreading to avoid grammatical errors. Strengthening these areas could significantly improve your score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question directly, presenting a clear stance on the issue. However, your argument could be strengthened by addressing the counter-argument more effectively.
Good example(s)
Hence, the governments ought to dedicate the national taxation to solve this deleterious concern by improving the water filtration systems instead of spend money on space exploration.
This sentence clearly articulates your main argument and presents a practical alternative to space exploration spending.
Bad Example(s)
In this,essay I shall discuss perspective and I will bring reasons for my disagreement.
This sentence is vague and contains grammatical errors, which weakens your introduction.
Development of Position
Your position is somewhat developed but lacks depth in places. The counter-argument is mentioned but not explored in enough detail to strengthen your position.
Good example(s)
Firstly, these days we are faced with countless environmental problems.
This sentence effectively introduces the argument that there are more immediate concerns than space exploration.
Bad Example(s)
However, space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being.
This sentence introduces a counter-argument but fails to elaborate on how or why, making your argument less convincing.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but need more detail and evidence to be truly persuasive. The connection between space exploration benefits and solving terrestrial problems like water contamination could be made clearer.
Good example(s)
For instance the contamined water is a serious issue specially in developing countries.
This example is specific and highlights a critical issue that could be prioritized over space exploration.
Bad Example(s)
some scientists have a hypothesis that some specific microscopic creatures which live in another planets , can purifying contaminated water
This detail is speculative and lacks credible evidence, weakening your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your stance but could be more impactful by summarizing key points more effectively or suggesting a call to action.
Bad Example(s)
Taking everything into account, preseve and protect people should be prioritized by the governments, subsequently they ought to dedicate they earned wages on these crucial concerns such as, air pollution, free health care, contaminated water, among others.
This sentence is overly long and contains several grammatical errors, which detracts from the clarity and impact of your conclusion.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary related to the topic of space exploration and its comparison with other governmental spending priorities. However, there's room for improvement in terms of precision, variety, and avoiding repetition to enhance the overall lexical quality of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| investmen | investment | Typographical error. |
| contamined water | contaminated water | Spelling mistake. |
| microorganisims | microorganisms | Spelling mistake. |
| filteration | filtration | Spelling mistake. |
| preseve and protect people | preserve and protect people | Typographical error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
contaminated water 3 times | polluted water, unsafe water, impure water |
space exploration 4 times | space research, outer space investigation, space study |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| feasible Possible and practical to do easily or conveniently. | Possible and practical to do easily or conveniently. |
| allocate To distribute resources or duties for a particular purpose. | To distribute resources or duties for a particular purpose. |
| sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; causing little or no damage to the environment and therefore able to continue for a long time. | Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; causing little or no damage to the environment and therefore able to continue for a long time. |
| innovative Featuring new methods; advanced and original. | Featuring new methods; advanced and original. |
| prioritize Designate or treat (something) as more important than other things. | Designate or treat (something) as more important than other things. |
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar needs attention to detail, particularly with spelling and correct verb forms. Consistent review and correction of these errors will significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Paying attention to preposition usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement will also enhance your essay's readability.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences show some variety in structure, but there's room for improvement in complexity and variation to enhance readability and engagement.
Good example(s)
Hence, the governments ought to dedicate the national taxation to solve this deleterious concern by improving the water filtration systems instead of spend money on space exploration.
This sentence effectively combines cause and effect with a suggestion, showcasing a more complex structure.
Bad Example(s)
In this,essay I shall discuss perspective and I will bring reasons for my disagreement.
The structure is awkward due to the misplaced comma and lack of clarity in expression.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, with a good use of the present simple to discuss current issues and hypothetical future scenarios. However, there were instances where tense consistency could be improved.
Bad Example(s)
space exploration projects enable to be profitable for the human being.
This sentence structure is awkward and the tense usage is unclear. It could be improved for clarity and accuracy.
Grammatical Errors
government's investmen on space exploration is not profitable
Correction:
government's investment in space exploration is not profitable
government's investment in space exploration is not profitable
Misspelling of 'investment' and incorrect preposition 'on' should be 'in'.
contamined water
Correction:
contaminated water
contaminated water
Misspelling of 'contaminated'.
specially in developing countries
Correction:
especially in developing countries
especially in developing countries
'Specially' is incorrectly used; 'especially' is the correct word choice.
thousands of pathogenic microorganisims
Correction:
thousands of pathogenic microorganisms
thousands of pathogenic microorganisms
Misspelling of 'microorganisms'.
instead of spend money on space exploration
Correction:
instead of spending money on space exploration
instead of spending money on space exploration
Incorrect verb form; 'spend' should be 'spending' to match the gerund structure.
preseve and protect people
Correction:
preserve and protect people
preserve and protect people
Misspelling of 'preserve'.
they earned wages
Correction:
their earned wages
their earned wages
Incorrect pronoun; 'they' should be 'their' to indicate possession.