Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you agree that the primary goal of advancements in science should be to enhance the quality of human life?
The main goal of improvement and development in science is to advance the quality of human life. when the branches of science flourish that makes the human life more easy and restful. in the developed countries where experiments and researches have done on the society and that help the advancement in science and that leads to increase the comfort level of the people.
i agree with the statement given above that the positive changes and advancement in science must increase the quality of human life. when scientist wants to introduce new invention in the world they work on the needs of the people they search and then try to make advance thing for the use of people. when science modifies and leads to develop new things in the society that will improve the human health , education system , living system beside these all the important sides of life got positive effect by the advancement of science.
however positive improvement in science effects the economical setup of the country that also leads to the gentle improvement in the quality of human life. as the mentioned above that new machines are introduce in different industries make the life of human easy and machines work more efficiently then the human. soo the product produces more easily and effectively in less time.
according to the above writing the best example i want to write here is the agriculture of the country the people in old days used to harvest with hands and that was tame taken procedure but now because of advancement through science make human life easy that harvestmen done with machines and in less time.
nevertheless i agree with the statement and my writing proves that life of human got highly positive impact by the advancement in science.
i agree with the statement given above that the positive changes and advancement in science must increase the quality of human life. when scientist wants to introduce new invention in the world they work on the needs of the people they search and then try to make advance thing for the use of people. when science modifies and leads to develop new things in the society that will improve the human health , education system , living system beside these all the important sides of life got positive effect by the advancement of science.
however positive improvement in science effects the economical setup of the country that also leads to the gentle improvement in the quality of human life. as the mentioned above that new machines are introduce in different industries make the life of human easy and machines work more efficiently then the human. soo the product produces more easily and effectively in less time.
according to the above writing the best example i want to write here is the agriculture of the country the people in old days used to harvest with hands and that was tame taken procedure but now because of advancement through science make human life easy that harvestmen done with machines and in less time.
nevertheless i agree with the statement and my writing proves that life of human got highly positive impact by the advancement in science.
Submitted on February 15, 2024 at 7:43 AM
Overall Evaluation
6 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, highlighting the positive impacts of scientific advancements on human life. You provide relevant examples, such as improvements in agriculture and industry, to support your argument. However, there are areas for improvement. Firstly, pay attention to your writing style; the use of proper capitalization and punctuation is crucial for clarity and professionalism. Additionally, your essay could benefit from a more structured organization, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This would help in presenting your arguments more coherently. Lastly, consider expanding your discussion to include potential drawbacks or challenges associated with scientific advancements, to provide a more balanced view. Overall, your enthusiasm for the subject is evident, and with some refinements, your writing can become more impactful.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6
Coherence & Cohesion
6 Bands
Your essay maintains a general focus on the positive impacts of scientific advancements, which aids its coherence. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. Some sentences are overly long and could be simplified for better readability. Additionally, addressing counterpoints and providing more specific examples could enhance both coherence and cohesion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more structured to enhance coherence.
Good Sentence(s)
I agree with the statement given above that the positive changes and advancement in science must increase the quality of human life.
This sentence effectively introduces your agreement with the main idea, setting a clear direction for your essay.
Bad Sentence(s)
when the branches of science flourish that makes the human life more easy and restful.
Corrected Sentence:
When branches of science flourish, they make human life easier and more restful.
When branches of science flourish, they make human life easier and more restful.
Clarify the subject and improve the sentence structure for better readability.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, clearly outline your main points in the introduction and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, supported by examples or evidence.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are generally clear but lack distinct separation of ideas. Each paragraph should introduce and explore a single main idea to improve clarity.
Bad Sentence(s)
however positive improvement in science effects the economical setup of the country that also leads to the gentle improvement in the quality of human life.
Corrected Sentence:
However, positive improvements in science affect the economic setup of the country, which also leads to a gentle improvement in the quality of human life.
However, positive improvements in science affect the economic setup of the country, which also leads to a gentle improvement in the quality of human life.
Start a new paragraph to separate ideas more clearly and improve readability.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs that each introduce a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader and ensure coherence.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved for better flow and coherence. Some sentences feel disconnected due to a lack of transition words.
Bad Sentence(s)
when scientist wants to introduce new invention in the world they work on the needs of the people they search and then try to make advance thing for the use of people.
Corrected Sentence:
When scientists want to introduce a new invention, they work on the needs of the people, conducting research to create advanced solutions for everyday use.
When scientists want to introduce a new invention, they work on the needs of the people, conducting research to create advanced solutions for everyday use.
Use cohesive devices to better link ideas within the sentence.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating transition words such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'consequently' to better link your ideas and paragraphs.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally align with the essay's main argument about the positive impact of scientific advancements on human life. However, they could be more specific and engaging to better guide the reader through your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
I agree with the statement given above that the positive changes and advancement in science must increase the quality of human life.
This sentence effectively introduces your agreement with the main argument, setting a clear stance for the essay.
Bad Sentence(s)
however positive improvement in science effects the economical setup of the country that also leads to the gentle improvement in the quality of human life.
Corrected Sentence:
The positive advancements in science not only revolutionize economic structures but also significantly enhance the quality of human life.
The positive advancements in science not only revolutionize economic structures but also significantly enhance the quality of human life.
Clarify and directly relate the topic sentence to how scientific advancements impact economic setups and, subsequently, human life quality.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main idea. Use active voice and specific language. Ensure each topic sentence connects back to your thesis statement, guiding the reader through your argument's progression.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing solely on the positive impacts of scientific advancements. Including counterpoints could strengthen your argument by showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Suggestions
To effectively address and integrate counterarguments, first acknowledge potential criticisms or limitations of your viewpoint. Then, refute these points with evidence or explain why the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. This approach will make your argument more robust and persuasive.
Task Achievement
6 Bands
Overall, you've addressed the task with a clear stance and relevant examples. However, your essay would benefit from more detailed development of ideas, deeper analysis, and a more compelling conclusion. Pay attention to varying your sentence structures and correcting minor grammatical errors to enhance readability and coherence.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question directly, affirming the positive impact of scientific advancement on human life. Your agreement with the statement was clear throughout the essay.
Good example(s)
when science modifies and leads to develop new things in the society that will improve the human health, education system, living system
This sentence effectively highlights how scientific advancements can enhance various aspects of human life.
Development of Position
Your argument is generally clear but lacks depth in places. You've made your point, but further elaboration and more varied examples could strengthen your position.
Good example(s)
however positive improvement in science effects the economical setup of the country
This shows an understanding of the broader impacts of scientific advancements beyond immediate technological benefits.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but somewhat superficial. Including more detailed examples and evidence would enhance your argument.
Good example(s)
the agriculture of the country the people in old days used to harvest with hands and that was tame taken procedure but now because of advancement through science make human life easy that harvestmen done with machines and in less time.
This provides a concrete example of how scientific advancements have improved efficiency and quality of life.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your agreement with the statement but lacks a strong, impactful final thought to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. However, the lexical resource usage could be improved by enhancing vocabulary diversity, correcting misused words, and avoiding repetition. Attention to these areas will enrich your essay and better demonstrate your language proficiency.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| tame taken | time-consuming | 'Tame taken' is incorrect and unclear; 'time-consuming' accurately describes processes that take a lot of time. |
| soo | so | 'Soo' is a spelling error; 'so' is the correct spelling. |
| harvestmen | harvesting | 'Harvestmen' refers to a type of arachnid; 'harvesting' is the intended term related to agriculture. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
science 9 times | scientific advancement, technological progress, research and development |
easy 3 times | simplified, effortless, straightforward |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| innovation The introduction of new ideas, methods, or devices. | The introduction of new ideas, methods, or devices. |
| enhance Intensify, increase, or further improve the quality, value, or extent of. | Intensify, increase, or further improve the quality, value, or extent of. |
| efficiency The state or quality of being efficient, or able to accomplish something with the least waste of time and effort. | The state or quality of being efficient, or able to accomplish something with the least waste of time and effort. |
| impact The action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another; a marked effect or influence. | The action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another; a marked effect or influence. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors that impact readability. Issues include inconsistent tense usage, lack of varied sentence structures, and some spelling mistakes ('soo' instead of 'so'). To improve, focus on varying sentence structure, ensuring tense consistency, and proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a need for more varied and complex sentence structures. Most sentences follow a simple structure, which limits the depth and clarity of your arguments.
Bad Example(s)
when the branches of science flourish that makes the human life more easy and restful.
This sentence is awkwardly structured and could be more concise and clear.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss general truths. However, there are instances where tense usage could be improved for clarity.
Bad Example(s)
when scientist wants to introduce new invention in the world they work on the needs of the people they search and then try to make advance thing for the use of people.
The shift from singular to plural and the mix of present simple and continuous tenses make this sentence confusing.
Grammatical Errors
when the branches of science flourish that makes the human life more easy and restful.
Correction:
When the branches of science flourish, they make human life easier and more restful.
When the branches of science flourish, they make human life easier and more restful.
The original sentence lacks proper punctuation and uses 'more easy' instead of the correct comparative form 'easier'.
soo the product produces more easily and effectively in less time.
Correction:
So, products are produced more easily and effectively in less time.
So, products are produced more easily and effectively in less time.
Misspelling of 'so', incorrect verb form 'produces' should be 'are produced', and the sentence needs a comma after 'So'.