Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Crime rates are often higher in densely populated urban areas than in rural areas; as a result, some argue that the movement of people from the countryside to cities may lead to an increase in crime and strain on the criminal justice system. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
The ratio of crimes is more in cities as compared to the rural side, some individuals have a parallel thought that this is due to the movement of village's dweller. Urbanization may cause crimes due to lackness of education in villager's. But in my tuppence worth, the people of village have no intentions like that because they previously belongs to that land where crime rate is little bit less. In short, village's dweller doesn't familiar with crime's.
To begin with, the crime percentage is bit enough in cities due to lack of awareness of new migrated people. On the other hand, city is better aboding place everyone move to cities but the people who are living in cities are familiar with the situation and they are more cleaver as compared to new ones, so that crime rate is increasing due to cities dweller.
However, the people from countryside are almost have been living in poverty due to that fact they might be do any crime. Despites these hazards, when the villagers make plan to urbanization, in fact they arrange and think about all resources like, living, grocery, shopping, transportation and education. The facilities which are available in cities might be the possible reason to move so, village people do not do this because they do not know the cities well.
On balance, I am agree with that statement, crime rate is high in cities but that is not due to rural people. But it could be decrease by implying rules by the government.
To begin with, the crime percentage is bit enough in cities due to lack of awareness of new migrated people. On the other hand, city is better aboding place everyone move to cities but the people who are living in cities are familiar with the situation and they are more cleaver as compared to new ones, so that crime rate is increasing due to cities dweller.
However, the people from countryside are almost have been living in poverty due to that fact they might be do any crime. Despites these hazards, when the villagers make plan to urbanization, in fact they arrange and think about all resources like, living, grocery, shopping, transportation and education. The facilities which are available in cities might be the possible reason to move so, village people do not do this because they do not know the cities well.
On balance, I am agree with that statement, crime rate is high in cities but that is not due to rural people. But it could be decrease by implying rules by the government.
Submitted on January 25, 2024 at 2:09 PM
Overall Evaluation
4.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic by discussing the relationship between urbanization and crime rates, and you present a clear stance that rural people moving to cities are not the primary cause of increased crime rates in urban areas. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving a specific purpose. Secondly, your argument could be strengthened by providing more evidence and examples to support your claims. Additionally, there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay that hinder clarity. For instance, 'lackness of education in villager's' should be 'lack of education in villagers'. Also, be cautious with possessive forms and pluralization, as seen in 'village's dweller' which should be 'villagers' or 'village dwellers'. Lastly, work on your conclusion to more effectively summarize your arguments and restate your position. Improving these aspects will make your essay more coherent and persuasive.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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4.5
Coherence & Cohesion
4 Bands
Your essay struggles with coherence and cohesion. The ideas are somewhat connected, but the transitions between them are often abrupt or unclear. The use of specific examples or clearer explanations could improve the flow. Additionally, addressing grammatical errors and ensuring sentence structures are varied but clear would significantly enhance readability and the logical flow of your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay lacks a clear structure and idea flow. The arguments are not fully developed, and the connection between them is weak.
Bad Sentence(s)
Urbanization may cause crimes due to lackness of education in villager's.
Corrected Sentence:
Urbanization may lead to an increase in crime rates due to a lack of education among villagers.
Urbanization may lead to an increase in crime rates due to a lack of education among villagers.
Clarify the argument and correct grammatical errors.
In short, village's dweller doesn't familiar with crime's.
Corrected Sentence:
In short, villagers are not familiar with crimes.
In short, villagers are not familiar with crimes.
Correct the grammatical mistakes and clarify the meaning.
Suggestions
Focus on creating a clear thesis statement and outline your main points before writing. Ensure each paragraph supports your argument coherently.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are not clearly structured, making it difficult to follow your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with, the crime percentage is bit enough in cities due to lack of awareness of new migrated people.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, cities experience higher crime rates partly because newly migrated people lack awareness of urban challenges.
To begin with, cities experience higher crime rates partly because newly migrated people lack awareness of urban challenges.
Start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Suggestions
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is limited, making it hard to see the connection between sentences and ideas.
Bad Sentence(s)
However, the people from countryside are almost have been living in poverty due to that fact they might be do any crime.
Corrected Sentence:
However, people from the countryside, often living in poverty, might resort to crime.
However, people from the countryside, often living in poverty, might resort to crime.
Improve coherence by rephrasing and using appropriate cohesive devices.
Suggestions
Use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'consequently', and 'for example' to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences need improvement for clarity and directness. They tend to be vague and do not always clearly introduce the paragraph's main idea.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with, the crime percentage is bit enough in cities due to lack of awareness of new migrated people.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, urban crime rates escalate primarily due to the lack of awareness among newly migrated individuals.
To begin with, urban crime rates escalate primarily due to the lack of awareness among newly migrated individuals.
Clarify and directly state how urban migration relates to crime rates.
However, the people from countryside are almost have been living in poverty due to that fact they might be do any crime.
Corrected Sentence:
However, people from the countryside, often living in poverty, may resort to crime under financial pressures.
However, people from the countryside, often living in poverty, may resort to crime under financial pressures.
Rewrite for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Suggestions
Focus on clarity and specificity in your topic sentences. Start with a clear statement of the paragraph’s main idea, then elaborate or explain this idea in the sentences that follow. Avoid vague language and ensure grammatical accuracy to enhance readability.
Counter Points
You attempted to address contrasting viewpoints, but your handling of counterpoints lacks depth and clarity. The transition between your views and the counterarguments is not smooth, making it difficult for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
Bad Sentence(s)
But in my tuppence worth, the people of village have no intentions like that because they previously belongs to that land where crime rate is little bit less.
Corrected Sentence:
However, I believe that villagers moving to cities do not inherently intend to engage in criminal activities, as they come from environments with lower crime rates.
However, I believe that villagers moving to cities do not inherently intend to engage in criminal activities, as they come from environments with lower crime rates.
Clarify and strengthen the counterargument by providing evidence or a clearer rationale.
Suggestions
To better address and integrate counterarguments, start by clearly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint. Then, provide specific evidence or reasoning to refute or support this viewpoint. Use transitional phrases to smoothly shift between your argument and counterarguments, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
4 Bands
Overall, your essay attempts to address the question but struggles with clarity, coherence, and grammatical accuracy. Your argument is not fully developed, and your supporting details are weak and sometimes contradictory. Focusing on clearer expression, providing specific examples, and improving grammatical accuracy would greatly enhance your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You partially addressed the question, but your argument could be clearer. It seems you believe urban crimes are not primarily caused by rural migrants.
Bad Example(s)
In short, village's dweller doesn't familiar with crime's.
This sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect, making your argument difficult to follow.
Development of Position
Your position is somewhat developed, but it lacks clarity and coherence in places, making your main argument hard to follow.
Bad Example(s)
However, the people from countryside are almost have been living in poverty due to that fact they might be do any crime.
This sentence contradicts your main argument and is grammatically incorrect.
Supporting Details
Your essay lacks strong, clear examples to support your arguments. More specific details and evidence are needed to strengthen your position.
Bad Example(s)
Despites these hazards, when the villagers make plan to urbanization, in fact they arrange and think about all resources like, living, grocery, shopping, transportation and education.
This sentence is confusing and does not clearly support your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion is somewhat relevant but lacks the strength to effectively summarize your argument or suggest a clear solution.
Bad Example(s)
But it could be decrease by implying rules by the government.
This conclusion is too vague and does not effectively wrap up your essay.
Lexical Resources
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary related to the topic of urbanization and crime rates. However, there are several instances of incorrect word usage and grammatical errors that impact the clarity of your arguments. Enhancing your lexical resources with more precise and varied language could significantly improve your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| lackness | lack | 'Lackness' is not a standard English word. 'Lack' is the correct term to denote the absence of something. |
| village's dweller | villagers | 'Village's dweller' is incorrect and awkward. 'Villagers' is the proper term for people living in a village. |
| bit enough | quite high | 'Bit enough' is unclear and incorrect. 'Quite high' accurately describes a significant amount or level. |
| cleaver | clever | 'Cleaver' is a tool for chopping. 'Clever' means intelligent or skillful, which is the intended meaning. |
| I am agree | I agree | 'I am agree' is grammatically incorrect. 'I agree' is the correct form. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
cities 9 times | urban areas, metropolitan areas, towns |
crime 6 times | criminal activity, lawbreaking |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Urbanization The process by which towns and cities are formed and become larger as more and more people begin living and working in central areas. | The process by which towns and cities are formed and become larger as more and more people begin living and working in central areas. |
| Migration Movement from one part of something to another. | Movement from one part of something to another. |
| Socioeconomic factors Social and economic experiences and realities that help mold one's personality, attitudes, and lifestyle. | Social and economic experiences and realities that help mold one's personality, attitudes, and lifestyle. |
| Legislation Laws, considered collectively. | Laws, considered collectively. |
| Civic infrastructure The physical structures and facilities (e.g., buildings, roads, power supplies) needed for the operation of a society or enterprise. | The physical structures and facilities (e.g., buildings, roads, power supplies) needed for the operation of a society or enterprise. |
Out of Context
despites
Corrected Sentence:
despite
despite
Describing the adaptation of villagers to city life.
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors that impact its clarity and coherence. Issues include misuse of possessive forms, awkward phrasing, and incorrect verb structures. Focusing on these areas can significantly improve your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a need for improvement in sentence structure. The sentences are often repetitive and lack complexity, which is essential for a higher band score in IELTS writing.
Bad Example(s)
Urbanization may cause crimes due to lackness of education in villager's.
This sentence is awkwardly structured and contains possessive errors ('villager's'). A more complex structure could enhance clarity and readability.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is inconsistent, leading to confusion about when events are happening. It's crucial to maintain tense consistency to convey your message clearly.
Bad Example(s)
On balance, I am agree with that statement, crime rate is high in cities but that is not due to rural people.
The phrase 'I am agree' is incorrect tense usage. It should be 'I agree'.
Grammatical Errors
lackness of education in villager's
Correction:
lack of education in villagers
lack of education in villagers
Incorrect noun form and misuse of possessive apostrophe.
village's dweller doesn't familiar with crime's
Correction:
village dwellers are not familiar with crimes
village dwellers are not familiar with crimes
Misuse of possessive form, incorrect verb form, and unnecessary apostrophe in 'crimes'.
crime percentage is bit enough in cities
Correction:
crime rate is quite high in cities
crime rate is quite high in cities
Awkward phrasing and incorrect adjective usage.
people from countryside are almost have been living
Correction:
people from the countryside have almost been living
people from the countryside have almost been living
Incorrect verb structure and missing article.
I am agree with that statement
Correction:
I agree with that statement
I agree with that statement
Incorrect verb form.