Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you agree or disagree that governments should invest more in public transportation infrastructure to encourage a shift away from private vehicle use?
Nowadays, the major cause of pollution is the high usage of fuel-contained vehicles used by the individuals, they use it for their personal purpose and job related works. I agree with the notion that higher officials should spend more time and funds on public transportation rather than other industrial services. This helps to reduce the traffic on roads and lower the global warming.
To begin with, most of the individuals choose their private motors rather than using the public transport. This leads to the high traffic jams and increase the air pollution. Additionally, it has some benefits for individuals like they have rights to use their vehicles whenever they need and not necessary to wait for bus or train to reach their destination. Usually, public transports are overcrowded and it will not keep up with proper time moreover, some people feel tired and stressed while they took the public transportations.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days. Firstly, the system should create awareness about the pollution and ozone depletion caused by the vehicles towards the public. Secondly, the government should free up the cost of fair to utilize the public transportation that may attract the people to use. For instance, the Indian government launched the scheme about the public service which states that the government buses are free to ladies and senior citizens, it has the positive impact on public which promotes the public transportation.
In conclusion, although using private automobile may have several advantages in critical situation for individuals, I believe that government should take steps and concentrate on public department to reduce the pollution and promote the public transportation to avoid major causes.
To begin with, most of the individuals choose their private motors rather than using the public transport. This leads to the high traffic jams and increase the air pollution. Additionally, it has some benefits for individuals like they have rights to use their vehicles whenever they need and not necessary to wait for bus or train to reach their destination. Usually, public transports are overcrowded and it will not keep up with proper time moreover, some people feel tired and stressed while they took the public transportations.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days. Firstly, the system should create awareness about the pollution and ozone depletion caused by the vehicles towards the public. Secondly, the government should free up the cost of fair to utilize the public transportation that may attract the people to use. For instance, the Indian government launched the scheme about the public service which states that the government buses are free to ladies and senior citizens, it has the positive impact on public which promotes the public transportation.
In conclusion, although using private automobile may have several advantages in critical situation for individuals, I believe that government should take steps and concentrate on public department to reduce the pollution and promote the public transportation to avoid major causes.
Submitted on July 1, 2024 at 11:27 AM
Overall Evaluation
6.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear stance in agreement with the government investing more in public transportation. You provide a balanced view by acknowledging the convenience of private vehicles but argue convincingly for the benefits of enhanced public transport systems. To improve, focus on refining your essay structure for clarity and coherence. Ensure each paragraph presents a single idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures to enhance readability. Enhancing your argument with more diverse examples and possibly statistics could strengthen your position. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with room for improvement in execution for a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6.5
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear position with a logical flow of ideas, supporting your argument effectively. Overall, your structure aligns well with the requirements of an IELTS Task 2 essay. However, there's room for improvement in connecting your ideas more cohesively to enhance readability and impact. Your argument would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the counterpoints to strengthen its persuasiveness. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days.
This sentence effectively transitions to a new paragraph, introducing an opposing viewpoint that enriches the essay's argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
This helps to reduce the traffic on roads and lower the global warming.
Corrected Sentence:
Investing in public transportation helps to reduce road traffic and lower global warming by decreasing the number of private vehicles in use.
Investing in public transportation helps to reduce road traffic and lower global warming by decreasing the number of private vehicles in use.
Clarify and expand on how investing in public transportation achieves these outcomes.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, focus on developing each idea fully before moving to the next. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Concluding sentences can help to summarize the paragraph's main point and link to the next idea.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are generally clear and structured around central ideas. However, some paragraphs could be more focused, with a clearer separation of ideas to avoid confusion. Band: 6.0
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, the system should create awareness about the pollution and ozone depletion caused by the vehicles towards the public.
This sentence effectively introduces a new idea within the paragraph, providing a clear direction for the argument.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph focus by ensuring each paragraph contains a single main idea. Begin with a topic sentence, followed by explanation, evidence, and examples. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect paragraphs and maintain the flow of your argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more varied to improve the flow of your essay. While you have used some devices effectively, incorporating a wider range of devices could enhance the coherence of your argument. Band: 6.0
Good Sentence(s)
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days.
This sentence uses a contrastive cohesive device effectively to introduce an alternative viewpoint, enhancing the structure of the argument.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a variety of transition words and phrases that signal different relationships between ideas, such as addition, contrast, cause and effect, and sequence. Practice using these in sentences to ensure they fit naturally and enhance the readability of your essay.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally set up the paragraphs well, indicating the direction of your argument effectively.
Good Sentence(s)
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days.
This sentence effectively transitions to discussing the benefits of government investment in public transportation, clearly indicating the shift in focus.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with, most of the individuals choose their private motors rather than using the public transport.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, the preference for private vehicles over public transport significantly contributes to traffic congestion and pollution, highlighting the need for enhanced public transportation infrastructure.
To begin with, the preference for private vehicles over public transport significantly contributes to traffic congestion and pollution, highlighting the need for enhanced public transportation infrastructure.
Clarify the connection to the thesis more explicitly and introduce the idea of solving traffic and pollution issues.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and ensure each topic sentence directly supports your overall argument. Avoid vague language by being specific about what the paragraph will discuss.
Counter Points
You have attempted to address counterpoints, particularly by acknowledging the convenience of private vehicles, but the integration of these viewpoints could be improved for a more balanced argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
Additionally, it has some benefits for individuals like they have rights to use their vehicles whenever they need and not necessary to wait for bus or train to reach their destination.
Corrected Sentence:
While individuals benefit from the convenience of using their vehicles at any time, this advantage is outweighed by the environmental and social benefits of public transportation, which offers a sustainable solution to urban congestion and pollution.
While individuals benefit from the convenience of using their vehicles at any time, this advantage is outweighed by the environmental and social benefits of public transportation, which offers a sustainable solution to urban congestion and pollution.
Expand on this counterpoint by explaining why it might not outweigh the benefits of public transportation, then transition smoothly back to your main argument.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge them fully before refuting them with evidence or a broader perspective. Use phrases like 'Although it is true that...,' followed by 'however,' to transition back to your main argument. This structure demonstrates critical thinking and strengthens your position.
Task Achievement
6.5 Bands
Overall, you have addressed the task well, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. However, to improve, focus on deepening your argument with more detailed analysis and a wider range of examples. Also, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure variety in sentence structures for a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have clearly understood the question and provided a direct opinion in agreement with the statement. Your essay consistently maintains focus on the topic.
Good example(s)
I agree with the notion that higher officials should spend more time and funds on public transportation rather than other industrial services.
This sentence directly answers the essay question, clearly stating your position.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear but could be strengthened with more detailed explanations and a wider range of arguments. The position is somewhat developed but lacks depth in places.
Good example(s)
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days.
Shows a clear stance and introduces a new angle on the argument.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but somewhat generic. Including specific, real-world examples could enhance your argument.
Good example(s)
For instance, the Indian government launched the scheme about the public service which states that the government buses are free to ladies and senior citizens, it has the positive impact on public which promotes the public transportation.
This is a specific example that supports your argument effectively.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well but could be more impactful by reinforcing your stance and summarizing the key points more strongly.
Good example(s)
In conclusion, although using private automobile may have several advantages in critical situation for individuals, I believe that government should take steps and concentrate on public department to reduce the pollution and promote the public transportation to avoid major causes.
It restates your position and summarizes the argument effectively.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of public transportation and its impact on society and the environment. However, there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety to enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| fuel-contained vehicles | fuel-powered vehicles | 'Fuel-contained' is not a common term. 'Fuel-powered' is widely understood and accurate. |
| higher officials | government officials | 'Higher officials' is vague; 'government officials' specifically addresses the relevant authorities. |
| cost of fair | cost of fare | 'Fair' is incorrect in this context; 'fare' refers to the money paid for a journey. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
public transportation 5 times | public transit, mass transit, communal transport |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sustainable mobility Forms of transport that meet current transport and mobility needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet these needs. | Forms of transport that meet current transport and mobility needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet these needs. |
| carbon footprint The total amount of greenhouse gases (including carbon dioxide and methane) that are generated by our actions. | The total amount of greenhouse gases (including carbon dioxide and methane) that are generated by our actions. |
| urban sprawl The uncontrolled expansion of urban areas. | The uncontrolled expansion of urban areas. |
| incentivize To provide incentives or encouragement to do something. | To provide incentives or encouragement to do something. |
| congestion The situation in which an area is crowded with vehicles or people, often leading to delays. | The situation in which an area is crowded with vehicles or people, often leading to delays. |
Out of Context
free up the cost of fair
Corrected Sentence:
subsidize the cost of fare
subsidize the cost of fare
Discussing the advantages of public transportation and the disadvantages of private vehicles.
Grammatical Range
6 Bands
Overall, your grammar shows a good foundation, but attention to detail is needed to avoid errors that can detract from your argument's clarity and persuasiveness. Paying closer attention to subject-verb agreement, proper word choice (e.g., 'fare' instead of 'fair'), and avoiding run-on sentences will help improve your writing. Additionally, incorporating more complex sentence structures can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at varying sentence structures, but it could benefit from more complexity and variation to enhance readability and interest. Incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences more effectively could improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
Good example(s)
On the other hand, I firmly believe that government should foster the public transportation to avoid major accidents and traffic jam on busy days.
This sentence is a good example because it effectively uses a complex structure to introduce a contrasting viewpoint, enhancing the argument's depth.
Bad Example(s)
This helps to reduce the traffic on roads and lower the global warming.
The structure is overly simplistic and could be integrated into a more complex sentence to provide a more detailed and persuasive argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and appropriate for the essay's argumentative style. However, there are instances where tense consistency could be improved to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Grammatical Errors
the high usage of fuel-contained vehicles used by the individuals, they use it for their personal purpose and job related works.
Correction:
the high usage of fuel-powered vehicles by individuals for their personal and job-related purposes.
the high usage of fuel-powered vehicles by individuals for their personal and job-related purposes.
The original sentence is awkwardly phrased and contains a comma splice. The correction simplifies and clarifies the statement.
the government should free up the cost of fair to utilize the public transportation
Correction:
the government should subsidize the cost of fares to encourage the use of public transportation
the government should subsidize the cost of fares to encourage the use of public transportation
The original phrasing is unclear and incorrectly uses 'fair' instead of 'fare'. The correction clarifies the intended meaning.