Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Discussion Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Some people think that the development of new infrastructure, such as roads and buildings, benefits society more than protecting natural landscapes. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.
The debate about the development of new social structures and preserving the natural landscape is a contentious one. While some members of society are in favor of constructing new roads and buildings, a great number think that it is detrimental to the natural environment. This essay will help to recognize both perspectives.
On the one hand, good and modern infrastructure plays a crucial role in the economy of a nation.
It is considered the backbone of the financial stability of a country because it helps a lot in the representation of that particular nation. For instance, before 1995 Russia used to have quite old and outdated infrastructures but in 2005 during the government of Putin, mass development was seen especially in the development of vast roads, giving a quick boost to the Russian Economy. Moreover, old infrastructure is full of faults so new ones with technological advancement are enhancing the quality of life.
On the other hand, the natural environment is the blessing of God in the sphere of humans. To live a life full of quality, nature is essential because all the health and food of humans as well as other consumers comes from plants. So their preservation is also a green flag. Urbanization is destructive to the environment because it is steadily replacing natural products with artificiality.
In my opinion, both of them play an important role. If they are considered and developed in a fair way they will give a great number of advantages to Earth and will help in maintaining a healthy and peaceful society. Green energy is the only source to keep nature clean with effective modern technology.
On the one hand, good and modern infrastructure plays a crucial role in the economy of a nation.
It is considered the backbone of the financial stability of a country because it helps a lot in the representation of that particular nation. For instance, before 1995 Russia used to have quite old and outdated infrastructures but in 2005 during the government of Putin, mass development was seen especially in the development of vast roads, giving a quick boost to the Russian Economy. Moreover, old infrastructure is full of faults so new ones with technological advancement are enhancing the quality of life.
On the other hand, the natural environment is the blessing of God in the sphere of humans. To live a life full of quality, nature is essential because all the health and food of humans as well as other consumers comes from plants. So their preservation is also a green flag. Urbanization is destructive to the environment because it is steadily replacing natural products with artificiality.
In my opinion, both of them play an important role. If they are considered and developed in a fair way they will give a great number of advantages to Earth and will help in maintaining a healthy and peaceful society. Green energy is the only source to keep nature clean with effective modern technology.
Submitted on March 25, 2024 at 5:40 PM
Overall Evaluation
7 Bands
Your essay effectively discusses both views on the development of new infrastructure versus protecting natural landscapes. You provide a balanced perspective, acknowledging the importance of both economic development and environmental preservation. The example of Russia's infrastructure development underlines your argument about the economic benefits of new infrastructure. However, your essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or evidence to support the preservation of natural landscapes. Additionally, your conclusion successfully ties both perspectives together, suggesting a harmonious approach. To improve, consider refining your essay with clearer topic sentences and more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, but there's room for further development in argumentation and structure.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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7
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a structured approach to discussing both views on infrastructure development and natural landscape preservation. The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are well-organized, each focusing on a specific viewpoint. However, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, concluding the essay with a stronger statement that encapsulates your opinion and the evidence presented would improve its effectiveness.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Logical Organization
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion. The balance between discussing the development of infrastructure and the importance of preserving natural landscapes before stating your opinion is well-maintained. Band: 7.5
Good Sentence(s)
For instance, before 1995 Russia used to have quite old and outdated infrastructures but in 2005 during the government of Putin, mass development was seen especially in the development of vast roads, giving a quick boost to the Russian Economy.
This sentence effectively uses a specific example to support the argument, demonstrating good organization and flow of ideas.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, try to explicitly link your examples back to the main argument in each paragraph. Use phrases like 'This demonstrates that...' or 'Therefore, it can be seen that...' to make connections clearer.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are clear and generally well-structured, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the transition between them could be smoother. Band: 7
Good Sentence(s)
On the one hand, good and modern infrastructure plays a crucial role in the economy of a nation.
This sentence effectively introduces the paragraph topic, making it clear what the focus will be.
Suggestions
Improve paragraph focus by starting each with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis. Use transitional phrases to smooth the shift from one paragraph to the next.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay makes use of cohesive devices, but there's room for more varied and sophisticated use. Band: 6.5
Suggestions
To improve your use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of expressions such as 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' and 'As a result.' This will help to more clearly signal the relationship between ideas.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences provide a clear overview of the essay's direction, effectively setting the stage for discussion on both views regarding infrastructure development and natural landscape preservation.
Good Sentence(s)
On the one hand, good and modern infrastructure plays a crucial role in the economy of a nation.
This sentence effectively introduces the argument in favor of infrastructure development, highlighting its economic benefits.
On the other hand, the natural environment is the blessing of God in the sphere of humans.
It contrasts the previous point by emphasizing the importance of preserving natural landscapes, setting up a balanced discussion.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start with a concise statement of the main idea, followed by a brief explanation that sets the context for the paragraph. Ensure each topic sentence directly relates to the essay question.
Counter Points
You have handled contrasting viewpoints with a balanced approach, presenting both the importance of infrastructure development and the preservation of natural landscapes. However, integrating specific examples or evidence to support each view could strengthen your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
Urbanization is destructive to the environment because it is steadily replacing natural products with artificiality.
Corrected Sentence:
Urbanization, through the extensive replacement of natural landscapes with artificial structures, significantly harms biodiversity and ecosystems.
Urbanization, through the extensive replacement of natural landscapes with artificial structures, significantly harms biodiversity and ecosystems.
Clarify this statement by providing specific examples or evidence of how urbanization impacts the environment negatively.
Suggestions
To address and integrate counterarguments more effectively, acknowledge the validity of opposing views and then use evidence or examples to explain why your perspective is more persuasive. This approach shows a deep understanding of the topic and enhances the credibility of your argument.
Task Achievement
6.5 Bands
Overall, you have done a good job of discussing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion. Your essay is structured and presents clear arguments. To improve, consider adding more specific examples and a stronger conclusion to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
You have addressed the question by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which aligns with the task requirements.
Good example(s)
For instance, before 1995 Russia used to have quite old and outdated infrastructures but in 2005 during the government of Putin, mass development was seen especially in the development of vast roads, giving a quick boost to the Russian Economy.
This example effectively illustrates the positive impact of infrastructure development on a country's economy.
Development of Position
Your argument presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both infrastructure development and environmental preservation. However, a more explicit stance in the conclusion could strengthen your position.
Good example(s)
In my opinion, both of them play an important role. If they are considered and developed in a fair way they will give a great number of advantages to Earth and will help in maintaining a healthy and peaceful society.
This sentence clearly communicates your balanced viewpoint and suggests a harmonious approach.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant and support your arguments well. However, including more specific details or statistics could enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Good example(s)
Moreover, old infrastructure is full of faults so new ones with technological advancement are enhancing the quality of life.
This detail supports the argument for new infrastructure by highlighting its benefits over old infrastructure.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your balanced view but lacks a strong, compelling closing statement that could make your position more memorable.
Bad Example(s)
Green energy is the only source to keep nature clean with effective modern technology.
This sentence, while important, feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the conclusion and doesn't effectively summarize the essay's main points.
Lexical Resources
7.5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, effectively conveying arguments for both views and your own opinion. However, enhancing the variety of expressions and avoiding slight repetitions could further improve your lexical resource score.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
infrastructure 3 times | facilities, systems, constructions |
environment 3 times | nature, surroundings, ecosystem |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| contentious Causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial. | Causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial. |
| urbanization The process of making an area more urban. | The process of making an area more urban. |
| green energy Energy derived from natural sources that are renewable and have a low environmental impact. | Energy derived from natural sources that are renewable and have a low environmental impact. |
| technological advancement The application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes, especially in industry. | The application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes, especially in industry. |
| financial stability The condition of having steady and secure financial conditions. | The condition of having steady and secure financial conditions. |
Grammatical Range
7.5 Bands
Overall, your grammar is strong, with only minor errors detected. Your sentences are generally well-constructed, and you effectively communicate your ideas. Paying attention to more natural phrasing and avoiding idiomatic expressions that might not translate well in academic writing could further improve your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
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Sentence Structures
Your essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which enhances readability and coherence.
Good example(s)
For instance, before 1995 Russia used to have quite old and outdated infrastructures but in 2005 during the government of Putin, mass development was seen especially in the development of vast roads, giving a quick boost to the Russian Economy.
This sentence effectively combines historical context with a cause-and-effect structure, illustrating your point clearly.
Tense Usage
Your use of tenses is generally consistent and correct, aligning well with the discussion of both past events and general opinions.
Good example(s)
It is considered the backbone of the financial stability of a country because it helps a lot in the representation of that particular nation.
The present tense is used appropriately here to describe a current belief or opinion, which is suitable for this type of essay.
Grammatical Errors
So their preservation is also a green flag.
Correction:
Therefore, their preservation is also beneficial.
Therefore, their preservation is also beneficial.
The original sentence uses 'a green flag' in a context where its meaning is unclear. The correction clarifies the intended meaning.