Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Problem/Solution Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: In many countries, the prison system is overcrowded and expensive to maintain. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?
The issue of overcrowded and costly prison systems is a significant problem in many countries around the world. This essay will explore the causes of this issue and propose some feasible solutions.
One of the primary causes of overcrowded prisons is the high rate of recidivism. Many offenders, after serving their time, find themselves back in prison due to a lack of rehabilitation programs and support systems that are essential for their reintegration into society. Additionally, the war on drugs has led to the incarceration of a large number of individuals for minor drug offenses, significantly contributing to the overcrowding issue.
Another cause is the lengthy sentences handed out for crimes that could be punished with alternative measures. This not only exacerbates the overcrowding problem but also places a substantial financial burden on the state due to the high costs associated with maintaining prisons and prisoners.
To address these issues, one solution could be the implementation of more effective rehabilitation programs aimed at reducing recidivism. By providing prisoners with education, vocational training, and psychological support, they can be better prepared to reintegrate into society and less likely to re-offend. Additionally, revising sentencing laws, especially for non-violent and minor drug offenses, could significantly reduce the number of individuals in prison. The introduction of alternative sentencing options such as community service, probation, or house arrest for minor offenses could alleviate the pressure on the prison system.
In conclusion, the overcrowding and high maintenance costs of prisons are issues that can be addressed by focusing on rehabilitation and revising sentencing laws. By implementing these solutions, not only can the burden on the prison system be alleviated, but society as a whole can benefit from a more humane and effective approach to crime and punishment.
One of the primary causes of overcrowded prisons is the high rate of recidivism. Many offenders, after serving their time, find themselves back in prison due to a lack of rehabilitation programs and support systems that are essential for their reintegration into society. Additionally, the war on drugs has led to the incarceration of a large number of individuals for minor drug offenses, significantly contributing to the overcrowding issue.
Another cause is the lengthy sentences handed out for crimes that could be punished with alternative measures. This not only exacerbates the overcrowding problem but also places a substantial financial burden on the state due to the high costs associated with maintaining prisons and prisoners.
To address these issues, one solution could be the implementation of more effective rehabilitation programs aimed at reducing recidivism. By providing prisoners with education, vocational training, and psychological support, they can be better prepared to reintegrate into society and less likely to re-offend. Additionally, revising sentencing laws, especially for non-violent and minor drug offenses, could significantly reduce the number of individuals in prison. The introduction of alternative sentencing options such as community service, probation, or house arrest for minor offenses could alleviate the pressure on the prison system.
In conclusion, the overcrowding and high maintenance costs of prisons are issues that can be addressed by focusing on rehabilitation and revising sentencing laws. By implementing these solutions, not only can the burden on the prison system be alleviated, but society as a whole can benefit from a more humane and effective approach to crime and punishment.
Submitted on June 27, 2024 at 10:26 AM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the question by identifying key causes of overcrowded and expensive prison systems and proposing viable solutions. Your introduction sets a clear direction for the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments. The structure of your essay is logical, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. You have demonstrated a good understanding of the topic by discussing the high rate of recidivism and the impact of the war on drugs as primary causes, and by suggesting rehabilitation and sentencing law revision as solutions. To further improve, consider incorporating examples or case studies to support your arguments and make them more convincing. Additionally, exploring the potential challenges in implementing your proposed solutions could provide a more comprehensive analysis. Overall, your essay is well-written and addresses the task effectively.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively addressing the causes and solutions to the overcrowded and costly prison system. Overall, the organization aligns well with the expectations for IELTS Task 2 essays, meriting a score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
One of the primary causes of overcrowded prisons is the high rate of recidivism.
This sentence effectively introduces a key point, making the argument easy to follow.
To address these issues, one solution could be the implementation of more effective rehabilitation programs aimed at reducing recidivism.
It clearly transitions to solutions, maintaining a strong logical flow.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider explicitly linking your solutions back to the causes they address. This can be achieved by using phrases such as 'In response to the issue of recidivism, one solution is...'.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the issue or a proposed solution. This clarity and structure support an evaluation score of 8.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Another cause is the lengthy sentences handed out for crimes that could be punished with alternative measures.
This sentence effectively opens a paragraph that shifts the focus to a new cause, maintaining clarity and coherence.
Suggestions
For even more focused paragraphs, try to start each with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that ties back to the essay’s overall thesis.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, facilitating a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay. This aspect of your writing would likely score around 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, revising sentencing laws, especially for non-violent and minor drug offenses, could significantly reduce the number of individuals in prison.
The use of 'Additionally' effectively signals additional information and connects ideas smoothly.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider varying them more and including devices that contrast ideas or indicate cause and effect, such as 'however,' 'therefore,' or 'as a result.' This will add sophistication to your writing.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main ideas of each paragraph, clearly stating the causes of prison overcrowding and the proposed solutions.
Good Sentence(s)
One of the primary causes of overcrowded prisons is the high rate of recidivism.
This sentence clearly introduces the paragraph's focus on recidivism as a major cause of overcrowding, guiding the reader on what to expect in the discussion.
To address these issues, one solution could be the implementation of more effective rehabilitation programs aimed at reducing recidivism.
It effectively transitions the essay from problem to solution, indicating the paragraph will discuss rehabilitation programs.
Suggestions
To enhance the impact of your topic sentences, consider incorporating specific effects or implications of the issues or solutions you are about to discuss. This can add depth and engage the reader more effectively.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address counterpoints or contrasting viewpoints, focusing instead on outlining problems and proposing solutions. Including a discussion of potential objections or alternative views could strengthen your argument.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments effectively, identify common objections or alternative perspectives on prison overcrowding and its solutions. Then, dedicate a portion of your essay to addressing these points, either by refuting them or by acknowledging their validity and explaining how your proposals can accommodate or address these concerns.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you did well in addressing the task. You clearly outlined the causes and solutions, developed your position with relevant examples, and concluded your essay effectively. To further improve, consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments and possibly a stronger call to action in your conclusion. Your essay is coherent and well-organized, which makes it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You effectively addressed the question by identifying clear causes and proposing viable solutions for the overcrowded and expensive prison systems. Your essay hits the mark by covering both aspects of the question comprehensively.
Good example(s)
One of the primary causes of overcrowded prisons is the high rate of recidivism.
This sentence directly addresses one of the causes of the problem, making your argument clear and relevant.
To address these issues, one solution could be the implementation of more effective rehabilitation programs aimed at reducing recidivism.
This sentence effectively proposes a solution that is directly linked to one of the causes you identified, showing a logical progression in your argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and well-structured, with a logical flow from identifying the problem to proposing solutions. You made your point strongly by linking causes to specific solutions.
Good example(s)
Additionally, revising sentencing laws, especially for non-violent and minor drug offenses, could significantly reduce the number of individuals in prison.
This sentence shows good development of position by suggesting a practical solution that addresses a specific cause of overcrowding.
Supporting Details
Your examples and explanations are relevant and support your argument well. However, including more specific examples or data could strengthen your argument further.
Good example(s)
By providing prisoners with education, vocational training, and psychological support, they can be better prepared to reintegrate into society and less likely to re-offend.
This detail supports your solution by explaining how it would work in practice, making your argument more convincing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion is on point, summarizing the causes and solutions effectively. However, a stronger call to action or a brief mention of the potential impact of these solutions could add more punch.
Good example(s)
By implementing these solutions, not only can the burden on the prison system be alleviated, but society as a whole can benefit from a more humane and effective approach to crime and punishment.
This sentence effectively wraps up your essay, highlighting the broader benefits of your proposed solutions.
Lexical Resources
8.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resources with varied vocabulary and precise language that is appropriate for the topic. You effectively convey complex ideas and arguments using well-chosen words, which enhances the clarity and impact of your writing. However, there's always room for improvement, especially in avoiding repetition and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas even more effectively.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
prison 5 times | correctional facility, detention center, penitentiary, jail |
solution 3 times | remedy, resolution, approach, strategy |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| recidivism The tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend. | The tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend. |
| rehabilitation The action of restoring someone to health or normal life through training and therapy after imprisonment, addiction, or illness. | The action of restoring someone to health or normal life through training and therapy after imprisonment, addiction, or illness. |
| reintegrate Restore to a position as a fully accepted member of society. | Restore to a position as a fully accepted member of society. |
| non-violent offenses Crimes that do not involve the use of any force or injury to another person. | Crimes that do not involve the use of any force or injury to another person. |
| alternative sentencing A punishment given to offenders that is different from incarceration, such as community service or house arrest. | A punishment given to offenders that is different from incarceration, such as community service or house arrest. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with no significant errors detected. You have demonstrated a good command of English grammar, contributing to the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay. Your sentences are well-constructed, and you have effectively used a variety of grammatical structures to articulate your ideas clearly and concisely. Keep focusing on maintaining this level of grammatical accuracy in your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your sentence structures throughout the essay were generally varied and complex, contributing positively to the readability and sophistication of your argument.
Good example(s)
By providing prisoners with education, vocational training, and psychological support, they can be better prepared to reintegrate into society and less likely to re-offend.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure by incorporating a conditional clause, which adds depth to your argument and demonstrates an ability to construct nuanced sentences.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay was consistent and correct, effectively supporting the clarity and coherence of your discussion.
Good example(s)
Additionally, the war on drugs has led to the incarceration of a large number of individuals for minor drug offenses, significantly contributing to the overcrowding issue.
This sentence correctly uses the present perfect tense to discuss a situation that started in the past and continues to affect the present, which is appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay