Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Submitted on June 27, 2024 at 6:46 AM
Overall Evaluation
2.5 Bands
Your essay submission appears to be a repetition of the question without providing a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, or a conclusion. To improve, you should aim to structure your essay with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and presents your thesis statement. In the body paragraphs, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint with examples and explanations. Finally, conclude with a summary of your discussion and your own opinion if the question asks for it. Remember to use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to demonstrate your language proficiency. As it stands, your essay would not meet the criteria for a high band score due to the lack of original content and structure. Focus on developing your ideas and arguments related to the topic to enhance your score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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2.5
Coherence & Cohesion
2 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay lacks original content and is repetitive, which makes it difficult to evaluate the structure and idea flow effectively. A diverse argument or viewpoint is needed for a proper assessment.
Bad Sentence(s)
Your essay repeats the same sentence throughout without providing any development of ideas or arguments.
Corrected Sentence:
To promote gender equality, some argue for equal male and female representation in all company roles. Others contend that qualifications should be the sole hiring criterion. Each stance has its merits and drawbacks.
To promote gender equality, some argue for equal male and female representation in all company roles. Others contend that qualifications should be the sole hiring criterion. Each stance has its merits and drawbacks.
Introduce varied arguments and examples to support each viewpoint. Ensure each paragraph introduces a new idea or perspective.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by introducing the topic and outlining the viewpoints. Then, discuss each viewpoint in separate paragraphs, followed by a paragraph discussing the advantages and disadvantages. Conclude with your opinion or a summary of the discussion.
Paragraphing
The structure of your essay cannot be evaluated as it repeats the same sentence, indicating a lack of paragraphing and structure.
Bad Sentence(s)
The entire essay consists of repeated sentences without any clear paragraph structure.
Corrected Sentence:
Introduction to the debate on gender equality and hiring practices. Body paragraph on the benefits of equal gender representation. Another on the importance of qualifications over gender. Conclusion summarizing the arguments and stating the importance of balance.
Introduction to the debate on gender equality and hiring practices. Body paragraph on the benefits of equal gender representation. Another on the importance of qualifications over gender. Conclusion summarizing the arguments and stating the importance of balance.
Organize your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
Suggestions
Focus on creating a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay's topic and main arguments. Each body paragraph should explore a single main idea related to the topic, supported by examples or evidence. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes the discussion and presents your viewpoint or a balanced consideration of the arguments.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay does not demonstrate the use of cohesive devices due to the repetition of the same sentence. Cohesive devices are essential for linking ideas and ensuring the essay flows logically.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating linking words and phrases such as 'firstly', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion'. Use these to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, making your essay more coherent and easy to follow.
Topic Sentences
Your essay lacks variety and depth in topic sentences as the same statement is repeated throughout, which does not demonstrate the ability to introduce topics effectively.
Bad Sentence(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
Corrected Sentence:
Promoting gender equality through balanced workplace representation offers societal benefits, yet prioritizing qualifications ensures the most competent candidates are chosen.
Promoting gender equality through balanced workplace representation offers societal benefits, yet prioritizing qualifications ensures the most competent candidates are chosen.
Try to introduce each paragraph with a unique topic sentence that clearly states the advantage or disadvantage being discussed, making sure it directly relates to the viewpoints mentioned.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start each paragraph with a statement that introduces the main idea or perspective you will discuss. Ensure it is specific and directly related to the question at hand.
Counter Points
The essay does not effectively handle contrasting viewpoints due to the repetitive nature of the content. There is no clear distinction or analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Bad Sentence(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
Corrected Sentence:
While a gender-balanced workforce fosters a culture of equality and diversity, hiring based solely on qualifications may lead to the most efficient and effective team compositions.
While a gender-balanced workforce fosters a culture of equality and diversity, hiring based solely on qualifications may lead to the most efficient and effective team compositions.
Separate the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more distinctly and provide specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint.
Suggestions
To better address and integrate counterarguments, clearly distinguish between the viewpoints in separate paragraphs, and use transitional phrases to smoothly navigate from one argument to the next. Incorporate evidence or examples to strengthen your analysis.
Task Achievement
1 Bands
Overall, your essay did not address the task effectively. It lacked a direct response to the question, development of argument, supporting details, and a conclusion. To improve, focus on directly answering the question by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint, developing your argument with clear examples and explanations, and concluding with a summary of your discussion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
Your essay lacks a direct response to the question. You repeated the question without providing any discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint.
Bad Example(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
This sentence is repeated multiple times without any advancement of discussion or argument.
Development of Position
You did not develop a clear argument or position in your essay. There was no progression of ideas or viewpoints discussed.
Bad Example(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
Repeated without providing any personal insight or analysis.
Supporting Details
Your essay did not include examples or supporting details to back up any arguments or discussions.
Conclusion
There was no conclusion provided in your essay. A conclusion is essential to summarize your discussion and present your final thoughts.
Lexical Resources
5 Bands
Your essay lacks the diversity and depth in lexical resources expected for a higher band score. While the repetition of the essay prompt shows consistency in topic adherence, it also highlights a significant issue with redundancy and a lack of originality in expression. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary related to gender equality, employment practices, and qualifications would enhance the quality of your argument and demonstrate a better command of the English language.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
argue 10 times | claim, contend, assert, maintain, state |
companies 10 times | firms, corporations, businesses, enterprises |
equal number 10 times | balanced representation, equal representation, parity |
male and female employees 10 times | men and women in the workforce, gender-diverse staff, male and female staff |
roles 10 times | positions, job functions, duties |
promote gender equality 10 times | foster gender balance, support gender parity, advance gender equity |
hiring 10 times | recruitment, employing, staffing |
qualifications 10 times | credentials, skills, expertise, competencies |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Meritocracy A system in which advancement is based on individual ability or achievement. | A system in which advancement is based on individual ability or achievement. |
| Diversity The inclusion of different types of people (such as people of different races or cultures) in a group or organization. | The inclusion of different types of people (such as people of different races or cultures) in a group or organization. |
| Inclusivity The practice or policy of including people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized. | The practice or policy of including people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized. |
| Gender parity Equal representation of women and men. | Equal representation of women and men. |
| Unconscious bias Social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their own conscious awareness. | Social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their own conscious awareness. |
| Equitable Fair and impartial. | Fair and impartial. |
Grammatical Range
2 Bands
Your grammar within the repeated sentence is correct. However, the repetition of the same sentence throughout the essay does not allow for a comprehensive assessment of your grammatical range and accuracy. For a higher score, demonstrating a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types is essential.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay lacks variety in sentence structures. Each paragraph repeats the same sentence, which does not demonstrate your ability to use varied and complex sentences.
Bad Example(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
This sentence was repeated verbatim throughout the essay, showing no variation or complexity in structure.
Tense Usage
Given the repetitive nature of the essay, it's challenging to evaluate your use of tenses thoroughly. However, the tense in the repeated sentence was consistent and correct.
Good example(s)
Some people argue that companies should have an equal number of male and female employees in all roles to promote gender equality, while others believe hiring should be based solely on qualifications regardless of gender.
This sentence correctly uses the present simple tense to discuss general opinions.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay