Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you agree or disagree that the migration of young people from rural areas to urban cities is mainly beneficial for their personal and professional development?
Moving from rural regions to big cities is a common practice among the youth of any country. While there can be various reasons behind the migration, the most prevalent motives are known to be personal and professional development. To excel in their personal, academic, and professional lives, it is indeed crucial for the youth to shift to a place where they can find the necessary opportunities to grow.
As stated earlier, one of the common motives behind migrating to metropolitan cities by youngsters is their personal growth. It is a common observation that big hustling cities differ enormously from small towns, which is why youth gets the exposure in a city that they would never get anywhere in the countryside. This results in meeting with new people and gaining new experiences. Dealing with new situations everyday can help youngsters become independent, broaden their perspectives, and develop a distinct personality. Consequently, their social skills sharpen, which pushes them to level up in their lives and move more effeciantly in the world.
The other major reason behind these migrations is professional success. For generous job opportunities and a successful career, it is necessary for young people to live in the cities where big industries are established and work actively. It is not limited to searching jobs, but in an urban region, a person can meet other professionals of their fields and grow their contacts and PR. This networking is a very significant aspect of a person's professional advancement, another area where they cannot ladder up if they are in a rural region.
To sum up, the youngsters are justified in their shifts from rural to urban areas. It is a major step in their overall lives, and a necessary one for both personal and professional advancement.
As stated earlier, one of the common motives behind migrating to metropolitan cities by youngsters is their personal growth. It is a common observation that big hustling cities differ enormously from small towns, which is why youth gets the exposure in a city that they would never get anywhere in the countryside. This results in meeting with new people and gaining new experiences. Dealing with new situations everyday can help youngsters become independent, broaden their perspectives, and develop a distinct personality. Consequently, their social skills sharpen, which pushes them to level up in their lives and move more effeciantly in the world.
The other major reason behind these migrations is professional success. For generous job opportunities and a successful career, it is necessary for young people to live in the cities where big industries are established and work actively. It is not limited to searching jobs, but in an urban region, a person can meet other professionals of their fields and grow their contacts and PR. This networking is a very significant aspect of a person's professional advancement, another area where they cannot ladder up if they are in a rural region.
To sum up, the youngsters are justified in their shifts from rural to urban areas. It is a major step in their overall lives, and a necessary one for both personal and professional advancement.
Submitted on July 19, 2024 at 4:29 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear argument that migration from rural areas to urban cities is beneficial for the personal and professional development of young people. Your structure is coherent, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a specific aspect of development (personal and professional), and a concise conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. You provide specific examples and reasons to support your argument, which strengthens your essay. However, to further improve, consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills. Additionally, incorporating a counter-argument could enhance your argument's depth by showing you have considered alternative viewpoints. Overall, your essay is well-organized and communicates your ideas effectively, positioning you in a higher band for the IELTS Writing Task 2. Aim to refine your language use and complexity for an even stronger performance.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively presenting arguments in support of the migration's benefits for personal and professional development. The ideas flow cohesively from the introduction through to the conclusion, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument. Overall, the organization of ideas is strong, warranting a score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Dealing with new situations everyday can help youngsters become independent, broaden their perspectives, and develop a distinct personality.
This sentence effectively encapsulates the essence of personal growth resulting from migration, illustrating the multifaceted benefits in a concise manner.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in future essays, consider introducing counterarguments and then refuting them. This strategy can add depth to your argumentation and showcase your ability to engage critically with opposing viewpoints.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which is elaborated with examples and explanations. The transition between paragraphs is smooth, facilitating an easy read. Your paragraphing technique is commendable, deserving a score of 8.5.
Good Sentence(s)
The other major reason behind these migrations is professional success.
This sentence effectively transitions the focus from personal to professional development, serving as a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the subsequent discussion.
Suggestions
For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, try to incorporate a concluding sentence in each that reinforces the main idea presented. This can help in summarizing the paragraph's argument and linking it more explicitly to the essay's overall thesis.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively enhances the readability and flow of your essay. Devices such as transitions between paragraphs and linking words within paragraphs are used appropriately, contributing to a coherent argument. Your skillful use of these devices earns a score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
As stated earlier, one of the common motives behind migrating to metropolitan cities by youngsters is their personal growth.
This sentence effectively recalls previously mentioned information, reinforcing the essay's structure and aiding in the cohesion between paragraphs.
Suggestions
To further improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying your transitional phrases to avoid repetition and to introduce a wider range of connections between ideas. This can make your essay even more engaging and easier to follow.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the focus on personal and professional development as reasons for migration.
Good Sentence(s)
As stated earlier, one of the common motives behind migrating to metropolitan cities by youngsters is their personal growth.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph on personal growth, clearly linking migration to the opportunity for personal development.
The other major reason behind these migrations is professional success.
It succinctly introduces the focus on professional development, making it clear what the paragraph will discuss.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey the paragraph’s focus. Avoid vague language.
Counter Points
Your essay primarily focuses on supporting the migration of young people for personal and professional development, without addressing contrasting viewpoints directly.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay does not explicitly address any counterpoints.
Corrected Sentence:
While some may argue that migration can lead to the loss of cultural identity or feelings of isolation, the opportunities for growth in urban areas often outweigh these challenges.
While some may argue that migration can lead to the loss of cultural identity or feelings of isolation, the opportunities for growth in urban areas often outweigh these challenges.
Consider including a paragraph that acknowledges potential drawbacks or challenges of migration, then refute or mitigate these points to strengthen your argument.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, identify common opposing viewpoints and address them head-on in your essay. Use evidence or reasoning to refute these points, or acknowledge their validity but argue why the benefits still surpass the drawbacks.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a good job of addressing the question and developing a clear argument supported by relevant examples. To improve, consider adding a wider range of examples, including data or studies, and addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view. Also, work on making your conclusion more impactful.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You've directly addressed the question by stating your agreement that migration is beneficial for personal and professional development. Your stance is clear throughout the essay.
Good example(s)
To excel in their personal, academic, and professional lives, it is indeed crucial for the youth to shift to a place where they can find the necessary opportunities to grow.
This sentence effectively captures the essence of your argument and directly responds to the essay question.
Development of Position
Your argument is coherent and progresses logically, with each paragraph building on the point made previously. However, incorporating counterarguments or potential downsides before rebutting them could strengthen your position further.
Good example(s)
Dealing with new situations everyday can help youngsters become independent, broaden their perspectives, and develop a distinct personality.
This sentence effectively illustrates how personal growth is achieved through migration, supporting your overall position well.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and support your argument well. To enhance your essay, consider adding more specific examples or statistics to back up your claims.
Good example(s)
It is not limited to searching jobs, but in an urban region, a person can meet other professionals of their fields and grow their contacts and PR.
This detail shows a clear understanding of the professional advantages of urban migration, making your argument more convincing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument but could be strengthened by a more impactful final statement that emphasizes the significance of the issue.
Good example(s)
To sum up, the youngsters are justified in their shifts from rural to urban areas.
This sentence effectively concludes your essay by reiterating your main argument.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, effectively conveying your arguments on the benefits of rural to urban migration for young people. Your use of specific terms related to personal and professional development enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
youth 3 times | young individuals, younger generation, young adults |
cities 5 times | metropolitan areas, urban centers, towns |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| metropolitan relating to or denoting a metropolis, often inclusive of its surrounding areas | relating to or denoting a metropolis, often inclusive of its surrounding areas |
| networking the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts | the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts |
| professional advancement progress in one's career or occupational status | progress in one's career or occupational status |
| broaden their perspectives to expand one's understanding and view of the world | to expand one's understanding and view of the world |
| independent free from outside control; not depending on another's authority | free from outside control; not depending on another's authority |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with sentences constructed clearly and effectively to convey your points. The minor spelling mistake ('effeciantly' instead of 'efficiently') does not significantly detract from the overall quality of your essay. Your ability to maintain a consistent tense and use a variety of sentence structures contributes to a well-articulated argument. Keep focusing on proofreading to catch and correct minor errors.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentences exhibit a good range of complexity and variation, contributing positively to the readability and engagement of your essay.
Good example(s)
Dealing with new situations everyday can help youngsters become independent, broaden their perspectives, and develop a distinct personality.
This sentence effectively combines complex ideas with varied structure, enhancing the flow and depth of your argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay was consistent and correct, appropriately reflecting the ongoing and general nature of the discussed phenomena.
Good example(s)
It is a common observation that big hustling cities differ enormously from small towns, which is why youth gets the exposure in a city that they would never get anywhere in the countryside.
This sentence correctly uses the present tense to describe a current and general observation, aligning well with the context of your argument.
Grammatical Errors
move more effeciantly in the world
Correction:
move more efficiently in the world
move more efficiently in the world
The original sentence contained a spelling error; 'effeciantly' should be 'efficiently'.