Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: In your view, what are the advantages and disadvantages of implementing measures to regulate and control soil pollution caused by the excessive use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides?

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients. In earlier days our ancestors used traditonal techniques inorder to cultivate the crops but, Now the people are using chemicals in-order to get high yield and to fasten the process of growth.Now the cultivators are looking forward only to decrease the time period of growth by keeping aside about their health issues that can arise due to this chemical fertilizers.
I also agree that there are some advantages of using this pesticides only in a case to control the insects which cannot be restricted by natural methods.we can see that there are some bugs which gains strength on using natural methods, so in-order to control this we need to use pesticides but farmers need to make sure that this chemical's should not cause any effect to food products. Currently we can see the seeds that are used to cultivate are mostly artifically prepared , and this type seeds need some chemicals to have sustainble growth so in this case it is usefull to think about the chemical fertilizer's.
generally nowadays there is lot's of growth in population so to make a faster suuply of food resources we need to grow the crops faster so, by the use of the this synthatic techniques we can decrease the time period of crops and gain yield quicker than original time.

To be honest there are lot more disadvantges of using this chemical fertilizer's, One the biggest problem is health issue which is decreasing the life span of the living creatures. As i mentioned living creatures because if cultivators use this chemicals in the process of production we can observe there are some natural insects and lot's of minerals inside the earth which helps the growth of plants will be destroyed because this are formed naturally but usage of this a man-made techniques will definitely cause damage to natural minerals.
The other cons are creating disturbance in the food chain, insects that are residing near the crops if effected by the chemicals then in chain system we can see it is consumed by some local birds like hens or cocks which are later taken as food source by human will have some negative impact on their health. Other animals like cows are also involved as this animals will feed on grass which are effected by dangerous man-made chemicals so, they may have some illness if it continues for long period.
Submitted on March 30, 2024 at 6:48 AM

Overall Evaluation

5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of using chemical fertilizers and pesticides, which is good. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. Secondly, pay attention to grammar and punctuation. For example, avoid using contractions ('it's' instead of 'it is') and ensure correct use of apostrophes and commas. Thirdly, your argument would be stronger with more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Finally, consider exploring the environmental impact more deeply and suggesting possible solutions to mitigate the disadvantages you've identified. Improving these areas could significantly enhance the coherence and persuasiveness of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

5 Bands

In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay has a basic structure but lacks clear distinction between advantages and disadvantages, which affects the overall flow of ideas. Band: 5.0

Good Sentence(s)

To be honest there are lot more disadvantages of using this chemical fertilizers.
This sentence effectively introduces the discussion on disadvantages.

Bad Sentence(s)

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients.
Corrected Sentence:
Soil plays a prominent role in human life as it is the major source of food production ingredients.
Revise for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Now the people are using chemicals in-order to get high yield and to fasten the process of growth.
Corrected Sentence:
Now, people use chemicals to achieve higher yields and accelerate growth.
Improve clarity and coherence.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression, clearly separate your essay into paragraphs that individually address advantages and disadvantages. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Paragraphing

Your paragraphs are not clearly defined, making it difficult to distinguish between different sections of your essay. Band: 4.5

Bad Sentence(s)

Your entire essay appears as a single paragraph.
Corrected Sentence:
Introduce paragraph breaks to separate introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
Divide your essay into multiple paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point.

Suggestions

Start by organizing your essay into a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence.

Cohesive Devices

Your use of cohesive devices is minimal, impacting the flow and coherence of your essay. Band: 4.5

Bad Sentence(s)

generally nowadays there is lot's of growth in population so to make a faster suuply of food resources we need to grow the crops faster so, by the use of the this synthatic techniques we can decrease the time period of crops and gain yield quicker than original time.
Corrected Sentence:
Due to the rapid growth in population, there is a need to accelerate food production. By employing synthetic techniques, we can shorten the growth period of crops and achieve quicker yields.
Clarify and correct the use of cohesive devices for better flow.

Suggestions

Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of transitions such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast' to better link your ideas. Practice using these devices to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences provide a basic framework for discussing the advantages and disadvantages of chemical fertilizers and pesticides but could be more specific and engaging to better guide the reader through your argument.

Good Sentence(s)

I also agree that there are some advantages of using this pesticides only in a case to control the insects which cannot be restricted by natural methods.
This sentence effectively introduces the discussion on the necessity of pesticides in certain situations, acknowledging a nuanced view.

Bad Sentence(s)

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients.
Corrected Sentence:
Soil plays a prominent role in human life as the primary source of food production.
Revise to correct grammatical errors and make the statement more impactful as a topic sentence.

Suggestions

To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement that reflects the main idea of the paragraph. Use active voice and specific language to directly address the essay question. Ensure each topic sentence serves as a mini-thesis that guides the content of the paragraph.

Counter Points

You have attempted to address contrasting viewpoints by acknowledging the necessity of chemicals in certain agricultural scenarios. However, the exploration of these counterpoints lacks depth and fails to fully integrate these perspectives into a balanced argument.

Bad Sentence(s)

Currently we can see the seeds that are used to cultivate are mostly artifically prepared, and this type seeds need some chemicals to have sustainble growth so in this case it is usefull to think about the chemical fertilizer's.
Corrected Sentence:
While it's true that many of today's seeds are genetically modified to require chemical fertilizers for optimal growth, it's crucial to balance this need with the environmental and health impacts of such chemicals.
Clarify and expand on the counterpoint to make it more compelling and integrate it more smoothly into the argument.

Suggestions

To better address and integrate counterarguments, first clearly state the counterpoint, then provide evidence or reasoning to show why this perspective is important. Follow this with a rebuttal that ties back to your main argument, showing how it either strengthens your position or why the counterargument may not fully undermine your stance. This structure helps in creating a more nuanced and persuasive essay.

Task Achievement

4.5 Bands
You have made an effort to cover the topic, but your essay lacks coherence and detailed analysis. The structure needs improvement for clarity, and your argument would benefit from more precise examples and a clearer stance. Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to enhance readability.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You addressed the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of using chemical fertilizers and pesticides. However, your response could be more focused and structured to directly answer the question more effectively.

Good example(s)

I also agree that there are some advantages of using this pesticides only in a case to control the insects which cannot be restricted by natural methods.
This sentence directly addresses part of the question by acknowledging a specific advantage of chemical usage.

Bad Example(s)

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients.
This sentence, while true, is too general and does not directly engage with the question's focus on regulation and control of soil pollution.

Development of Position

Your argument is somewhat clear but lacks depth and structured development. You mention both sides of the argument but do not delve deeply into the implications or possible solutions.

Bad Example(s)

Now the cultivators are looking forward only to decrease the time period of growth by keeping aside about their health issues that can arise due to this chemical fertilizers.
This sentence attempts to develop a position but is vague and lacks a clear argumentative direction.

Supporting Details

Your examples are relevant but need to be more detailed and specific to strengthen your argument. Including data or studies could enhance your points.

Bad Example(s)

we can see that there are some bugs which gains strength on using natural methods, so in-order to control this we need to use pesticides
This detail lacks specificity and does not provide concrete evidence to support the claim.

Conclusion

Your conclusion needs to be more pronounced and reflective of the discussion. Summarizing key points and stating your stance clearly would make it stronger.

Bad Example(s)

Lexical Resources

5.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic, but there are several areas where lexical resources could be improved to enhance clarity and precision. The use of contractions and informal language detracts from the academic tone expected in IELTS Task 2 essays. Additionally, there are instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors that need attention. Expanding your vocabulary related to agriculture, environmental science, and health could significantly improve your lexical resource score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Lexical Mistakes

MistakeCorrectionReason
play's playsIncorrect use of apostrophe for plural form.
traditonal traditionalSpelling error.
in-order in orderUnnecessary hyphenation.
suuply supplySpelling error.
synthatic syntheticSpelling error.
disadvantges disadvantagesSpelling error.
fertilizer's fertilizersIncorrect use of apostrophe for plural form.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
chemicals 9 times
pesticides, fertilizers, synthetic substances

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
sustainable agriculture Farming in sustainable ways based on an understanding of ecosystem services, the study of relationships between organisms and their environment.
bioaccumulation The accumulation of substances, such as pesticides, or other chemicals in an organism.
ecosystem disruption A disturbance to an ecosystem that destroys the balance and harmony of the environment.
toxicity The degree to which a substance can damage an organism.
agrochemicals Chemicals used in agriculture, including pesticides, herbicides, and fertilizers.

Out of Context

lot's of growth
Corrected Sentence:
a lot of growth
Discussing the impact of chemicals on agriculture.
living creatures because
Corrected Sentence:
living creatures, because
Describing the disadvantages of chemical use.

Grammatical Range

5.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors that impact its clarity and professionalism. Issues such as incorrect apostrophe use, wrong article usage, and improper phrase construction detract from the overall quality. Focusing on these areas can significantly improve your writing. Additionally, incorporating more complex sentence structures and ensuring tense consistency would enhance the readability and effectiveness of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of sentence structure, but lacks variety and complexity. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences that enhance readability and depth of analysis.

Bad Example(s)

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients.
This sentence incorrectly uses an apostrophe in 'plays' and 'an' before a consonant sound. It also lacks complexity.
Now the people are using chemicals in-order to get high yield and to fasten the process of growth.
The phrase 'in-order' should be 'in order'. The sentence structure is overly simplistic and could be combined with the next for more complexity.

Tense Usage

Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss current situations. However, there are instances where tense consistency is lost, impacting the clarity of your arguments.

Bad Example(s)

Now the cultivators are looking forward only to decrease the time period of growth by keeping aside about their health issues that can arise due to this chemical fertilizers.
This sentence mixes future potential ('can arise') with present continuous in a way that muddles the time frame and clarity.

Grammatical Errors

Soil play's an prominent role in human life because it is the major source for production of food ingredients.
Correction:
Soil plays a prominent role in human life because it is the major source of food ingredients.
Incorrect use of apostrophe in 'plays', incorrect article 'an' before a consonant sound, and 'for' should be 'of'.
in-order
Correction:
in order
'in-order' is not correct; 'in order' is the correct phrase.
lot's of growth
Correction:
lots of growth
Incorrect use of apostrophe in 'lots'. The apostrophe suggests possession, which is not the intended meaning.