Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Many advocate for promoting sports tourism as a means to boost a country's economy. On the other hand, some contend that such endeavors may bring disadvantages to local communities. What are the potential advantages and drawbacks of this approach, and how might it shape local economies and cultures?
Promoting sports tourism can indeed have a significant impact on a country's economy and local communities. The potential advantages are manifold. Firstly, it can stimulate economic growth by generating revenue through ticket sales, merchandise, and tourism-related activities. Secondly, it can create job opportunities in various sectors such as hospitality, transportation, and retail, thereby reducing unemployment rates. Lastly, it can enhance a country's international reputation and foster national pride, as hosting international sports events often brings global attention and recognition.
However, the promotion of sports tourism also has its drawbacks. The influx of tourists can lead to overcrowding, increased pollution, and strain on local resources, which can negatively impact the quality of life for local residents. Additionally, the construction of sports facilities often involves significant financial investment, which may lead to increased taxes or public debt. Furthermore, these facilities may become underutilized or even abandoned after the event, resulting in a waste of resources.
To mitigate these potential drawbacks, careful planning and sustainable practices are crucial. Governments should conduct thorough feasibility studies before deciding to host large-scale sports events, considering not only the potential economic benefits but also the potential social and environmental impacts. Moreover, they should ensure that the infrastructure built for the event can be repurposed for long-term use, thereby avoiding wastage of resources.
In conclusion, while sports tourism can bring significant economic benefits, it also poses potential challenges to local communities. Therefore, a balanced approach that considers both the economic benefits and the potential social and environmental impacts is necessary. This way, sports tourism can contribute to the sustainable development of local economies and cultures, rather than causing harm.
However, the promotion of sports tourism also has its drawbacks. The influx of tourists can lead to overcrowding, increased pollution, and strain on local resources, which can negatively impact the quality of life for local residents. Additionally, the construction of sports facilities often involves significant financial investment, which may lead to increased taxes or public debt. Furthermore, these facilities may become underutilized or even abandoned after the event, resulting in a waste of resources.
To mitigate these potential drawbacks, careful planning and sustainable practices are crucial. Governments should conduct thorough feasibility studies before deciding to host large-scale sports events, considering not only the potential economic benefits but also the potential social and environmental impacts. Moreover, they should ensure that the infrastructure built for the event can be repurposed for long-term use, thereby avoiding wastage of resources.
In conclusion, while sports tourism can bring significant economic benefits, it also poses potential challenges to local communities. Therefore, a balanced approach that considers both the economic benefits and the potential social and environmental impacts is necessary. This way, sports tourism can contribute to the sustainable development of local economies and cultures, rather than causing harm.
Submitted on June 19, 2024 at 6:48 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the question, presenting a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of promoting sports tourism. You have structured your essay well, with clear paragraphs each dedicated to different aspects of the topic. Your introduction sets up the topic effectively, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments, reinforcing the need for a balanced approach. Your use of examples and the analysis of potential impacts on economies and communities demonstrate a good understanding of the subject matter. However, to further improve, consider incorporating specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points more vividly. Additionally, paying attention to varying sentence structure can enhance the readability of your essay. Overall, your essay is coherent and well-argued, reflecting a good level of English proficiency. Estimated band: 7.5.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively discussing the advantages and disadvantages of sports tourism, followed by a balanced conclusion. The flow of ideas is coherent, making your argument easy to follow. Overall, the organization of your essay is strong. Band: 8.5
Good Sentence(s)
Lastly, it can enhance a country's international reputation and foster national pride, as hosting international sports events often brings global attention and recognition.
This sentence effectively summarizes the multifaceted benefits of sports tourism beyond the immediate economic impact, indicating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Suggestions
To further enhance the logical progression, consider explicitly linking each advantage and drawback to its impact on local economies and cultures. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases that highlight cause and effect, such as 'as a result' or 'consequently'.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all easily identifiable, contributing to the overall clarity of your essay. Band: 8.5
Suggestions
For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, try to include a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that clearly states the main idea. This will help readers understand the primary focus of each section from the outset.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, helping to create a smooth flow between sentences and ideas. You successfully employ conjunctions, and your use of signposting language guides the reader through your argument. Band: 8.0
Good Sentence(s)
However, the promotion of sports tourism also has its drawbacks.
This sentence effectively transitions the reader from discussing advantages to examining disadvantages, maintaining the essay's coherence.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying them more to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'Firstly, Secondly, Lastly,' you could use phrases like 'In addition to,' 'Moreover,' or 'Another point to consider is.'
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively set the stage for the paragraphs that follow, clearly indicating the direction of your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, it can stimulate economic growth by generating revenue through ticket sales, merchandise, and tourism-related activities.
This sentence effectively introduces the economic benefits of sports tourism, providing a clear focus for the paragraph.
However, the promotion of sports tourism also has its drawbacks.
This transition sentence adeptly introduces the discussion of potential disadvantages, signaling a shift in your argument.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, ensure they succinctly convey the main idea of the paragraph. Start with a transition word if you're shifting the argument or adding to a previous point for smoother flow.
Counter Points
You handled contrasting viewpoints well by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of sports tourism, which shows a balanced analysis.
Good Sentence(s)
To mitigate these potential drawbacks, careful planning and sustainable practices are crucial.
This sentence effectively addresses how to counter the disadvantages mentioned, showing a thoughtful consideration of solutions.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments more effectively, consider directly addressing common criticisms of sports tourism and then refuting them with evidence or further analysis. This will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done an excellent job in addressing the task. You provided a well-balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of sports tourism, supported your arguments with relevant examples, and concluded effectively. To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics to substantiate your claims. Additionally, a more impactful concluding statement could leave a lasting impression on the reader.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You effectively addressed the question by discussing both the potential advantages and drawbacks of promoting sports tourism, as well as its impact on local economies and cultures. Your balanced approach in examining both sides of the argument directly aligns with the task requirements.
Good example(s)
Firstly, it can stimulate economic growth by generating revenue through ticket sales, merchandise, and tourism-related activities.
This sentence clearly outlines a major advantage of sports tourism, directly responding to the essay question.
The influx of tourists can lead to overcrowding, increased pollution, and strain on local resources, which can negatively impact the quality of life for local residents.
This sentence effectively highlights a significant drawback, providing a balanced view.
Development of Position
Your argument is well-developed and clear, presenting a nuanced view of the subject. You successfully navigated the complexities of the topic by discussing the economic benefits alongside the potential social and environmental impacts.
Good example(s)
To mitigate these potential drawbacks, careful planning and sustainable practices are crucial.
This sentence shows a deep understanding of the issue and proposes a thoughtful solution, demonstrating good development of your position.
Supporting Details
Your examples and supporting details are relevant and strengthen your argument. However, adding more specific examples or data could further enhance your essay, such as mentioning actual events or studies that support your points.
Good example(s)
Secondly, it can create job opportunities in various sectors such as hospitality, transportation, and retail, thereby reducing unemployment rates.
This detail effectively supports your argument about economic growth, making it a strong point.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points and reinforces the need for a balanced approach. It effectively wraps up your discussion but could be strengthened by a more compelling final statement that emphasizes the potential for sports tourism to contribute positively to society when managed correctly.
Good example(s)
This way, sports tourism can contribute to the sustainable development of local economies and cultures, rather than causing harm.
It effectively encapsulates your argument, emphasizing the importance of sustainability and balance.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of sports tourism and its impact on economies and local communities. You effectively use terminology specific to the subject matter, such as 'economic growth', 'hospitality', 'transportation', and 'sustainable practices'. This enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. However, to elevate your lexical resource score further, consider varying your language more to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
significant 3 times | considerable, substantial, notable |
potential 4 times | possible, prospective, likely |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| economic stimulus An action taken to encourage economic growth or enhance the economy. | An action taken to encourage economic growth or enhance the economy. |
| infrastructural legacy Long-lasting infrastructure projects that remain useful to a community after an event. | Long-lasting infrastructure projects that remain useful to a community after an event. |
| feasibility studies Assessments of the practicality and potential success of a proposed project. | Assessments of the practicality and potential success of a proposed project. |
| cultural enrichment The process by which a culture is enhanced and diversified through the introduction of new cultural elements. | The process by which a culture is enhanced and diversified through the introduction of new cultural elements. |
| environmental sustainability The responsibility to conserve natural resources and protect global ecosystems to support health and wellbeing, now and in the future. | The responsibility to conserve natural resources and protect global ecosystems to support health and wellbeing, now and in the future. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, showing a clear understanding of complex grammatical structures and their appropriate use. This enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. There are no glaring grammatical errors, and your sentence construction is varied and engaging. Keep focusing on maintaining this level of grammatical accuracy in your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which enhances the readability and sophistication of your argument.
Good example(s)
Secondly, it can create job opportunities in various sectors such as hospitality, transportation, and retail, thereby reducing unemployment rates.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to link multiple ideas, showing cause and effect which adds depth to your argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and appropriate, effectively matching the context of each sentence.
Good example(s)
Promoting sports tourism can indeed have a significant impact on a country's economy and local communities.
The use of the modal verb 'can' correctly indicates possibility, which is suitable for discussing potential advantages.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay