Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: In your opinion, what are the societal advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel as a way to enhance cultural understanding and global connections?
Promoting international travel has been a significant trend in recent years, with the aim of fostering cultural understanding and strengthening global connections. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages that impact society in various ways.
The primary advantage of promoting international travel is the enhancement of cultural understanding. When people travel to different parts of the world, they get exposed to diverse cultures, traditions, and ways of life. This exposure can help to break down stereotypes and prejudices, fostering a more inclusive and tolerant society. Additionally, international travel can also lead to the exchange of ideas and knowledge, which can contribute to societal progress and innovation.
Another advantage is the strengthening of global connections. International travel facilitates interpersonal relationships across borders, promoting peace and cooperation among nations. It also boosts the global economy by stimulating tourism and trade, creating jobs, and contributing to economic growth in both the source and destination countries.
However, there are also disadvantages associated with promoting international travel. One of the main concerns is the environmental impact. Increased travel, particularly by air, contributes significantly to global carbon emissions, leading to climate change. This environmental cost can have severe consequences for society, including natural disasters and health problems.
Moreover, the promotion of international travel can lead to over-tourism, resulting in the degradation of natural and cultural heritage sites. This can negatively impact local communities, disrupting their way of life and causing the loss of cultural identity.
The primary advantage of promoting international travel is the enhancement of cultural understanding. When people travel to different parts of the world, they get exposed to diverse cultures, traditions, and ways of life. This exposure can help to break down stereotypes and prejudices, fostering a more inclusive and tolerant society. Additionally, international travel can also lead to the exchange of ideas and knowledge, which can contribute to societal progress and innovation.
Another advantage is the strengthening of global connections. International travel facilitates interpersonal relationships across borders, promoting peace and cooperation among nations. It also boosts the global economy by stimulating tourism and trade, creating jobs, and contributing to economic growth in both the source and destination countries.
However, there are also disadvantages associated with promoting international travel. One of the main concerns is the environmental impact. Increased travel, particularly by air, contributes significantly to global carbon emissions, leading to climate change. This environmental cost can have severe consequences for society, including natural disasters and health problems.
Moreover, the promotion of international travel can lead to over-tourism, resulting in the degradation of natural and cultural heritage sites. This can negatively impact local communities, disrupting their way of life and causing the loss of cultural identity.
Submitted on April 2, 2024 at 11:49 AM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the question, outlining both the advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel for enhancing cultural understanding and global connections. You have clearly structured your essay, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, which makes your argument easy to follow. Your use of examples and explanations to support your points is commendable. However, to further improve, consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument. Additionally, a conclusion summarizing your main points and stating your own opinion would make your essay more complete. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively outlining the advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel. The flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next is smooth, making your arguments easy to follow. Band: 8.0
Good Sentence(s)
When people travel to different parts of the world, they get exposed to diverse cultures, traditions, and ways of life.
This sentence effectively introduces the advantage of enhanced cultural understanding through international travel.
However, there are also disadvantages associated with promoting international travel.
This sentence smoothly transitions the essay from discussing advantages to discussing disadvantages, maintaining a logical flow.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in future essays, consider using more varied transitional phrases to link ideas between paragraphs and within them. This will help reinforce the structure of your argument.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all easily identifiable, contributing to the overall clarity of your essay. Band: 8.5
Good Sentence(s)
Promoting international travel has been a significant trend in recent years, with the aim of fostering cultural understanding and strengthening global connections.
This opening sentence effectively sets the stage for the essay by introducing the topic and its significance.
Suggestions
For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, try to start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea. Then, use the rest of the paragraph to elaborate on this idea with examples and explanations.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively links sentences and ideas, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. You have successfully used conjunctions and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Band: 8.0
Good Sentence(s)
Additionally, international travel can also lead to the exchange of ideas and knowledge, which can contribute to societal progress and innovation.
The use of 'Additionally' here effectively introduces an additional advantage, making the text more cohesive.
Moreover, the promotion of international travel can lead to over-tourism, resulting in the degradation of natural and cultural heritage sites.
The use of 'Moreover' smoothly transitions to another point, enhancing the essay's coherence.
Suggestions
To further improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of them into your writing. This includes synonyms for common words like 'additionally' and 'moreover,' as well as more complex linking phrases that can add depth to your argumentation.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively outline the main advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel, setting a clear direction for the discussion in each paragraph.
Good Sentence(s)
The primary advantage of promoting international travel is the enhancement of cultural understanding.
This sentence clearly introduces the advantage of cultural understanding through international travel.
However, there are also disadvantages associated with promoting international travel.
It effectively signals a shift to discussing the disadvantages, maintaining a balanced view.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the main idea, then briefly hint at the supporting details or argument that will follow. Ensure each topic sentence directly relates to the question.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel. However, the integration of these viewpoints could be deepened by directly contrasting them within the same paragraph to enhance the argumentative depth.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, consider presenting a counterpoint immediately after stating a point, then refute or support it with evidence. This structure can make your argument more persuasive and nuanced.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a good job in addressing the task. Your essay is well-structured, presenting a clear and balanced view on the topic. To improve, consider adding more specific examples or data to support your arguments and a more compelling conclusion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have effectively addressed the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of promoting international travel. Your essay provides a balanced view on how it impacts societal cultural understanding and global connections.
Good example(s)
When people travel to different parts of the world, they get exposed to diverse cultures, traditions, and ways of life.
This sentence clearly highlights how international travel enhances cultural understanding, directly answering the essay question.
Development of Position
Your argument is well-developed and clear. You have successfully made your point by systematically discussing the advantages and disadvantages, providing a comprehensive view.
Good example(s)
Another advantage is the strengthening of global connections. International travel facilitates interpersonal relationships across borders, promoting peace and cooperation among nations.
This sentence effectively develops your position on the advantages of international travel, making your argument stronger.
Supporting Details
Your examples and supporting details are relevant and strengthen your argument. However, incorporating more specific examples or statistics could further enhance your essay.
Good example(s)
It also boosts the global economy by stimulating tourism and trade, creating jobs, and contributing to economic growth in both the source and destination countries.
This detail supports your argument about the economic benefits of international travel, making your position more convincing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well but could be more impactful by suggesting potential solutions to the disadvantages mentioned.
Good example(s)
This environmental cost can have severe consequences for society, including natural disasters and health problems.
Although not a conclusion sentence, it effectively highlights a critical issue that could be addressed in a stronger concluding statement.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of international travel and its societal impacts. You effectively use terminology related to cultural understanding, global connections, and environmental concerns. However, diversifying your lexical choices could enhance the richness of your expression and potentially improve the lexical band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
advantage 2 times | benefit, merit, positive aspect |
disadvantage 2 times | drawback, downside, negative aspect |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| fostering Encouraging or promoting the development of something (often something positive). | Encouraging or promoting the development of something (often something positive). |
| stereotypes Oversimplified and fixed ideas or perceptions of particular types of people or things. | Oversimplified and fixed ideas or perceptions of particular types of people or things. |
| interpersonal relationships The connections and interactions between two or more people. | The connections and interactions between two or more people. |
| over-tourism A situation where too many visitors overwhelm a destination, leading to environmental degradation and negative impacts on local communities. | A situation where too many visitors overwhelm a destination, leading to environmental degradation and negative impacts on local communities. |
| cultural identity The feeling of belonging to a group that shares the same cultural background or heritage. | The feeling of belonging to a group that shares the same cultural background or heritage. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with no significant errors detected. Your sentences are well-constructed, and you've managed to maintain grammatical consistency throughout the essay. This contributes greatly to the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which enhances readability and engagement.
Good example(s)
When people travel to different parts of the world, they get exposed to diverse cultures, traditions, and ways of life.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to convey a cause-and-effect relationship, enhancing the clarity of your argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses throughout the essay is consistent and correct, effectively supporting the clarity and coherence of your arguments.
Good example(s)
Promoting international travel has been a significant trend in recent years, with the aim of fostering cultural understanding and strengthening global connections.
This sentence correctly uses the present perfect tense to describe an ongoing trend, which is appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay