Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: Satellite technology plays a critical role in communication, navigation, and weather forecasting. Analyze the significance of satellites in modern society.

The world has become a global village, one of the reasons behind this increasing globalization is the development of satellites. It is the satellite systems that have made possible the modern ways in which we communicate with each other, navigate the world around us, and analyze weather possibilities. This essay will discuss the crucial part satellites play in the modern world.

First of all, the most important thing that this advanced machinery has made so much easier for us is communication. It is the basic requirement of our day-to-day lives, and it is hard to imagine a single day without it. Today, we are able to talk to anyone despite the geographical barriers, that is because cell phones and online communication has shrinked distances. Whether, we want to talk to our loved ones living across the seven seas, or stay in constant touch with them, none of these is a problem in the modern civilization because of the invention of satellites.

Another way satellite technology has transformed our lifestyles is through navigation system. Gone are the days when travelling into unfamiliar cities used to be intimidating, with online maps, we can explore any part of the world without the fear of getting lost. Furthermore, with google and apple navigation apps, we can have the 3D maps of any country right in front of our eyes, and familiarize ourselves with the roads and paths even before actually flying to that state. This advanced navigation technology is materialized with help of satellites.

Coming to the weather forecasting, with the advanced machinery in space that foresee all the weather changes possible in coming weeks, humans are able to predict the weather. Knowing about the potential weather changes in the future helps us plan and prepare for it accordingly. This means that we can prepare ourselves to deal with major weather fluctuations, causing natural calamities, as well, which can be life-saving. Moreover, scientists are able to warn us about an upcoming blizard, tornado, or a massive meteor heading towards earth, due to the reports they recieve from satellites. This can help us avoid such castastrophes.

Satellite technology has altered our lives and shaped modern society in more ways than we know. It has played a big role in the globalization of the world, including making communication, travelling, and preparing for weather changes far easier than they used to be.
Submitted on July 26, 2024 at 3:51 PM

Overall Evaluation

7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively outlines the significance of satellite technology in modern society, covering key areas such as communication, navigation, and weather forecasting. You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each point in detail, and a concise conclusion that summarizes the essay's main points. Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate the critical role of satellite technology. However, to further improve your essay, consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic proficiency. Additionally, including specific examples or case studies could strengthen your arguments. Overall, your essay is informative and addresses the question directly, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with each paragraph logically flowing into the next. The use of transition words like 'First of all,' 'Another way,' and 'Coming to' helps guide the reader through your discussion. However, to improve, try linking back to your thesis more explicitly in each topic sentence and conclusion to reinforce the central argument. Additionally, varying your sentence structure more could enhance readability and engagement.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively discussing the significance of satellite technology in modern society. The progression from communication to navigation and finally to weather forecasting illustrates a well-thought-out flow of ideas.

Good Sentence(s)

Another way satellite technology has transformed our lifestyles is through navigation system.
This sentence effectively transitions the essay from discussing communication to exploring the impact of satellites on navigation, maintaining a logical flow.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression in future essays, consider using more explicit transition phrases that signal a shift from one idea to the next, such as 'In addition to communication, satellites also play a vital role in...' This will help to make the structure of your argument even clearer to the reader.

Paragraphing

The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which is elaborated on with examples and explanations.

Suggestions

For creating more focused and coherent paragraphs, you might consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph. This will help readers understand the primary focus right away.

Cohesive Devices

Your use of cohesive devices effectively links ideas and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. Phrases like 'First of all,' 'Another way,' and 'Coming to' help guide the reader through your argument.

Good Sentence(s)

Coming to the weather forecasting, with the advanced machinery in space that foresee all the weather changes possible in coming weeks, humans are able to predict the weather.
This sentence effectively introduces a new section of the essay, using a cohesive device to transition smoothly to the topic of weather forecasting.

Suggestions

To further improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying your transitional phrases to avoid repetition and to keep the reader engaged. Additionally, linking back to previous ideas can help reinforce the connections between different parts of your essay.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, clearly outlining the areas of communication, navigation, and weather forecasting where satellite technology plays a crucial role.

Good Sentence(s)

First of all, the most important thing that this advanced machinery has made so much easier for us is communication.
This sentence clearly introduces the paragraph's focus on communication, indicating its importance in the modern world facilitated by satellites.
Another way satellite technology has transformed our lifestyles is through navigation system.
It effectively transitions to a new area (navigation) where satellite technology has had a significant impact, maintaining the essay's flow.
Coming to the weather forecasting, with the advanced machinery in space that foresee all the weather changes possible in coming weeks, humans are able to predict the weather.
This sentence adeptly introduces the topic of weather forecasting, highlighting the predictive capabilities enabled by satellite technology.

Suggestions

To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the paragraph’s main idea. Follow this with a brief explanation or introduction to how you will discuss or support this idea. Your essay demonstrates this well, but ensure each topic sentence directly relates to the thesis statement for even greater clarity.

Counter Points

Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing instead on the positive impacts of satellite technology.

Suggestions

To integrate counterarguments effectively, consider mentioning potential criticisms or limitations of satellite technology, such as privacy concerns or dependency issues. Then, refute these points or discuss how they are being addressed. This will strengthen your argument by showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. You clearly articulated the importance of satellite technology across different facets of modern life. To enhance your essay, consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics to support your claims. Additionally, refining your conclusion to include a forward-looking statement could make your argument even more compelling.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You effectively addressed the question, providing a comprehensive analysis of the significance of satellites in modern society. Your essay covers key areas where satellite technology plays a critical role, such as communication, navigation, and weather forecasting.

Good example(s)

Today, we are able to talk to anyone despite the geographical barriers, that is because cell phones and online communication has shrinked distances.
This sentence clearly illustrates the critical role of satellite technology in global communication.

Development of Position

Your argument is clear and strong. You have effectively developed your position by discussing how satellite technology impacts various aspects of modern life.

Good example(s)

Another way satellite technology has transformed our lifestyles is through navigation system.
This sentence effectively introduces a new point, enhancing the development of your argument.

Supporting Details

Your examples and explanations are relevant and support your argument well. However, incorporating more specific examples or data could strengthen your essay further.

Good example(s)

Moreover, scientists are able to warn us about an upcoming blizard, tornado, or a massive meteor heading towards earth, due to the reports they recieve from satellites.
This detail effectively illustrates the importance of satellite technology in weather forecasting and disaster prevention.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing the significance of satellite technology in modern society. However, a stronger call to action or a glimpse into future implications could provide more punch.

Good example(s)

Satellite technology has altered our lives and shaped modern society in more ways than we know.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the overall argument of your essay.

Lexical Resources

7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively utilizes a range of vocabulary pertinent to the topic of satellite technology and its impact on modern society. The language is generally clear, and you successfully convey the significance of satellites in various aspects of daily life. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your lexical choices.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Lexical Mistakes

MistakeCorrectionReason
shrinked shrunkIncorrect past participle form of 'shrink'.
blizard blizzardSpelling error.
castastrophes catastrophesSpelling error.
recieve receiveSpelling error.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
satellites 9 times
satellite systems, space technology, orbital devices
modern 5 times
contemporary, current, today's
navigation 3 times
guidance, positioning, mapping

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
globalization The process by which businesses or other organizations develop international influence or start operating on an international scale.
telecommunications Communication over a distance by cable, telegraph, telephone, or broadcasting.
meteorological Related to the science that deals with the phenomena of the atmosphere, especially weather and weather conditions.
geospatial Relating to or denoting data that is associated with a particular location.
cataclysmic Relating to or denoting a violent natural event.

Grammatical Range

7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with a few minor errors related to spelling and capitalization. Paying attention to these details can further polish your essay. Your effective use of a variety of sentence structures and correct tense usage significantly contributes to the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your sentences exhibit a good range of complexity and variation, effectively maintaining the reader's interest throughout the essay.

Good example(s)

Furthermore, with google and apple navigation apps, we can have the 3D maps of any country right in front of our eyes, and familiarize ourselves with the roads and paths even before actually flying to that state.
This sentence effectively combines multiple ideas with clarity and uses compound structures to add depth to the argument.

Tense Usage

Your use of tenses is consistent and correct throughout the essay, effectively conveying your arguments in a clear temporal framework.

Good example(s)

It is the satellite systems that have made possible the modern ways in which we communicate with each other, navigate the world around us, and analyze weather possibilities.
This sentence correctly uses the present perfect tense to discuss accomplishments that have relevance to the current state of affairs.

Grammatical Errors

shrinked distances
Correction:
shrunk distances
The correct past participle form of 'shrink' is 'shrunk'.
with google and apple navigation apps
Correction:
With Google and Apple navigation apps
Brand names should be capitalized.
blizard
Correction:
blizzard
Misspelling of 'blizzard'.
recieve
Correction:
receive
Misspelling of 'receive'. The correct spelling follows the 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' rule.
castastrophes
Correction:
catastrophes
Misspelling of 'catastrophes'.