Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Discuss the potential positive and negative effects of implementing policies to promote cycling as a mode of transportation for short distances within urban areas.
Some people believe that governments must establish laws to encourage society to use bicycles as a type of transportation for short distances. In my opinion, the positive impacts of this action outweigh the negative aspects of that. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of promoting cycling for urban commutes.
On the one hand, introducing cycling as a kind of transportation not only holds potential health benefits but also tackles environmental issues. Riding bicycles can help individuals maintain a healthy body and keep pains at bay. For instance, if people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will be strong and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood. Moreover, cycling can address environmental problems because bicycles do not need fuels, reducing levels of air pollution. Additionally, increasing cycling may result in declining traffic congestion as a bicycle's size is smaller than a car.
On the other hand, inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians particularly the old one. For example, if old people ride a bicycle, they will not control themselves accurately and they may injure their legs or head, leading to difficult situations for the rest of their lives. Furthermore, bicycle security is less than car security. Consequently, it can increase theft, leading the public to prevent cycling.
In conclusion, it can be evident that although enhancing cycling holds potential drawbacks, the advantages of this action will attract a considerable number of people to use bicycles. Since health benefits and positive environmental impacts have a greater influence on people's lives rather than theft, injuries, and other disadvantages.
On the one hand, introducing cycling as a kind of transportation not only holds potential health benefits but also tackles environmental issues. Riding bicycles can help individuals maintain a healthy body and keep pains at bay. For instance, if people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will be strong and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood. Moreover, cycling can address environmental problems because bicycles do not need fuels, reducing levels of air pollution. Additionally, increasing cycling may result in declining traffic congestion as a bicycle's size is smaller than a car.
On the other hand, inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians particularly the old one. For example, if old people ride a bicycle, they will not control themselves accurately and they may injure their legs or head, leading to difficult situations for the rest of their lives. Furthermore, bicycle security is less than car security. Consequently, it can increase theft, leading the public to prevent cycling.
In conclusion, it can be evident that although enhancing cycling holds potential drawbacks, the advantages of this action will attract a considerable number of people to use bicycles. Since health benefits and positive environmental impacts have a greater influence on people's lives rather than theft, injuries, and other disadvantages.
Submitted on August 11, 2024 at 8:49 AM
Overall Evaluation
7 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both the positive and negative effects of promoting cycling within urban areas for short distances. You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion that restates your position. Your argument that the positives outweigh the negatives is clear throughout the essay. However, to improve your band score, consider providing more specific examples and data to support your arguments. Additionally, pay attention to sentence structure and variety to enhance readability. Work on the precision of language to avoid general statements, such as 'serious damage to both riders and pedestrians,' without specifying what kind of damage. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint but could be strengthened by directly addressing potential counterarguments. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic but could benefit from deeper analysis and more varied language use.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. You effectively use transition phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader through your arguments. However, the essay could be improved by better integrating the discussion of positive and negative effects, perhaps by comparing them more directly within the same paragraphs or by providing a more detailed conclusion that synthesizes these points. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The flow of ideas is logical, moving smoothly from the benefits to the potential drawbacks of promoting cycling, before concluding with a personal opinion. Overall, the structure supports the clarity and effectiveness of the argument. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
On the one hand, introducing cycling as a kind of transportation not only holds potential health benefits but also tackles environmental issues.
This sentence effectively introduces the advantages of cycling, providing a clear transition into discussing the positive aspects.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, try to introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all distinct, with each body paragraph exploring a different side of the issue. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
Moreover, cycling can address environmental problems because bicycles do not need fuels, reducing levels of air pollution.
This sentence effectively supports the paragraph's main idea by providing a specific example of cycling's environmental benefits.
Suggestions
To create more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea. Use examples and evidence to support this idea, and avoid introducing new topics that may distract from the main point.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively links ideas and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there's room for more varied use of these devices to enhance the flow further. Band: 7.0
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, increasing cycling may result in declining traffic congestion as a bicycle's size is smaller than a car.
This sentence effectively uses 'Additionally' to add another point to the argument, enhancing the flow of ideas.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transitions, such as 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' and 'As a result.' This will help to clearly signal the relationship between ideas and paragraphs, making your essay even more coherent.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the direction of your discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of promoting cycling.
Good Sentence(s)
On the one hand, introducing cycling as a kind of transportation not only holds potential health benefits but also tackles environmental issues.
This sentence effectively introduces the positive aspects of promoting cycling, highlighting both health and environmental benefits.
On the other hand, inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians particularly the old one.
This sentence successfully introduces the paragraph discussing the potential negative impacts, making a clear contrast with the previous positive aspects.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use transition words to smoothly connect different sections of your essay, and ensure each topic sentence directly relates to your thesis statement.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints in your essay by dedicating separate paragraphs to discuss the positive and negative effects of promoting cycling. However, the integration of these viewpoints could be improved by providing a more nuanced discussion that directly compares and contrasts these aspects within the same paragraphs.
Bad Sentence(s)
Furthermore, bicycle security is less than car security. Consequently, it can increase theft, leading the public to prevent cycling.
Corrected Sentence:
Furthermore, concerns about bicycle security, which is often perceived as less robust than car security, could potentially increase theft rates. However, implementing secure bike parking and promoting the use of anti-theft devices could mitigate these concerns and encourage more people to cycle.
Furthermore, concerns about bicycle security, which is often perceived as less robust than car security, could potentially increase theft rates. However, implementing secure bike parking and promoting the use of anti-theft devices could mitigate these concerns and encourage more people to cycle.
To strengthen this counterpoint, provide statistics or studies to support the claim, and consider discussing potential solutions to the issue of theft.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints and then use evidence or reasoning to show why your argument still holds stronger. This approach not only demonstrates your understanding of the complexity of the issue but also strengthens your position by directly addressing potential criticisms.
Task Achievement
6.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a good job in addressing the task, presenting both sides of the argument. To improve, consider balancing the discussion more evenly and developing your points with more detailed examples and evidence. Also, be cautious of making broad generalizations without sufficient support.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question directly by discussing both the positive and negative effects of promoting cycling in urban areas. Your introduction clearly states your opinion that the positives outweigh the negatives.
Good example(s)
Riding bicycles can help individuals maintain a healthy body and keep pains at bay.
This sentence effectively highlights a significant positive effect of cycling, directly responding to the essay question.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and leans towards the positive impacts of cycling. However, the development of your position could be strengthened by providing more balanced viewpoints on the negatives.
Good example(s)
Moreover, cycling can address environmental problems because bicycles do not need fuels, reducing levels of air pollution.
This sentence showcases a well-developed argument on the environmental benefits of cycling.
Bad Example(s)
Furthermore, bicycle security is less than car security. Consequently, it can increase theft, leading the public to prevent cycling.
This argument is underdeveloped and lacks supporting evidence or further explanation, weakening your position.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but could be more detailed. For instance, incorporating statistics or studies could strengthen your arguments.
Good example(s)
For instance, if people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will be strong and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood.
This is a good detail as it provides a specific example of how cycling benefits health.
Bad Example(s)
For example, if old people ride a bicycle, they will not control themselves accurately and they may injure their legs or head, leading to difficult situations for the rest of their lives.
This example is overly simplistic and could be perceived as stereotyping, weakening your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your main points effectively but could be more impactful by summarizing the arguments more dynamically or suggesting further implications.
Good example(s)
In conclusion, it can be evident that although enhancing cycling holds potential drawbacks, the advantages of this action will attract a considerable number of people to use bicycles.
This sentence effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing the essay's main argument.
Lexical Resources
7 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, effectively conveying arguments for and against promoting cycling in urban areas. However, to enhance your lexical resource score, consider varying your language more and avoiding repetition. Incorporating a wider range of expressions and synonyms could make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| holds potential | has potential | 'Holds potential' is not incorrect, but 'has potential' is more commonly used in this context. |
| keep pains at bay | prevent pain | 'Keep pains at bay' is less common and slightly awkward; 'prevent pain' is clearer. |
| inspiring people to utilize bicycles | encouraging people to use bicycles | 'Inspiring' is not incorrect, but 'encouraging' is more specific to promoting action. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
cycling 5 times | biking, riding, cycling activities, bicycle use |
bicycle 4 times | bike, cycle |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| mitigate Make less severe, serious, or painful. | Make less severe, serious, or painful. |
| sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; especially referring to environmental practices. | Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; especially referring to environmental practices. |
| urban mobility The movement of people within urban areas using various modes of transportation. | The movement of people within urban areas using various modes of transportation. |
| carbon footprint The amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere as a result of the activities of a particular individual, organization, or community. | The amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere as a result of the activities of a particular individual, organization, or community. |
| public health The health of the population as a whole, especially as monitored, regulated, and promoted by the state. | The health of the population as a whole, especially as monitored, regulated, and promoted by the state. |
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is quite strong, with only minor errors related to capitalization and the use of commas to separate clauses. Your sentence structures are varied, which enhances the readability of your essay. To further improve, focus on refining complex sentence structures and ensuring proper punctuation to avoid run-on sentences or fragments. Additionally, be mindful of using more precise and formal language, such as 'the elderly' instead of 'the old one', to maintain an academic tone.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences exhibit a good range of complexity and variation, effectively contributing to the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. However, there's room for improvement in making some sentences more concise and varied in structure to enhance readability.
Good example(s)
Moreover, cycling can address environmental problems because bicycles do not need fuels, reducing levels of air pollution.
This sentence effectively combines cause and effect with a solution, showcasing complexity in structure while remaining clear.
Bad Example(s)
Furthermore, bicycle security is less than car security.
This sentence is overly simplistic and could be combined with the following sentence for greater impact and flow.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, aligning well with the essay's analytical nature. You effectively use the present tense to discuss current issues and potential future outcomes.
Good example(s)
Riding bicycles can help individuals maintain a healthy body and keep pains at bay.
This use of the modal verb 'can' appropriately indicates possibility and future potential, which is suitable for the essay's context.
Grammatical Errors
if people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will be strong and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood.
Correction:
If people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will become strong, and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood.
If people ride a bicycle for one or two hours a day, their muscles will become strong, and they will not feel pain in their legs in adulthood.
Capitalization at the beginning of a sentence is required, and a comma before 'and' helps in separating two independent clauses.
inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians particularly the old one.
Correction:
Inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians, particularly the elderly.
Inspiring people to utilize bicycles for their commuting holds the potential for serious damage to both riders and pedestrians, particularly the elderly.
Capitalization at the beginning of a sentence is required, and 'the old one' is vague and grammatically awkward; 'the elderly' is more appropriate and respectful.