Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people argue that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat, while others believe that including meat and animal products in your diet is essential for good health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live. Many people think that a vegetarian or vegan diet is the healthiest way to eat however, I believe that food which includes meat and animal products are good for our health.
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health. In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods. For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance. Futhermore eating these products are better way to gain weight those who desire to get a perfect body shape, also some people think that it is important to consume meats and animal product for everyday activities. For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health. In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods. For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health beacuse it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance. Futhermore eating these products are better way to gain weight those who desire to get a perfect body shape, also some people think that it is important to consume meats and animal product for everyday activities. For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
Submitted on June 24, 2024 at 9:33 AM
Overall Evaluation
5.5 Bands
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both views on diet preferences and clearly stating your own opinion, which is good. However, there are several areas for improvement to reach a higher band score. Firstly, your introduction could be stronger by directly addressing the question and providing a clearer outline of the essay. Secondly, your argumentation would benefit from more detailed examples and references to studies or statistics to support your claims. Additionally, your essay has numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder readability. Consider revising for sentence structure, punctuation, and word choice. Also, pay attention to spelling and consistency (e.g., 'non-veg' vs. 'non-vegetarian'). Finally, your conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the key points more effectively and reinforcing your stance. Improving these areas could significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, as well as its overall persuasiveness and grammatical range, potentially increasing your IELTS writing score.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5.5
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5 Bands
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay has a clear basic structure but lacks depth in argumentation and variety in sentence structure. Overall, the flow from one idea to another is somewhat abrupt, and the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Band: 5.5
Good Sentence(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively provides specific examples to support the argument, making the claim more tangible.
Bad Sentence(s)
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
Corrected Sentence:
Food plays a crucial role in sustaining life, and the choice between a vegetarian or non-vegetarian diet significantly impacts our health.
Food plays a crucial role in sustaining life, and the choice between a vegetarian or non-vegetarian diet significantly impacts our health.
Revise to directly address the essay question and provide a more engaging opening statement.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
Corrected Sentence:
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet can be beneficial, I believe that including meat and animal products, which are rich in nutrients and proteins, offers the best option for maintaining our health.
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet can be beneficial, I believe that including meat and animal products, which are rich in nutrients and proteins, offers the best option for maintaining our health.
Correct spelling errors, improve clarity, and strengthen the conclusion.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start by outlining your main points before writing. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the argument, and employ transition words to smoothly connect ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are identifiable but need clearer topic sentences and more cohesive development of ideas. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our health. They believe that non-vegetarian foods, being high in fats, can have detrimental effects on our health.
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our health. They believe that non-vegetarian foods, being high in fats, can have detrimental effects on our health.
Split into more focused sentences and clarify the argument.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph structure by starting each with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph's main idea. Follow this with supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes the paragraph's key point or links to the next idea.
Cohesive Devices
Your use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes repetitive. There's room for more sophisticated linking words and phrases to better connect ideas. Band: 5.0
Bad Sentence(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
Corrected Sentence:
For example, consuming fresh vegetables and fruits, such as apples, bananas, carrots, and beetroots, can stimulate our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
For example, consuming fresh vegetables and fruits, such as apples, bananas, carrots, and beetroots, can stimulate our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
Improve the sentence by correcting the grammatical structure and ensuring the cohesive device clearly links the example to the argument.
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, diversify your linking words beyond basic connectors like 'and', 'but', and 'for example'. Study and incorporate a range of transitions that show contrast, addition, cause and effect, and sequence to make your writing more fluid and engaging.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear indication of the direction of each paragraph, but they could be more nuanced and engaging to better guide the reader through your argument.
Good Sentence(s)
On the other hand, I certainly believe that consuming non-veg items and dairy product are good for human health because it contains huge amount of proteins and calories which helps to boost our body performance.
This sentence effectively introduces your personal stance and the reasoning behind it, making it clear and direct.
Bad Sentence(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
Corrected Sentence:
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our body and health, citing concerns over the detrimental effects and high fat content of non-vegetarian foods.
To begin with, some argue that vegetarian diets are beneficial for our body and health, citing concerns over the detrimental effects and high fat content of non-vegetarian foods.
Clarify and refine the sentence for better readability and coherence.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise summary of the paragraph's main argument. Use active voice and specific language. Avoid vague terms and ensure the sentence provides a strong foundation for the paragraph's content.
Counter Points
You have attempted to address contrasting viewpoints, but the integration and analysis of these counterpoints could be deeper. Providing more evidence and discussing the implications of each view would strengthen your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
In this modern day, non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type which cause many diseases towards human health thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods.
Corrected Sentence:
In modern times, concerns have been raised about hybrid non-vegetarian items like eggs, meat, and chicken, which some believe may contribute to health issues, prompting a shift towards vegetarian diets.
In modern times, concerns have been raised about hybrid non-vegetarian items like eggs, meat, and chicken, which some believe may contribute to health issues, prompting a shift towards vegetarian diets.
Provide evidence or sources for claims, and clarify the argument for better engagement with the counterpoint.
Suggestions
To more effectively address and integrate counterarguments, acknowledge the validity of opposing views before presenting evidence or reasoning to support your own stance. Use transitional phrases to smoothly navigate between different viewpoints and strengthen your argument with data or reputable sources.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
Overall, you have made an attempt to address the task, but there are several areas for improvement. Your essay would benefit from clearer argumentation, better structure, and more detailed supporting evidence. Additionally, attention to spelling and grammar is necessary to avoid undermining your credibility.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have addressed the question by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, the depth of analysis for each viewpoint could be improved to fully hit the mark.
Good example(s)
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence effectively illustrates the benefits of a vegetarian diet with specific examples.
Bad Example(s)
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
This sentence contains multiple spelling and grammatical errors, weakening the overall argument.
Development of Position
Your argument is clear but lacks strong, persuasive elements to make it compelling. The development of your position could benefit from more detailed explanations and evidence.
Bad Example(s)
To begin with,some argue that vegetarian diets are food for our body and health because they think that a non vegetarian food has detrimental effect on health and also contains lot of fats with may cause trouble to health.
This sentence is confusing and poorly structured, making it difficult to understand the argument being made.
Supporting Details
The examples used provide a basic level of support for your arguments but lack depth and detail. Including more robust, researched evidence could strengthen your position.
Bad Example(s)
For instance, a report says that,75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products to prevents their body from health problems.
This statement is vague and lacks citation, making it a weak piece of evidence.
Conclusion
Your conclusion restates your position but does not effectively summarize the discussion or leave a lasting impression.
Bad Example(s)
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health,I believe that eating meat and animal products is the best option for our health, futhermore it contains lot of nutrients and protiens compared to vegan products.
The conclusion is repetitive and contains spelling and grammatical errors.
Lexical Resources
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary pertinent to the topic, yet it could benefit from more precise and varied language to better articulate your arguments and enhance the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your discussion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Learn more about lexical evaluation
Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| food for our body | good for our body | Typographical error, incorrect phrase used. |
| beacuse | because | Spelling mistake. |
| Futhermore | Furthermore | Spelling mistake. |
| protiens | proteins | Spelling mistake. |
| conclution | conclusion | Spelling mistake. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
health 9 times | well-being, fitness, condition |
food 5 times | nutrition, sustenance, diet |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| detrimental Causing harm or damage. | Causing harm or damage. |
| sustain Strengthen or support physically or mentally. | Strengthen or support physically or mentally. |
| hybrid A thing made by combining two different elements. | A thing made by combining two different elements. |
| stimulates Encourage or arouse interest or enthusiasm. | Encourage or arouse interest or enthusiasm. |
| nutrients Substances that provide nourishment essential for growth and the maintenance of life. | Substances that provide nourishment essential for growth and the maintenance of life. |
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of grammar, but there are several areas for improvement. Issues include verb tense agreement, article usage, and typographical errors that impact the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Additionally, attention to detail in spelling and punctuation will enhance the overall readability of your essay. Incorporating complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement are crucial steps to elevate your writing.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity. Most sentences are simple or compound, with limited use of complex structures that could enhance the depth and clarity of your arguments.
Bad Example(s)
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
This sentence is awkwardly structured and could be more concise and impactful.
For example, eating fresh vegetables, and fruits such as apple, banana, carrot, and beetroot which stimulates our body functions and protect us from various health problems.
This sentence is a run-on and lacks clarity. It could be split into two or more sentences to improve readability.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent, but there are instances where the tense does not match the context, leading to confusion about the timing of actions.
Bad Example(s)
non-veg items such as egg, meat, and chicken has become hybrid type
Incorrect verb agreement; it should be 'have become' to match the plural subject.
Grammatical Errors
We already knew that food is the essential part of our life to live.
Correction:
We already know that food is an essential part of our lives.
We already know that food is an essential part of our lives.
Improper tense usage and awkward phrasing.
vegetarian diets are food for our body and health
Correction:
vegetarian diets are good for our body and health
vegetarian diets are good for our body and health
Typographical error.
which may cause trouble to health
Correction:
which may cause health problems
which may cause health problems
Clarity and conciseness issue.
thats the reason many people choose to maintaoin their diet with vegetarian foods
Correction:
that's why many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods
that's why many people choose to maintain their diet with vegetarian foods
Spelling and punctuation errors.
contains huge amount of proteins and calories
Correction:
contains a huge amount of proteins and calories
contains a huge amount of proteins and calories
Article usage error.
75% healthier people's are daily consuming animals products
Correction:
75% of healthier people consume animal products daily
75% of healthier people consume animal products daily
Incorrect possessive form, awkward phrasing, and tense consistency.
In conclution, although vegetarian diet may good for our health
Correction:
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet may be good for our health
In conclusion, although a vegetarian diet may be good for our health
Spelling error and missing verb.