Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people believe that the conservation of endangered species should take precedence over human development projects. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.
It is argued by masses that we should provide more importance to take care of extinction species as compared to projects that designed solely for the purpose of human progress. This essay will explore both views, before reaching a logical opinion.
Food chain preservation is the basic necessity of human life. First and foremost reason to conserve the threaten species is that without having a single specie in ecosystem, a food chain would break and it will eventually effects the humainty in longer run. As every living organism depends on other kind of organisms from wild to human life. That is the main reason to preserve the extincting breed for the well being of future generations. Take an example of China, where in 1990 a regulation passed to build a scientific lab or farm houses to control the extinction of Panda and they successfully achieved their target by regulatory framework followed by common person too. People worked as a volunteer for to control this pressing issue. Thus, it is important to pay attention to species of every kind that are at risk of danger.
Secondly, human development projects mainly focused on the advancement of medicines and it's usage. DIfferent kinds of animals mostly used in these experiments that are essential element of their research and its impossible to carry out these activities without considering the importance of species. For instance, mices are used in worldwide laborateries to test different kind of vaccines and their side effects. If these mouses get extinct, we can imagine the effect of it on future developments. Thus, man should consider the importance of projects related to preservation of species alongside their projects that purposely fostered for human well being.
In my opinion, conservation of species and human development projects go hand in hand, without compromising the vital factors of each.
In conclusion, some people believe that we should pay more attention to species that are at risk of extinction as compared to those projects that prepared for the purpose of human progress only. But I would believe that according to ecosystem, we should pay keen observation to both views by taking in account their importance.
Food chain preservation is the basic necessity of human life. First and foremost reason to conserve the threaten species is that without having a single specie in ecosystem, a food chain would break and it will eventually effects the humainty in longer run. As every living organism depends on other kind of organisms from wild to human life. That is the main reason to preserve the extincting breed for the well being of future generations. Take an example of China, where in 1990 a regulation passed to build a scientific lab or farm houses to control the extinction of Panda and they successfully achieved their target by regulatory framework followed by common person too. People worked as a volunteer for to control this pressing issue. Thus, it is important to pay attention to species of every kind that are at risk of danger.
Secondly, human development projects mainly focused on the advancement of medicines and it's usage. DIfferent kinds of animals mostly used in these experiments that are essential element of their research and its impossible to carry out these activities without considering the importance of species. For instance, mices are used in worldwide laborateries to test different kind of vaccines and their side effects. If these mouses get extinct, we can imagine the effect of it on future developments. Thus, man should consider the importance of projects related to preservation of species alongside their projects that purposely fostered for human well being.
In my opinion, conservation of species and human development projects go hand in hand, without compromising the vital factors of each.
In conclusion, some people believe that we should pay more attention to species that are at risk of extinction as compared to those projects that prepared for the purpose of human progress only. But I would believe that according to ecosystem, we should pay keen observation to both views by taking in account their importance.
Submitted on June 26, 2024 at 5:53 PM
Overall Evaluation
6.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both views on the conservation of endangered species versus human development projects, and you provide a clear opinion, which is good practice for IELTS Task 2 essays. Your introduction sets up the essay well, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your views. However, there are areas for improvement to reach a higher band score. Firstly, your essay would benefit from more precise language and careful proofreading to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity ('masses' could be 'many people', 'extinction species' should be 'endangered species', 'threaten species' should be 'threatened species', 'extincting breed' should be 'endangered species', 'mices' should be 'mice', 'laborateries' should be 'laboratories'). Additionally, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments would strengthen your essay. While the example of panda conservation in China is relevant, expanding on how human development projects can also incorporate conservation efforts would provide a more balanced discussion. Lastly, ensuring coherence and cohesion between ideas (e.g., clearer transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs) would enhance the readability of your essay. Overall, with refinement in language accuracy, development of ideas, and structural coherence, your essay has the potential to achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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6.5
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with a balanced discussion of both views and a conclusion that reflects your opinion. The flow of ideas is logical, moving from the importance of preserving endangered species for the ecosystem and human life to the role of human development projects in advancing medicine. Overall, your essay is well-organized. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost reason to conserve the threaten species is that without having a single specie in ecosystem, a food chain would break and it will eventually effects the humainty in longer run.
This sentence effectively introduces a key argument supporting species conservation, linking it directly to the impact on humanity and the ecosystem.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader. Additionally, using more explicit transition phrases between paragraphs could help in strengthening the flow of your arguments.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and generally well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. However, the connection between human development projects and species conservation could be made clearer in the second body paragraph. Band: 7.0
Good Sentence(s)
Take an example of China, where in 1990 a regulation passed to build a scientific lab or farm houses to control the extinction of Panda and they successfully achieved their target by regulatory framework followed by common person too.
This sentence effectively uses a specific example to support the argument, making the paragraph's point clearer and more persuasive.
Suggestions
To create more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea. Use examples to support your points but avoid diverging into details that may dilute the paragraph’s main argument. Concluding sentences could also help in reinforcing the paragraph’s main point and linking it to the overall argument of the essay.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is adequate, helping to link ideas within and between sentences. However, there's room for improvement in using a wider range of devices to enhance coherence. Band: 6.5
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a variety of transition words and phrases that not only show sequence (firstly, secondly) but also contrast (however, on the other hand) and cause-effect relationships (as a result, therefore). This will make your essay more fluent and easier to follow.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear indication of the direction of each paragraph, effectively setting the stage for the discussion on conservation versus human development projects.
Good Sentence(s)
Food chain preservation is the basic necessity of human life.
This sentence effectively introduces the argument for conservation by linking it directly to human survival, making it a compelling start.
Secondly, human development projects mainly focused on the advancement of medicines and its usage.
It clearly transitions to discussing human development projects, specifically highlighting the focus on medical advancements, which is a strong pivot from the conservation discussion.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph. Use active voice and specific language rather than general statements. Ensure each topic sentence serves as a mini-thesis that guides the content of the paragraph.
Counter Points
You have made an attempt to discuss both views of the argument, but the integration of contrasting viewpoints could be improved. While you mention the importance of both conservation and human development, the essay leans more towards advocating for conservation without fully exploring the potential benefits or necessities of human development projects.
Bad Sentence(s)
In my opinion, conservation of species and human development projects go hand in hand, without compromising the vital factors of each.
Corrected Sentence:
In my opinion, it is possible to balance conservation of species with human development projects by implementing sustainable development strategies that consider the long-term impacts on biodiversity.
In my opinion, it is possible to balance conservation of species with human development projects by implementing sustainable development strategies that consider the long-term impacts on biodiversity.
Clarify how these two objectives can be balanced, providing specific examples or strategies to support your viewpoint.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints and then use evidence or reasoning to show why your perspective adds value or offers a better solution. Incorporate examples that demonstrate successful integration of conservation and development goals.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-structured, presenting a clear argument with relevant examples. To further improve, consider diversifying your supporting evidence and explicitly linking your conclusion to broader implications. Additionally, watch out for minor grammatical errors and ensure precise vocabulary usage to enhance clarity.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have effectively addressed the question by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion. Your essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both conservation of endangered species and human development projects.
Good example(s)
Take an example of China, where in 1990 a regulation passed to build a scientific lab or farm houses to control the extinction of Panda and they successfully achieved their target by regulatory framework followed by common person too.
This example effectively illustrates the positive impact of conservation efforts on endangered species.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and presents a nuanced understanding of the issue. You successfully argue that conservation efforts and human development projects are not mutually exclusive and can be pursued together.
Good example(s)
In my opinion, conservation of species and human development projects go hand in hand, without compromising the vital factors of each.
This sentence clearly articulates your position, demonstrating a well-developed argument.
Supporting Details
Your examples and supporting details are relevant and strengthen your argument. However, you could enhance your essay by providing more diverse examples and possibly including statistics or findings from scientific studies.
Good example(s)
For instance, mices are used in worldwide laboratories to test different kind of vaccines and their side effects.
This detail supports your argument by showing the practical implications of species extinction on human development projects.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your balanced viewpoint. However, it could be strengthened by more explicitly stating the implications of your argument for future policy or action.
Good example(s)
But I would believe that according to ecosystem, we should pay keen observation to both views by taking in account their importance.
This conclusion effectively restates your position and the importance of considering both conservation and development.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of conservation and human development. However, enhancing the variety of expressions and correcting certain inaccuracies could improve the overall lexical performance.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| argued by masses | argued by many | 'Masses' is too general and informal; 'many' is more appropriate in this context. |
| extinction species | endangered species | 'Extinction' is a process, while 'endangered' correctly describes the species' status. |
| threaten species | threatened species | Grammatical accuracy; 'threatened' is the correct adjective form. |
| effects the humainty | affects humanity | 'Affects' is the verb needed here, and 'humanity' is the correct spelling. |
| extincting breed | endangered species | 'Extincting breed' is unclear and incorrect; 'endangered species' is precise. |
| DIfferent kinds of animals mostly used | Various animals are often used | Improves clarity and grammatical structure. |
| mices | mice | 'Mice' is already the plural form of 'mouse'. |
| laborateries | laboratories | Spelling correction. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
species 9 times | fauna, wildlife, creatures |
projects 6 times | initiatives, programs, endeavors |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| biodiversity The variety of plant and animal life in the world or in a particular habitat. | The variety of plant and animal life in the world or in a particular habitat. |
| sustainability The ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level; avoidance of the depletion of natural resources in order to maintain an ecological balance. | The ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level; avoidance of the depletion of natural resources in order to maintain an ecological balance. |
| ecosystem balance The equilibrium between, and harmonious coexistence of, all living and non-living things in an environment. | The equilibrium between, and harmonious coexistence of, all living and non-living things in an environment. |
| conservation efforts Actions taken to preserve, protect, or restore natural environments and wildlife. | Actions taken to preserve, protect, or restore natural environments and wildlife. |
| endangered At risk of extinction. | At risk of extinction. |
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors that impact its clarity and professionalism. Paying closer attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of terms ('endangered species' instead of 'extinction species'), and the proper form of words ('mice' not 'mices') will significantly improve your writing. Additionally, refining your sentence structure for clarity and conciseness will make your arguments more compelling. Overall, your grammar suggests a need for further practice and review, particularly in areas of tense consistency and word choice.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at varying sentence structure, but there's room for improvement in complexity and clarity. Some sentences could be more concise or could benefit from additional complexity to better demonstrate your language skills.
Good example(s)
Take an example of China, where in 1990 a regulation passed to build a scientific lab or farm houses to control the extinction of Panda and they successfully achieved their target by regulatory framework followed by common person too.
This sentence effectively combines historical context with an example, showcasing an ability to integrate complex information within a single sentence.
Bad Example(s)
It is argued by masses that we should provide more importance to take care of extinction species as compared to projects that designed solely for the purpose of human progress.
The sentence is overly complex and awkwardly phrased. Simplifying the structure could enhance clarity.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, aligning with the standard expectations for academic writing. However, there are instances where tense consistency could be improved to better clarify the timing of actions and events.
Bad Example(s)
DIfferent kinds of animals mostly used in these experiments that are essential element of their research and its impossible to carry out these activities without considering the importance of species.
The tense usage here is inconsistent and makes the sentence unclear. It should be clarified to match the rest of the essay's tense structure.
Grammatical Errors
It is argued by masses
Correction:
It is argued by many
It is argued by many
The phrase 'by masses' is not incorrect but 'by many' is more appropriate and common in academic writing.
take care of extinction species
Correction:
take care of endangered species
take care of endangered species
The term 'extinction species' is incorrect; 'endangered species' is the correct term.
without having a single specie
Correction:
without having a single species
without having a single species
'Specie' is not the singular form of 'species'. 'Species' serves as both singular and plural.
effects the humainty
Correction:
affects humanity
affects humanity
The correct word should be 'affects' (to influence) rather than 'effects' (the result of a change), and 'humainty' is a typo for 'humanity'.
DIfferent kinds of animals mostly used
Correction:
Different kinds of animals are mostly used
Different kinds of animals are mostly used
The verb 'are' is missing, making the sentence grammatically incomplete.
mices
Correction:
mice
mice
'Mices' is incorrect; the plural of 'mouse' is 'mice'.