Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people believe that governments should invest in advanced waste management technologies to tackle pollution from electronic waste (e-waste). Others think that raising public awareness about responsible disposal is sufficient. Share your thoughts on this matter.
The increasing popularity of electronic gadgets has accelerated the problem of pollution caused by electronic waste. The realization of this dilemma has sparked the debate on how to deal with environmental concerns resulting from e-waste. While some people think that governments should develop efficient e-waste management systems, others argue that spreading public awareness about the issue is enough. This essay will explore both these arguments, and explain why both these steps are important.
First and foremost, increasing pollution is worsening the atmosphere of Earth, a threat as massive as this calls for actions of the same magnitude. For that, governments need to step up because collective efforts are required to mitigate the effects of e-waste pollution issue. According to WHO, the pollution caused by end-of-life electronics is rapidly propagating, putting public health and eco-system at risk. Therefore, states should be responsible, and develop technologies that can be used by public to dispose electronic waste, which in turn can be recycled.
The other opinion about the issue is that raising awareness among the people is sufficient. While individual accountability is just as necessary as collective efforts, it is definitely not enough. This step, without a doubt, is crucial to minimize climatic catastrophes, as nothing that public sectors do will work if the masses are irresponsible and oblivious to the gravity of the situation. Campaigns should be run to educate the people about being responsible in terms of electronic usage, teaching them how to discard the e-waste so it can be repurposed by the state. Hence, the public along with the officials should work together to tackle this problem.
To sum up, the public officials need to take electronic waste pollution seriously and invest in creating waste management technologies for that. Along with that, awareness should be spread in common people, because not half of the world population even knows about this issue, let alone the repercussions. Both funding and educating are stepping stones towards tackling this problem.
First and foremost, increasing pollution is worsening the atmosphere of Earth, a threat as massive as this calls for actions of the same magnitude. For that, governments need to step up because collective efforts are required to mitigate the effects of e-waste pollution issue. According to WHO, the pollution caused by end-of-life electronics is rapidly propagating, putting public health and eco-system at risk. Therefore, states should be responsible, and develop technologies that can be used by public to dispose electronic waste, which in turn can be recycled.
The other opinion about the issue is that raising awareness among the people is sufficient. While individual accountability is just as necessary as collective efforts, it is definitely not enough. This step, without a doubt, is crucial to minimize climatic catastrophes, as nothing that public sectors do will work if the masses are irresponsible and oblivious to the gravity of the situation. Campaigns should be run to educate the people about being responsible in terms of electronic usage, teaching them how to discard the e-waste so it can be repurposed by the state. Hence, the public along with the officials should work together to tackle this problem.
To sum up, the public officials need to take electronic waste pollution seriously and invest in creating waste management technologies for that. Along with that, awareness should be spread in common people, because not half of the world population even knows about this issue, let alone the repercussions. Both funding and educating are stepping stones towards tackling this problem.
Submitted on July 26, 2024 at 8:24 PM
Overall Evaluation
8 Bands
Your essay effectively addresses the question by presenting a balanced view on the importance of both government investment in e-waste management technologies and raising public awareness. Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and your conclusion ties your arguments together coherently. You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and have provided relevant examples to support your points. However, to further improve your essay, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and demonstrate your language proficiency. Additionally, including specific examples or case studies could strengthen your arguments and provide more concrete evidence. Overall, your essay is well-organized and addresses the task prompt directly, positioning you in a good band score range. Aim to refine your writing style and depth of analysis to achieve an even higher score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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8
Coherence & Cohesion
7.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, effectively presenting arguments for both sides of the debate before concluding with a synthesis of the two perspectives. Your ability to intertwine these arguments shows a good understanding of the essay's requirements. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
This essay will explore both these arguments, and explain why both these steps are important.
It effectively sets up the structure of your essay, indicating a balanced exploration of both viewpoints.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, consider introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. This will help in maintaining focus and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and well-structured, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all easily identifiable, which aids in readability and coherence. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
Therefore, states should be responsible, and develop technologies that can be used by public to dispose electronic waste, which in turn can be recycled.
This sentence effectively concludes the argument in its paragraph, linking the need for government action to the benefits of recycling e-waste.
Suggestions
For even more focused and coherent paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single main idea. Use examples or data to support your arguments within paragraphs, which can help in strengthening your claims and making the paragraphs more engaging.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay makes good use of cohesive devices, creating a smooth flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. However, there's room for more varied usage to enhance coherence further. Band: 7
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, increasing pollution is worsening the atmosphere of Earth, a threat as massive as this calls for actions of the same magnitude.
The phrase 'First and foremost' effectively signals the beginning of your argument, guiding the reader through your line of reasoning.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transitions, such as those that indicate contrast ('however', 'on the other hand') or consequence ('as a result', 'therefore'). This will not only enhance the flow of your essay but also demonstrate your ability to connect ideas in a more sophisticated manner.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences effectively introduce the main idea of each paragraph, guiding the reader through your argument in a logical and structured manner.
Good Sentence(s)
First and foremost, increasing pollution is worsening the atmosphere of Earth, a threat as massive as this calls for actions of the same magnitude.
This sentence effectively sets up the paragraph's focus on the necessity of government action due to the scale of the e-waste problem.
The other opinion about the issue is that raising awareness among the people is sufficient.
It clearly introduces the counterargument, setting the stage for a discussion on the importance of public awareness.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the paragraph’s main idea. Then, use the rest of the paragraph to expand upon this idea, providing evidence or examples. Ensure each topic sentence relates directly to your essay question or thesis statement.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints effectively by presenting both sides of the argument before stating your conclusion that both approaches are necessary. This balanced discussion enhances the persuasiveness of your essay.
Good Sentence(s)
While individual accountability is just as necessary as collective efforts, it is definitely not enough.
This sentence effectively acknowledges the importance of individual responsibility while emphasizing that it alone is insufficient, which is a nuanced approach to integrating counterarguments.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, consider directly quoting or paraphrasing opposing viewpoints before refuting them or presenting your perspective. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the issue and strengthens your argument. Additionally, using transitional phrases like 'however,' 'on the other hand,' or 'despite this' can help smoothly integrate these counterpoints into your argument.
Task Achievement
7.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a commendable job in addressing the task. You presented a balanced view, supported your arguments with examples, and maintained a clear position throughout the essay. To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and possibly a more impactful conclusion. Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses the task requirements effectively.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have effectively addressed the question by exploring both perspectives on how to tackle pollution from electronic waste. Your balanced approach in discussing the importance of both government intervention and public awareness aligns well with the question's requirements.
Good example(s)
Therefore, states should be responsible, and develop technologies that can be used by public to dispose electronic waste, which in turn can be recycled.
This sentence clearly supports the argument for government investment in e-waste management technologies.
Campaigns should be run to educate the people about being responsible in terms of electronic usage, teaching them how to discard the e-waste so it can be repurposed by the state.
This example effectively highlights the importance of raising public awareness about e-waste disposal.
Development of Position
Your argument is well-developed and presents a clear stance that both government action and public awareness are necessary. You have logically structured your essay to support this position.
Good example(s)
The other opinion about the issue is that raising awareness among the people is sufficient. While individual accountability is just as necessary as collective efforts, it is definitely not enough.
This sentence adeptly balances the argument, acknowledging the importance of awareness while emphasizing its insufficiency alone.
Supporting Details
Your examples and references, such as the mention of WHO, add credibility to your arguments. However, you could enhance your essay by including more specific examples or data to further support your claims.
Good example(s)
According to WHO, the pollution caused by end-of-life electronics is rapidly propagating, putting public health and eco-system at risk.
This detail provides authoritative support to the argument about the risks of e-waste.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position and reiterates the importance of both government action and public awareness. However, adding a call to action or suggesting future steps could provide more punch.
Good example(s)
Both funding and educating are stepping stones towards tackling this problem.
This sentence effectively summarizes the essay's main argument and emphasizes the dual approach needed.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of e-waste management. You effectively communicate your ideas and arguments, using terminology related to pollution, environmental concerns, and waste management. However, to enhance your lexical resource score, consider varying your language more and incorporating more precise terms related to the subject matter.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
issue 4 times | problem, challenge, dilemma, situation |
public 3 times | community, populace, citizens, society |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sustainable disposal practices Methods of discarding waste that are environmentally friendly and aim to minimize long-term damage. | Methods of discarding waste that are environmentally friendly and aim to minimize long-term damage. |
| circular economy An economic system aimed at eliminating waste and the continual use of resources through recycling and reusing. | An economic system aimed at eliminating waste and the continual use of resources through recycling and reusing. |
| environmental stewardship The responsible use and protection of the natural environment through conservation and sustainable practices. | The responsible use and protection of the natural environment through conservation and sustainable practices. |
| toxic substances Materials that can cause harm to humans, animals, plants, or the environment. | Materials that can cause harm to humans, animals, plants, or the environment. |
| recycling initiatives Programs or actions taken to promote the recycling of materials to reduce waste. | Programs or actions taken to promote the recycling of materials to reduce waste. |
Grammatical Range
8.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, showing a good grasp of complex sentence structures and appropriate tense usage. There are no significant grammatical errors that detract from the clarity or professionalism of your essay. To further improve, you might consider varying your sentence openings a bit more to avoid any semblance of repetitiveness and ensure each sentence contributes uniquely to your argument.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences, which enhances the readability and sophistication of your argument.
Good example(s)
Therefore, states should be responsible, and develop technologies that can be used by public to dispose electronic waste, which in turn can be recycled.
This sentence effectively combines multiple clauses in a complex structure that clearly conveys the idea and shows a high level of grammatical control.
Tense Usage
The use of tenses in your essay is consistent and correct, effectively supporting the clarity and coherence of your argument.
Good example(s)
Campaigns should be run to educate the people about being responsible in terms of electronic usage, teaching them how to discard the e-waste so it can be repurposed by the state.
This example shows a good use of the modal verb 'should' for recommendations and the present tense to describe general actions, which is appropriate for this type of essay.
Grammatical Errors
No Grammatical Errors detected in this essay