Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Two-part Question Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Discuss the relationship between agriculture and water pollution, and propose ways to promote sustainable farming practices that minimize water contamination.
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause. In this essay, I will talk about how farming activities leads to water contamination and what can we do to more sustainable farming.
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution. This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants. Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use. Another problem is animal waste from farms end up in water bodies, which makes the water dirty.
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things. They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones. This is better for the water because natural products don't have harmful chemicals. Also, farmers need to manage waste properly. They should make sure that animal wastes does not go into the water. Another good idea is to plant trees and plants near rivers and lakes. This can help stop the chemicals from going into the water. Also, using water carefully and having good irigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce. If farmers use natural products, plant trees near water and use water wisely, it help a lot. It's important for everyone to work together to keep our water clean.
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution. This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants. Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use. Another problem is animal waste from farms end up in water bodies, which makes the water dirty.
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things. They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones. This is better for the water because natural products don't have harmful chemicals. Also, farmers need to manage waste properly. They should make sure that animal wastes does not go into the water. Another good idea is to plant trees and plants near rivers and lakes. This can help stop the chemicals from going into the water. Also, using water carefully and having good irigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce. If farmers use natural products, plant trees near water and use water wisely, it help a lot. It's important for everyone to work together to keep our water clean.
Submitted on November 10, 2024 at 2:26 PM
Overall Evaluation
6 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic of the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and suggests solutions for promoting sustainable farming practices. The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are several areas for improvement.
1. **Task Response (Band 6.0):** You have addressed the task by discussing the causes of water pollution from agriculture and proposing solutions. However, the essay could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. For instance, you could elaborate on how natural fertilizers work or provide examples of successful sustainable farming practices.
2. **Coherence and Cohesion (Band 6.5):** The essay is generally well-organized, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing chemical fertilizers to animal waste could be more seamless. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more explicitly.
3. **Lexical Resource (Band 6.0):** The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat limited. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to agriculture and environmental issues to enhance your essay. Avoid repetition of words like 'water' and 'chemicals' by using synonyms or related terms.
4. **Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 5.5):** There are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ('is' instead of 'are'), subject-verb agreement issues ('this chemicals' should be 'these chemicals'), and articles ('a major reason' instead of 'major reason'). Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy.
Overall, your essay provides a basic response to the task, but with more detailed content, improved vocabulary, and grammatical accuracy, it could achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas can be improved by providing more detailed explanations and linking ideas more effectively.
Good Sentence(s)
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things.
This sentence effectively introduces the solutions section, providing a clear transition from problem identification to problem-solving.
Bad Sentence(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
Corrected Sentence:
Water pollution is a significant problem, and agriculture is one of the main causes.
Water pollution is a significant problem, and agriculture is one of the main causes.
Clarify the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and ensure grammatical accuracy.
This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants.
Corrected Sentence:
These chemicals get washed away into rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
These chemicals get washed away into rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs are somewhat clear but could be better structured. Each paragraph should focus more clearly on a single aspect of the topic.
Good Sentence(s)
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce.
This sentence effectively summarizes the main argument and provides a transition to the conclusion.
Bad Sentence(s)
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
Corrected Sentence:
Firstly, the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides in farming is a major reason for water pollution.
Firstly, the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides in farming is a major reason for water pollution.
Ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Suggestions
Focus on developing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Cohesive Devices
The use of cohesive devices is limited and could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas.
Bad Sentence(s)
Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use.
Corrected Sentence:
Additionally, this polluted water is unsuitable for human use.
Additionally, this polluted water is unsuitable for human use.
Use more precise language and cohesive devices to connect ideas.
Suggestions
To improve the use of cohesive devices, incorporate more linking words and phrases such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'as a result' to connect ideas and sentences more effectively.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences are clear but could be more specific and engaging. They introduce the main ideas but lack depth and complexity.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
This sentence effectively introduces the main idea of the paragraph, setting the stage for further elaboration.
Bad Sentence(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
Corrected Sentence:
Water pollution poses a significant environmental challenge, with agriculture being a primary contributor.
Water pollution poses a significant environmental challenge, with agriculture being a primary contributor.
Make the sentence more specific and engaging by highlighting the significance of the issue.
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things.
Corrected Sentence:
To address these issues, farmers can implement several sustainable practices.
To address these issues, farmers can implement several sustainable practices.
Specify the actions and their impact more clearly.
Suggestions
Ensure your topic sentences are specific and clearly outline the main point of the paragraph. Use engaging language to capture the reader's attention.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address counterpoints, which is a missed opportunity to strengthen your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
N/A
Corrected Sentence:
While some may argue that switching to natural fertilizers is costly, the long-term benefits to water quality and ecosystem health outweigh the initial expenses.
While some may argue that switching to natural fertilizers is costly, the long-term benefits to water quality and ecosystem health outweigh the initial expenses.
Introduce potential counterarguments, such as the economic challenges of switching to sustainable practices, and address them.
Suggestions
Consider potential objections to your proposals and address them. This can involve acknowledging the challenges and providing solutions or justifications.
Task Achievement
5.5 Bands
Overall, you addressed the task by discussing the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and proposing solutions. However, the essay would benefit from more detailed examples, deeper analysis, and a stronger conclusion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Response to Question
You addressed the question by discussing the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and proposed solutions for sustainable farming. However, the essay could benefit from more depth and specific examples.
Bad Example(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
This sentence is too simplistic and lacks depth. It could be expanded to provide more context and detail.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear, but it could be stronger with more detailed explanations and examples.
Good example(s)
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
This sentence clearly introduces a key point about the causes of water pollution related to agriculture.
Bad Example(s)
Another problem is animal waste from farms end up in water bodies, which makes the water dirty.
This point is valid but lacks depth and specificity. It could be expanded with examples or data.
Supporting Details
The examples provided are relevant but lack depth and specificity. More detailed examples or data would strengthen the essay.
Bad Example(s)
They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones.
This suggestion is good but lacks explanation on how natural fertilizers are better and examples of such fertilizers.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more impactful with a stronger call to action or a broader perspective.
Bad Example(s)
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce.
The conclusion is too brief and lacks a strong closing statement or broader implications.
Lexical Resources
5.5 Bands
The essay uses basic vocabulary effectively to convey the main ideas. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision of language.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| This chemicals | These chemicals | The word 'chemicals' is plural, so it should be preceded by 'these' instead of 'this'. |
| netural fertilizer | natural fertilizer | The correct spelling is 'natural', not 'netural'. |
| irigation | irrigation | The correct spelling is 'irrigation'. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
water 9 times | aquatic, liquid, H2O, resource |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| eutrophication The process by which a body of water becomes overly enriched with minerals and nutrients, which induce excessive growth of algae. | The process by which a body of water becomes overly enriched with minerals and nutrients, which induce excessive growth of algae. |
| biodegradable Capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms. | Capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms. |
| buffer zones Areas of land maintained to enhance the protection of water bodies from pollution. | Areas of land maintained to enhance the protection of water bodies from pollution. |
| sustainable agriculture Farming practices that meet current food needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet theirs. | Farming practices that meet current food needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet theirs. |
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Your grammar needs improvement, particularly in subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and spelling. Pay attention to these areas to enhance clarity and coherence. Consider using more varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentence structures are mostly simple and lack variety. The essay would benefit from more complex and compound sentences to enhance readability and engagement.
Bad Example(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
This sentence is too simple and lacks complexity. It could be improved by using a more complex structure, such as using a relative clause or additional details.
This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants.
The sentence structure is awkward due to incorrect subject-verb agreement and could be more complex.
Tense Usage
Your tense usage is mostly consistent, but there are a few errors that need attention. The essay primarily uses the present tense, which is appropriate for the topic.
Good example(s)
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce.
The use of present tense is appropriate for stating a general fact.
Bad Example(s)
In this essay, I will talk about how farming activities leads to water contamination and what can we do to more sustainable farming.
The use of 'leads' should be 'lead' to match the plural subject 'activities'.
Grammatical Errors
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
Correction:
Water pollution is a big problem, and agriculture is one of the main causes.
Water pollution is a big problem, and agriculture is one of the main causes.
The sentence lacks a comma before 'and' and 'cause' should be plural to match 'one of the'.
This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants.
Correction:
These chemicals get washed away to rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
These chemicals get washed away to rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
The subject 'chemicals' is plural, so it should be 'get', and 'river and lakes' should be plural.
They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones.
Correction:
They should use natural fertilizers instead of chemical ones.
They should use natural fertilizers instead of chemical ones.
The word 'netural' is a typo and should be 'natural'.
They should make sure that animal wastes does not go into the water.
Correction:
They should make sure that animal waste does not go into the water.
They should make sure that animal waste does not go into the water.
The word 'wastes' should be singular 'waste' to match the verb 'does'.
Also, using water carefully and having good irigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
Correction:
Also, using water carefully and having good irrigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
Also, using water carefully and having good irrigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
The word 'irigation' is a typo and should be 'irrigation'.