Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Natural disasters can have long-lasting effects on both the environment and public health. Explore the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being.
Over the past couple of decades, owing to the rapid climate change, the world has encountered many natural disasters. These catastrophes can have long-term impacts on our environment as well as public safety. This essay will explore how disaster control can affect environmental preservation and public well-being.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fuana. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the communicaty safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can destruct and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resiliance, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fuana. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the communicaty safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can destruct and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resiliance, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
Submitted on July 26, 2024 at 11:58 AM
Overall Evaluation
7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, demonstrating a clear understanding of the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. You have structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that explore the impacts of natural disasters on the environment and public health, and a conclusion that emphasizes the importance of disaster resilience. However, there are areas for improvement. Firstly, your spelling and grammar need attention; for example, 'communicaty safety' should be 'community safety', and 'fauna' is misspelled as 'fuana'. Additionally, providing specific examples or case studies could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Your vocabulary is appropriate, but varying your sentence structure could enhance readability. Overall, your essay is informative and addresses the question, but refining your accuracy and adding more detailed examples could improve its impact. Based on IELTS standards, your essay would likely score around 6.5 to 7.0, as it meets the task response and coherence criteria well but has room for improvement in lexical resource, grammatical range, and accuracy.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7.5
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively exploring the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. The introduction sets a solid foundation for the discussion, followed by detailed paragraphs that delve into the impacts of natural disasters on the environment and public health, concluding with the importance of disaster resilience. Overall, your organization is coherent, earning a band score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Natural catastrophes can destruct and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This sentence effectively summarizes the multifaceted impact of natural disasters, illustrating the essay's main argument with clarity and precision.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider incorporating more explicit transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. Additionally, integrating examples or case studies could further strengthen the logical flow by providing concrete evidence to support your claims.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The essay is organized into distinct sections that logically progress from the introduction of the topic to the exploration of its impacts and the conclusion. This structure facilitates easy reading and comprehension, meriting a band score of 7.5.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea to be discussed. Follow this with supporting sentences that expand on the topic sentence and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main point or links to the next paragraph's topic.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay makes good use of cohesive devices, linking ideas smoothly and helping to create a coherent narrative. Devices such as 'therefore', 'as for', and 'furthermore' are used effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. This skillful use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall clarity of your essay, deserving a band score of 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
The use of 'therefore' effectively signals a conclusion drawn from the preceding argument, emphasizing the necessity of controlling natural disruptions.
Suggestions
To further improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying them more to avoid repetition and to enhance the flow of your essay. Experiment with synonyms and different types of linking words, such as those indicating contrast, cause and effect, and addition, to make your writing even more dynamic and engaging.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the direction of your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph's focus on the environmental impact of natural disasters.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too.
This sentence successfully shifts the essay's focus to the human impact of natural disasters, setting up a discussion on community well-being.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, ensure they succinctly convey the main idea of the paragraph. Start with a broad statement and then narrow down to the specific aspect you will discuss. Use active voice and precise language for clarity.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterpoints. Including counterarguments could strengthen your essay by showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay lacks a section where counterpoints are directly addressed.
Corrected Sentence:
While disaster resilience and environmental conservation are crucial, it is also important to consider the challenges and criticisms these efforts face, such as the high costs or potential for unintended environmental impacts.
While disaster resilience and environmental conservation are crucial, it is also important to consider the challenges and criticisms these efforts face, such as the high costs or potential for unintended environmental impacts.
Consider adding a paragraph that acknowledges potential counterarguments or differing perspectives on disaster resilience and environmental conservation. This could involve discussing challenges or criticisms of current disaster management strategies.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common or significant criticisms of your main points and address them head-on. Acknowledge the validity of these counterpoints where appropriate, and then refute or mitigate them with evidence or reasoning. This approach not only demonstrates a thorough understanding of the issue but also strengthens your position.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you've done a good job of addressing the question, developing a clear argument, and supporting it with relevant examples. To further improve, consider adding more detailed evidence and a stronger concluding statement that reinforces the importance of the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You've addressed the question directly by exploring the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. Your essay establishes a clear link between these elements, indicating a good understanding of the topic.
Good example(s)
Natural catastrophes can destruct and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This sentence effectively highlights the multifaceted impact of natural disasters on communities, tying it back to the essay question.
Development of Position
Your argument is coherent and logically structured, making your point clear. However, further elaboration on how disaster resilience specifically contributes to environmental conservation and community well-being could strengthen your position.
Good example(s)
Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
This sentence effectively ties disaster control to environmental preservation, reinforcing your argument.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and support your argument well. To enhance your essay, consider incorporating specific studies or data to provide evidence for your claims.
Good example(s)
the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming
This detail effectively illustrates the environmental impact of natural disasters, supporting your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well but could be strengthened by a more decisive statement on the importance of integrating disaster resilience with environmental and community well-being strategies.
Good example(s)
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the essay's main argument, tying it back to the importance of disaster resilience.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resources with a variety of vocabulary pertinent to the topic of natural disasters, environmental conservation, and community well-being. You effectively communicate complex ideas related to disaster resilience. However, enhancing your lexical range with more precise terminology related to environmental science and disaster management could further strengthen your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
disasters 5 times | catastrophes, calamities, crises |
environment 3 times | ecosystem, nature, surroundings |
well-being 3 times | health, welfare, prosperity |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| ecological resilience The capacity of an ecosystem to respond to a perturbation or disturbance by resisting damage and recovering quickly. | The capacity of an ecosystem to respond to a perturbation or disturbance by resisting damage and recovering quickly. |
| sustainable development Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. | Economic development that is conducted without depletion of natural resources. |
| mitigation strategies Actions that are designed to reduce or eliminate risks to people and property from natural disasters and environmental changes. | Actions that are designed to reduce or eliminate risks to people and property from natural disasters and environmental changes. |
| adaptive capacity The ability of a system to adjust to climate change (including climate variability and extremes) to moderate potential damage, to take advantage of opportunities, or to cope with the consequences. | The ability of a system to adjust to climate change (including climate variability and extremes) to moderate potential damage, to take advantage of opportunities, or to cope with the consequences. |
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with only a few minor errors related to spelling and word choice. Correcting these will further polish your essay. Your ability to construct complex sentences and use tenses appropriately enhances the readability and effectiveness of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences exhibit a good range of complexity and variation, effectively contributing to the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
Good example(s)
For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to list various impacts of natural disasters, showcasing your ability to construct sophisticated sentences.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and correct, effectively supporting your analysis and discussion of the topic.
Good example(s)
These catastrophes can have long-term impacts on our environment as well as public safety.
This use of the modal verb 'can' appropriately indicates possibility and future impact, which is suitable for the speculative nature of the essay.
Grammatical Errors
As for the communicaty safety,
Correction:
As for the community safety,
As for the community safety,
The word 'communicaty' is a typo and should be corrected to 'community' for accurate spelling.
Natural catastrophes can destruct and displace entire communities,
Correction:
Natural catastrophes can destroy and displace entire communities,
Natural catastrophes can destroy and displace entire communities,
The correct verb to use is 'destroy' rather than 'destruct', as 'destruct' is not commonly used in this form.
This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Correction:
This emphasizes the importance of disaster resilience for the safety and well-being of the citizens.
This emphasizes the importance of disaster resilience for the safety and well-being of the citizens.
The word 'resiliance' is misspelled and should be corrected to 'resilience'. Additionally, 'the' should be added before 'safety' for grammatical accuracy.