Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Comparison/Contrast Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some individuals believe that following a vegetarian diet is healthier for the environment and the individual, while others argue that meat is essential for a balanced diet. Discuss the merits of both viewpoints and state which one you support.
In today's world, many people have started a vegetarian diet as they believe it has several health benefits and eco-friendly too, whereas alot of individuals stick to a meat-based diet believing it is a must for a balanced diet. Both the diets have their own merits and demerits. However, in my opinion, the former is always a better option than the latter owing to several reasons.
Firstly, in our part of the world, our food is often determined by our religion. If our religion does not allow us to eat a particular item then we tend to avoid that. Animal meat is often restricted in our diets because of our religious conviction. Secondly, the anatomy of our body is more suited for plant-based diet. Our digestive system has resemblance with herbivores than carnivores. Thirdly, we have more options. There are lots of vegatables and fruits that we can eat and still get all the nutrients required for the body which many people argue that a vegetarian diet does not provide. Furthermore, many athletes and influential figures have started changing their food culture as they believe a veg diet can help them improve their performance. For example, Virat Kohli is now a vegetarian and has greatly vouched on the health benefits of this kind of diet in many interviews.
In contrast, a non-veg diet encourages people to kill animals for food which is inhumane. Killing an animal for food is not what we humans are supposed to do. Eventhough, people support a meat-based diet for it is essential to provide us nutrients that veg-diet does not; I believe, there are numerous vegetables and fruits that can adequately fulfill our nutrient requirement. I completely disagree with this notion. Besides, people would also argue that it is easily available, tasty, cheap, and can be presented in a wide variety. In present world, a lot of ailments are a consequence of this. Obesity, diabetes, blood pressure, etc. are some of them. So, changing the food habits for own benefit is a sign of a smart individual.
In a nutshell, both the diets have their own merits and demerits. In my perspective, the benefits of vegetarian diet outweighs the benefits of non-veg diet. The former has greater health benefits, suitable for the ecosystem, and a plethora of options, whereas the latter has health disbenefits in the longer run albeit people argue about health benefits, availability, and taste of it.
Firstly, in our part of the world, our food is often determined by our religion. If our religion does not allow us to eat a particular item then we tend to avoid that. Animal meat is often restricted in our diets because of our religious conviction. Secondly, the anatomy of our body is more suited for plant-based diet. Our digestive system has resemblance with herbivores than carnivores. Thirdly, we have more options. There are lots of vegatables and fruits that we can eat and still get all the nutrients required for the body which many people argue that a vegetarian diet does not provide. Furthermore, many athletes and influential figures have started changing their food culture as they believe a veg diet can help them improve their performance. For example, Virat Kohli is now a vegetarian and has greatly vouched on the health benefits of this kind of diet in many interviews.
In contrast, a non-veg diet encourages people to kill animals for food which is inhumane. Killing an animal for food is not what we humans are supposed to do. Eventhough, people support a meat-based diet for it is essential to provide us nutrients that veg-diet does not; I believe, there are numerous vegetables and fruits that can adequately fulfill our nutrient requirement. I completely disagree with this notion. Besides, people would also argue that it is easily available, tasty, cheap, and can be presented in a wide variety. In present world, a lot of ailments are a consequence of this. Obesity, diabetes, blood pressure, etc. are some of them. So, changing the food habits for own benefit is a sign of a smart individual.
In a nutshell, both the diets have their own merits and demerits. In my perspective, the benefits of vegetarian diet outweighs the benefits of non-veg diet. The former has greater health benefits, suitable for the ecosystem, and a plethora of options, whereas the latter has health disbenefits in the longer run albeit people argue about health benefits, availability, and taste of it.
Submitted on August 8, 2024 at 4:37 PM
Overall Evaluation
7 Bands
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints on vegetarian and meat-based diets, providing a clear stance in support of vegetarianism. You've structured your argument logically, beginning with an introduction of the topic, followed by the merits of a vegetarian diet, the counterargument for a meat-based diet, and concluding with a summary of your perspective. Your use of examples, such as Virat Kohli, strengthens your argument. However, to enhance your essay further, consider incorporating more diverse sources of evidence, such as scientific studies or statistics, to support your claims. Additionally, pay attention to minor spelling and grammar errors ('alot' should be 'a lot', 'vegatables' should be 'vegetables') as these can impact the clarity of your message. Improving coherence through smoother transitions between paragraphs could also strengthen your essay. Overall, your essay is well-argued and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
Your essay maintains a good level of coherence and cohesion, with clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. However, there are opportunities to enhance coherence by more explicitly linking your arguments back to the thesis throughout the essay. For instance, when discussing the health benefits of a vegetarian diet, directly contrasting these with the health risks associated with meat consumption could strengthen your argument. Additionally, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims would improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure and logical flow of ideas, effectively discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own viewpoint. The transition from discussing the merits of a vegetarian diet to the drawbacks of a meat-based diet is smooth, aiding in the overall coherence of the essay. Overall, the logical organization is strong. Your score here would be around 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Both the diets have their own merits and demerits.
This sentence effectively sets up the structure of your essay by indicating that you will examine both sides of the argument.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider introducing a brief outline of your main points in the introduction. This will prepare the reader for the structure of your argument and make your essay even more coherent.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all distinct, making your essay easy to follow. Your score for paragraphing would be around 7.5.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, in our part of the world, our food is often determined by our religion.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph topic, guiding the reader through your argument in a logical manner.
Suggestions
For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay question. Additionally, try to link each paragraph's main point back to your thesis statement to reinforce your argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices effectively links ideas and paragraphs, contributing to the overall flow of the essay. However, there's room for improvement in varying your cohesive devices to avoid repetition and enhance readability. Your score here would be around 7.0.
Good Sentence(s)
Furthermore, many athletes and influential figures have started changing their food culture as they believe a veg diet can help them improve their performance.
The use of 'Furthermore' effectively adds another layer to your argument, showing progression in your reasoning.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider variety of expressions to signal contrast, addition, cause and effect, etc. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow. Studying a list of cohesive devices and practicing their use in different contexts can be very helpful.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences generally set up the discussion well, indicating the direction of the argument in each paragraph.
Good Sentence(s)
Firstly, in our part of the world, our food is often determined by our religion.
This sentence effectively introduces the argument about dietary choices being influenced by religion, which is a unique angle.
In contrast, a non-veg diet encourages people to kill animals for food which is inhumane.
This sentence clearly sets up a contrasting viewpoint, indicating a shift in the essay's direction towards discussing the ethics of meat consumption.
Bad Sentence(s)
Both the diets have their own merits and demerits.
Corrected Sentence:
While vegetarian diets are praised for their health and environmental benefits, meat-based diets are often valued for their nutrient completeness and taste.
While vegetarian diets are praised for their health and environmental benefits, meat-based diets are often valued for their nutrient completeness and taste.
Specify the merits and demerits briefly to provide a clearer direction for the paragraph.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the main idea of the paragraph. Follow this by briefly indicating how you will support or discuss this idea. Avoid vague statements and ensure each topic sentence directly relates to your thesis.
Counter Points
You have addressed contrasting viewpoints, but the integration of these counterpoints could be improved for a more balanced discussion.
Bad Sentence(s)
Killing an animal for food is not what we humans are supposed to do.
Corrected Sentence:
Many argue that with the availability of diverse plant-based nutrients, the necessity for killing animals for food becomes less justifiable.
Many argue that with the availability of diverse plant-based nutrients, the necessity for killing animals for food becomes less justifiable.
Provide evidence or a broader range of perspectives to strengthen the argument against meat consumption, rather than relying on a moral assertion.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing viewpoints before presenting evidence or reasoning to counter these points. This approach not only shows a balanced understanding of the issue but also strengthens your position by directly engaging with and refuting counterarguments.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you've done a commendable job in addressing the task. Your essay presents a clear, coherent argument in favor of a vegetarian diet, supported by relevant examples and a logical structure. To further improve, consider incorporating more diverse sources of evidence, such as scientific studies or statistics, to back up your claims. Additionally, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and ensure variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You did well in addressing the question by discussing both viewpoints and stating your own position clearly. Your essay effectively covers the merits and demerits of both diets, aligning with the task requirements.
Good example(s)
Firstly, in our part of the world, our food is often determined by our religion.
This sentence introduces a unique perspective on dietary choices, adding depth to your argument.
Furthermore, many athletes and influential figures have started changing their food culture as they believe a veg diet can help them improve their performance.
This example effectively supports the argument by showing real-life applications and endorsements of a vegetarian diet.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear and well-developed. You've made a strong case for the vegetarian diet while acknowledging the opposing viewpoint, which strengthens your position.
Good example(s)
Secondly, the anatomy of our body is more suited for plant-based diet.
This sentence contributes to developing your position by providing a scientific rationale for your preference.
Supporting Details
Your examples and supporting details are relevant and strengthen your argument. However, including more specific studies or data could further enhance your argument's credibility.
Good example(s)
For example, Virat Kohli is now a vegetarian and has greatly vouched on the health benefits of this kind of diet in many interviews.
This is a strong, specific example that adds credibility to your argument by illustrating a successful case of a vegetarian diet.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reiterates your stance. It could be strengthened by a more powerful closing statement that emphasizes the global importance of your position.
Good example(s)
In a nutshell, both the diets have their own merits and demerits.
This sentence effectively begins the conclusion by summarizing the essay's main points.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, effectively conveying your arguments for a vegetarian diet over a meat-based diet. However, there are areas where lexical precision could be improved to enhance clarity and persuasiveness. Paying attention to the accurate use of words and phrases will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| alot | a lot | 'Alot' is not a word. The correct form is 'a lot', which means 'many' or 'much'. |
| vegatables | vegetables | Spelling error. The correct spelling is 'vegetables'. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
diet 15 times | nutrition plan, eating habits, nutritional regime |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Eco-friendly Not harmful to the environment. | Not harmful to the environment. |
| Sustainable Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting resources. | Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting resources. |
| Nutrient-dense Containing a high amount of nutrients relative to the number of calories. | Containing a high amount of nutrients relative to the number of calories. |
| Ethical eating Making food choices that are morally good, considering factors like animal welfare and environmental impact. | Making food choices that are morally good, considering factors like animal welfare and environmental impact. |
| Plant-based A diet consisting mostly or entirely of foods derived from plants. | A diet consisting mostly or entirely of foods derived from plants. |
Out of Context
anatomy of our body is more suited for plant-based diet
Corrected Sentence:
our digestive system is more suited to a plant-based diet
our digestive system is more suited to a plant-based diet
Discussing the suitability of human anatomy for different diets.
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is quite strong, with only minor errors related to spelling, word choice, and spacing. Correcting these will enhance the professionalism and readability of your essay. Your sentence structure is varied and complex, which is excellent for engaging the reader. However, pay attention to the formal tone and consistency in terminology (e.g., using 'vegetarian diet' instead of 'veg diet').
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences show a good range of complexity and variety, effectively contributing to the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
Good example(s)
Furthermore, many athletes and influential figures have started changing their food culture as they believe a veg diet can help them improve their performance.
This sentence effectively combines a complex idea with a clear, concise structure, illustrating your point with a relevant example.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, maintaining a clear narrative flow throughout the essay.
Good example(s)
In today's world, many people have started a vegetarian diet as they believe it has several health benefits and eco-friendly too.
This sentence correctly uses the present perfect tense to describe an ongoing trend, which is appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Errors
alot of individuals
Correction:
a lot of individuals
a lot of individuals
'A lot' should always be two words when meaning 'many'.
vegatables
Correction:
vegetables
vegetables
Spelling mistake.
veg diet
Correction:
vegetarian diet
vegetarian diet
Use the full term 'vegetarian diet' for clarity and formality.
Eventhough
Correction:
Even though
Even though
'Even though' should be two words when used as a conjunction.
disbenefits
Correction:
disadvantages
disadvantages
'Disbenefits' is less common and may be considered incorrect; 'disadvantages' is the appropriate term.