Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that the government should provide free healthcare services to all citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons and examples to support your viewpoint.
Community demands from the government of the state to facilitate them with healthcare service free of cost. They claim for health facility because people think that this is the main right of the people in their state.
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state . When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health. Because they dont have to pay for their checkups.
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment. State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country . They dont get ill and the ratio of the bed ridden illness is less because of free medical facility . People try to reach the hospital on time for treatment because they dont have to pay a single peny from their pocket.
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population. That will help in their development.
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state . When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health. Because they dont have to pay for their checkups.
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment. State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country . They dont get ill and the ratio of the bed ridden illness is less because of free medical facility . People try to reach the hospital on time for treatment because they dont have to pay a single peny from their pocket.
Beside all this the developed countries provided free medical facilities yo its population. That will help in their development.
Submitted on February 12, 2024 at 11:18 AM
Overall Evaluation
6 Bands
Your essay addresses the importance of free healthcare services provided by the government and presents a clear stance on why it is considered a fundamental right for citizens. You effectively use examples, such as Canada and the UK, to support your argument, illustrating how free healthcare contributes to the overall health and welfare of a country's population. However, your essay could benefit from more careful proofreading to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Additionally, expanding on how free healthcare impacts economic factors and providing counterarguments could strengthen your essay. Consider exploring different perspectives to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6
Coherence & Cohesion
6 Bands
Your essay maintains a focus on the importance and benefits of free healthcare, which aids in its coherence. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from clearer organization, such as using distinct paragraphs for different aspects of the argument. Including a brief introduction and conclusion to frame your argument would also improve coherence.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay has a clear central idea, advocating for free healthcare as a fundamental right. However, the flow of ideas could be improved by better structuring your arguments and providing more detailed examples.
Good Sentence(s)
When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health.
This sentence effectively highlights the positive behavior change that free healthcare can inspire among citizens.
Bad Sentence(s)
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
Corrected Sentence:
Besides, the state can easily manage viruses and pandemics because with free healthcare, individuals are more likely to seek vaccination and treatment.
Besides, the state can easily manage viruses and pandemics because with free healthcare, individuals are more likely to seek vaccination and treatment.
Clarify the idea and correct spelling errors to improve readability.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start with a clear introduction that outlines your main points, use separate paragraphs for each argument, and conclude with a summary that reinforces your stance.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs lack clear separation of ideas, making it difficult to distinguish between different arguments.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your entire essay appears as a single paragraph.
Corrected Sentence:
Introduction: State your thesis. Body Paragraph 1: Discuss the right to free healthcare. Body Paragraph 2: Explain how free healthcare leads to better public health outcomes. Conclusion: Summarize your arguments and restate your thesis.
Introduction: State your thesis. Body Paragraph 1: Discuss the right to free healthcare. Body Paragraph 2: Explain how free healthcare leads to better public health outcomes. Conclusion: Summarize your arguments and restate your thesis.
Divide your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs for each main idea, and a conclusion.
Suggestions
Focus on creating distinct paragraphs for each main idea, using topic sentences to introduce the paragraph's focus and concluding sentences to wrap up the argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is minimal, which affects the overall coherence of the essay. Including more transitional phrases could help in linking ideas more smoothly.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating transitional words and phrases such as 'furthermore', 'for example', 'in addition', and 'consequently' to better connect your ideas.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally introduce the idea of free healthcare as a fundamental right and its benefits, but they could be more specific and engaging to better guide the reader through your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health.
This sentence effectively highlights the positive behavior change towards health due to free healthcare.
Bad Sentence(s)
As people have many different point of views about this facility but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state.
Corrected Sentence:
I believe that access to free healthcare is a fundamental right for residents of a state.
I believe that access to free healthcare is a fundamental right for residents of a state.
Clarify and streamline the sentence to directly state the essay's main argument.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of your main idea. Follow this by briefly introducing how you will support this idea in the paragraph. Avoid complex structures and be direct.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints. Including and refuting counterarguments can strengthen your position.
Suggestions
To better integrate counterarguments, identify common opposing views on free healthcare, such as concerns about quality and funding. Then, provide evidence or reasoning to refute these points, showing why the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Task Achievement
6 Bands
Overall, you have a solid foundation for your essay. Your main argument is clear, and you provide examples to support your views. However, to achieve a higher band, work on deepening your argument with more detailed examples, addressing potential counterarguments, and polishing your conclusion. Also, pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and professionalism.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question directly by stating your viewpoint on the importance of free healthcare. However, expanding on how it impacts society beyond individual benefits could strengthen your response.
Good example(s)
When your country provides you free health facility then people use to visit hospital on regular basis and stay concerned about their health.
This sentence effectively highlights the positive behavior change towards health due to free healthcare.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear but lacks depth. Including more diverse arguments and counterarguments would make your position stronger.
Good example(s)
State have no need to inforce the treatment or hospital visits.
It's a good point that illustrates the self-motivation of individuals under a free healthcare system.
Supporting Details
Your examples, such as those from Canada and the UK, are relevant but need more specific data or statistics to be convincing.
Good example(s)
For example in canada and Uk the health facility is free thats why their citizens remain healthy and helps in the welfare of the country.
This provides a real-world example of your argument in action.
Conclusion
Your conclusion could be stronger by summarizing your main points more clearly and suggesting further implications or actions.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, but there are areas where lexical resources could be enhanced to improve clarity and precision. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and paying attention to word choice and spelling can make your argument more compelling.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| penadamics | pandemics | Spelling error. |
| soo | so | Spelling error. |
| inforce | enforce | Incorrect spelling and usage. |
| peny | penny | Spelling error. |
| facilty | facility | Spelling error. |
| yo | to | Typographical error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
free 5 times | complimentary, no-cost, gratis |
health 6 times | medical, healthcare, wellbeing |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| universal healthcare A health care system that provides health care and financial protection to all citizens of a particular country. | A health care system that provides health care and financial protection to all citizens of a particular country. |
| preventive measures Actions taken to prevent diseases or injuries rather than curing them or treating their symptoms. | Actions taken to prevent diseases or injuries rather than curing them or treating their symptoms. |
| healthcare infrastructure The physical and organizational structures needed to provide health care to a population. | The physical and organizational structures needed to provide health care to a population. |
| public health policy Guidelines and laws that govern the health and wellbeing of the public. | Guidelines and laws that govern the health and wellbeing of the public. |
| equitable access Fair and impartial access to resources, opportunities, and rights. | Fair and impartial access to resources, opportunities, and rights. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors, including run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and spelling mistakes. It's crucial to proofread your work for these errors to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, consider varying your sentence structures to make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity. Most of them are simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentence structures that could enhance the depth and clarity of your argument.
Bad Example(s)
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
This sentence is overly long and confusing, with multiple ideas crammed into one without proper punctuation or structure.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss current situations and general truths. However, there are instances where tense usage could be improved for clarity.
Grammatical Errors
As people have many different point of views about this facilty but in my point of view this is the main right of the person that he got free health care in his state .
Correction:
People have many different points of view about this facility, but in my opinion, it is a fundamental right for individuals to receive free healthcare in their state.
People have many different points of view about this facility, but in my opinion, it is a fundamental right for individuals to receive free healthcare in their state.
The original sentence is a run-on sentence with incorrect usage of 'point of views' and 'facility'. Additionally, 'that he got free health care' is awkwardly phrased.
Because they dont have to pay for their checkups.
Correction:
This is because they do not have to pay for their checkups.
This is because they do not have to pay for their checkups.
The original sentence is a fragment and lacks a subject. 'dont' should also be 'do not' for formal writing.
Beside this state easily deals with viruses and penadamics which spreads in the country beause the health facility is free soo person it self try to approch to hospital for vaccine and treatment.
Correction:
Moreover, the state can easily deal with viruses and pandemics that spread in the country because healthcare is free, encouraging individuals to seek hospital treatment and vaccinations.
Moreover, the state can easily deal with viruses and pandemics that spread in the country because healthcare is free, encouraging individuals to seek hospital treatment and vaccinations.
The original sentence contains multiple spelling errors ('beside', 'penadamics', 'beause', 'soo', 'approch'), and lacks clarity and coherence.