Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Comparison/Contrast Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you think mass media has more of a positive impact on society by keeping people informed and connected, or a negative impact by spreading misinformation and reducing face-to-face social interaction? Discuss both viewpoints and share your perspective.
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion. These venues not only provide a platform for various forms of entertainment but also contribute to the economic and social fabric of a community in several ways.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise. This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs. For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration. The construction of a new stadium or theater can lead to the revitalization of a neglected area, attracting investment and leading to the development of new infrastructure, such as roads, public transport links, and commercial and residential properties. This can lead to increased property values and improved quality of life for local residents.
Submitted on March 19, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Overall Evaluation
5 Bands
Your essay is well-structured and presents clear arguments on the benefits of entertainment venues to local economies and communities. However, it does not address the given question regarding the impact of mass media on society. To improve, ensure that your essay directly responds to the question asked, discussing both the positive and negative impacts of mass media and providing your perspective. Focus on developing relevant examples and arguments related to mass media. Additionally, work on linking your ideas more closely to the question to achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5
Coherence & Cohesion
4 Bands
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs focusing on different aspects of entertainment venues. However, it lacks coherence in relation to the essay question about mass media's impact on society. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, but the overall relevance to the question is missing. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly contributes to addressing the essay question, and use linking words to connect ideas related to the impacts of mass media.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, particularly in how you outline the benefits of entertainment venues to local economies and communities. However, it does not directly address the essay question about the impact of mass media on society. Band: 5.0
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively introduces a key point about the economic benefits of entertainment venues, showing a clear progression of ideas.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay does not directly address the essay question about the impact of mass media on society.
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media plays a significant role in society by keeping people informed and connected; however, it also has the potential to spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction.
Mass media plays a significant role in society by keeping people informed and connected; however, it also has the potential to spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction.
Refocus your essay to directly address the question posed about mass media's impact on society.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression in future essays, make sure to directly address the essay question in your introduction and develop your argument in a way that clearly relates to the topic.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the content does not align with the given question. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
The entire essay content does not align with the given question about mass media.
Corrected Sentence:
To discuss the impact of mass media on society, one paragraph could focus on the positive aspects, such as keeping people informed, while another could address the negatives, including the spread of misinformation.
To discuss the impact of mass media on society, one paragraph could focus on the positive aspects, such as keeping people informed, while another could address the negatives, including the spread of misinformation.
Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to answering the essay question.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs that directly address different aspects of the essay question. Begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the paragraph's main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that ties back to the essay's overall argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay makes limited use of cohesive devices, likely due to the misalignment with the essay question. Band: 4.0
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating linking words and phrases that help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Examples include 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'as a result,' and 'therefore.' This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your argument more coherent.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences are generally clear and introduce the main ideas effectively. However, they do not directly address the essay question about the impact of mass media on society.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively introduces the economic benefits of entertainment venues, providing a clear topic for the paragraph.
Secondly, entertainment venues often serve as catalysts for urban regeneration.
It clearly introduces the idea of urban regeneration, setting up the paragraph's focus effectively.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay does not contain a direct topic sentence addressing the impact of mass media on society.
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media plays a crucial role in keeping society informed and connected, yet it also has the potential to spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction.
Mass media plays a crucial role in keeping society informed and connected, yet it also has the potential to spread misinformation and reduce face-to-face social interaction.
Consider adding topic sentences that directly relate to the positive and negative impacts of mass media on society.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, directly address the essay question and ensure each paragraph's main idea is relevant to the overall argument. Start with a general statement about the topic and then narrow it down to your specific point.
Counter Points
You did not address contrasting viewpoints regarding the impact of mass media on society. Your essay focuses on entertainment venues, which does not directly relate to the question.
Bad Sentence(s)
The essay lacks sentences that address counterpoints regarding the impact of mass media.
Corrected Sentence:
While mass media keeps us informed and connected, it is also criticized for spreading misinformation and diminishing the quality of face-to-face interactions.
While mass media keeps us informed and connected, it is also criticized for spreading misinformation and diminishing the quality of face-to-face interactions.
Incorporate sentences that discuss both the positive and negative impacts of mass media, providing a balanced view.
Suggestions
To effectively address and integrate counterarguments, acknowledge the opposing viewpoint and provide evidence or reasoning to support your perspective. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
Task Achievement
2 Bands
Your essay did not address the task of discussing the mass media's impact on society. It is essential to stay on topic and directly answer the question asked. Consider refocusing your essay to discuss the positive and negative aspects of mass media as required.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
Your essay did not directly address the question about the impact of mass media on society. Instead, it focused on the role of entertainment venues in local economies and communities.
Bad Example(s)
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums play a significant role in boosting local economies and fostering community cohesion.
This sentence, while informative about entertainment venues, does not relate to the question about mass media's impact on society.
Development of Position
Your argument regarding the benefits of entertainment venues is clear but off-topic. It does not develop a position on the mass media's impact on society.
Bad Example(s)
These venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence shows development on an unrelated topic rather than the mass media's societal impact.
Supporting Details
The examples and details provided are relevant to entertainment venues' impact on local economies and communities but do not support any argument about mass media.
Bad Example(s)
For instance, a popular concert or sports event can attract thousands of visitors, who will spend money on accommodation, food, and other services in the local area.
This detail is off-topic and does not support any discussion about the mass media.
Conclusion
Your essay lacks a conclusion addressing the mass media's impact on society, focusing instead on entertainment venues.
Bad Example(s)
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of entertainment venues and their impact on local economies and communities. However, it seems that the essay does not directly address the question about the impact of mass media on society. This misalignment might affect the evaluation of lexical resources as it's crucial to use vocabulary pertinent to the question asked.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
venues 5 times | facilities, establishments, locations, sites |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Catalysts for urban regeneration Agents or activities that stimulate or speed up urban renewal and development | Agents or activities that stimulate or speed up urban renewal and development |
| Community cohesion The bond or glue that holds a community together, encompassing mutual respect and tolerance among diverse groups | The bond or glue that holds a community together, encompassing mutual respect and tolerance among diverse groups |
| Economic fabric The complex structure of economic activities, institutions, and relationships within a community | The complex structure of economic activities, institutions, and relationships within a community |
| Urban revitalization The process of improving and renewing urban areas to encourage economic development and improve residents' quality of life | The process of improving and renewing urban areas to encourage economic development and improve residents' quality of life |
Out of Context
Entertainment venues like theaters and stadiums
Corrected Sentence:
Mass media platforms like television, social media, and newspapers
Mass media platforms like television, social media, and newspapers
Essay topic on mass media's impact on society
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with no significant errors detected. Your sentences are well-constructed, and you've managed to use a variety of structures to make your essay engaging. However, ensure that every part of your essay directly addresses the question asked. While your essay is well-written, it seems to diverge from the specific topic about the impact of mass media on society.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex sentences effectively. This variety helps maintain the reader's interest and clearly conveys your points.
Good example(s)
Firstly, these venues stimulate the local economy by generating revenue through ticket sales, concessions, and merchandise.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to introduce a point, followed by specific examples that support the main idea.
Tense Usage
The use of tenses in your essay is consistent and appropriate throughout. You have successfully maintained the same tense, which helps in delivering a coherent narrative.
Good example(s)
This income not only supports the venue's operation but also flows into the local economy, supporting local businesses and creating jobs.
This example illustrates your ability to use the present tense consistently to describe ongoing or general actions.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay