Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Natural disasters can have long-lasting effects on both the environment and public health. Explore the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being.
Over the past couple of decades, owing to the rapid climate change, the world has encountered many natural disasters. These catastrophes can have long-term impacts on our environment as well as public safety. This essay will explore how disaster control can affect environmental preservation and public well-being.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resilience, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate. For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna. Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too. Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states. All these factors can fuel the suffering of masses in numerous ways; not just physically, but mentally and financially as well. Furthermore, it can take a lifetime for a family and decades for governments to overcome the destructions of that magnitude. This emphasizes the importance of disaster resiliance for safety and well-being of the citizens.
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health. Therefore, steps should be taken for disaster resilience, otherwise the impact can be long-term, long-lasting, and difficult to overcome.
Submitted on July 26, 2024 at 12:12 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. You have clearly outlined how natural disasters impact both the environment and public health, and the importance of disaster resilience. Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. However, to further improve your essay, consider incorporating a wider range of examples and perhaps some statistics or studies to substantiate your claims. Additionally, exploring potential solutions or strategies for disaster resilience and environmental conservation could add depth to your analysis. Your writing is coherent and well-structured, making your essay easy to follow. Overall, your essay is strong, but with slight enhancements, it could be even more compelling. Band score: 7.5.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively addressing the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. Overall, the organization of your essay is strong, meriting a score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the multifaceted impact of natural disasters on communities, illustrating a well-organized thought process.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in future essays, consider incorporating more transitional phrases that explicitly connect the paragraphs and ideas. Additionally, integrating specific examples or case studies can further strengthen the logical flow.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all distinct, with a logical progression from one to the next. Your paragraphing merits a score of 8.5.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph topic, providing a clear and focused starting point for the discussion on environmental impact.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea. Additionally, try to develop each paragraph fully with examples or evidence that supports the main idea.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, helping to create a smooth flow between sentences and ideas. However, there's room for improvement in varying your cohesive devices to avoid repetition and enhance readability. Your score here is 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Therefore, it is extremely crucial to control these types of disruptions in nature in order to conserve the already-worsening climate.
The use of 'Therefore' effectively signals a conclusion drawn from the preceding argument, linking the need for control to the goal of conservation.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transition words and phrases that indicate different relationships between ideas, such as contrast ('however', 'on the other hand') and addition ('furthermore', 'in addition'). This will enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, clearly linking them to the thesis statement.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, natural catastrophes directly threaten Earth's atmosphere, deteriorating it at a faster rate.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph's focus on environmental impacts of natural disasters.
As for the community safety, natural disasters can have a direct and far-reaching effects on people's physical, mental, and economic well-being too.
It clearly transitions the essay's focus from environmental impacts to the effects on community well-being, maintaining coherence.
Suggestions
For clearer and more impactful topic sentences, consider highlighting the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being more explicitly. This could involve directly mentioning how disaster resilience practices contribute to environmental conservation and community well-being in your topic sentences.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing instead on supporting your thesis. Including counterpoints could strengthen your argument by showing a broader understanding of the issue.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay lacks sentences that address counterpoints.
Corrected Sentence:
While some argue that disaster resilience efforts are too costly, the long-term benefits for environmental conservation and community well-being far outweigh the initial investments.
While some argue that disaster resilience efforts are too costly, the long-term benefits for environmental conservation and community well-being far outweigh the initial investments.
Consider including a paragraph that acknowledges potential challenges or criticisms of disaster resilience strategies, and then refute or mitigate these points.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common criticisms or overlooked aspects of disaster resilience and environmental conservation. Acknowledge these points early in your essay, and then provide evidence or reasoning to address and counter these viewpoints. This approach will not only strengthen your argument but also demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-organized, with a clear argument and relevant examples. To further improve, consider adding more detailed examples and a stronger conclusion to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have effectively addressed the question by exploring the connection between disaster resilience, environmental conservation, and community well-being. Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
Good example(s)
For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna.
This sentence effectively illustrates the direct impact of natural disasters on the environment, supporting your argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and logically structured, showing a strong connection between disaster resilience and the well-being of both the environment and communities.
Good example(s)
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health.
This statement effectively encapsulates your position, highlighting the importance of disaster resilience.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and strengthen your argument. However, incorporating more specific instances or data could further enhance your essay.
Good example(s)
Natural catastrophes can diminish and displace entire communities, disrupt the infrastructures of cities, and weaken the economies of states.
This detail effectively shows the broad impact of natural disasters on communities, supporting your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points but could be strengthened by a more compelling call to action or a reflection on the future implications of your findings.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of natural disasters, environmental conservation, and community well-being. You effectively communicate complex ideas using appropriate terminology. However, diversifying your lexical choices could enhance the richness of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
natural disasters 5 times | natural calamities, environmental catastrophes, natural crises |
environment 3 times | ecosystem, natural world, biosphere |
community 3 times | society, population, public |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| disaster resilience The ability of individuals, communities, organizations, and states to adapt to and recover from disasters, hazards, or shocks without compromising long-term prospects for development. | The ability of individuals, communities, organizations, and states to adapt to and recover from disasters, hazards, or shocks without compromising long-term prospects for development. |
| environmental conservation The practice of protecting the natural environment by individuals, organizations, and governments, on behalf of present and future generations. | The practice of protecting the natural environment by individuals, organizations, and governments, on behalf of present and future generations. |
| public well-being The general health, happiness, and safety of the public or a community. | The general health, happiness, and safety of the public or a community. |
| mitigate Make less severe, serious, or painful. | Make less severe, serious, or painful. |
| ecosystem disruption An interruption or disturbance to an ecosystem that disrupts its structure and function. | An interruption or disturbance to an ecosystem that disrupts its structure and function. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with a clear understanding of sentence structure and tense usage. There are no significant grammatical errors to note, which indicates a high level of proficiency in English. However, always ensure to maintain this consistency and perhaps, to further improve, focus on varying your sentence structures even more to add depth to your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences, which makes your writing more engaging and easier to read.
Good example(s)
For instance, the smoke and fumes from the forest fires increase the air pollution; contributing to global warming, earthquakes can destroy the habitats of animals, and tsunamis can disrupt the life cycles of aquatic fauna.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure with multiple clauses to convey several ideas related to the impact of natural disasters, showcasing your ability to handle complex sentence structures.
Tense Usage
The use of tenses in your essay is consistent and correct throughout. You have successfully used the present tense to discuss current issues and the conditional to talk about potential future outcomes.
Good example(s)
Controlling and preparing to mitigate natural disasters is necessary to minimize environmental issues and to ensure public health.
This sentence correctly uses the present continuous tense to discuss ongoing actions and their importance, which is appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay