Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that governments should invest in renewable energy projects. Others believe that focusing on traditional energy sources is more practical. What is your view on this matter?
However,it looks bit controversial .In my view the governement should also focus on renewble energy resources .because as we all know renewable energy resources are very cheap, they are easily manageable as well as by using them efficiently we can rise the economicalstatus of country by promoting the resource consevation .There are so many examples which can prove like solar energy ,it can provide heat water and electricity without much wastage. In addition the solar panels which we will erect on our buildings will be more useful in terms of reducing the electricity bill and gaininng the knowledge on the renewable energy resorces.
Most of the people think that ,reusable energy resources are not productive and the investment is a bit high ,but the actual reality rises that in most of the surveys it is proven that the investment imperishable energy is more advantageous and profitable.In major countries like Russia,USA and London most of the electricical energy is provided from wind mills.The another major enrgy is bio gas ,these can provide the firewhich is required for various purposes like cooking and heating .In contrast there are some negatives sides ,conversion of naturally available products into the usable one is a trouble some procedure and managing all these inputs wha ever required for the upgradation of inputs is a difficult task .
However , the traditional practices will be a benefitting investment .On account of these past treatements or the cultures we practised is a asubject which is known by all the farmers and as well as farmers .When it come to the sustainable energy ,awareness on these topic is not present in most of the villages .Many people argue that instead of investing on new menthods which are not well known rather putting efforts on orthrodox cultures is a quite economically positive thing.
On other hand ,some people debate the point that habitual practices can exist up to a short term limit after few years that practices will be deteriorating the nature like slash and burn agriculture.The feasible power could bring the new versatality into the human life and it could lead the nation towards diversification .
I conclude that,balancing the indigenous practices and feasible energy is an advantageous method which govenemnt can take initiative.
Most of the people think that ,reusable energy resources are not productive and the investment is a bit high ,but the actual reality rises that in most of the surveys it is proven that the investment imperishable energy is more advantageous and profitable.In major countries like Russia,USA and London most of the electricical energy is provided from wind mills.The another major enrgy is bio gas ,these can provide the firewhich is required for various purposes like cooking and heating .In contrast there are some negatives sides ,conversion of naturally available products into the usable one is a trouble some procedure and managing all these inputs wha ever required for the upgradation of inputs is a difficult task .
However , the traditional practices will be a benefitting investment .On account of these past treatements or the cultures we practised is a asubject which is known by all the farmers and as well as farmers .When it come to the sustainable energy ,awareness on these topic is not present in most of the villages .Many people argue that instead of investing on new menthods which are not well known rather putting efforts on orthrodox cultures is a quite economically positive thing.
On other hand ,some people debate the point that habitual practices can exist up to a short term limit after few years that practices will be deteriorating the nature like slash and burn agriculture.The feasible power could bring the new versatality into the human life and it could lead the nation towards diversification .
I conclude that,balancing the indigenous practices and feasible energy is an advantageous method which govenemnt can take initiative.
Submitted on June 9, 2024 at 3:52 AM
Overall Evaluation
5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic by presenting arguments for both renewable and traditional energy sources, concluding with a balanced viewpoint. However, there are several areas for improvement to achieve a higher band score. Firstly, your essay would benefit from clearer organization and structure, including distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving a specific purpose. Secondly, your argumentation could be strengthened by providing more detailed examples and evidence to support your claims. Thirdly, pay attention to your grammar and punctuation, as errors can hinder clarity and coherence. Additionally, varying your sentence structure and vocabulary can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills. Lastly, ensure your position is clear throughout the essay and directly addresses the question. Focusing on these aspects can enhance the effectiveness of your argument and improve your overall band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5
Coherence & Cohesion
4 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, making it difficult to follow your argument's progression. Overall, the structure is somewhat disorganized, which impacts the clarity of your viewpoints. Band: 4.5
Good Sentence(s)
In major countries like Russia, USA and London most of the electrical energy is provided from wind mills.
This sentence provides a clear example to support your argument, showing effective organization within its context.
Bad Sentence(s)
However,it looks bit controversial .In my view the governement should also focus on renewble energy resources .because as we all know renewable energy resources are very cheap, they are easily manageable as well as by using them efficiently we can rise the economicalstatus of country by promoting the resource consevation .
Corrected Sentence:
Although it may seem controversial, I believe the government should focus on renewable energy resources because they are cost-effective, manageable, and can enhance the country's economic status through resource conservation.
Although it may seem controversial, I believe the government should focus on renewable energy resources because they are cost-effective, manageable, and can enhance the country's economic status through resource conservation.
Clarify your stance in the introduction and correct grammatical errors to improve readability.
Suggestions
Start with a clear introduction that presents your thesis statement. Organize your essay into paragraphs with distinct themes, and use transition words to guide the reader through your argument. Conclude with a summary of your points and a restatement of your position.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are not clearly defined, and ideas within them seem jumbled rather than logically progressing from one to the next. Band: 4.0
Bad Sentence(s)
However , the traditional practices will be a benefitting investment .On account of these past treatements or the cultures we practised is a asubject which is known by all the farmers and as well as farmers .
Corrected Sentence:
However, investing in traditional practices can also be beneficial. These time-tested methods are familiar to farmers, making them a valuable resource.
However, investing in traditional practices can also be beneficial. These time-tested methods are familiar to farmers, making them a valuable resource.
Split complex ideas into separate paragraphs and introduce each new idea with a topic sentence.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph structure by starting with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect, which disrupts the flow of your essay. Band: 4.0
Bad Sentence(s)
Most of the people think that ,reusable energy resources are not productive and the investment is a bit high ,but the actual reality rises that in most of the surveys it is proven that the investment imperishable energy is more advantageous and profitable.
Corrected Sentence:
Although many people believe that renewable energy resources are not productive and require high investment, surveys show that investing in sustainable energy is more advantageous and profitable.
Although many people believe that renewable energy resources are not productive and require high investment, surveys show that investing in sustainable energy is more advantageous and profitable.
Use cohesive devices to better link your ideas and correct the grammatical errors.
Suggestions
To improve cohesion, use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Practice using conjunctions, adverbial phrases, and pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences need clarity and focus to directly address the essay question. They should clearly state your argument or the point of the paragraph.
Bad Sentence(s)
However,it looks bit controversial .In my view the governement should also focus on renewble energy resources .
Corrected Sentence:
In my view, governments should prioritize investment in renewable energy resources due to their long-term benefits for both the economy and the environment.
In my view, governments should prioritize investment in renewable energy resources due to their long-term benefits for both the economy and the environment.
Clarify and directly state your viewpoint on the importance of renewable energy over traditional sources.
However , the traditional practices will be a benefitting investment .
Corrected Sentence:
While traditional energy sources have their merits, investing in renewable energy offers more sustainable and beneficial outcomes.
While traditional energy sources have their merits, investing in renewable energy offers more sustainable and beneficial outcomes.
Make a clearer argument for or against traditional energy practices within the context of your essay's argument.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start each paragraph with a sentence that directly addresses an aspect of the essay question. Make sure it's specific and clearly states the main idea of the paragraph that follows.
Counter Points
You attempted to address contrasting viewpoints, but your handling of counterarguments lacks depth and clarity. Providing more detailed examples and directly refuting or supporting these points could strengthen your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
Most of the people think that ,reusable energy resources are not productive and the investment is a bit high ,but the actual reality rises that in most of the surveys it is proven that the investment imperishable energy is more advantageous and profitable.
Corrected Sentence:
Although some argue that renewable energy resources require high initial investment, numerous studies have shown that they are ultimately more cost-effective and productive in the long run.
Although some argue that renewable energy resources require high initial investment, numerous studies have shown that they are ultimately more cost-effective and productive in the long run.
Clarify and directly address the counterpoint with specific evidence or examples.
Suggestions
To more effectively address and integrate counterarguments, acknowledge the opposing viewpoint clearly and then use specific evidence or examples to refute or support these points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Task Achievement
4.5 Bands
Overall, you have attempted to address the task but your essay lacks a clear and coherent argument. Your position on renewable versus traditional energy sources is not strongly established, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on clearly stating your viewpoint and supporting it with detailed examples and explanations. Additionally, work on the structure and coherence of your essay to ensure your argument is easy to follow.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question, but your argument could be clearer. You seem to support renewable energy but also suggest a balance with traditional practices, which might confuse readers about your stance.
Good example(s)
Most of the electricical energy is provided from wind mills in major countries like Russia, USA and London.
This sentence provides a clear example supporting the use of renewable energy.
Bad Example(s)
However,it looks bit controversial.
This opening sentence is vague and does not effectively introduce your argument.
Development of Position
Your position is somewhat developed but lacks clarity and coherence. You mention both renewable and traditional energy sources without a clear argument for one over the other.
Bad Example(s)
However , the traditional practices will be a benefitting investment .
This sentence contradicts earlier support for renewable energy, confusing the reader about your stance.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but need more detail and explanation to strengthen your argument. Consider elaborating on how renewable energy can economically benefit countries.
Good example(s)
solar energy ,it can provide heat water and electricity without much wastage.
This detail supports the argument for renewable energy by highlighting its efficiency and benefits.
Bad Example(s)
conversion of naturally available products into the usable one is a trouble some procedure
This sentence is vague and lacks detail, weakening your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion attempts to balance both views but lacks a strong closing argument. It would benefit from a clearer statement of your position.
Bad Example(s)
I conclude that,balancing the indigenous practices and feasible energy is an advantageous method which govenemnt can take initiative.
This conclusion is weak because it does not decisively support one side of the argument, leaving the reader uncertain of your view.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of renewable versus traditional energy sources. However, the effectiveness of your lexical resource is somewhat diminished by spelling errors, incorrect word choices, and instances of awkward phrasing. Enhancing your accuracy and variety of vocabulary could significantly improve the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| renewble | renewable | Spelling mistake. |
| governement | government | Spelling mistake. |
| economicalstatus | economic status | Incorrect word usage and spacing. |
| resource consevation | resource conservation | Spelling mistake. |
| electricical | electrical | Spelling mistake. |
| enrgy | energy | Spelling mistake. |
| imperishable energy | renewable energy | Incorrect terminology. |
| orthrodox | orthodox | Spelling mistake. |
| menthods | methods | Spelling mistake. |
| govenemnt | government | Spelling mistake. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
energy 15 times | power, resources, sources |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; especially regarding environmental depletion. | Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; especially regarding environmental depletion. |
| feasible Possible to do easily or conveniently. | Possible to do easily or conveniently. |
| diversification The process of a business enlarging or varying its range of products or field of operation. | The process of a business enlarging or varying its range of products or field of operation. |
| initiative The ability to assess and initiate things independently. | The ability to assess and initiate things independently. |
| versatility Ability to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities. | Ability to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities. |
Out of Context
investment imperishable energy
Corrected Sentence:
investment in renewable energy
investment in renewable energy
Referring to investment in energy
Grammatical Range
4.5 Bands
Your essay has several grammatical issues that need attention, including punctuation errors, spelling mistakes, and incorrect word usage. It's crucial to proofread your work for these errors to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, varying your sentence structure and correctly using articles would significantly benefit your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity. They often start in a similar manner and the use of conjunctions is somewhat repetitive. Incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences could enhance readability and coherence.
Bad Example(s)
However,it looks bit controversial .In my view the governement should also focus on renewble energy resources .because as we all know renewable energy resources are very cheap, they are easily manageable as well as by using them efficiently we can rise the economicalstatus of country by promoting the resource consevation .
This sentence is overly long, lacks proper punctuation, and combines multiple ideas without clear separation, making it hard to follow.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss current opinions and facts. However, attention to detail is needed to ensure accuracy throughout.
Grammatical Errors
However,it looks bit controversial .
Correction:
However, it looks a bit controversial.
However, it looks a bit controversial.
Lack of space after a comma, missing article 'a' before 'bit'.
renewble energy resources
Correction:
renewable energy resources
renewable energy resources
Spelling mistake in 'renewable'.
economicalstatus
Correction:
economic status
economic status
Incorrect compound word. Should be two separate words.
resource consevation
Correction:
resource conservation
resource conservation
Spelling mistake in 'conservation'.
electricical energy
Correction:
electrical energy
electrical energy
Spelling mistake in 'electrical'.