Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat, while others believe that including meat and animal products in your diet is essential for good health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live. Many people think that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat however, I believe that food which includes meat and animal products are good for our health.
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health. In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods. For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance. Futhermore eating these products are better way to gain weight those who desire to get a perfect body shape, also some people think that it is important to consume meats and animal product for everyday activities. For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health. In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods. For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance. Futhermore eating these products are better way to gain weight those who desire to get a perfect body shape, also some people think that it is important to consume meats and animal product for everyday activities. For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
Submitted on June 24, 2024 at 9:19 AM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both views on vegetarian/vegan versus meat-inclusive diets and providing your own opinion. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your introduction could be stronger by directly addressing the question and clearly outlining the views you will discuss. Your argumentation would benefit from more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. Additionally, your essay has numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder clarity ('food for our body and health', 'non vegetarian food has detrimental effect', 'has become hybrid type'). It's also important to ensure accuracy in your claims ('75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products' lacks clarity and source). Work on paragraph structure to ensure each has a clear main idea and logical flow. Your conclusion summarizes your stance but could be more impactful by succinctly restating the main arguments from both sides before reinforcing your viewpoint. Improving your coherence and cohesion, along with careful proofreading for language accuracy, will enhance your essay's effectiveness. Overall, your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but needs refinement in development, organization, and language use to achieve a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay has a basic structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved for better clarity and impact. Overall, your logical organization could be rated at 5.5.
Good Sentence(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively provides specific examples to support the argument, making the claim more tangible and understandable.
Bad Sentence(s)
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
Corrected Sentence:
Food is an essential part of our lives, influencing our health and well-being.
Food is an essential part of our lives, influencing our health and well-being.
Revise to directly address the essay question and improve engagement.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
Corrected Sentence:
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet can be beneficial, I believe that including meat and animal products, which are rich in nutrients and proteins, is the best option for maintaining our health.
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet can be beneficial, I believe that including meat and animal products, which are rich in nutrients and proteins, is the best option for maintaining our health.
Correct spelling errors, improve clarity, and ensure the conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction. Each body paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Conclude by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are structured around central ideas, but some paragraphs could be more focused and coherent. The clarity of paragraphing is rated at 5.0.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our body and health. They believe that non-vegetarian food can have a detrimental effect on health due to its high fat content.
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our body and health. They believe that non-vegetarian food can have a detrimental effect on health due to its high fat content.
Split complex ideas into simpler, clearer sentences and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph focus and coherence by ensuring each paragraph discusses a single main idea. Use a clear topic sentence to introduce the paragraph's main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on this idea. Conclude each paragraph with a sentence that summarizes the main point or transitions smoothly to the next paragraph.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes ineffective, leading to a rating of 5.0. While you attempt to connect ideas, the transitions can be abrupt or unclear.
Bad Sentence(s)
In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods.
Corrected Sentence:
In this modern era, many non-vegetarian items, such as eggs, meat, and chicken, have become hybridized, potentially leading to health issues. This is a key reason why many people opt for a vegetarian diet.
In this modern era, many non-vegetarian items, such as eggs, meat, and chicken, have become hybridized, potentially leading to health issues. This is a key reason why many people opt for a vegetarian diet.
Clarify the connection between ideas and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, focus on using a variety of transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly. Examples include 'furthermore' for adding information, 'however' for contrasting points, and 'for example' for providing illustrations. Also, ensure that pronouns refer clearly to specific nouns previously mentioned to avoid confusion.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear indication of the direction of each paragraph, but they could be enhanced by directly addressing the contrast between the two views more explicitly.
Good Sentence(s)
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health because it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
This sentence effectively introduces your viewpoint and outlines the reasons supporting your belief, making it clear and impactful.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our health, citing concerns over the fats and potential health risks associated with non-vegetarian foods.
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our health, citing concerns over the fats and potential health risks associated with non-vegetarian foods.
Clarify and streamline the sentence for better readability and directness.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start by directly stating the viewpoint you will discuss in the paragraph. Use active voice and ensure the sentence previews the main argument or perspective of the paragraph succinctly.
Counter Points
You have addressed contrasting viewpoints in your essay, but the integration and refutation of these counterpoints could be stronger. Providing more evidence and a clearer explanation of why one view may be more valid than the other would enhance your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods.
Corrected Sentence:
In modern times, concerns have grown that hybrid varieties of non-vegetarian foods, including eggs, meat, and chicken, may contribute to health issues, leading many to prefer a vegetarian diet.
In modern times, concerns have grown that hybrid varieties of non-vegetarian foods, including eggs, meat, and chicken, may contribute to health issues, leading many to prefer a vegetarian diet.
Provide evidence or sources for claims, and ensure the sentence structure is clear.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing views before presenting evidence or reasoning that supports your stance. This not only shows a balanced understanding of the topic but also strengthens your argument by directly engaging with and refuting counterpoints.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
Overall, you have made an attempt to address the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, your essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion, clearer articulation of your stance, and stronger supporting evidence. Paying attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar would also improve the quality of your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. However, your argument could be strengthened with more balanced discussion and clearer articulation of your stance.
Good example(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively illustrates the benefits of a vegetarian diet with specific examples.
Bad Example(s)
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
This opening sentence is vague and does not directly engage with the essay topic.
Development of Position
Your argument leans towards non-vegetarian diets being healthier but lacks a balanced examination of the vegetarian viewpoint. Clarifying and expanding on both views before stating your opinion would make your position stronger.
Good example(s)
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health because it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
This sentence clearly states your position and provides a reason for it.
Bad Example(s)
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
This conclusion is weak because it restates your opinion without effectively summarizing the discussion or the evidence presented.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but could be strengthened with more detailed evidence and a wider range of sources. Including statistics, studies, or expert opinions could enhance your argument.
Bad Example(s)
a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
This detail is vague and lacks citation, making it less credible.
Conclusion
Your conclusion restates your opinion but misses the opportunity to effectively summarize the key points made in the essay. A stronger conclusion would reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Bad Example(s)
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
This conclusion is repetitive and does not add value to your argument.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are areas where lexical precision and variety could be improved. Enhancing your word choice could make your arguments more compelling and improve the overall readability of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| food for our body | good for our body | Typographical error. |
| beacuse | because | Spelling mistake. |
| Futhermore | Furthermore | Spelling mistake. |
| protiens | proteins | Spelling mistake. |
| conclution | conclusion | Spelling mistake. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
health 9 times | well-being, fitness, wellness |
food 5 times | nutrition, diet, sustenance |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| detrimental Tending to cause harm. | Tending to cause harm. |
| sustain Strengthen or support physically or mentally. | Strengthen or support physically or mentally. |
| hybrid A thing made by combining two different elements. | A thing made by combining two different elements. |
| stimulates Encourage or arouse interest or enthusiasm. | Encourage or arouse interest or enthusiasm. |
| nutrients Substances that provide nourishment essential for growth and the maintenance of life. | Substances that provide nourishment essential for growth and the maintenance of life. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay shows a basic grasp of grammar, but there are several areas for improvement. Errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and spelling mistakes detract from the overall quality of your writing. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for typographical errors could significantly enhance your grammatical accuracy.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lacked variety and complexity. Most of them were simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentence structures that could have enhanced the depth and clarity of your arguments.
Good example(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively uses a complex structure to provide an example that supports the argument, showing a good use of clauses to add information.
Bad Example(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
This sentence is overly long and confusing, lacking proper punctuation and clarity in its structure.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses was generally consistent, sticking to the present simple to discuss habitual actions and general truths. However, there were instances where tense usage could have been more varied to reflect different time frames or hypothetical scenarios.
Grammatical Errors
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
Correction:
We already know that food is an essential part of our lives.
We already know that food is an essential part of our lives.
The sentence should use present simple tense ('know') to state a general truth, and 'life' should be plural to match the subject.
vegetarian diets are food for our body and health
Correction:
vegetarian diets are good for our body and health
vegetarian diets are good for our body and health
It seems to be a typographical error; 'good' is the correct word to use in this context.
non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type
Correction:
non-veg items such as eggs, meat, and chicken have become hybrid types
non-veg items such as eggs, meat, and chicken have become hybrid types
Subject-verb agreement error and noun number error. 'Items' is plural, so 'have' is the correct verb form, and 'eggs' should also be plural.
thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods.
Correction:
that's the reason many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods.
that's the reason many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods.
Contraction error ('that's') and spelling mistake ('maintain').
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health
Correction:
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet may be good for our health
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet may be good for our health
Spelling mistake ('conclusion') and missing verb ('be').