Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that using animals for experimentation in scientific research is necessary to advance human health, while others believe it is unethical and alternatives should be used. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
Conversely, the opposition to animal testing hinges on ethical considerations. They argue that animals are sentient beings and should not be subjected to pain and distress for the sake of human benefit. Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced, not only for their cruelty-free nature but also for potentially offering more accurate predictions of human responses. Furthermore, they point to the pressing issue of species differences, which sometimes renders animal experiments an unreliable indicator of human outcomes.
In summary, while animal testing has undoubtedly contributed to medical advancements in the past, the ethical implications and the availability of emerging alternatives cannot be overlooked. My stance is that research should vigorously pursue these alternatives to avoid animal suffering,
In summary, while animal testing has undoubtedly contributed to medical advancements in the past, the ethical implications and the availability of emerging alternatives cannot be overlooked. My stance is that research should vigorously pursue these alternatives to avoid animal suffering,
Submitted on March 21, 2024 at 1:46 PM
Overall Evaluation
7.5 Bands
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument regarding animal testing in scientific research, highlighting the ethical concerns and the potential for alternative methods. You provide a clear summary and take a definitive stance, which is good for coherence and task response. However, your essay could be improved by introducing the topic more clearly at the beginning and providing more detailed examples to support your arguments. Additionally, consider balancing the discussion of both viewpoints to ensure equal consideration. Your language use is appropriate, but varying your sentence structures and employing a wider range of vocabulary could enhance your score. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic but could benefit from further development in certain areas.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7.5
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic with a well-balanced discussion of both viewpoints and a concise personal opinion. The structure is logical, but the introduction of the topic is missing, which affects the overall flow. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced, not only for their cruelty-free nature but also for potentially offering more accurate predictions of human responses.
This sentence effectively introduces alternatives to animal testing, showing a depth of knowledge and contributing to the logical flow of arguments.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start with an introductory paragraph that presents the topic and outlines the points of discussion. Also, a concluding sentence that ties your arguments and opinion together would strengthen your essay.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and focused on specific aspects of the argument. However, the absence of an introductory paragraph and a brief conclusion limits the effectiveness of your structure. Band: 6.5
Good Sentence(s)
Furthermore, they point to the pressing issue of species differences, which sometimes renders animal experiments an unreliable indicator of human outcomes.
This sentence effectively concludes the paragraph with a strong point about the limitations of animal testing, enhancing the paragraph's focus and coherence.
Suggestions
Consider adding an introductory paragraph to set the stage for your discussion and a concluding paragraph to summarize your points and state your opinion clearly. This will create more focused and coherent paragraphs.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay uses cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and arguments. However, the use of these devices could be more varied to enhance readability and flow. Band: 7
Good Sentence(s)
Conversely, the opposition to animal testing hinges on ethical considerations.
The use of 'Conversely' effectively signals a shift in the argument, guiding the reader from one viewpoint to the opposing one smoothly.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider variety of transitions, such as 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'As a result.' This will help in making the progression of ideas even smoother.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main points of each paragraph, clearly indicating the direction of your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
Conversely, the opposition to animal testing hinges on ethical considerations.
This sentence effectively introduces the counterargument, setting the stage for a discussion on ethical concerns.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and ensure it aligns with your overall argument.
Counter Points
You handled contrasting viewpoints well by presenting both sides of the argument before stating your stance. This approach strengthens your essay by showing a balanced understanding.
Good Sentence(s)
Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced, not only for their cruelty-free nature but also for potentially offering more accurate predictions of human responses.
This sentence effectively introduces alternatives to animal testing, supporting the counterargument with specific examples.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the strengths of opposing viewpoints before presenting evidence that supports your stance. This technique demonstrates fairness and depth of analysis.
Task Achievement
6 Bands
Overall, you have tackled the task, but there's room for improvement in structuring your essay to clearly introduce and balance both viewpoints before presenting your opinion. Enhancing the introduction, providing a balanced discussion, and a stronger conclusion could improve your score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have addressed the question by discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion. However, the essay lacks a clear introduction of these viewpoints, making it slightly challenging to follow.
Good example(s)
Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced, not only for their cruelty-free nature but also for potentially offering more accurate predictions of human responses.
This sentence effectively introduces alternatives to animal testing, aligning with the task of discussing other options.
Bad Example(s)
Your essay lacks a direct introduction to the topic and the viewpoints.
A clear introduction helps to set the context and preview the points of discussion.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat clear but could be strengthened with a more structured presentation of points and a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.
Good example(s)
My stance is that research should vigorously pursue these alternatives to avoid animal suffering.
This sentence clearly states your position, showing good development of your argument.
Bad Example(s)
The essay jumps directly into discussing the opposition to animal testing without first presenting the argument in favor.
This approach disrupts the flow and balance of the argument, making it harder to follow.
Supporting Details
Your examples and supporting details are relevant, particularly the mention of modern alternatives to animal testing. However, more detail on how these alternatives work and their benefits could enhance your argument.
Good example(s)
Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced.
This detail supports your argument by providing specific examples of alternatives to animal testing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your stance but lacks a strong closing impact. It could be improved by summarizing the key points of both sides before reaffirming your position.
Bad Example(s)
In summary, while animal testing has undoubtedly contributed to medical advancements in the past, the ethical implications and the availability of emerging alternatives cannot be overlooked.
This sentence is more of a summary than a powerful conclusion. It could be stronger by directly linking back to the essay's argument.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of animal testing in scientific research. You've managed to articulate both sides of the argument effectively, using terminology that is specific to the debate on ethics and scientific advancement. However, there's room for improvement in terms of varying your lexical choices to avoid repetition and to enrich your expression further.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
alternatives 3 times | substitutes, replacements, options |
testing 2 times | experimentation, trials, research |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sentient beings creatures capable of feeling or perceiving things | creatures capable of feeling or perceiving things |
| ethical considerations aspects related to principles of right and wrong behavior | aspects related to principles of right and wrong behavior |
| organ-on-a-chip a microfluidic cell culture device that simulates physiological responses of organ tissues | a microfluidic cell culture device that simulates physiological responses of organ tissues |
| species differences variations between different species that may affect the outcome of scientific experiments | variations between different species that may affect the outcome of scientific experiments |
| cruelty-free products or practices that do not involve harm to animals | products or practices that do not involve harm to animals |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with sentences that are well-constructed and free of errors. Your ability to articulate complex ideas clearly and concisely without grammatical mistakes is commendable. This level of grammatical proficiency supports the effectiveness of your argumentation and enhances the readability of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay showcases a variety of sentence structures, effectively combining simple, compound, and complex sentences to articulate your arguments. This variety helps in maintaining the reader's interest and clearly conveying your points.
Good example(s)
Alternatives like organ-on-a-chip technology and computer modeling have been advanced, not only for their cruelty-free nature but also for potentially offering more accurate predictions of human responses.
This sentence is a good example of a complex sentence that effectively combines multiple ideas with clarity.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and correct, aligning with the standard academic writing requirements. You have effectively used the present tense to discuss current arguments and the potential of alternatives.
Good example(s)
Furthermore, they point to the pressing issue of species differences, which sometimes renders animal experiments an unreliable indicator of human outcomes.
This sentence demonstrates a good use of present tense in discussing ongoing issues, which is appropriate for the context of the essay.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay