Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: Some people argue that life in big cities is becoming more challenging, while others contend it is getting easier. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

The debate over whether life in big cities ihas become more difficult or easier is ongoing. This essay will examine both the perspectives before concluding my opinion.

Some individuals believe that urban living is becoming harder due to the rising cost of living which is the primary concern. Also, the rent of houses are increasing which makes it hard for an average person to afford a comfortable living space. Additionally, large cities have increasing traffic congestion leading to a long and stressful travel. Another major problem is pollution which makes it difficult for people to live in a healthy environment. Pollution not only affects the surrounding environment but also the health of the residents. Most of them, find the fast-paced life stressful and prefer to live in a slow-paced life which is impossible in cities which affects both the mental and physical health.

On the other hand, some people argue thatlifein cities is becming easier due to the technological advancements and improved infrastructure. Modern conveniences like efficient public transport system, widespread internet access and availability of various services at the door step has made life much more comfortable and convinient in metropolitan cities which is not easily available in rural areas. Additionally, cities not only offer greater employment opportunities, but also provide cultural and educational experiences which are not readily available in rural regions.

In my opinion, although city life is quite challenging, the benefits it offers, are making it increasingly easier to live in urban areas. The convenience of having various services and amenities along with the advancing technologies and opportunies, significantly enhances the urban living. In conclusion, while there are valid points on both the sides of the argument, the advantages and conveniences of modern urban life, in my view, dominates the challenges faced in big cities.
Submitted on June 28, 2024 at 7:47 PM

Overall Evaluation

7 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both views on the challenges and conveniences of living in big cities before presenting your own opinion. Your structure is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion that summarizes your stance. However, there are several spelling and grammatical errors ('ihas' instead of 'has', 'are increasing' instead of 'is increasing', 'thatlifein' instead of 'that life in', 'becming' instead of 'becoming', 'convinient' instead of 'convenient', 'opportunies' instead of 'opportunities') that can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. To improve your score, focus on proofreading for spelling and grammar, and ensure your arguments are supported with specific examples. Additionally, enhancing the complexity of your sentences and using a wider range of vocabulary could further improve your essay. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with a balanced discussion and reasoned conclusion, placing you in a strong position. With refinement, your writing could achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

7.5 Bands

In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay is well-organized, presenting a clear introduction, discussion of both viewpoints, and a conclusion with your opinion. The flow from one idea to the next is smooth, facilitating easy understanding for the reader. Overall, the logical organization is strong. Band: 7.5

Good Sentence(s)

Additionally, cities not only offer greater employment opportunities, but also provide cultural and educational experiences which are not readily available in rural regions.
This sentence effectively summarizes the advantages of city life, linking employment and cultural opportunities to the ease of urban living.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression, consider using more explicit transition phrases that signal contrasts or comparisons between the two viewpoints. Additionally, a brief summary sentence at the end of each body paragraph could help in reinforcing the main idea discussed.

Paragraphing

Paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are distinct, with each paragraph addressing a single main idea. Band: 7.5

Suggestions

To create more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph’s main idea. Follow this with supporting sentences that expand on the topic, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph’s key point or links to the next paragraph.

Cohesive Devices

Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, helping to link ideas and paragraphs together. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision in their use. Band: 7.0

Good Sentence(s)

Additionally, large cities have increasing traffic congestion leading to a long and stressful travel.
The use of 'Additionally' here effectively introduces another point supporting the argument that city life is becoming more challenging.

Suggestions

To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider range of expressions to show comparison, contrast, cause and effect, and sequence. This will not only enhance the readability of your essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the direction of the argument. However, they could be enhanced by more explicitly stating the contrast between the two viewpoints.

Good Sentence(s)

Some individuals believe that urban living is becoming harder due to the rising cost of living which is the primary concern.
This sentence clearly identifies the main issue for one viewpoint, making it effective in introducing the argument.
On the other hand, some people argue that life in cities is becoming easier due to the technological advancements and improved infrastructure.
It effectively introduces the counterargument, providing a clear contrast to the previous point.

Suggestions

To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use transitional phrases to show the relationship between paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.

Counter Points

You handled contrasting viewpoints well by dedicating a paragraph to each perspective before stating your own opinion. This structure allows for a balanced discussion.

Good Sentence(s)

Additionally, cities not only offer greater employment opportunities, but also provide cultural and educational experiences which are not readily available in rural regions.
This sentence effectively highlights the benefits of city life, serving as a strong counterpoint to the challenges mentioned earlier.

Suggestions

To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints before presenting evidence or reasoning that supports your own perspective. This approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task, presenting a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion. To improve, focus on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more specific examples to support your points. Additionally, watch out for minor spelling and grammar errors, such as 'ihas' instead of 'has' and 'becming' instead of 'becoming', which can detract from the professionalism of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You effectively addressed the essay question by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which aligns well with the requirements of the task.

Good example(s)

Modern conveniences like efficient public transport system, widespread internet access and availability of various services at the door step has made life much more comfortable and convenient in metropolitan cities.
This sentence clearly supports the viewpoint that city life is getting easier, showcasing specific examples.

Development of Position

Your argument is clear and progresses logically through the essay, effectively balancing both sides of the debate before stating your own position.

Good example(s)

In my opinion, although city life is quite challenging, the benefits it offers, are making it increasingly easier to live in urban areas.
This sentence effectively summarizes your position, showing a well-developed argument.

Supporting Details

Your examples and explanations are relevant and support your arguments well. However, incorporating more varied and specific examples could strengthen your essay further.

Good example(s)

Additionally, large cities have increasing traffic congestion leading to a long and stressful travel.
This detail effectively illustrates the challenges of living in big cities.

Conclusion

Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the essay, reiterating your viewpoint effectively. It could be enhanced by briefly summarizing the key points made in the discussion.

Good example(s)

In conclusion, while there are valid points on both the sides of the argument, the advantages and conveniences of modern urban life, in my view, dominates the challenges faced in big cities.
This conclusion effectively states your position and reflects on the discussion.

Lexical Resources

6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, effectively conveying ideas on both sides of the argument. However, there are some areas where lexical precision could be improved to enhance clarity and avoid repetition. Incorporating a wider variety of expressions and paying attention to spelling and word choice will further strengthen your lexical resource score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Lexical Mistakes

MistakeCorrectionReason
ihas hasTypographical error.
are increasing is increasingSubject-verb agreement error.
thatlifein that life inTypographical error, missing spaces.
becming becomingSpelling mistake.
convinient convenientSpelling mistake.
opportunies opportunitiesSpelling mistake.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
cities 9 times
metropolitan areas, urban centers, metropolises
life 8 times
existence, living conditions, lifestyle

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
infrastructural developments Advancements and improvements in the basic facilities, services, and installations needed for a society to function.
socio-economic challenges Difficulties related to the economic and social conditions affecting individuals and communities.
technological innovations New methods, ideas, or products introduced to enhance technology and its use in society.
residential affordability The financial feasibility for individuals or families to own or rent housing.
commuting woes Problems or difficulties associated with traveling from home to work or school and back.
urban sprawl The uncontrolled expansion of urban areas.

Grammatical Range

6.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar demonstrates a good understanding of English language conventions, but attention to detail is needed to avoid typographical and subject-verb agreement errors. Proofreading could significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Incorporating a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring accuracy in spelling and punctuation will also enhance your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your sentences show some variety in structure, which is good for maintaining reader interest and demonstrating writing proficiency. However, more complex structures could enhance the overall quality.

Good example(s)

Additionally, large cities have increasing traffic congestion leading to a long and stressful travel.
This sentence effectively combines multiple ideas, showing cause and effect, which adds complexity to your writing.

Bad Example(s)

On the other hand, some people argue thatlifein cities is becming easier due to the technological advancements and improved infrastructure.
This sentence lacks proper spacing ('thatlifein') and contains a spelling error ('becming'), which disrupts the structure and flow.

Tense Usage

Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, aligning well with the analytical and discursive nature of the essay. You maintained a balance between present simple for general truths and present perfect for ongoing or recent developments.

Grammatical Errors

The debate over whether life in big cities ihas become more difficult or easier is ongoing.
Correction:
The debate over whether life in big cities has become more difficult or easier is ongoing.
Typographical error with an unnecessary 'i' before 'has'.
Also, the rent of houses are increasing which makes it hard for an average person to afford a comfortable living space.
Correction:
Also, the rent of houses is increasing, which makes it hard for an average person to afford a comfortable living space.
Subject-verb agreement error ('rent...is' not 'rent...are') and a missing comma before 'which'.
On the other hand, some people argue thatlifein cities is becming easier due to the technological advancements and improved infrastructure.
Correction:
On the other hand, some people argue that life in cities is becoming easier due to the technological advancements and improved infrastructure.
Typographical errors: missing space ('that life in') and misspelling ('becoming').