Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you think that the increasing focus on digital forms of art and music over traditional methods has more advantages or disadvantages for the cultural development of society?
In contemporary society, due to the advent of advanted technologies, we have faced with new concepts of art and musice which are revolving around
digital forms.The increasing attentions on these new forms of art over traditional methods has sparked a hot debat regarding the pros and cons for this phenomenon and its impact on our cultural herritage. In this essay, I shall discuss the benefits, drawbacks and my perspective towards contemporary art.
Firstly, any aspect of art is trying to yell its era circumstance. Subsequently, it is obvious to be a witness for the combination of art and technology.
The massive impact of technology on our lives is undeniable. It is a case that the contemporary art is more popular nowadays compared to tradtional art. In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional on. This is a part of history of art, and in the future people will put these artworks in the museums. Additionally, countless artists earn money from these digital methods which is profoundly profitable for them. Besides that these new digital platforms provide an area for artists to share their artworks and artistic cultures which can elevate separate regions cultural development.
However, people should not forget about their traditional artwworks because they have high values. Usually, they are fulled with details and spectacular forms which is rarely can be found nowadays. In my opinion, some digital platforms such as AI have demolished the concept of effort for making an artwork. Perhaps AI has an ability to make a masterpiece immidiatly, but art is not only about the result, the process of creation with lots of effort is vital too.
Taking everything into account, contemporary art such as paintings,musics,etc, will become a part of history in the future. It will show a period of time that humans were wrestling with technologies . Although the true meaning of art is a combination of concept and techniqe. In my standpoint, artists should not rely on these digital platforms totaly. They should preserve their culture by making efforts to create something valuable
digital forms.The increasing attentions on these new forms of art over traditional methods has sparked a hot debat regarding the pros and cons for this phenomenon and its impact on our cultural herritage. In this essay, I shall discuss the benefits, drawbacks and my perspective towards contemporary art.
Firstly, any aspect of art is trying to yell its era circumstance. Subsequently, it is obvious to be a witness for the combination of art and technology.
The massive impact of technology on our lives is undeniable. It is a case that the contemporary art is more popular nowadays compared to tradtional art. In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional on. This is a part of history of art, and in the future people will put these artworks in the museums. Additionally, countless artists earn money from these digital methods which is profoundly profitable for them. Besides that these new digital platforms provide an area for artists to share their artworks and artistic cultures which can elevate separate regions cultural development.
However, people should not forget about their traditional artwworks because they have high values. Usually, they are fulled with details and spectacular forms which is rarely can be found nowadays. In my opinion, some digital platforms such as AI have demolished the concept of effort for making an artwork. Perhaps AI has an ability to make a masterpiece immidiatly, but art is not only about the result, the process of creation with lots of effort is vital too.
Taking everything into account, contemporary art such as paintings,musics,etc, will become a part of history in the future. It will show a period of time that humans were wrestling with technologies . Although the true meaning of art is a combination of concept and techniqe. In my standpoint, artists should not rely on these digital platforms totaly. They should preserve their culture by making efforts to create something valuable
Submitted on August 6, 2024 at 9:36 PM
Overall Evaluation
6 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a balanced view on the impact of digital forms of art and music on cultural development. You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a concise conclusion. Your argument that digital art forms will be considered traditional by future generations is insightful and adds depth to your discussion. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your essay contains numerous spelling and grammatical errors ('advanted' should be 'advanced', 'musice' should be 'music', 'herritage' should be 'heritage', 'tradtional' should be 'traditional', 'artwworks' should be 'artworks', 'fulled' should be 'filled', 'immidiatly' should be 'immediately', 'techniqe' should be 'technique', 'totaly' should be 'totally'). These errors can distract from your argument and impact the clarity of your message. Secondly, your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific digital art forms or platforms. Finally, consider refining your conclusion to more directly address the question of whether the focus on digital forms has more advantages or disadvantages for cultural development. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, but attention to detail and clearer examples could enhance your argument further.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
Learn more about overall evaluation
Learn more about overall evaluation
6
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The flow of ideas from the significance of digital art in contemporary society to its impact on traditional art forms and a personal perspective is logical. However, the transition between advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to enhance readability. Overall, the organization is good but has room for improvement. Band: 7.0
Good Sentence(s)
In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional one.
This sentence effectively bridges past and future perspectives on art, showing a deep understanding of the subject.
Bad Sentence(s)
In contemporary society, due to the advent of advanted technologies, we have faced with new concepts of art and musice which are revolving around digital forms.
Corrected Sentence:
In contemporary society, the advent of advanced technologies has introduced new concepts of art and music centered around digital forms.
In contemporary society, the advent of advanced technologies has introduced new concepts of art and music centered around digital forms.
Revise for clarity and correct spelling errors.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Additionally, transition sentences at the end of each paragraph can help smoothly link to the next section.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are generally clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the debate on digital versus traditional art. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to immediately establish their main focus. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
However, people should not forget about their traditional artworks because they have high values.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph's focus on the importance of traditional art, setting a clear direction.
Suggestions
For more focused and coherent paragraphs, start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph's main idea. Ensure each sentence that follows directly supports or expands on that idea. Use concluding sentences to summarize the paragraph's main point and transition smoothly to the next topic.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, generally helps in maintaining the flow of the essay. However, there are instances where the use of these devices could be more precise to better connect ideas. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, countless artists earn money from these digital methods which is profoundly profitable for them.
The use of 'Additionally' effectively adds another point to the argument about the benefits of digital art forms.
Bad Sentence(s)
It is a case that the contemporary art is more popular nowadays compared to tradtional art.
Corrected Sentence:
This popularity of contemporary art over traditional art illustrates the significant impact of technology on cultural expression.
This popularity of contemporary art over traditional art illustrates the significant impact of technology on cultural expression.
Clarify the connection between ideas for smoother flow.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by varying them more and ensuring they accurately reflect the relationship between ideas. For example, use 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to add information, 'However' or 'On the other hand' to introduce a contrast, and 'As a result' or 'Consequently' to show cause and effect.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally set up the subject of each paragraph effectively, indicating both the advantages and disadvantages of digital forms of art and music. However, they could be more specific to guide the reader more clearly through your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, any aspect of art is trying to yell its era circumstance.
This sentence effectively introduces the idea that art reflects its time, setting up a discussion on the relevance of digital art in contemporary society.
However, people should not forget about their traditional artworks because they have high values.
This sentence clearly signals a shift to discussing the disadvantages of focusing solely on digital art, providing a balanced view.
Bad Sentence(s)
In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional on.
Corrected Sentence:
I believe future generations will regard our contemporary digital art as traditional.
I believe future generations will regard our contemporary digital art as traditional.
Clarify and streamline the sentence for better coherence.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the main idea of the paragraph. Follow this by a brief explanation or introduction to the evidence you will present. Avoid vague language and be as specific as possible about what the reader can expect.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints by acknowledging the importance of both digital and traditional art forms. However, the integration of these viewpoints could be smoother to enhance the argument's persuasiveness.
Good Sentence(s)
Besides that these new digital platforms provide an area for artists to share their artworks and artistic cultures which can elevate separate regions cultural development.
This sentence effectively highlights a positive aspect of digital art, suggesting its role in enhancing cultural development.
Bad Sentence(s)
Perhaps AI has an ability to make a masterpiece immediately, but art is not only about the result, the process of creation with lots of effort is vital too.
Corrected Sentence:
Although AI can quickly produce masterpieces, the value of art also lies in the effortful creative process.
Although AI can quickly produce masterpieces, the value of art also lies in the effortful creative process.
Rephrase to more directly address the counterpoint and strengthen the argument.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, clearly state the counterargument before refuting it with evidence or reasoning. This structure helps to acknowledge the complexity of the issue while reinforcing your position. Additionally, using transitional phrases can smooth the shift from one viewpoint to another, making your argument more cohesive.
Task Achievement
6 Bands
Overall, you have addressed the question by discussing both sides of the argument. However, your essay would benefit from clearer argumentation, fewer grammatical errors, and more specific examples. The conclusion needs a definitive stance to effectively wrap up your discussion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Response to Question
You've made a balanced argument discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the increasing focus on digital forms of art and music. However, the direct answer to the question could be clearer.
Good example(s)
In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional one.
This sentence effectively highlights a unique perspective on the evolution of art, aligning with the essay's argument.
Bad Example(s)
In contemporary society, due to the advent of advanted technologies, we have faced with new concepts of art and musice which are revolving around digital forms.
This sentence contains spelling and grammatical errors ('advanted' should be 'advanced', 'musice' should be 'music', 'faced with' is awkward here) that detract from clarity.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat clear but could be strengthened by directly stating whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
Good example(s)
Additionally, countless artists earn money from these digital methods which is profoundly profitable for them.
This sentence clearly supports the advantage of digital art forms for artists.
Bad Example(s)
However, people should not forget about their traditional artwworks because they have high values.
This sentence is vague and lacks specificity in explaining why traditional artworks' values should prevent their neglect.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but need to be more detailed and specific to strongly support your arguments.
Good example(s)
These new digital platforms provide an area for artists to share their artworks and artistic cultures which can elevate separate regions cultural development.
This detail effectively illustrates how digital art contributes to cultural development.
Bad Example(s)
Perhaps AI has an ability to make a masterpiece immidiatly, but art is not only about the result, the process of creation with lots of effort is vital too.
This sentence is speculative and undermines the argument by not providing concrete examples or evidence.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your main points but lacks a strong final stance on the overall impact on cultural development.
Bad Example(s)
Although the true meaning of art is a combination of concept and techniqe.
This sentence is incomplete and does not contribute to a strong conclusion.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of digital versus traditional art forms. However, there are areas where lexical precision and variety could be enhanced to strengthen your argument and clarity. Paying attention to the correct use of terminology and avoiding repetition will make your essay more compelling and coherent.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| advanted | advanced | Typographical error. |
| musice | music | Spelling mistake. |
| herritage | heritage | Spelling mistake. |
| tradtional | traditional | Spelling mistake. |
| artwworks | artworks | Spelling mistake. |
| immidiatly | immediately | Spelling mistake. |
| totaly | totally | Spelling mistake. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
art 14 times | craft, artwork, creation |
digital 5 times | electronic, computerized, virtual |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| cultural heritage The legacy of physical artifacts and intangible attributes of a group or society that are inherited from past generations. | The legacy of physical artifacts and intangible attributes of a group or society that are inherited from past generations. |
| technological advancements Progress in technology that enhances capabilities or offers new solutions. | Progress in technology that enhances capabilities or offers new solutions. |
| artistic expression The use of art to convey feelings, thoughts, or ideas. | The use of art to convey feelings, thoughts, or ideas. |
| preserve Maintain (something) in its original or existing state. | Maintain (something) in its original or existing state. |
| innovative platforms New and creative online spaces that allow for sharing and development. | New and creative online spaces that allow for sharing and development. |
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Overall, your essay demonstrates a fair understanding of grammar, but there are several areas for improvement. Attention to spelling, correct verb forms, and preposition usage will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Additionally, ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct word choice are crucial for conveying your arguments effectively. Proofreading more carefully could help eliminate these errors and improve the overall quality of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a mix of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, the complexity could be enhanced with more varied structures to improve readability and engagement.
Good example(s)
Additionally, countless artists earn money from these digital methods which is profoundly profitable for them.
This sentence effectively combines clauses to convey a complex idea succinctly, illustrating the benefit of digital art forms.
Bad Example(s)
In contemporary society, due to the advent of advanted technologies, we have faced with new concepts of art and musice which are revolving around digital forms.
The sentence is awkwardly structured and contains typographical errors ('advanted' should be 'advanced', 'musice' should be 'music'). It could be clearer and more direct.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, mainly using the present simple to discuss current trends and future predictions. However, attention to tense agreement in complex sentences could be improved.
Good example(s)
In my perspective, next generations will consider these form of art that we are experiencing right now as traditional one.
This sentence correctly uses the future tense to make a prediction about how digital art will be perceived, showing good control of tense for hypothetical scenarios.
Bad Example(s)
Usually, they are fulled with details and spectacular forms which is rarely can be found nowadays.
The phrase 'fulled with' should be 'filled with', and 'which is rarely can be found' should be 'which can rarely be found'. The tense and structure are awkward.
Grammatical Errors
advanted technologies
Correction:
advanced technologies
advanced technologies
Typographical error.
musice
Correction:
music
music
Spelling mistake.
we have faced with
Correction:
we are faced with
we are faced with
Incorrect verb form and preposition usage.
artwworks
Correction:
artworks
artworks
Typographical error.
fulled with
Correction:
filled with
filled with
Incorrect word choice.
immidiatly
Correction:
immediately
immediately
Spelling mistake.
musics,etc,
Correction:
music, etc.,
music, etc.,
Incorrect plural form and punctuation.