Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Advantage/Disadvantage Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: In your view, what are the advantages and disadvantages of implementing measures to regulate and control the use of social media platforms for political advertisements?
According to my perspective, implementing boundaries to run and control the activity of political advertisements presented in all social media platforms has its own pros and cons.
Overall, the social influences plays an important role when it comes to any field of interest. I'm here to talk about the two opposite perspective of implementing boundaries in political aspect.
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunation and information is getting leaked in several online websites such as the recent election dispute that took place in the past week. Like it or not, these misuse of political information or fake parties projecting new yojanas in the midst of an important event can be prevented if proper measures are taken. As we all know, there are several fake user IDs which can easily trap people into believing fake advertisements while right influence might unfortunately get unnoticed due to the choas. Secondly, speaking about the fake parties projections and establishment of ideas: recently in times of india on Nov 24 2024 Narendra Modi has delibrately spoke about the established ideas that has been circulating in the social media which has many loop holes and he has also promised to announce the ideology via telivision or newspaper.
Furthermore, creating booundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint or the attention that gets in social media wouldnt be the same elsewere. The prominent disadvantage is the citizens might feel neglected or try to get more information about the advertisements as the curiosity kicks in. Social media is everthing in this era, people spend there 60% of their time infront of there phone, not only that communicate via online apps. advertisements are meant to go viral and get in talks, but controlling the main aspect would create the unecessary void where people may never get a chance to view any influential ideas or be valid to spuport one.
Overall, the social influences plays an important role when it comes to any field of interest. I'm here to talk about the two opposite perspective of implementing boundaries in political aspect.
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunation and information is getting leaked in several online websites such as the recent election dispute that took place in the past week. Like it or not, these misuse of political information or fake parties projecting new yojanas in the midst of an important event can be prevented if proper measures are taken. As we all know, there are several fake user IDs which can easily trap people into believing fake advertisements while right influence might unfortunately get unnoticed due to the choas. Secondly, speaking about the fake parties projections and establishment of ideas: recently in times of india on Nov 24 2024 Narendra Modi has delibrately spoke about the established ideas that has been circulating in the social media which has many loop holes and he has also promised to announce the ideology via telivision or newspaper.
Furthermore, creating booundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint or the attention that gets in social media wouldnt be the same elsewere. The prominent disadvantage is the citizens might feel neglected or try to get more information about the advertisements as the curiosity kicks in. Social media is everthing in this era, people spend there 60% of their time infront of there phone, not only that communicate via online apps. advertisements are meant to go viral and get in talks, but controlling the main aspect would create the unecessary void where people may never get a chance to view any influential ideas or be valid to spuport one.
Submitted on June 9, 2024 at 7:22 PM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay provides a thoughtful analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of regulating political advertisements on social media platforms. You've successfully outlined key points on both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion. However, there are areas for improvement to enhance the clarity and impact of your essay. Firstly, your introduction could be more direct in stating the essay's aim and how you plan to explore the topic. Secondly, while your examples are relevant, ensuring accuracy in future dates and events (e.g., 'Nov 24 2024') would add credibility to your argument. Additionally, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure, with distinct paragraphs for each advantage and disadvantage, followed by a concise conclusion summarizing your stance. Paying attention to spelling and grammar, such as 'miscommunication' instead of 'miscommunation' and 'television' instead of 'telivision', will also improve the readability of your essay. Lastly, incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures could help achieve a higher band score by demonstrating greater language proficiency.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a basic structure but lacks clear progression between ideas, leading to a somewhat disjointed narrative. Band: 5.5
Good Sentence(s)
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunication and information is getting leaked in several online websites.
This sentence effectively introduces a key advantage of regulating political advertisements on social media.
Bad Sentence(s)
Furthermore, creating booundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint or the attention that gets in social media wouldnt be the same elsewere.
Corrected Sentence:
Furthermore, creating boundaries would inherently decrease the diversity of opinions on political viewpoints, as the attention they receive on social media would not be replicated elsewhere.
Furthermore, creating boundaries would inherently decrease the diversity of opinions on political viewpoints, as the attention they receive on social media would not be replicated elsewhere.
Clarify the idea and correct spelling errors to improve readability.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by outlining your main points before writing. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and transitions to link your ideas smoothly.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are structured around distinct ideas but lack clear transitions and coherence, making it difficult to follow your argument. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
Social media is everthing in this era, people spend there 60% of their time infront of there phone, not only that communicate via online apps.
Corrected Sentence:
Social media is everything in this era; people spend 60% of their time in front of their phones, not only browsing but also communicating via online apps.
Social media is everything in this era; people spend 60% of their time in front of their phones, not only browsing but also communicating via online apps.
Split complex ideas into separate sentences for clarity and correct grammatical errors.
Suggestions
Focus on creating paragraphs that each introduce a single idea. Use the first sentence to introduce the paragraph's main idea and subsequent sentences to elaborate on it. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is limited, impacting the overall coherence of your essay. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
Like it or not, these misuse of political information or fake parties projecting new yojanas in the midst of an important event can be prevented if proper measures are taken.
Corrected Sentence:
Regardless, the misuse of political information and the projection of false promises by fake parties during crucial events can be mitigated with appropriate measures.
Regardless, the misuse of political information and the projection of false promises by fake parties during crucial events can be mitigated with appropriate measures.
Use clearer cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the sentence structure for better coherence.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of linking words that clearly show the relationship between ideas, such as 'consequently,' 'moreover,' and 'however.' Practice using these in sentences to ensure they fit the context and flow of your argument.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences could be more direct and focused to clearly introduce the advantages and disadvantages of the issue.
Good Sentence(s)
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunication and information is getting leaked in several online websites such as the recent election dispute that took place in the past week.
This sentence effectively introduces the advantage of implementing measures by highlighting the issue of misinformation.
Bad Sentence(s)
Furthermore, creating boundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint or the attention that gets in social media wouldn't be the same elsewhere.
Corrected Sentence:
A significant disadvantage of implementing these measures is the potential reduction in the diversity of political opinions and engagement on social media platforms.
A significant disadvantage of implementing these measures is the potential reduction in the diversity of political opinions and engagement on social media platforms.
Clarify and directly state the disadvantage to make the topic sentence more impactful.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement that directly addresses the advantage or disadvantage. Then, use the rest of the paragraph to elaborate on this point.
Counter Points
You have attempted to address contrasting viewpoints, but the integration of these viewpoints could be more seamless and clearly defined.
Bad Sentence(s)
The prominent disadvantage is the citizens might feel neglected or try to get more information about the advertisements as the curiosity kicks in.
Corrected Sentence:
While controlling political ads on social media can reduce misinformation, it may also inadvertently limit citizens' engagement and access to diverse political viewpoints.
While controlling political ads on social media can reduce misinformation, it may also inadvertently limit citizens' engagement and access to diverse political viewpoints.
Introduce counterpoints by acknowledging the potential benefits before presenting the drawbacks to create a more balanced argument.
Suggestions
To better address and integrate counterarguments, clearly state the opposing viewpoint before offering evidence or reasoning to support your position. This structure helps in presenting a balanced and reasoned argument.
Task Achievement
5.5 Bands
Overall, you have made a commendable effort to address the task, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of regulating political advertisements on social media. However, your essay would benefit from clearer argumentation, better spelling and grammar, and more precise examples. Enhancing these areas would help in achieving a higher band score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You addressed the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of regulating political advertisements on social media, which aligns with the task's requirements.
Good example(s)
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunication and information is getting leaked in several online websites...
This sentence effectively highlights a significant advantage of implementing measures to regulate political advertisements, addressing the issue of misinformation.
Bad Example(s)
Furthermore, creating booundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint...
This sentence is unclear and contains spelling errors ('booundaries', 'byfault'), which detracts from the argument's clarity.
Development of Position
Your argument is somewhat developed but lacks depth in places. The essay presents both sides but fails to fully explore the implications of each point made.
Bad Example(s)
Social media is everthing in this era, people spend there 60% of their time infront of there phone...
This sentence attempts to support your argument but is weakened by generalizations and spelling errors ('everthing', 'there' instead of 'their', 'infront').
Supporting Details
The examples used, such as the reference to Narendra Modi and the Times of India, are relevant but need to be more detailed and accurately cited to enhance credibility.
Bad Example(s)
recently in times of india on Nov 24 2024 Narendra Modi has delibrately spoke about...
This detail lacks credibility due to the future date and misspellings ('delibrately' should be 'deliberately'), making it a weak supporting detail.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates the main points but lacks a strong final statement that encapsulates the overall significance of the argument.
Bad Example(s)
but controlling the main aspect would create the unecessary void where people may never get a chance to view any influential ideas or be valid to spuport one.
This sentence is confusing and ends the essay on an unclear note, with spelling errors ('unecessary', 'spuport') that further weaken the conclusion.
Lexical Resources
6 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair understanding and use of lexical resources, though there is room for improvement in terms of precision, variety, and accuracy. Enhancing your vocabulary and paying attention to the correct usage of words will make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| miscommunation | miscommunication | Typographical error. |
| delibrately | deliberately | Spelling mistake. |
| telivision | television | Spelling mistake. |
| booundaries | boundaries | Typographical error. |
| there | their | Incorrect usage of 'there' instead of 'their' for possession. |
| choas | chaos | Spelling mistake. |
| yojanas | schemes | Use of a less internationally recognized term. 'Schemes' is more universally understood. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
boundaries 2 times | limits, controls, restrictions |
social media 5 times | online platforms, digital channels |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Regulatory measures Actions taken to control or govern activities within a certain framework. | Actions taken to control or govern activities within a certain framework. |
| Dissemination The act of spreading something, especially information, widely. | The act of spreading something, especially information, widely. |
| Misinformation False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. | False or inaccurate information, especially that which is deliberately intended to deceive. |
| Transparency The condition of being transparent; openness, communication, and accountability. | The condition of being transparent; openness, communication, and accountability. |
| Engagement The fact of being involved with something. | The fact of being involved with something. |
| Censorship The suppression or prohibition of any parts of books, films, news, etc. that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security. | The suppression or prohibition of any parts of books, films, news, etc. that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security. |
Grammatical Range
5.5 Bands
Your essay contains several grammatical and spelling errors that impact its clarity and professionalism. Focusing on spelling, correct use of contractions, and the differentiation between 'there' and 'their' would significantly improve your writing. Additionally, breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences can help in maintaining the reader's engagement and understanding. It's also crucial to proofread your essay to catch and correct these mistakes.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences show some variation in structure, but they could benefit from more complexity and variation to enhance readability and engagement. There's a tendency towards long, run-on sentences that could be broken down for clarity.
Good example(s)
One of the major advantage is that nowadays, there is a lot of miscommunication and information is getting leaked in several online websites such as the recent election dispute that took place in the past week.
This sentence, despite being lengthy, manages to convey a complex idea with a clear example, showing an attempt at structuring a complex sentence.
Bad Example(s)
Furthermore, creating booundaries would byfault decrease the opinions given on any political viewpoint or the attention that gets in social media wouldnt be the same elsewere.
This sentence is a run-on with multiple ideas that could be separated into clearer, more concise sentences. Additionally, it contains spelling errors and lacks clarity in its argument.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, focusing on the present perspective. However, there are instances where tense shifts could be managed better to maintain a consistent narrative flow.
Grammatical Errors
booundaries
Correction:
boundaries
boundaries
Spelling mistake.
delibrately
Correction:
deliberately
deliberately
Spelling mistake.
telivision
Correction:
television
television
Spelling mistake.
there 60% of their time infront of there phone
Correction:
their 60% of the time in front of their phone
their 60% of the time in front of their phone
Incorrect use of 'there' instead of 'their', and 'infront' should be 'in front'.
wouldnt
Correction:
wouldn't
wouldn't
Missing apostrophe for contraction.
elsewere
Correction:
elsewhere
elsewhere
Spelling mistake.
choas
Correction:
chaos
chaos
Spelling mistake.
yojanas
Correction:
schemes
schemes
Use of a non-English term without explanation. Assuming 'yojanas' refers to 'schemes' or 'plans'.