Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: Discuss the potential positive and negative effects of promoting electric vehicles to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution.

Among the myriad technological advancements in this century, the creation of electric cars particularly stands out. The attention tis invention has garnered is not only because of the innovative angle, but on account of the major global changes this innovation is capable of bringing. While the motivation behind electric vehicles is to decrease greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution, the changes include positive as well negative aspects.

Starting with the positive sides of reduced air pollution, this benefit of the cars running on electricity is certainly unavoidable. Today, our planet is on the brink of catastrophic environmental disasters, as a consequence of increased carbon emissions in the form of smoke produced by cars operating on fuels. The air is getting more and more polluted every year, climate change is shaking the core of our world. In this scenario, the production of vehicles that are fueled by electricity and do not emit harmful gases is a big step towards keeping the air we breath in clean. This massive milestone towards preserving the climate of earth is a major contribution of electric cars.

However, the influxes brought by this life altering breakthrough are not all positive, it has some downsides as well. The most prominent one of the disadvantages of such cars is faced by the underdeveloped countries with electricity shortage. The third world countries that experience electricity cutouts in their daily lives would not have enough electricity supply to charge vehicles. Another blow those nations will suffer will be in the production area, if electric cars become common around the world, the production of cars running on fuel will significatly decline leading to shortages of vehicles altogether in such regions of the world. This drawback of cars operating on batteries will cause significant problems in daily commute and transport and is incomparable.

To conclude, the rapidly detriorating global climate calls for a breakthrough as big as electric cars. Neverthless, keeping in view that the entire world is not on the same page when it comes to being developed, this invention can have different results and create a huge gap between the developed and underdeveloped areas of the globe.
Submitted on January 18, 2025 at 4:33 PM

Overall Evaluation

7 Bands
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of the positive and negative effects of promoting electric vehicles. You effectively highlight the environmental benefits of reducing air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions. The essay also acknowledges the challenges faced by underdeveloped countries, such as electricity shortages and potential vehicle shortages. However, there are areas for improvement. The introduction could be more concise, and the thesis statement could be clearer. Some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors, such as 'tis' instead of 'this' and 'detriorating' instead of 'deteriorating'. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be strengthened by suggesting potential solutions or recommendations. Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the task, but refining language and clarity would enhance its quality. Estimated Band: 6.5
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

6.5 Bands

In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both positive and negative effects, and a conclusion. However, the transition between ideas can be improved for smoother flow.

Good Sentence(s)

While the motivation behind electric vehicles is to decrease greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution, the changes include positive as well negative aspects.
This sentence effectively introduces the dual nature of the topic, setting up the discussion for both positive and negative aspects.

Bad Sentence(s)

Another blow those nations will suffer will be in the production area, if electric cars become common around the world, the production of cars running on fuel will significatly decline leading to shortages of vehicles altogether in such regions of the world.
Corrected Sentence:
Another blow those nations will suffer will be in the production area. If electric cars become common around the world, the production of cars running on fuel will significantly decline, leading to shortages of vehicles in such regions.
Break this sentence into two for clarity and to better convey the cause and effect relationship.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Consider using linking words like 'furthermore', 'on the other hand', and 'consequently' to connect ideas more effectively.

Paragraphing

The paragraphs are generally clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the second paragraph could benefit from a clearer topic sentence.

Good Sentence(s)

Starting with the positive sides of reduced air pollution, this benefit of the cars running on electricity is certainly unavoidable.
This sentence effectively introduces the positive aspect of electric vehicles, setting the stage for the discussion in the paragraph.

Suggestions

Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Maintain focus on a single aspect within each paragraph to enhance coherence.

Cohesive Devices

Your use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be improved for better flow. Some sentences lack clear connections to the preceding ideas.

Good Sentence(s)

However, the influxes brought by this life altering breakthrough are not all positive, it has some downsides as well.
The use of 'however' effectively signals a shift from discussing positive to negative aspects, aiding in the transition between ideas.

Suggestions

To improve use of cohesive devices, incorporate more transitional phrases and conjunctions to link ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences generally introduce the main idea of each paragraph effectively, but they could be more concise and directly related to the essay question.

Good Sentence(s)

Starting with the positive sides of reduced air pollution, this benefit of the cars running on electricity is certainly unavoidable.
This sentence effectively introduces the positive aspect of electric vehicles in relation to air pollution.

Bad Sentence(s)

However, the influxes brought by this life altering breakthrough are not all positive, it has some downsides as well.
Corrected Sentence:
However, electric vehicles also present challenges, particularly for underdeveloped countries with electricity shortages.
Make the topic sentence more specific to the negative effects being discussed.

Suggestions

Ensure your topic sentences clearly reflect the main point of the paragraph and relate directly to the essay question. Avoid overly complex language that might obscure the main idea.

Counter Points

You addressed counterpoints by discussing the challenges faced by underdeveloped countries, but the argument could be more balanced by providing additional support or examples.

Good Sentence(s)

The most prominent one of the disadvantages of such cars is faced by the underdeveloped countries with electricity shortage.
This sentence clearly introduces a counterpoint by highlighting a specific challenge related to electric vehicles.

Suggestions

To improve handling of counterpoints, provide more detailed examples or evidence to support the challenges you mention. Consider addressing potential solutions or mitigating factors.

Task Achievement

6.5 Bands
Overall, you have addressed the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of electric vehicles. However, the essay would benefit from more specific examples and a stronger conclusion. Additionally, ensuring clarity and coherence in your arguments will improve the overall quality.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You addressed the question by discussing both the positive and negative effects of promoting electric vehicles. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both aspects.

Good example(s)

The air is getting more and more polluted every year, climate change is shaking the core of our world.
This sentence effectively highlights the urgency of addressing air pollution and climate change, setting the stage for discussing the benefits of electric vehicles.

Bad Example(s)

This drawback of cars operating on batteries will cause significant problems in daily commute and transport and is incomparable.
The statement is too broad and lacks specific examples or evidence to support the claim about the drawbacks of electric vehicles.

Development of Position

Your argument is clear in presenting both sides, but it could be strengthened by providing more detailed analysis and evidence for each point.

Good example(s)

The production of vehicles that are fueled by electricity and do not emit harmful gases is a big step towards keeping the air we breathe in clean.
This sentence clearly articulates the positive impact of electric vehicles on air quality.

Bad Example(s)

Another blow those nations will suffer will be in the production area, if electric cars become common around the world, the production of cars running on fuel will significantly decline leading to shortages of vehicles altogether in such regions of the world.
This statement lacks clarity and logical coherence, making it difficult to understand the argument being made.

Supporting Details

Your examples are relevant but could be more specific and detailed. Including statistics or studies would enhance the credibility of your arguments.

Bad Example(s)

The most prominent one of the disadvantages of such cars is faced by the underdeveloped countries with electricity shortage.
This point is valid but lacks specific examples or evidence to illustrate the impact on underdeveloped countries.

Conclusion

Your conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more impactful by suggesting solutions or future directions.

Bad Example(s)

Neverthless, keeping in view that the entire world is not on the same page when it comes to being developed, this invention can have different results and create a huge gap between the developed and underdeveloped areas of the globe.
The conclusion ends on a somewhat negative note without offering a resolution or a positive outlook, which could leave the reader unsatisfied.

Lexical Resources

7 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated word choices. However, there are a few lexical inaccuracies and repetitions that could be improved.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Lexical Mistakes

MistakeCorrectionReason
tis thisTypographical error.
breath breatheIncorrect form of the verb 'breathe'.
detriorating deterioratingTypographical error.
Neverthless NeverthelessTypographical error.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
electric 5 times
battery-powered, electronic, non-fuel
cars 6 times
vehicles, automobiles, transports
emissions 2 times
discharges, pollutants

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level; conserving an ecological balance.
infrastructure The basic physical and organizational structures needed for the operation of a society or enterprise.
renewable energy Energy from a source that is not depleted when used, such as wind or solar power.
carbon footprint The amount of carbon dioxide and other carbon compounds emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a particular person, group, etc.

Grammatical Range

7.5 Bands
Your grammar is generally good, but there are a few typographical errors and issues with parallel structure. Pay attention to proper nouns and ensure that your clauses are correctly joined to avoid run-on sentences.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your sentences are generally varied and complex, but there are some areas where clarity could be improved. You have used a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, which is good for variety.

Good example(s)

While the motivation behind electric vehicles is to decrease greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution, the changes include positive as well negative aspects.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure with a subordinate clause to introduce contrasting ideas.

Bad Example(s)

The air is getting more and more polluted every year, climate change is shaking the core of our world.
This sentence is a comma splice, where two independent clauses are incorrectly joined by a comma.

Tense Usage

Your tense usage is mostly consistent and correct. You have appropriately used present tense to discuss general truths and current situations.

Good example(s)

Today, our planet is on the brink of catastrophic environmental disasters, as a consequence of increased carbon emissions in the form of smoke produced by cars operating on fuels.
The present tense is correctly used to describe a current and ongoing situation.

Grammatical Errors

The attention tis invention has garnered is not only because of the innovative angle, but on account of the major global changes this innovation is capable of bringing.
Correction:
The attention this invention has garnered is not only because of the innovative angle, but also on account of the major global changes this innovation is capable of bringing.
The word 'tis' is a typo and should be 'this'. Additionally, 'but on account' should be 'but also on account' for parallel structure.
This massive milestone towards preserving the climate of earth is a major contribution of electric cars.
Correction:
This massive milestone towards preserving the climate of the Earth is a major contribution of electric cars.
The word 'Earth' should be capitalized as it is a proper noun.
Neverthless, keeping in view that the entire world is not on the same page when it comes to being developed, this invention can have different results and create a huge gap between the developed and underdeveloped areas of the globe.
Correction:
Nevertheless, keeping in view that the entire world is not on the same page when it comes to being developed, this invention can have different results and create a huge gap between the developed and underdeveloped areas of the globe.
The word 'Neverthless' is a typo and should be 'Nevertheless'.