Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Two-part Question Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Medical advancements have increased life expectancy in many parts of the world. What challenges might arise as a result of an aging population, and how can they be addressed?
The aging population, a result of increased life expectancy, presents several challenges. Healthcare strain is a primary concern, as older adults often require more medical care for chronic conditions. To address this, healthcare systems must focus on preventative care and expand telemedicine and digital health tools to improve access and efficiency. Additionally, training more healthcare professionals, especially in geriatrics, is crucial.
Economically, an aging population means a shrinking workforce, leading to labor shortages and increased pension costs. Solutions include encouraging longer work lives by offering flexible work options and providing retraining programs for older workers. Automation and AI can also fill labor gaps, improving productivity without relying solely on human workers.
Social isolation is another issue, as elderly people often experience loneliness, which negatively affects both mental and physical health. To combat this, communities should foster social engagement programs, while technology can help seniors stay connected to loved ones. Designing age-friendly urban spaces can also encourage social interaction.
Finally, the demand for caregiving increases as more people need assistance with daily activities. Addressing this involves expanding access to professional caregiving services and supporting family caregivers with resources and respite care. By tackling these challenges, societies can better manage the consequences of an aging population while ensuring a high quality of life for older adults.
Economically, an aging population means a shrinking workforce, leading to labor shortages and increased pension costs. Solutions include encouraging longer work lives by offering flexible work options and providing retraining programs for older workers. Automation and AI can also fill labor gaps, improving productivity without relying solely on human workers.
Social isolation is another issue, as elderly people often experience loneliness, which negatively affects both mental and physical health. To combat this, communities should foster social engagement programs, while technology can help seniors stay connected to loved ones. Designing age-friendly urban spaces can also encourage social interaction.
Finally, the demand for caregiving increases as more people need assistance with daily activities. Addressing this involves expanding access to professional caregiving services and supporting family caregivers with resources and respite care. By tackling these challenges, societies can better manage the consequences of an aging population while ensuring a high quality of life for older adults.
Submitted on May 2, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the challenges posed by an aging population and offers practical solutions. The structure is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a specific challenge and corresponding solutions. You have covered key areas such as healthcare, economic implications, social isolation, and caregiving. The use of examples like telemedicine, flexible work options, and age-friendly urban spaces adds depth to your argument. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or data to support your points, which would strengthen your arguments further. Additionally, ensure that your language remains formal and precise throughout. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view of the challenges and solutions related to an aging population.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay is logically organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific challenge posed by an aging population and offering corresponding solutions.
Good Sentence(s)
Healthcare strain is a primary concern, as older adults often require more medical care for chronic conditions.
This sentence clearly introduces the problem and sets up the discussion for solutions.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the challenges and solutions related to an aging population.
Good Sentence(s)
Economically, an aging population means a shrinking workforce, leading to labor shortages and increased pension costs.
This sentence effectively introduces the economic challenges, setting the stage for the solutions discussed in the paragraph.
Suggestions
To create more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next, maintaining a clear connection between them.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, with appropriate transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, training more healthcare professionals, especially in geriatrics, is crucial.
The use of 'additionally' effectively connects this solution to the previous point, maintaining the flow of ideas.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying your transitions to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of your essay.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences are generally clear and effectively introduce the main points of each paragraph.
Good Sentence(s)
Healthcare strain is a primary concern, as older adults often require more medical care for chronic conditions.
This sentence clearly introduces the challenge of healthcare strain and sets the stage for discussing solutions.
Economically, an aging population means a shrinking workforce, leading to labor shortages and increased pension costs.
This sentence effectively outlines the economic challenges posed by an aging population.
Suggestions
Ensure each topic sentence clearly states the main idea of the paragraph and connects to the overall thesis. Use specific language to highlight the challenge and hint at the solution.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address counterpoints or contrasting viewpoints.
Bad Sentence(s)
The essay lacks explicit counterpoints.
Corrected Sentence:
While an aging population presents challenges, it also offers opportunities, such as increased wisdom and experience in the workforce.
While an aging population presents challenges, it also offers opportunities, such as increased wisdom and experience in the workforce.
Include a sentence acknowledging potential opposing views, such as the benefits of an aging population.
Suggestions
To effectively address counterarguments, acknowledge them briefly and then refute or integrate them into your argument. This shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you did a great job addressing the task. Your essay is well-organized, and you provided clear arguments and solutions. To improve, consider adding specific examples or data to further substantiate your points.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question effectively by identifying key challenges of an aging population and proposing solutions. Your essay is well-structured and covers multiple aspects of the issue.
Good example(s)
Healthcare strain is a primary concern, as older adults often require more medical care for chronic conditions.
This sentence clearly identifies a major challenge associated with an aging population, directly addressing the question.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and well-developed. You effectively outlined the challenges and provided logical solutions, making your position strong.
Good example(s)
Solutions include encouraging longer work lives by offering flexible work options and providing retraining programs for older workers.
This sentence provides a clear solution to the economic challenge of a shrinking workforce, showing a strong development of position.
Supporting Details
The examples and solutions you provided were relevant and supported your arguments well. However, adding specific examples or data could strengthen your points further.
Good example(s)
Automation and AI can also fill labor gaps, improving productivity without relying solely on human workers.
This detail supports the argument about economic challenges and solutions, providing a practical example.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the importance of addressing the challenges of an aging population.
Good example(s)
By tackling these challenges, societies can better manage the consequences of an aging population while ensuring a high quality of life for older adults.
This conclusion ties together the essay's arguments and emphasizes the importance of the proposed solutions.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good command of lexical resources, with appropriate use of vocabulary related to healthcare, economics, and social issues. The language is clear and precise, effectively conveying the challenges and solutions associated with an aging population.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
aging 3 times | elderly, senior, older generation |
care 4 times | treatment, assistance, support |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| demographic shift A change in the population structure, often referring to age distribution. | A change in the population structure, often referring to age distribution. |
| gerontology The study of aging and the problems of older individuals. | The study of aging and the problems of older individuals. |
| socioeconomic impact The effect on both social and economic aspects of society. | The effect on both social and economic aspects of society. |
| intergenerational Relating to, involving, or affecting several generations. | Relating to, involving, or affecting several generations. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Your grammar is strong, with no noticeable errors. The essay is clear and concise, effectively using complex structures without sacrificing clarity.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences are generally well-structured with a good mix of complex and simple sentences. However, some sentences could be more varied in structure to enhance readability.
Good example(s)
To address this, healthcare systems must focus on preventative care and expand telemedicine and digital health tools to improve access and efficiency.
This sentence is well-structured, clearly presenting a problem and a solution with varied clauses.
Bad Example(s)
Economically, an aging population means a shrinking workforce, leading to labor shortages and increased pension costs.
The sentence could be broken into two for clarity, as it tries to convey multiple ideas in one go.
Tense Usage
Your tense usage is consistent and appropriate throughout the essay. You correctly use present tense to discuss current issues and solutions.
Good example(s)
Solutions include encouraging longer work lives by offering flexible work options and providing retraining programs for older workers.
The present tense is used effectively to discuss ongoing solutions.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay