Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Two-part Question Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: The potential impact of space debris on Earth's environment is a subject of concern. What are the risks associated with space debris, and how can international collaboration address this issue?
Currently, the major point of concern in astrounouts is the amount of waste content in surrounding of Earth and how it will effect its enviroment in longer run. Delibrately, there multiple risk of this debirs. Not only it can be the reason of satellite collasion and unsucceful spaceship launch, but it can also be the cause of distruption in way of other planets and change climate of Earth. Many organizations are working on this task that how to collect those debris or to avoid making more of it out there. This essay will explore these mega hazards of debris in space and will provide a logical solution of proper implementation of law and regulations to restrict scientist to avoid this mishap in future.
Undeniably, exploration of spcae and lauching a satellites in outer orbit have provided us with mutiple benefits, but we have to pay the price of these fortunes in terms of multiple collisions of satellites results in damage of million dollars alongside the efforts of many years. For instance, Russia launched a satellite in March 2023, for the better communication but all efforts went in vain when it was just about to orbit around the Earth but got in accident with one of the past satellite's debris. As it is known globally, it costs millions or billions of dollar with efforts of thousands of people to launch the satellite or spaceship. Thus, space debris is the one of the breeding cause of satellite collisions.
In addition, space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways. Whenever, a spaceship is launched, the fear of collision is the main concern of all scientists. As multiple spaceships have been launched to explore different planets like Mars, and to land on Moon. But it most of the time get interuppted by waste material in space. It can be proved by the evidence of launching a spaceship on Moon by India in 2023, and in an interview they showed their major concern of debris in space.
Furthermore, some scientists believe that the debris in space is also the major cause of climate change as dangerous rays are now to cross the outer layer of Earth due to fact of its ruption. Therefore, space debris should be handled carefully.
Globally, many organizations are working to tackle this issue. One of the possible solution is that there should be strict laws and regulations to check the spaceship before its launch and if it is failed by some accident, that country should be fined by hefty amount to accomodate the future dangers. There should be research on futher for better technology to avoid this situation too.
In conclusion, space debris is environmental threat to Earth and it should be curbed by using different method to avoid further collisions pf spaceship in future and better technology and laws should be accepted and implemented globally for the sake of future generations.
Undeniably, exploration of spcae and lauching a satellites in outer orbit have provided us with mutiple benefits, but we have to pay the price of these fortunes in terms of multiple collisions of satellites results in damage of million dollars alongside the efforts of many years. For instance, Russia launched a satellite in March 2023, for the better communication but all efforts went in vain when it was just about to orbit around the Earth but got in accident with one of the past satellite's debris. As it is known globally, it costs millions or billions of dollar with efforts of thousands of people to launch the satellite or spaceship. Thus, space debris is the one of the breeding cause of satellite collisions.
In addition, space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways. Whenever, a spaceship is launched, the fear of collision is the main concern of all scientists. As multiple spaceships have been launched to explore different planets like Mars, and to land on Moon. But it most of the time get interuppted by waste material in space. It can be proved by the evidence of launching a spaceship on Moon by India in 2023, and in an interview they showed their major concern of debris in space.
Furthermore, some scientists believe that the debris in space is also the major cause of climate change as dangerous rays are now to cross the outer layer of Earth due to fact of its ruption. Therefore, space debris should be handled carefully.
Globally, many organizations are working to tackle this issue. One of the possible solution is that there should be strict laws and regulations to check the spaceship before its launch and if it is failed by some accident, that country should be fined by hefty amount to accomodate the future dangers. There should be research on futher for better technology to avoid this situation too.
In conclusion, space debris is environmental threat to Earth and it should be curbed by using different method to avoid further collisions pf spaceship in future and better technology and laws should be accepted and implemented globally for the sake of future generations.
Submitted on June 13, 2024 at 7:22 AM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic of space debris and its potential impact on Earth's environment effectively, with a clear structure and relevant examples. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, attention to spelling and grammar is needed, as errors can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing ('astrounouts' should be 'astronauts', 'debirs' should be 'debris', 'collasion' should be 'collision', etc.). Additionally, your argument would benefit from more precise language and technical detail to strengthen your points. The essay suggests international collaboration and stricter laws as solutions but lacks depth in how these measures could be implemented or have been successful in the past. Incorporating more specific examples of international efforts or proposed technologies for debris removal could enhance your argument. Lastly, ensure your essay remains focused on the question's key points throughout, avoiding broad statements that do not directly relate to the risks of space debris and the role of international collaboration. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic but could be improved with greater attention to detail, accuracy, and depth of analysis. Estimated Band Score: 6.0. With refinement, your writing has the potential to achieve a higher score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
Learn more about overall evaluation
Learn more about overall evaluation
5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a moderate understanding of the topic with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing risks and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved for better coherence. Overall, your organization is satisfactory but lacks depth in analysis and connection between ideas. Band: 6.0
Good Sentence(s)
Undeniably, exploration of space and launching satellites in outer orbit have provided us with multiple benefits, but we have to pay the price of these fortunes in terms of multiple collisions of satellites resulting in damage of million dollars alongside the efforts of many years.
This sentence effectively introduces the problem with space debris, linking it to the broader context of space exploration's benefits and costs.
Bad Sentence(s)
Currently, the major point of concern in astronauts is the amount of waste content in surrounding of Earth and how it will effect its environment in longer run.
Corrected Sentence:
Currently, a major point of concern among space scientists is the amount of waste content surrounding Earth and how it will affect its environment in the long run.
Currently, a major point of concern among space scientists is the amount of waste content surrounding Earth and how it will affect its environment in the long run.
Clarify the subject of concern and correct grammatical errors.
Delibrately, there multiple risk of this debirs.
Corrected Sentence:
Deliberately, there are multiple risks associated with this debris.
Deliberately, there are multiple risks associated with this debris.
Correct spelling and grammatical structure for clarity.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by outlining your essay to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and employ concluding sentences to link back to the essay's overall thesis. Additionally, developing each idea fully before moving to the next will strengthen your argument's coherence.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are structured around central ideas, which is good. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more focused development of ideas. Band: 6.0
Bad Sentence(s)
In addition, space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways.
Corrected Sentence:
Additionally, the accumulation of space debris disrupts the natural orbital pathways, posing risks not just to Earth but also to the broader cosmic environment.
Additionally, the accumulation of space debris disrupts the natural orbital pathways, posing risks not just to Earth but also to the broader cosmic environment.
Revise for clarity and relevance to the topic of space debris.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs that start with a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples, and conclude with a sentence that ties the paragraph's main idea back to the essay's overall argument. Avoid introducing new ideas without proper development.
Cohesive Devices
You have made some attempt to use cohesive devices, but their use is not always effective or appropriate, leading to some disjointedness in your essay. Band: 5.5
Bad Sentence(s)
Furthermore, some scientists believe that the debris in space is also the major cause of climate change as dangerous rays are now to cross the outer layer of Earth due to fact of its ruption.
Corrected Sentence:
Furthermore, some scientists believe that space debris contributes to climate change, as it allows more harmful radiation to penetrate Earth's atmosphere.
Furthermore, some scientists believe that space debris contributes to climate change, as it allows more harmful radiation to penetrate Earth's atmosphere.
Clarify the connection between space debris and climate change, and correct the sentence structure.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by first clearly understanding their purpose: to link ideas and paragraphs together. Practice using a variety of devices such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'for instance,' and 'in conclusion' to show the relationship between ideas. Ensure each device is used appropriately to connect ideas logically.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences introduce the subject matter effectively but could be improved for clarity and specificity. They set the stage for the paragraphs but sometimes lack a clear focus on how the paragraph will advance the argument.
Good Sentence(s)
Undeniably, exploration of space and launching satellites in outer orbit have provided us with multiple benefits, but we have to pay the price of these fortunes in terms of multiple collisions of satellites results in damage of million dollars alongside the efforts of many years.
This sentence effectively introduces the paradox of space exploration benefits versus the costs associated with space debris, setting a clear direction for the paragraph.
Bad Sentence(s)
In addition, space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways.
Corrected Sentence:
Moreover, the presence of space debris not only poses a risk to satellite operations but also potentially disrupts the natural orbital paths of celestial bodies.
Moreover, the presence of space debris not only poses a risk to satellite operations but also potentially disrupts the natural orbital paths of celestial bodies.
Clarify the purpose of the paragraph and avoid anthropomorphizing space. Focus on the concrete impact of space debris.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main point. Use active voice and specific language. Avoid vague terms and ensure the sentence guides the reader on what to expect in the paragraph.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments. Including and refuting counterpoints could strengthen your argument by demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Suggestions
To effectively address and integrate counterarguments, first acknowledge potential opposing viewpoints. Then, provide evidence or reasoning to refute these points, demonstrating why your argument remains valid. This approach shows critical thinking and strengthens your position.
Task Achievement
5.5 Bands
Overall, you have made a reasonable attempt to address the question, but your essay would benefit from clearer explanations, more accurate scientific information, and a stronger focus on international collaboration. Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your argument is clearly presented.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Learn more about task achievement evaluation
Response to Question
You addressed the topic of space debris and its potential impacts, as well as the role of international collaboration. However, your essay could benefit from a clearer focus on the specific risks and more detailed discussion on how international collaboration can mitigate these issues.
Good example(s)
Thus, space debris is the one of the breeding cause of satellite collisions.
This sentence directly addresses one of the risks associated with space debris, making it relevant to the question.
Bad Example(s)
In addition, space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways.
This sentence is confusing and does not accurately reflect the scientific understanding of space, detracting from the overall argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat developed but lacks depth in places. While you mention risks and solutions, the connection between them and the role of international collaboration could be stronger.
Good example(s)
Globally, many organizations are working to tackle this issue.
This sentence hints at international efforts, which aligns with the question's focus on collaboration.
Bad Example(s)
Furthermore, some scientists believe that the debris in space is also the major cause of climate change as dangerous rays are now to cross the outer layer of Earth due to fact of its ruption.
This statement is scientifically inaccurate and weakens your argument's credibility.
Supporting Details
Your examples, such as the satellite collision and the Indian spaceship, are relevant but need to be more detailed and accurately presented to strengthen your argument.
Good example(s)
For instance, Russia launched a satellite in March 2023, for the better communication but all efforts went in vain when it was just about to orbit around the Earth but got in accident with one of the past satellite's debris.
This provides a specific example of the risks posed by space debris, making your argument more concrete.
Bad Example(s)
space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath, not to disturb their ways.
This is a repetition, but it's worth noting again that this statement is misleading and detracts from your essay's credibility.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main points but could be strengthened by a more decisive call for international collaboration and clearer suggestions for future actions.
Good example(s)
space debris is environmental threat to Earth and it should be curbed by using different method to avoid further collisions pf spaceship in future and better technology and laws should be accepted and implemented globally for the sake of future generations.
This sentence effectively summarizes the essay's main argument and calls for action.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary related to the topic of space debris and its environmental impact. However, there are several instances of incorrect word usage and spelling errors that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Enhancing your lexical resource by incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary, and paying closer attention to spelling and word choice, could significantly improve your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| astrounouts | astronauts | Spelling error. |
| delibrately | deliberately | Spelling error. |
| debirs | debris | Spelling error. |
| collasion | collision | Spelling error. |
| unsucceful | unsuccessful | Spelling error. |
| distruption | disruption | Spelling error. |
| enviroment | environment | Spelling error. |
| spcae | space | Spelling error. |
| lauching | launching | Spelling error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
space 15 times | outer space, cosmos, extraterrestrial void |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| orbital debris Non-functional, human-made objects in space, including old satellites and spent rocket stages. | Non-functional, human-made objects in space, including old satellites and spent rocket stages. |
| mitigate Make less severe, serious, or painful. | Make less severe, serious, or painful. |
| collateral damage Unintended damage, injuries, or deaths caused by an action. | Unintended damage, injuries, or deaths caused by an action. |
| sustainable practices Methods of using resources that do not lead to depletion of those resources. | Methods of using resources that do not lead to depletion of those resources. |
| international consortium A cooperative arrangement between two or more countries or organizations. | A cooperative arrangement between two or more countries or organizations. |
Out of Context
space was created to have ''SPACE'' for other planets to breath
Corrected Sentence:
space should remain uncluttered to not interfere with planetary orbits
space should remain uncluttered to not interfere with planetary orbits
In the context of space being created for other planets.
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors, including spelling mistakes, incorrect verb forms, and issues with noun-verb agreement. These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Focusing on proofreading and revising your essay for grammatical accuracy could significantly improve its quality. Additionally, paying attention to the correct use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the') and prepositions would enhance the readability of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences show some variation in structure, but there's a tendency towards complex sentences that are not always clearly articulated. Incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences could enhance readability and coherence.
Good example(s)
Globally, many organizations are working to tackle this issue.
This sentence is clear and straightforward, effectively conveying the idea without unnecessary complexity.
Bad Example(s)
Delibrately, there multiple risk of this debirs.
This sentence lacks clarity and grammatical accuracy, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss current situations and future measures. However, there are instances where tense usage is incorrect or inconsistent, affecting the clarity of your arguments.
Bad Example(s)
Not only it can be the reason of satellite collasion and unsucceful spaceship launch, but it can also be the cause of distruption in way of other planets and change climate of Earth.
This sentence mixes future potential ('can be') with present implications in a way that lacks clarity and grammatical coherence.
Grammatical Errors
astrounouts
Correction:
astronauts
astronauts
Spelling mistake.
Delibrately, there multiple risk of this debirs.
Correction:
Deliberately, there are multiple risks of this debris.
Deliberately, there are multiple risks of this debris.
Spelling errors, missing verb ('are'), and noun-verb agreement ('risks').
collasion
Correction:
collision
collision
Spelling mistake.
unsucceful
Correction:
unsuccessful
unsuccessful
Spelling mistake.
spcae
Correction:
space
space
Spelling mistake.
lauching
Correction:
launching
launching
Spelling mistake.