Evaluation Report for General Writing Task 2 Agree/Disagree Essay Submission
Essay Evaluation
Question: Do you agree or disagree that the influence of mass media has more positive effects than negative ones on society?
Yes, i agree that the influence of mass media has more positive effects than the negative ones on society because as compartively negative work there is more percentage of positive work is included in social media.
In today generetion social media is the device to connect worldwide. This media is very useful to ruin our daily life. Social media is the common needs of people in this generation. Social media can create a employment opportunities for unemployment people which is good thing for our nation. If people know the impprtance of media then they automatically make the positive benefits from media. It may provide positive impact in the society by influence or inspiring with other famous creature. There are also people who misuse the media and do crime from it but it is on rarely case. By this mass medial people can generate their own business through online without hige amount of investment. Overall media spread positive impact in society.
In today generetion social media is the device to connect worldwide. This media is very useful to ruin our daily life. Social media is the common needs of people in this generation. Social media can create a employment opportunities for unemployment people which is good thing for our nation. If people know the impprtance of media then they automatically make the positive benefits from media. It may provide positive impact in the society by influence or inspiring with other famous creature. There are also people who misuse the media and do crime from it but it is on rarely case. By this mass medial people can generate their own business through online without hige amount of investment. Overall media spread positive impact in society.
Submitted on February 11, 2024 at 4:48 PM
Overall Evaluation
5 Bands
Your essay addresses the topic of the influence of mass media on society, asserting that its effects are more positive than negative. However, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, your introduction could be clearer and more engaging to better outline your argument. Your essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing ('ruin our daily life' seems to convey the opposite of what you intended, and 'generetion' should be 'generation'), which can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. It's important to proofread your essay for such errors. Additionally, your argument would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your claims about the positive effects of social media, such as specific instances of employment opportunities created or businesses successfully launched through social media platforms. While you mention the potential for misuse and crime, this point is not fully developed. Consider discussing how the positive aspects can outweigh these negatives, perhaps by mentioning measures that can be taken to minimize misuse. Lastly, your conclusion summarizes your points but could be stronger by reinforcing why the positive impacts are significant and how they can be enhanced. Overall, focusing on structure, clarity, and support for your arguments will greatly improve your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, state of the art AI and ML algorithms trained on millions of essays analyze how well you have performed on all fronts of IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors.
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5
Coherence & Cohesion
4 Bands
Your essay lacks coherence in some parts due to abrupt transitions and unclear topic sentences. Improving the clarity of your topic sentences and using transitional phrases to connect ideas can enhance coherence. Additionally, focusing on a structured flow of arguments will improve the essay's overall cohesion.
In this part of essay evaluation, the laser-focused algorithms meticulously examine your essay’s structure, ensuring your ideas flow logically and cohesively.
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Learn more about coherence & cohesion evaluation
Logical Organization
Your essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow. Ideas seem randomly placed without a coherent progression.
Bad Sentence(s)
This media is very useful to ruin our daily life.
Corrected Sentence:
This media plays a crucial role in enhancing our daily life.
This media plays a crucial role in enhancing our daily life.
Clarify your intention to avoid confusion.
Social media can create a employment opportunities for unemployment people which is good thing for our nation.
Corrected Sentence:
Social media can create employment opportunities for unemployed people, benefiting our nation.
Social media can create employment opportunities for unemployed people, benefiting our nation.
Improve sentence structure for clarity.
Suggestions
To enhance logical progression, start with an introduction that outlines your main points, follow with body paragraphs that each focus on one main idea, and conclude with a summary of your arguments.
Paragraphing
Your paragraphs are not clearly defined, making it difficult to distinguish between different sections and ideas.
Bad Sentence(s)
In today generetion social media is the device to connect worldwide.
Corrected Sentence:
In today's generation, social media serves as a device to connect worldwide.
In today's generation, social media serves as a device to connect worldwide.
Start a new paragraph to introduce the topic of social media's role.
Suggestions
Focus on creating one paragraph for each main idea. Begin with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that ties back to your overall argument.
Cohesive Devices
Your essay shows an attempt to use cohesive devices, but they are not always used effectively, leading to a lack of coherence.
Bad Sentence(s)
Social media is the common needs of people in this generation.
Corrected Sentence:
Furthermore, social media addresses the common needs of people in this generation.
Furthermore, social media addresses the common needs of people in this generation.
Use cohesive devices to better connect your ideas.
Suggestions
Improve your use of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of transitions such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'as a result' to better link your ideas and paragraphs.
Topic Sentences
Your topic sentences need improvement for clarity and directness. They should explicitly outline the main idea of each paragraph.
Bad Sentence(s)
In today generetion social media is the device to connect worldwide.
Corrected Sentence:
In today's generation, social media serves as a global connector, offering numerous benefits.
In today's generation, social media serves as a global connector, offering numerous benefits.
Clarify and directly state the paragraph's main point.
Social media can create a employment opportunities for unemployment people which is good thing for our nation.
Corrected Sentence:
Social media plays a crucial role in creating employment opportunities, which benefits the nation's economy.
Social media plays a crucial role in creating employment opportunities, which benefits the nation's economy.
Start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the paragraph's focus on employment opportunities.
Suggestions
To write clear and impactful topic sentences, start each paragraph with a sentence that clearly states the main idea. Use active voice and specific language to directly convey your point.
Counter Points
You briefly mentioned contrasting viewpoints but did not effectively integrate or refute them to strengthen your argument.
Bad Sentence(s)
There are also people who misuse the media and do crime from it but it is on rarely case.
Corrected Sentence:
Although there are instances of media misuse leading to criminal activities, these cases are rare compared to the overwhelming positive impacts of social media.
Although there are instances of media misuse leading to criminal activities, these cases are rare compared to the overwhelming positive impacts of social media.
Acknowledge the counterpoint more clearly and provide a rebuttal to strengthen your argument.
Suggestions
To better address and integrate counterarguments, explicitly acknowledge contrasting viewpoints and provide evidence or reasoning to refute them. This will make your argument stronger and more balanced.
Task Achievement
5 Bands
You have addressed the task by agreeing that the influence of mass media is more positive than negative. However, your argument would benefit from clearer examples, fewer contradictions, and more detailed explanations. There are also some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder the clarity of your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the system evaluates how effectively your essay fulfills the given question, focusing on its relevance and comprehensiveness.
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Response to Question
Your essay directly addresses the question by agreeing that mass media has more positive effects on society. However, the explanation and justification of this stance could be more detailed.
Good example(s)
Social media can create employment opportunities for unemployed people which is a good thing for our nation.
This sentence provides a clear, positive effect of mass media on society.
Bad Example(s)
This media is very useful to ruin our daily life.
This seems to be a typo or error, as it contradicts the main argument by suggesting a negative impact.
Development of Position
Your position is somewhat clear but lacks strong, cohesive arguments to fully support your stance. More examples and a clearer line of reasoning would strengthen your position.
Bad Example(s)
It may provide positive impact in the society by influence or inspiring with other famous creature.
This sentence is vague and confusing, making it a weak argument for your position.
Supporting Details
Your examples are relevant but need to be more specific and detailed to effectively support your argument. Expanding on how social media creates employment or inspires positive actions would be beneficial.
Bad Example(s)
There are also people who misuse the media and do crime from it but it is on rarely case.
This sentence acknowledges a counterpoint but is dismissive and lacks detail or evidence to support the rarity of misuse.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main point but lacks a strong closing argument to reinforce your position. A more impactful final statement would enhance your conclusion.
Lexical Resources
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic, but there are several areas where the lexical resource could be improved. The use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and limited, which affects the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your argument. Enhancing your word choice and avoiding common mistakes could significantly improve your essay.
In this part of essay evaluation, the AI browses through 1,70,000+ words to analyze the diversity, suitability, and precision, reflecting high linguistic competence.
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Errors & Improvements
Based on the essay question, We have curated a list of suggested vocabulary that can improve the versatility of your writing skill. Utilise these words in your next essay to get your desired bands.
Lexical Mistakes
| Mistake | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| generetion | generation | Spelling error. |
| compartively | comparatively | Spelling error. |
| ruin our daily life | enhance our daily life | Incorrect word choice that conveys the opposite meaning. |
| impprtance | importance | Spelling error. |
| hige | huge | Spelling error. |
| medial | media | Typographical error. |
Repeated Words
| Repeated Words | Alternative Words |
|---|---|
media 5 times | social platforms, digital platforms, online networks |
positive 4 times | beneficial, constructive, advantageous |
Vocabulary Suggestions
| Word Phrase | Meaning |
|---|---|
| pervasive Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people. | Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people. |
| catalyst A person or thing that precipitates an event or change. | A person or thing that precipitates an event or change. |
| empower Give (someone) the authority or power to do something. | Give (someone) the authority or power to do something. |
| innovate Make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas, or products. | Make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas, or products. |
| networking The action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts. | The action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts. |
Out of Context
ruin our daily life
Corrected Sentence:
enhance our daily life
enhance our daily life
Usage of 'ruin our daily life' in the context of social media's positive impact.
Grammatical Range
5 Bands
Your essay demonstrates a fundamental understanding of grammar, but there are several areas for improvement. Issues such as misspellings, incorrect word choices (e.g., 'ruin' instead of 'enhance'), and subject-verb agreement errors detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Focusing on complex sentence structures, correct tense usage, and accurate vocabulary will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.
In this part of essay evaluation, the ML algorithms evaluate sentence structure, scrutinizing for grammatical precision and diversity — crucial for advanced language skills.
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Learn more about grammar evaluation
Sentence Structures
Your sentences lack variety and complexity, which is essential for achieving a higher band score in IELTS writing. Most sentences are simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentence structures.
Bad Example(s)
This media is very useful to ruin our daily life.
This sentence likely contains a misuse of the word 'ruin', which contradicts the intended positive meaning. It's also a simple sentence that could be expanded for clarity and depth.
Social media is the common needs of people in this generation.
This sentence is awkwardly phrased and structurally simple. It could be improved by adjusting for subject-verb agreement and adding complexity.
Tense Usage
Your essay predominantly uses the present simple tense, which is appropriate for discussing general truths and ongoing situations. However, the consistency and correctness in tense usage are somewhat undermined by grammatical inaccuracies.
Grammatical Errors
as compartively negative work there is more percentage of positive work is included in social media.
Correction:
compared to negative aspects, a larger percentage of social media's impact is positive.
compared to negative aspects, a larger percentage of social media's impact is positive.
The original sentence is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. It also misuses 'compartively' instead of 'compared to'.
In today generetion social media is the device to connect worldwide.
Correction:
In today's generation, social media is a tool for global connection.
In today's generation, social media is a tool for global connection.
Misspelling of 'generation' and incorrect use of 'today'. The sentence also lacks punctuation for clarity.
This media is very useful to ruin our daily life.
Correction:
This media plays a significant role in our daily lives.
This media plays a significant role in our daily lives.
Misuse of 'ruin' suggests a negative impact, which contradicts the context. The sentence structure is also simplified.
Social media can create a employment opportunities for unemployment people which is good thing for our nation.
Correction:
Social media can create employment opportunities for unemployed people, which is beneficial for our nation.
Social media can create employment opportunities for unemployed people, which is beneficial for our nation.
Incorrect article usage ('a' instead of 'an') and awkward phrasing. Also, 'unemployment people' should be 'unemployed people'.