Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission

Essay Evaluation

Question: Some people argue that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat, while others believe that including meat and animal products in your diet is essential for good health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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We already know that food is an essential part of our lives. Many people think that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat however, I believe that food which includes meat and animal products are good for our well-beings.
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are good for our body and health. They think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health. In this modern era, many non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken have been hybridized which cause many diseases towards human health that's the reason many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods. For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance. Futhermore eating these products are better way to gain weight those who desire to get a perfect body shape, also some people think that it is important to consume meats and animal product for everyday activities. For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and proteins compared to vegan products.
Submitted on June 24, 2024 at 9:33 AM
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Overall Evaluation

5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the diet debate and providing your own opinion, which is good. However, there are several areas that could be improved for a higher IELTS score. Firstly, your introduction could be more engaging by directly addressing the question and clearly outlining the views you will discuss. Your arguments for both sides are relevant but need more detailed examples and evidence to be more persuasive. Additionally, your essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings ('food which includes meat and animal products are good for our well-beings' could be rephrased for clarity, and 'futhermore' should be spelled 'furthermore'). The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint but could be stronger by summarizing the main arguments for both sides before stating your opinion. Work on coherence and cohesion by linking ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking words. Pay attention to accuracy and range in your grammar and vocabulary to improve your band score. Overall, your essay has a clear structure and addresses the task, but refining your arguments, improving language accuracy, and providing more detailed examples will enhance your score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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Coherence & Cohesion

5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Overall, your organization is satisfactory but lacks depth in argumentation and variety in sentence structures. Band: 6.0

Good Sentence(s)

For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively provides specific examples to support the argument, making the claim more tangible and understandable.

Bad Sentence(s)

I believe that food which includes meat and animal products are good for our well-beings.
Corrected Sentence:
I maintain that a diet including meat and animal products is essential for optimal health, as it provides necessary nutrients not easily obtained from a vegan diet.
Clarify and expand your thesis statement to directly address the essay question and provide a roadmap for your argument.

Suggestions

To enhance logical progression, start by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction. Each body paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Conclude each argument before moving to the next to avoid confusion.

Paragraphing

Your paragraphs are structured around central ideas, which is good. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more focused development of ideas. Band: 6.0

Bad Sentence(s)

On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
Corrected Sentence:
On the other hand, I firmly believe that consuming non-vegetarian items and dairy products benefits human health, primarily because they provide essential proteins and calories that enhance bodily performance.
Break down complex ideas into more manageable parts and ensure clarity in your argumentation.

Suggestions

Improve paragraph focus by starting with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph’s main idea. Develop this idea with specific examples and explanations. Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea to avoid confusion. Use transition words to smoothly link paragraphs and reinforce the logical flow of your essay.

Cohesive Devices

You have used some cohesive devices, but their use is somewhat basic and repetitive. There's room for improvement in using a wider range of devices to enhance the flow of your essay. Band: 5.5

Bad Sentence(s)

In this modern era, many non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken have been hybridized which cause many diseases towards human health that's the reason many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods.
Corrected Sentence:
In this modern era, many non-vegetarian items, including eggs, meat, and chicken, have undergone hybridization, potentially leading to health issues. Consequently, this has prompted many individuals to opt for a vegetarian diet.
Use a more varied range of cohesive devices and clarify the connection between ideas.

Suggestions

To improve your use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a variety of transition words and phrases that not only show the sequence of ideas but also the relationship between them (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'as a result'). Practice using synonyms and parallel structures to avoid repetition and enhance readability.

Topic Sentences

Your topic sentences provide a clear indication of the direction of each paragraph, effectively setting up the discussion on both views of the diet debate. However, they could be strengthened by directly addressing the reasons behind each viewpoint.

Good Sentence(s)

To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are good for our body and health.
This sentence effectively introduces the discussion on the benefits of vegetarian diets, setting a clear topic for the paragraph.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health because it contains amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
This sentence clearly indicates a shift to the opposing viewpoint, providing a smooth transition and introducing your personal stance effectively.

Suggestions

To write clearer and more impactful topic sentences, start by stating the viewpoint directly and briefly mention the main reason supporting that viewpoint. This approach will make your argument more straightforward and easier for the reader to follow.

Counter Points

You have attempted to address contrasting viewpoints in your essay, which is commendable. However, the discussion sometimes lacks depth and fails to fully explore the counterarguments.

Bad Sentence(s)

They think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
Corrected Sentence:
Opponents of non-vegetarian diets argue that such foods can have a detrimental effect on health due to their high fat content, which may lead to heart disease and other health issues.
Clarify and expand on the counterpoint by providing specific examples or evidence to support the claim.

Suggestions

To more effectively address and integrate counterarguments, consider presenting a specific counterpoint immediately followed by evidence or an example that refutes it or adds complexity to the discussion. This not only shows that you have considered the other side but also strengthens your own argument.

Task Achievement

5 Bands
Overall, you have made an attempt to address the task, but there is significant room for improvement in terms of clarity, argument development, and the use of supporting evidence. Focusing on these areas will help enhance the coherence and persuasiveness of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question

You addressed the question by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, your argument could be strengthened by presenting more balanced insights and a clearer rationale for your stance.

Good example(s)

For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively illustrates the benefits of a vegetarian diet with specific examples.

Bad Example(s)

In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and proteins compared to vegan products.
This sentence is confusing and contains grammatical errors, weakening your conclusion.

Development of Position

Your position is clear, but the development of your argument lacks depth and balance. Providing more evidence and exploring counterarguments could strengthen your position.

Good example(s)

I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
This sentence clearly states your position and provides a reason for it.

Bad Example(s)

They think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
This sentence attempts to present a counterargument but lacks clarity and specificity.

Supporting Details

Your examples are relevant but could be more persuasive with additional details and sources. Consider incorporating statistics or findings from reputable studies to substantiate your claims.

Bad Example(s)

For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
This detail lacks credibility without specifying the report, making your argument less convincing.

Conclusion

Your conclusion restates your opinion but misses the opportunity to compellingly summarize the discussion or highlight the significance of your argument.

Bad Example(s)

In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and proteins compared to vegan products.
The conclusion is repetitive and contains grammatical errors, detracting from the overall effectiveness of your argument.

Lexical Resources

5.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic, though it could benefit from greater variety and accuracy to enhance clarity and coherence. Some words and phrases are used repetitively or inaccurately, affecting the overall lexical resource score. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and paying attention to word choice could improve your essay significantly.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements

Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.

Lexical Mistakes

MistakeCorrectionReason
non vegetarian non-vegetarianHyphenation is needed for clarity and correct compound adjective formation.
beacuse becauseSpelling error.
futhermore furthermoreSpelling error.
conclution conclusionSpelling error.
may good may be goodGrammatical accuracy; missing verb for correct structure.

Repeated Words

Repeated WordsAlternative Words
health 9 times
well-being, fitness, physical condition
products 5 times
items, goods, commodities

Vocabulary Suggestions

Word Phrase
sustain Strengthen or support physically or mentally.
nutrient-rich Containing a lot of substances that provide nourishment essential for the growth and maintenance of life.
hybridized Crossbred; in the context of food, it could refer to genetically modified or crossbred varieties of plants or animals.
detrimental Tending to cause harm.
optimal Best or most favorable.

Grammatical Range

5.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb agreement, article use, and spelling mistakes. Paying closer attention to these areas could significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Additionally, consider revising sentence structures for greater variety and complexity to enhance the overall readability of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures

Your sentences showed some variety but lacked complexity. Incorporating more complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, could enhance your writing.

Good example(s)

For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively uses a list and a relative clause, showing an attempt at complexity.

Bad Example(s)

In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and proteins compared to vegan products.
This sentence is run-on with multiple ideas that could be more effectively communicated in separate sentences or with the use of commas and conjunctions.

Tense Usage

Your use of tenses was generally consistent, focusing on the present simple to discuss general truths and beliefs, which is appropriate for this essay type.

Grammatical Errors

Many people think that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat however,
Correction:
Many people think that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat; however,
A semicolon or a period should be used before 'however' when it is used to join two independent clauses.
food which includes meat and animal products are good
Correction:
food which includes meat and animal products is good
The subject 'food' is singular, so the verb should also be singular ('is' instead of 'are').
non vegetarian food has detrimental effect
Correction:
non-vegetarian food has a detrimental effect
There should be a hyphen in 'non-vegetarian,' and 'a' is needed before 'detrimental effect' to make it grammatically correct.
In conclution
Correction:
In conclusion
Spelling mistake: 'conclution' should be 'conclusion'.
vegetarian diet may good for our health
Correction:
vegetarian diet may be good for our health
The verb 'be' is missing, making the sentence grammatically incorrect.
futhermore
Correction:
furthermore
Spelling mistake: 'futhermore' should be 'furthermore'.