Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Two-part Question Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Discuss the relationship between agriculture and water pollution, and propose ways to promote sustainable farming practices that minimize water contamination.
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause. In this essay, I will talk about how farming activities leads to water contamination and what can we do to more sustainable farming.
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution. This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants. Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use. Another problem is animal waste from farms end up in water bodies, which makes the water dirty.
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things. They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones. This is better for the water because natural products don't have harmful chemicals. Also, farmers need to manage waste properly. They should make sure that animal wastes does not go into the water. Another good idea is to plant trees and plants near rivers and lakes. This can help stop the chemicals from going into the water. Also, using water carefully and having good irigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce. If farmers use natural products, plant trees near water and use water wisely, it help a lot. It's important for everyone to work together to keep our water clean.
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution. This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants. Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use. Another problem is animal waste from farms end up in water bodies, which makes the water dirty.
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things. They should use netural fertilizer instead of chemical ones. This is better for the water because natural products don't have harmful chemicals. Also, farmers need to manage waste properly. They should make sure that animal wastes does not go into the water. Another good idea is to plant trees and plants near rivers and lakes. This can help stop the chemicals from going into the water. Also, using water carefully and having good irigation systems can reduce water pollution because less dirty water will go into rivers and lakes.
In conclusion, water pollution from agriculture is serious issue, but it can reduce. If farmers use natural products, plant trees near water and use water wisely, it help a lot. It's important for everyone to work together to keep our water clean.
Submitted on January 3, 2024 at 10:12 AM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and proposes viable solutions for sustainable farming practices. However, there are areas for improvement. Firstly, enhancing the clarity and structure of your essay could make your arguments more compelling. Consider introducing your main points more distinctly in the introduction and providing clearer transitions between paragraphs. Secondly, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and the correct use of terms ('netural' should be 'natural', 'irigation' should be 'irrigation'). Lastly, expanding on how these solutions can be implemented and possibly discussing the role of technology in sustainable farming could provide a more comprehensive view. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, but refining these aspects could make your argumentation stronger.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
6 Bands
Your essay maintains a logical flow, moving from the problem to solutions. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and you could further improve coherence by more explicitly linking your solutions back to how they address specific aspects of water pollution. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea would strengthen your argument's cohesion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the flow of ideas could be improved for better coherence.
Good Sentence(s)
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things.
This sentence effectively transitions to solutions, showing good organization.
Bad Sentence(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
Corrected Sentence:
Water pollution represents a significant environmental issue, with agriculture being one of its primary causes.
Water pollution represents a significant environmental issue, with agriculture being one of its primary causes.
Clarify and expand your introduction for a smoother entry into the topic.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, try to clearly state your main points in the introduction and then expand on each point in its own paragraph. Use transition words to link your ideas.
Paragraphing
The paragraphs in your essay are clear and mostly well-structured, but some could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more detailed supporting information.
Bad Sentence(s)
Firstly, using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
Corrected Sentence:
One of the primary contributors to water pollution is the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides in agriculture.
One of the primary contributors to water pollution is the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides in agriculture.
Start with a stronger topic sentence that clearly states the paragraph's main idea.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs that start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that topic. End with a concluding sentence that wraps up the paragraph's main point.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. You've attempted to connect ideas, but the transitions between points can be made smoother.
Bad Sentence(s)
Also, this polluted water is not good for people for use.
Corrected Sentence:
Furthermore, this contamination renders the water unsuitable for human consumption.
Furthermore, this contamination renders the water unsuitable for human consumption.
Use a more varied range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of transition words and phrases that not only add information ('furthermore', 'in addition') but also show cause and effect ('therefore', 'as a result'), comparison ('similarly', 'likewise'), and contrast ('however', 'on the other hand').
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear overview of what each paragraph will discuss, but they could be more specific to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Good Sentence(s)
To solve these problems, farmers can do a few things.
This sentence effectively transitions to discussing solutions for water pollution caused by agriculture.
Bad Sentence(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
Corrected Sentence:
Agriculture significantly contributes to water pollution through the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides.
Agriculture significantly contributes to water pollution through the use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides.
Make the sentence more specific and directly related to the relationship between agriculture and water pollution.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main idea. Use active voice and specific details rather than general statements.
Counter Points
Your essay does not explicitly address contrasting viewpoints or counterarguments, focusing instead on outlining the problem and proposing solutions.
Suggestions
To integrate counterarguments effectively, acknowledge potential criticisms of your proposed solutions and address them directly. This could involve discussing the feasibility of natural fertilizers or the challenges of changing farming practices.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
You have a basic understanding of the task and have made an attempt to answer the question. However, to improve, focus on providing more specific examples, deeper analysis, and a wider range of solutions. Also, work on strengthening your argument's development and the persuasive power of your conclusion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question by discussing the relationship between agriculture and water pollution and proposing solutions for sustainable farming. However, the depth of analysis and range of solutions could be expanded.
Good example(s)
using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
This sentence clearly identifies a major cause of water pollution related to agriculture.
Bad Example(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
This opening sentence is too general and lacks specificity about the relationship between agriculture and water pollution.
Development of Position
Your argument is understandable but lacks depth. While you propose solutions, there's a need for more detailed explanation on how these solutions can be effectively implemented.
Good example(s)
farmers can do a few things.
This introduces the solutions section well, indicating a shift from problem to solution.
Bad Example(s)
it help a lot.
This conclusion to your argument is vague and lacks persuasive power.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but need more detail and evidence to strengthen your argument. Consider adding statistics, studies, or specific case studies.
Good example(s)
This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants.
This detail effectively illustrates how chemicals contribute to water pollution.
Bad Example(s)
This is better for the water because natural products don't have harmful chemicals.
This statement is too broad and lacks scientific evidence or explanation.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay but lacks a strong final statement that reinforces the importance of the issue and the effectiveness of the proposed solutions.
Bad Example(s)
If farmers use natural products, plant trees near water and use water wisely, it help a lot.
This sentence is too simplistic and does not effectively encapsulate the essay's arguments or propose a compelling call to action.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding and use of lexical resources relevant to the topic of agriculture and water pollution. However, there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision in word choice to enhance clarity and impact. Paying attention to the accurate use of terms and exploring synonyms could enrich your essay further.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| netural fertilizer | natural fertilizer | Typographical error. |
| irigation systems | irrigation systems | Spelling mistake. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
water 15 times | aquatic resources, bodies of water, freshwater sources |
farmers 4 times | agriculturists, cultivators, agriculturalists |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sustainable agriculture Farming practices that maintain and preserve the environment, allowing for the production of food without compromising future generations' ability to do the same. | Farming practices that maintain and preserve the environment, allowing for the production of food without compromising future generations' ability to do the same. |
| ecosystem A biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment. | A biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment. |
| contaminants Substances that make something impure or unsuitable by contact or mixture. | Substances that make something impure or unsuitable by contact or mixture. |
| biodegradable Capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms. | Capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms. |
| effluent Liquid waste or sewage discharged into a river or the sea. | Liquid waste or sewage discharged into a river or the sea. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammar, but there are several areas for improvement. The use of articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement needs particular attention. Enhancing sentence complexity and variety could also significantly improve the readability and persuasiveness of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lacked variety and complexity. Most of them were simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentence structures that could enhance the depth and clarity of your arguments.
Bad Example(s)
Water pollution is a big problem and agriculture is one of main cause.
This sentence is too simplistic and could be made more complex to provide a clearer introduction to the topic.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses was mostly consistent and correct, maintaining a present tense to discuss current issues and solutions.
Grammatical Errors
using chemical fertilizers and pesticide in farms is major reason in water pollution.
Correction:
Using chemical fertilizers and pesticides on farms is a major reason for water pollution.
Using chemical fertilizers and pesticides on farms is a major reason for water pollution.
Lack of article before 'major reason' and incorrect preposition usage.
This chemicals gets washed away to river and lakes when it rains, which is harmful for the water animals and plants.
Correction:
These chemicals get washed away into rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
These chemicals get washed away into rivers and lakes when it rains, which is harmful to aquatic animals and plants.
Incorrect subject-verb agreement, wrong preposition, and clarity in referring to 'water animals'.
it help a lot.
Correction:
it helps a lot.
it helps a lot.
Subject-verb agreement error.